what are you good at?
Do you ever wonder what you are good at? I mean really, really good at? For many people the answer is obvious as they were born with the ability to sing, to model, to invent, to pioneer…
I was born with the talent to…bitch and complain? Make fun of Ali and Maya? Clean obsessively?
This question consumes me. Especially lately as I get older and have yet to figure out what my point in life is. Because really, as much as I love creating works of art in Excel, I’m not exactly changing the world with my spreadsheets.
That’s not to say that I’m not good at things, because I am. After all, I am a super talented when it comes to:
1. Nodding appropriately and interjecting filler words as I pretend to listen to Maya’s numerous and lengthy stories.
2. Pulling together fabulous Power Point presentations, complete with fade in transitions, SmartArt and animation.
3. Squashing my smart ass comments as I pick up Ali’s dirty clothes from the top of the hamper and put them inside the hamper. Again.
4. Keeping Bloomingdale’s in business.
5. Reading everything I can get my hands on, including important literary works of art like Mini Shopaholic: A Novel.
Thus far Maya excels in socializing and in golf. And in driving me batty.
So tell me, is anyone else feeling slightly useless as they watch the amazing people with Doctors Without Borders and the Red Cross deploy off to Japan to save lives?
i didn’t think i’d make it this far
7 Things nobody ever told me about motherhood:
1. You will have the urge to bang your head against a brick wall daily. Hard.
2. Having to handle your child’s baby teeth is grosser than cleaning up the never-ending vomit.
3. The snack you bring to school once a month will be subject to much contemplation and discussion, and ultimately disapproval.
4. Friends of your kindergarten-going child will call you by your first name. And there is nothing you can do about it.
5. Sirius radio will become a must-have in your car simply because “Kids Place” will shut your child up for 15 minute stretches.
6. You’ll have to establish a quota for questions each day in order to prevent yourself from going mad.
7. On your child’s birthday you’ll wonder why nobody is giving you gifts, seeing as you were the one who did all the hard work.
One thing everyone told me about motherhood…
Times flies by.
And….she’s 6.
real life
A few weeks ago I was floored because I thought – for a split second – that Ali actually had a valid point about something.
It all started after he read my post about trying too hard and said,“It’s one thing to write this stuff for people you don’t know, but are you okay with people you do know reading about your insecurities?”
I thought about it. I almost deleted the post and debated coming up with a new angle on Maya’s hoarding issues. But then I realized that I shouldn’t let my concerns about my audience dictate what I write.
So often we get caught up in putting on our game face. We slap on some makeup. We put on $400 shoes and get manicures and buy designer jeans. We do whatever it takes to cover up our shortcomings and our weaknesses because we only want the world to see us at our best.
We had two photos from a party we attended this weekend but I look half asleep in the other one. So yes, I suppose I'm guilty again of putting on a front...
One only has to look at my profile picture to know that I too am guilty of this. This photo was taken an hour after I had my hair done professionally and since it looks that good once in a blue moon I knew I had to capture it and put it out there for everyone to see.
And while I want to put my best out there I do think it’s important to maintain some semblance of honesty around here because otherwise you might as well spend your time keeping up with Kim Kardashian as she heads to the gym in full makeup and with perfect hair. Because that’s real life, right?
Oh and Ali? Just to clarify? You didn’t have a valid point after all. Just as I expected.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
