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sighted – p. diddy

February 10, 2011

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have problems sharing. I’ve already talked about how I won’t share my bathroom. Or my water bottle. Have I mentioned I go into an apoplectic fit when Maya’s Zhu Zhu pets find their way onto my desk? Or when Ali sits in “my” chair at the kitchen table?

I realize I have issues. Many issues. But really, who cares? Because to be honest, I feel like I’ve earned the right to be selfish. Why? Well because I’ve had a child. I’ve had a child! And as far as I’m concerned, nothing Maya or Ali does can compare to that.

(As an aside – I use this justification all the time. It works.)

One thing I’m surprisingly unselfish with is my car. Ali drives my car to work regularly (must.preserve.miles.on.ali’ which is usually okay. Sure I wish he didn’t leave his crap in my ashtray. And I’m not thrilled he fiddles around with my seat settings. But for the most part it’s okay.

Or it was. Until I saw this:

So you’re probably thinking – Jeez Ameena, what’s the big deal? So maybe you have to filter through a bit of P. Diddy (who I saw at Houston’s a few days ago – he is truly impressive in person) before you can get to your own songs.  Is it really a crisis that Ali uploaded his eclectic music tastes? Do you have to blow everything out of proportion?

To answer your questions – yes and yes. Today it’s just my car radio and sure, I can skip over a little bit of Mace with minimal effort. But tomorrow? Tomorrow he might eat my gluten-free scones or dare I say it? Take over my closet.

Really, is nothing sacred anymore?

65 Comments leave one →
  1. February 10, 2011 12:55 am

    Gary and I have complete opposite tastes in music. So he has his folder with his music and I have mine. The rule is, whoever is driving gets to pick what we’re listening to. Well that WAS the rule until K messed up the whole system and took over after mommy brilliantly downloaded kids’ songs for her. Now we’re stuck listening to kiddie music…sigh. Never should have gone there. I never learn.

    • February 10, 2011 9:01 am

      I lie and tell Maya that my satellite radio doesn’t have a children’s station…only Ali’s. She believes me. So far. I have no shame.

  2. February 10, 2011 1:25 am

    Ooh he totally crossed the line!

  3. February 10, 2011 3:29 am

    Wow. That takes balls! It’s one thing to borrow the car, but man, he totally crossed the line! Oh, I use that excuse for everything. I’ve had 3 c-sections, anything spencer does can never compare. Ever.

  4. February 10, 2011 3:31 am

    I think you can totally justify anything with the “birthed a child” excuse. I hate when my husband just takes a “sip” out of my glass. Makes me crazy.
    I think because we have to share so much (our bodies, our minds (thinking for everyone else) when there is something that we can hold onto that is just ours we have to hold tight!

    Hopefully Ali has learned his lesson.

  5. February 10, 2011 4:03 am

    Haha – it’s SO important to cut off boundary violations at the start 😉 I mean, really, you gave him a finger and he bit off your whole hand with this whole car borrowing thing.

  6. February 10, 2011 4:04 am

    In my family, when everyone’s in the car, the music selection is always an issue. My parents always went by the rule “whoever’s in the driver and passenger seat” get to decide. Now that I can drive and my brother’s leg’s are ridiculously long (he usually gets the passenger seat by default), they’ve decided to change it up and dictate their rule from the back. What’s that about?

    Whatever you do, you better set that rule soon! lol

  7. February 10, 2011 4:07 am

    Thankfully the Husband and I have similar music tastes. But sometimes, I change the radio when he’s driving his car, but if he tried to do that to me, all hell would break loose.

  8. February 10, 2011 5:51 am

    even if the music thing is driving you nuts, i’m impressed that you’ll let him drive your car. i am also a bad sharer (hide food regularly from husein, don’t let him use my favorite travel mug, scowl if he uses my lap top) and the car thing was a point of contention for awhile. these days we’re sharing one car anyway though so i’ve been forced to be reasonable (overrated).

  9. February 10, 2011 7:29 am

    I know what you mean. Give them a *little* and they come in for the kill and take it all.

    They certainly don’t feel bad for taking the last sip of *my* coke then leaving in on the counter. Or for ME flushing the toilet they previously clogged only to have it almost overflow leaving me frantically plunging away. Nor do they think twice to ask for seconds or a drink as soon as *I* SIT DOWN to EAT.

    Because of this, I don’t feel guily for hiding the last couple of diet sunkists WAY in the back of the bottom drawer in the fridge..even if they are DYING for a coke. Nor do I feel guilty about giggling as I use the last clean towel in the morning, knowing what I’m putting my husband through.

    I don’t think that is me being selfish…I think it’s called survival.

  10. February 10, 2011 7:41 am

    I think I’ve commented before that I hate sharing my water bottle with my husband (why did you not prepare for your own thirst?!?!)… we now keep separate cars but, for a period, he was driving “my” car, the one I had purchased before we were married, and leaving all kinds of trash in there. We had words. And now his car is much more tidy.

  11. February 10, 2011 7:51 am

    Could be worse. He could listen to Kesha and leave Taco Bell wrappers in the car. Not that I would ever do that. I’m just saying that may be worse 😉

  12. February 10, 2011 7:54 am

    If he takes over the closet, divorce him. Because that would seriously be crossing the line 😉

  13. February 10, 2011 8:38 am

    Better to reprimand him before the situation gets even worse 🙂

  14. February 10, 2011 8:42 am

    sharing is definitely overrated. i see no point in it. but i do expect people to share with me.

  15. February 10, 2011 8:51 am

    Well, you probably don’t want to hear this, but at least he has better taste in music than Derek. If he loaded his Yanni onto my car stereo, I’d go ape. And I didn’t even know you could load music onto a car stereo. I can’t even work out how to upload itunes to my brand new ipod that’s sitting totally empty.

    I don’t mind sharing, but then again, Derek and I don’t usually fight over the same things. Funny that you have a special chair in your kitchen, which I adore by the way- love all that sunlight and the million dollar view. ❤

  16. February 10, 2011 8:53 am

    As you know I grew up in a crazy large family so sharing was a must (4 to a bedroom anyone?) and I insist my kids share everything. But I totally understand the car situation. When I get into my car after Glenn has been driving it and need to throw away the gum wrappers, the gatorade bottle, move my seat and adjust the radio, I kinda wish he’d stick to his own car.

    Thanks for your always kind words. To join the 21st century after a long hiatus will just take time. I feel better about myself already.

  17. February 10, 2011 9:15 am

    Ameena, you are killing me!

    I am actually your polar opposite…I think.

    I am pretty good about sharing every living thing I own but my car…and it’s really the “family” car as we really only have one…sort of, get’s messed with all the time.

    and it peeves me.

    Can nothing, NOTHING me mine?

    no, it comes with “having that child” and being married.

    So to get even, whenever husband has something I want (or to eat) I say…what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is….

    say it with me, MINE!

    I would like to be more possessive with MY things and should be….
    plus if I had an AUDI and not a stupid Honda….things might be different!

    thanks for the laugh!

  18. February 10, 2011 9:48 am

    I love you for not wanting to share. I nearly broke up with my boyfriend once in the middle of a restaurant because he took one of my spring rolls without asking – the fact that it was an all you can eat buffet was irrelevant. It was MINE.

  19. February 10, 2011 9:49 am

    Wahaha…. I can feel your pain. I don’t like sharing either. That why the 3 of us have iPhones and iPods so what is personal stays personal even during long distance driving from NoCal to SoCal. BTW, have you read the book by Amy Chua?

    • February 12, 2011 10:40 am

      I haven’t read Amy’s book yet but I have heard SO much about it. I think she purposely tried to be controversial so that she’d get a ton of publicity. Of course she was very successful! And I will like be reading her book because of it. Did you read it? What did you think?

  20. February 10, 2011 10:18 am

    Baahahah! He is prolly hiding all kinds of electrical wires in your closet! LOL

  21. February 10, 2011 10:21 am

    I dont have children AND I am selfish AND I hate to share (especially food). My feeling is “what’s mine is mine and whats yours is mine”– good rule of thumb.
    P. Diddy? God, you see everyone daaaaahling!
    *kisses* HH

  22. February 10, 2011 10:24 am

    You’re so right…don’t give hubby an inch or he’ll take a mile, lol! (Speaking from personal experience here. 😉 )

  23. February 10, 2011 10:41 am

    put your foot down! strike a blow for females everywhere 🙂

  24. February 10, 2011 11:00 am

    CRAP! My idealistic version of family life FOILED again by your candor…and SHARING. See? I proved you wrong…you share all the time!

    Wouldn’t you like to share some insight on how to bring such gracious HUMOR into the world?

  25. February 10, 2011 11:37 am

    That might rattle my chain a bit as well. You are a visitor in my car. You can use it, but you better darn well leave it like ya found it. Tsk tsk Ali.

  26. February 10, 2011 11:50 am

    I have to say I’m just like you with regards to the radio! I hate when people (namely my husband and sister) change the setting. I’m patient with almost everything but this I have to say is The Line.

  27. February 10, 2011 12:14 pm

    My husband used my car to go on a ski trip a few weeks ago, and he ejected all of my CD’s and put them in other random CD cases. So the next day I was driving down the freeway frantically searching for my CD’s like I was playing a matching game! I am pretty flexible, but don’t mess with my music!!
    Did you go to the Houston’s in Century City? That used to be my favorite lunch hangout back in the day — way way back in the day.

    • February 12, 2011 10:56 am

      I did go to the Houston’s in Century City – that place is still packed. Despite the overpriced food and long waits. Go figure!

  28. February 10, 2011 12:15 pm

    Oh no! It can only go down hill from here trust me…crack the whip baby 😉

  29. February 10, 2011 5:01 pm

    P.Diddy? That’s like gangsta music for vagina beginners…hahah! He’ll never live that down. Never

  30. February 10, 2011 5:05 pm

    P.Diddy is bad, but it could be Fergie. Just sayin’!

    Don’t let Ali know I said that though. Let him be shamed! I kid, I kid.

  31. February 10, 2011 6:03 pm

    Music choice has been always an issues between me and Rita.
    I just hate listen the same music over many times.
    To overcome things, i will engage her in a conversation and switch my the radio on.

    It works for me, as long i kept her busy talking or thinking about something.

  32. February 10, 2011 6:11 pm

    I would be upset if someone messed with my music too. I can’t deal with bad background noise! However, you’re nicer than me, because if I actually had a car I would never lend it to anyone. I’m not generous or trusting. And I haven’t had a child either, so there goes that excuse. maybe that just makes me an awful person?

  33. February 10, 2011 6:44 pm

    P.Diddy on the stereo…the next thing you know there will be FUBU in your closet. Constant Vigilance is not elective at this point.

    I’m going to take “Is nothing sacred anymore?” and say God is Dead.

  34. February 10, 2011 8:28 pm

    This is hilarious!
    I love that you admit all of the stuff you do.
    I do not like to share food either.

  35. February 10, 2011 8:38 pm

    Ha! I definitely have some P Diddy on my iPod. Or Puff Daddy… or whatever you want to call him 🙂

  36. February 10, 2011 11:33 pm

    At least he didn’t put in the “Let me see that thong” song. Hey, it could be worse. Hehe.

  37. February 11, 2011 12:08 am

    A girls gotta have her boundaries so high fives to you Ameena for riding your boundaries girlfriend 🙂 I love that your reasoning for everything is ‘you’ve had a child’. That’s the way…. from where I sit… that’s plenty reason enough! 🙂

  38. February 11, 2011 8:54 am

    My husband keeps saving really loud, annoying bands on our satellite radio, so every time they come on on another station, I get an “Artist Alert”. I want to murder him. So yes, it’s totally a big deal, and I completely understand your irritation. Maybe you should warn him in advance to keep his grubby mitts off your GF scones. Once he’s had one, it’ll be twice as hard to keep him away from them!

  39. February 11, 2011 11:56 am

    Tim flipped out when I thumbs upped something on his Pandora station. Sheesh. You people are touchy!

  40. February 11, 2011 1:52 pm


  41. February 11, 2011 2:07 pm

    I am so using the I had kids line, soon, tomorrow, right now. On the other hand I think it is time to erase the songs and buy a nice Ipod plug that goes into the console. That way he can have his stuff and you can have yours, no crossing lines. Unless he wants to input the music into your car each time he gets in.

  42. galitbreen permalink
    February 11, 2011 3:03 pm

    GF, you are too funny! & you’re 100% right on all counts- your space is sacred, you *did* birth a child and YIPPYY! You saw P.Diddy! Loved the post, as always. XO

  43. February 11, 2011 3:04 pm

    Wow, you are a much better person than I am. I never ever let my hubby borrow my car! 🙂

  44. February 11, 2011 4:18 pm

    You do not get to alter the radio in a borrowed car (unless it’s a rental) – doesn’t everyone know this?! You better watch out, next it isn’t just the closet, he may go after your clothes 😉

    • Ali permalink
      February 13, 2011 7:02 pm

      Hey now- let’s not cross that line 🙂
      These songs are really old. On top of my list these days is stereo love by Edward Maya – remix

      PS: Happy Birnthday Ameena!

  45. Kath (My Funny Little Life) permalink
    February 11, 2011 5:01 pm

    I am very special with my things, therefore I can relate a lot! Still, since I am on my own, I don’t have to share, but when I had a relationship, this peculiarity of mine was a source of conflict sometimes.

  46. February 11, 2011 7:07 pm

    LOL – I agree – sacredness!! On the other hand…I do kind of like that new “Diddy” (I feel so weird saying that) song out with the girl (something with “Home” in the title?)…

    Thank you for still reading my blog – your comments make me smile 🙂

  47. February 11, 2011 9:31 pm

    Haha. Ryan has “AMAZING” music taste. He is hip. He gets very embarrassed when I pull out my Taylor Swift CD (I get embarrassed too). Thank you for sharing another hilarious anecdote with me me. You never let me down! I hope you have a weekend of love and relaxation. We all need it, I think!

  48. February 11, 2011 10:04 pm

    I hear you. I got all upset when I got back to my car and it was not tuned to NPR any more! 😉

    Your post reminded me of this from Rush Hour…

  49. February 11, 2011 10:05 pm

    OMG. Your comment section is so fancy! The video automatically shows up?! Now I have fancy Comment section plug-in envy… ZOMG.

  50. February 11, 2011 10:55 pm

    Love your blog just came across it! I subscribed to it already! 🙂 Pete and I (my man) always argue about the radio. Its really annoying but its on of the major things that ticks me off with him… LOL…

  51. February 12, 2011 6:56 am

    I could deal with the radio being taken over but I couldnt deal with someone eating something that I love and buy for myself!

  52. February 12, 2011 8:42 pm

    It could have been worse…much worse…Justin Bieber LOL

    His toenails are edging THE LINE here.

    award for you over on my page 🙂

  53. February 12, 2011 9:25 pm

    lol and the fun continues 😀

  54. February 12, 2011 10:12 pm

    I don’t think I would ever let M borrow my car. No never I think. Does that make you a good person and me not so much? Because till now I have been thinking rather secure in reading your posts thinking “ah! I’m not alone” 😉

  55. February 13, 2011 12:30 am

    haha…i used to be manic about my car radio too. NOOO TOUCHIE.

    well. at least it wasn’t Katy Perry or Kesha. things could’ve been worse. 😉

  56. February 13, 2011 1:54 pm

    You’re right, it’s the little things that make us smile throughout the day that are sacred, like being able to count on our favorite music to get us through a stressful commute… Hold onto your simple pleasures and favorite songs, you deserve them! 🙂

  57. February 15, 2011 9:48 pm

    I need your advice on getting a “pet” I can only handle something Maya could handle. What would be fun?
    Zhu Zhu
    A chia dinosaur pet
    a plastic goldfish….

    • February 16, 2011 8:37 am

      I would go with anything that doesn’t move or make noise. Or need batteries. I’d say a plastic goldfish would be your best bet?

  58. February 17, 2011 9:15 am

    why was P Diddy impressive in person?? Cause of the entourage? Anyways, I like how Ali comments on this blog…hahahhaah. Too bad his musical tastes have been busted.

  59. February 17, 2011 1:40 pm

    What a line crosser! Ali, you better not touch her closet

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