i’m still kicking around…unfortunately
….and I’m 35.
To be honest, both Ali and I are kind of surprised I made it here. I mean really, we were both convinced I would have had a coronary by now seeing as I fly off the handle for almost no reason at all. But nope, to both of our dismay (and probably Maya’s as well) I’m still here, kicking around.
I wish I had some words of wisdom to share with you – something to show for my 35 years on this earth. But nope again! I’m really no further ahead than I was at 18. So instead I’ll share a few of the many meaningless and useless things I learned today:
1. My husband will keep calling American Express’ concierge service to ask them to do things that he could do himself in half the time.
2. American Express’ concierge service is utterly useless.
3. I will roll my eyes and make a smart ass comment every time my husband calls American Express’ concierge service.
4. My husband will ignore me and my rolling eyes. Completely.
5. Many wasted hours later my husband will directly call whomever he asked American Express’ concierge service to call on his behalf.
6. And I will roll my eyes and make another smart ass comment. And then I will pick up the phone and make the birthday lunch reservation that neither my husband nor American Express could manage to make.
I didn't roll my eyes at these...happy...happy...birthday...
I made a wish when I blew out the candles on my cake – I wished that Ali would cancel his American Express. And that I would actually learn something worthwhile during my 35th year on this planet.
Yeah, yeah. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone what my wish was. But whatever.
I knew neither of them would come true anyway.
sighted – p. diddy
I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have problems sharing. I’ve already talked about how I won’t share my bathroom. Or my water bottle. Have I mentioned I go into an apoplectic fit when Maya’s Zhu Zhu pets find their way onto my desk? Or when Ali sits in “my” chair at the kitchen table?
I realize I have issues. Many issues. But really, who cares? Because to be honest, I feel like I’ve earned the right to be selfish. Why? Well because I’ve had a child. I’ve had a child! And as far as I’m concerned, nothing Maya or Ali does can compare to that.
(As an aside – I use this justification all the time. It works.)
One thing I’m surprisingly unselfish with is my car. Ali drives my car to work regularly (must.preserve.miles.on.ali’s.car) which is usually okay. Sure I wish he didn’t leave his crap in my ashtray. And I’m not thrilled he fiddles around with my seat settings. But for the most part it’s okay.
Or it was. Until I saw this:
So you’re probably thinking – Jeez Ameena, what’s the big deal? So maybe you have to filter through a bit of P. Diddy (who I saw at Houston’s a few days ago – he is truly impressive in person) before you can get to your own songs. Is it really a crisis that Ali uploaded his eclectic music tastes? Do you have to blow everything out of proportion?
To answer your questions – yes and yes. Today it’s just my car radio and sure, I can skip over a little bit of Mace with minimal effort. But tomorrow? Tomorrow he might eat my gluten-free scones or dare I say it? Take over my closet.
Really, is nothing sacred anymore?
i'd rather drink contaminated water
Lately everywhere I look I see pregnant women. Everywhere.
I’ve concluded that there must be something in the water. And I am terrified! That’s why I’m enjoying an Evian instead of L.A.’s potentially contaminated tap water. After all, when given a choice between a screaming infant and a likely case of poisoning via Bisphenol A there really is a clear winner.
What amazes me is how every pregnant lady I come across looks like a million bucks. That “glow” thing? It really does exist. Unless your name is Ameena Din, in which case it doesn’t.
I had whatever the opposite of the pregnancy glow is…the pregnancy dull? I was pale and my hair was downright scary! I also distinctly recall one family member (who shall remain nameless…barely) ask me, “What is that all over your face?”
Some people have a knack for making you feel like a million bucks. She isn’t one of them.
I swear I’m not writing these things so someone can insist, “Of course you looked fabulous during your pregnancy!” No, I’m writing this to dispel the myth that pregnancy agrees with everyone. Because it doesn’t.
Another myth? That memories of labor and sleepless nights will fade away in the blink of an eye.
Yeah…sure. It’s been nearly 6 years and I still remember every second of my labor…and the nightmare of waking up around the clock for an entire year…and the incessant crying…and all of this for a money hungry, toothless 5-year-old.
Which brings us back to why I’m sipping from a plastic bottle that is likely contaminated with BPA. You do what you have to do, right?
PS – I just switched hosting sites so if you were a WordPress subscriber you may need to re-subscribe to receive posts via email. Thank you!
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
