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i'd rather drink contaminated water

February 7, 2011

Lately everywhere I look I see pregnant women. Everywhere.

I’ve concluded that there must be something in the water. And I am terrified! That’s why I’m enjoying an Evian instead of L.A.’s potentially contaminated tap water. After all, when given a choice between a screaming infant and a likely case of poisoning via Bisphenol A there really is a clear winner.

What amazes me is how every pregnant lady I come across looks like a million bucks. That “glow” thing? It really does exist. Unless your name is Ameena Din, in which case it doesn’t.

I had whatever the opposite of the pregnancy glow is…the pregnancy dull? I was pale and my hair was downright scary! I also distinctly recall one family member (who shall remain nameless…barely) ask me, “What is that all over your face?”

Some people have a knack for making you feel like a million bucks. She isn’t one of them.

I swear I’m not writing these things so someone can insist, “Of course you looked fabulous during your pregnancy!” No, I’m writing this to dispel the myth that pregnancy agrees with everyone. Because it doesn’t.

Another myth? That memories of labor and sleepless nights will fade away in the blink of an eye.

Yeah…sure. It’s been nearly 6 years and I still remember every second of my labor…and the nightmare of waking up around the clock for an entire year…and the incessant crying…and all of this for a money hungry, toothless 5-year-old.

Which brings us back to why I’m sipping from a plastic bottle that is likely contaminated with BPA. You do what you have to do, right?

PS – I just switched hosting sites so if you were a WordPress subscriber you may need to re-subscribe to receive posts via email. Thank you!

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59 Comments leave one →
  1. February 7, 2011 1:40 am

    Ameena, whether you like it or not, you definitely have a glow. You glow with inner and outer beauty, kindness, wit, and humor. Don’t ever change. 

    Yay for Maya losing her first tooth, how exciting! Such a cute picture!

  2. February 7, 2011 4:44 am

    Awe… Maya looks so cute with those missing teeth!

  3. February 7, 2011 6:26 am

    Clearly you’ve never been to Missouri. Pregnant women everywhere.

    It’s like a way of life.

    This is why I moved…

  4. February 7, 2011 6:54 am

    It’s funny because we took our son to a superbowl party and when he had a meltdown, two women remembered that they needed to take their birth control 😉
    Yea, you don’t ever forget how much work being pregnant and having a child is. Ever 😉

  5. February 7, 2011 7:04 am

    I should forward this on to my pregnant sister. 🙂

  6. February 7, 2011 7:39 am

    I’ve been noticing pregnant ladies everywhere, too, including a coworker who is about to give birth any day now! (Literally. It scares me.) I think it’s probably because I was asked if I “had a bun in the oven” last week (definitely not) and I’m super sensitive about it!

  7. February 7, 2011 8:16 am

    My sister was one of those glowing pregnant women…which I’m hoping might mean that it runs in the family…although I suspect my own pregnancy (whenever that happens) will prove otherwise.

  8. February 7, 2011 8:21 am

    I take it maya is not getting any siblings 😉 well, I appreciate your candid honesty about being pregnant ans not feeling the glow. One adorable toothless 5 year old seems to take the cake .

  9. February 7, 2011 8:24 am

    Not gonna lie, I appreciate your honesty about labor and how pregnancy can just suck sometimes. I have a feeling I love being pregnant, but I definitely won’t go into it with any expectations about how wonderful it’s going to be.

    • February 11, 2011 7:11 pm

      I was thinking the same thing. I love how refreshingly honest you are Ameena! Not to go all “Hollywood” and expose my shallowness here – ahem, cough, cough – but I read before about Celebs talking about pregnancy. J Lo was over the moon about it and always wanted to be pregnant….and then Jessica Alba was like – (paraphrased) – “It was horrible, I was fat and was an emotional wreck” .

      Sounds lovely.

      😉

  10. February 7, 2011 8:32 am

    I am one of those people that refuses to accept you looked anything but fabulous when pregnant. I, on the other hand, have already accepted that I will look like a short, fat penguin when pregnant. The only consolation is that I will get to eat as many bags of Cheetos as I want. That and I’m making the hubster buy me a Petunia Picklebottom diaper bag.

    • February 7, 2011 9:44 pm

      Petunia Picklebottom seems to be all the rage! But trust me when I say that you should just buy something cheap because the barf, formula, etc. will make you want to get rid of it after a year.

  11. February 7, 2011 8:34 am

    Ameena, first of all I also refuse to believe you had a “dull glow” during pregnancy and second of all…don’t you wish you had another one of these adorable, money hungry, & toothless princesses?! 🙂

  12. February 7, 2011 8:38 am

    I agree that something is in the water, but I must not be drinking enough of it because I’m not getting preggers. Is this God’s way of saying drink more wine, don’t have a baby?

  13. February 7, 2011 8:40 am

    ohmygoshshelostatooth!

    is it THAT time already?

    Mine just finally got them all in…and I mean ALL OF THEM. Kid is a shark I think…layers and layers of teeth.

    plus he’s a biter.

    I don’t remember feeling like I glowed. I did LOVE my hair though and I just saw a recent pic of my post baby hair and I was jealous of my post pregnant self. (wierd).

    about 5 months later it ALL fell out …and than some and I looked horrible.

    DARNIT too because I tried to take advantage of the hair thing and grow mine out.

    I also just suffered a few JJ inspired sleepless nights and realized for over a year I did not get one good night’s sleep and I don’t know how I survived it.

    motherly love or espresso?
    hehe

    and I think the blossoming bellies is pandemic right now, I was at Target Saturday and it was 2 to 1 in the large belly dept.

    maybe 3 to 1. It was insane.

    (but I felt very thin)

    rambling. sorry.
    Happy Monday my friend and CONGRATS to MAYA!

  14. February 7, 2011 8:43 am

    haha you do what you have to do! i have a feeling i will not be one of those glowing pregnant women, either!- although I am still sure you looked great:)

  15. February 7, 2011 8:52 am

    I won’t forget about labor and sleepless nights once they pass? Darn. I am with you on your theory – my face looks like it is glowing from afar. Once you get closer, you notice the pregnancy related pimples causing the “redness.”

  16. February 7, 2011 9:20 am

    I am terrified of being pregnant and labor. It sounds downright awful to me. That’s why I’m not doing it!! Stick to that bottled water!

  17. February 7, 2011 9:49 am

    The pregnancy dull! That is hilarious…and would probably happen to me if I ever got pregnant. This is why I’m taking every measure against it.

  18. sana permalink
    February 7, 2011 10:32 am

    hahaha oh ameena! my skin was terrible when I was pregnant.. but then I found a miraculous facialist who helped me get a little bit of a glow, which disappears after you give birth anyway due to lack of sleep. anyhow you must stay away from relatives who make you feel bad about yourself…..

    • February 7, 2011 9:46 pm

      Yes, we all have those relatives, don’t we? And I started going to a facialist for the first time when I was pregnant and she helped…a bit.

  19. February 7, 2011 10:32 am

    I’m sure you looked fab when pregnant, I remember seeing your post-delivery pic and you looked gorg!

    I’m scared about getting pregnant (when I actually get the courage and lose the selfishness and/or get fed up of desi aunties wondering why I don’t have any kids yet). I am scared I am going to get all puffy and bloated big nose. My mom wasn’t huge, so I’m hoping the genes will pass down.

  20. February 7, 2011 10:48 am

    Now I feel scared about pregnancy again, not that you have scared me. I too have seen friends and family going through how beautiful it is to be pregnant to how disastorous the entire process can be. So trust me there are many who feel that way.

    About the family member, do you really think such kind of people need a reason to make mean comments.

    Maya looks cute with the missing tooth.

  21. February 7, 2011 12:05 pm

    Yeah I would start chugging that water! You won’t get any kidney stones either. Not sure if that is true, but we can roll with it!

  22. February 7, 2011 12:55 pm

    Too funny…I’m still a little scared to get my own pregnancy dull, lol! And I agree, we do what we have to do! 😉

  23. February 7, 2011 12:57 pm

    Oh gawd this was funny, right down to the perfect picture of the money hungry child!
    I’m with you: stick to the bottled water, don’t take any chances!

  24. February 7, 2011 1:28 pm

    It’s in the water here too…and I would rather lick the snow off my van than deal with a newborn again.

  25. February 7, 2011 2:08 pm

    hahahah. i don’t know if i believe you that labor is ingrained in your mind. there’s no other explanation as to why my mother had so many….

  26. February 7, 2011 4:16 pm

    Having lived in LA for several years, I think it’s best to always drink bottled water – who knows what they’re experimenting with in that water 😉 One of my girlfriends just had a baby and she was definitely not glowing (so you’re not alone) – she had “morning sickness” for her entire pregnancy! And yes, I’m risking bishpenol A poisoning now.

  27. February 7, 2011 4:44 pm

    I swear, everyone around me is either pregnant, or just engaged. Both of which piss me off.

  28. February 7, 2011 4:57 pm

    I bet you looked glowy preggo =) I’m terrified that i’ll totally scare people in public. ahaha!

  29. February 7, 2011 5:07 pm

    I am drinking as much bottled water as possible too. No babies for me, yet! No thank you! Maya is cute. She looks thrilled about the money, love it.

  30. February 7, 2011 5:14 pm

    I too felt downright ugly, sick and gross while pregnant. But of course every pregnant woman I ever see looks so beautiful. What gives? I always say I had postpartum euphoria because I was so happy not to be pregnant anymore.

    • February 9, 2011 7:36 pm

      I had the same euphoria! I was back in my jeans and things were great…until Maya started crying and would not stop!

  31. February 7, 2011 6:14 pm

    When I try to picture how I would look as a pregnant woman, I get frightened enough to drink BPA water too. First of all, I look like I’m 16 years old, so people will assume I’m of the “Teen Mom” variety. I’m petite, so I would look like one of the squat, fat munchkins from the wizard of oz. With my luck, I would probably get acne. But hey, this isn’t all about vanity…sleepless nights and crying infants sound just as appealing as being a rolly polly.
    The scariest part about me admitting all of this is that I kind of want to be a mother one day. Maybe.

    By the way, Maya’s lucky that she’s toothless on the bottom. I remember loosing my two top front teeth at the same time and I was too ashamed to open my mouth. It was a dark time for 7 year old me.

  32. February 7, 2011 6:18 pm

    Oh I bet you were a gorgeous pregnant woman! I seriously think pregnant women are so beautiful. I have had to resist the urge to touch a woman’s pregnant belly on many occasions…and it is for this reason that my husband is making me drink that Evian as well. 😉

  33. February 7, 2011 6:31 pm

    I’m happy with just the one kid too!

    Also, I wanted to let you know that I’m switching from email subscriptions to RSS feeds. If you get a notification, I haven’t dropped you. I’m still reading!

  34. February 7, 2011 6:40 pm

    I haven’t met you personally, but from reading your posts regularly I can tell you that you definitely glow pregnant or not! 🙂 Oh, and I haven’t forgotten the sleepless nights either. No more kids for me – hand over that bpa bottle so I can have a swig.

  35. February 7, 2011 6:56 pm

    The toothless wonder was totally worth it, and I totally see how she stole your glow while you coocupied your body. Believe me nothing is worst then twins, actually probably other higher multiples.

  36. February 7, 2011 7:06 pm

    Ok so if you claim that you looked less than stellar while pregnant, what’s a mere 9 months out of twenty-something years, right? You look gorgeous now and that’s what counts! 🙂

    By the way, have you noticed (well, I guess not, if you’re drinking Evian) that LA water really smells like Chlorox lately? I LOVE the water in the desert, but the water here in LA is gross.

  37. February 7, 2011 8:04 pm

    And the Extortion begins. I’m pretty sure when Billy and I started out, we got nickels taped to dollar store-toys. We were just rollin’ in it, really.

    Make sure you wash those water bottles in hot water to make sure you’re getting the full effect, lady! I’d sleep with one in the bed with you if I thought that it would help.

  38. February 8, 2011 5:27 am

    What are you talking about?! That “preggers-glow” only happens to other people! I had the “preggers-dull” 😐 and it was awful. I remember that I used to feel all washed-out and bloated, and my “dark-circles-dull-skin” look added to the complete look. Grrr! In fact, I did not have the “wedding-glow” either! In India, they try to rationalize the preggers-dull with more superstitious thinking (now THAT’s a paradox!) that if the mother is all beautiful and glowing, it’s a boy. But if the mother seems to have *air-quotes* reduced in beauty *un-airquotes*, then it must be a girl, because the baby girl is taking all her mom’s beauty! Oh well, at least someone is winning here… 😐

  39. February 8, 2011 8:46 am

    That money hungry, toothless little girl is so cute!
    Have you tried boiling the water? I bet that kills all those preggo-germs.

  40. February 8, 2011 8:52 am

    I had a pregnancy glow … sweat. Seriously. My face shone all through my pregnancies, because I was constantly dripping with sweat, even in winter. Every time somebody gushed about my cute pregnancy glow I wanted to throw something at them.

    Actually, I wanted to throw things a lot during my pregnancies.

    Oh, and the hair? Fell out. Like crazy. I was convinced I was going to be bald by the time my second child was weaned.

    And I still have not, and never will, forget the pain of labor. Both times. Most of my friends say you forget after one year. NOT ME. The misery of pregnancy itself has faded to a dull ache, but every detail of labor is etched permanently into my brain.

    I am so, so glad to be done with all of that.

  41. February 8, 2011 11:42 am

    I was waiting for you to say at the end of the post that you were pregnant. I got that wrong!

  42. February 8, 2011 12:59 pm

    Hi Ameena — I love your site — It is so refreshing to read an honest portrayal of motherhood. Plus, you reminded me to keep drinking contaminated water, which is another huge bonus. I have three boys; I am soooo done!

  43. February 8, 2011 2:22 pm

    When I was 16, I worked with a woman who had that GLOW. I mean, she walked around the restaurant and while she was beautiful to begin with, when she was pregnant, all eyes followed her, and the men had to pick their chins up off of the floor. She was GORGEOUS. I don’t know how all of us impressionable young women didn’t end up pregnant, wanting to look like that.

    Me? I looked like an eggplant when I was pregnant. And my daughter will be 15 soon, and I totally remember how much childbirth hurt, and how much I missed sleep that first year or two. Sigh. Yeah, she’s an only child.

  44. February 8, 2011 9:17 pm

    Yeah, I don’t drink the water at work because every year there are at least 2 different people (usually of the female variety) who are pregnant! While I’m happy to work in such a pro-family and flexible workplace, there are times that I find the cult of motherhood to be a bit much.
    Fortunately, pretty much all of my friends who have had kids fall into the pragmatic and funny type of parents. Shew!
    I am also in awe of people who commit to having and raising kids. In fact, I raise a glass of to you all right now – big slurp!

  45. February 8, 2011 9:42 pm

    Pregnancy doesn’t different things to different people. All I know is that I’m TERRIFIED. I’m waiting for as long as I can. But if I can have a daughter as beautiful as Maya, I would feel blessed. Thanks for always making me smile with your words and photos. I hope that your Wednesday is full of joy!

  46. February 9, 2011 7:11 am

    Serious? She lost a tooth at 5? Is that when it starts? That soon? I might just cry.

    I wish I could empathize and commiserate regarding the whole pregnancy thing, but I can’t (sigh of relief). Adoption rocks. Just thought I’d let you know.

    I can drink my filtered tap water because it just doesn’t matter. (Another sigh of relief.)

  47. February 9, 2011 7:22 am

    Oh dear I’ve noticed a LOT of pregnant people around here in Portland as well! I suppose it’s the start of the next babyboom or such?
    I admire every woman who trudges through a pregnancy and labour- I’m still young but I’m definitely terrified of both, definitely no easy feat!

  48. February 9, 2011 1:04 pm

    haha, I used to say this living in the Army town…that there was something in the water that made everyone get pregnant right before their husband deployed…I was terrified of the concept. 😉

  49. February 9, 2011 2:01 pm

    I think it’s a pandemic – every person I know is knocked up, myself included. And all of us have uttered the words, “didn’t think it would be so easy.” You might be on to something with blaming the water.
    Definitely don’t have the glow. What I do have is undereye bags and a pallor rivaling that of a corpse due to my hourly ritual of emptying the contents of my stomach. And the flaking skin on my back is rivaled only by the chunks coming off of my hipbones. Lovely. I have a feeling I’m going to really, really resent those cutely-attired, blushing moms-to-be in no time at all 🙂

  50. February 9, 2011 2:31 pm

    My son’s first molar came out at school yesterday. He wants $10. Can you believe that?! I swear.

    I think about having a #2, but then i think about crusty diaper bags, big bulky car seats *cringe* and the smell of baby puke (sour milk–barf) … then I’m instantly cured and snap out of it. 🙂

  51. February 9, 2011 3:41 pm

    but no matter what we are still all going to say that you DID have the glow! hmmm i always thought the pregnancy glow was a bit of a myth simply because not all pregnant women ive seen look very glowy…many look as if they are about to snap and kill a person. but also it could be my city because people are a tad “uptight” here…we tend to have difficulty relaxing… so maybe its more of a look of fear than of happiness or bliss in the mother’s face lol.

    xoxo

  52. Kath (My Funny Little Life) permalink
    February 9, 2011 5:33 pm

    I can’t believe you’re able to look dull at all! Congratulations to getting through it, in the end! And I think having your daughter is absolutely worth it, even if she’s gone through some teethless monster phases. (I’m afraid there are other monster phases to come …) 😉

  53. February 9, 2011 8:45 pm

    Why the hell are so many celebs preggers these days? I think you’re right. And to echo the first comment on this post,
    “Ameena, whether you like it or not, you definitely have a glow. You glow with inner and outer beauty, kindness, wit, and humor. Don’t ever change. ”
    Agree =) ❤

  54. February 17, 2011 1:42 pm

    Haha, but I am sure you were a gorgeous pregnant lady!

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