lax – lhr
Do you know what I hear right now?
Absolutely nothing.
I don’t hear Ali tapping on his keyboard or snoring in my ear or asking me what is quite possibly the most annoying question in the world: “What can I snack on?”
I don’t hear Maya begging for a dog named Darwin or demanding a play date with some random girl we met at the mall 6 weeks ago. And I certainly don’t hear her asking me the second most annoying question in the world: “What can I eat if I’m still hungry?”
Why don’t I hear any of these things? Well because Maya and Ali are currently in London.
And in case you’re wondering, I’m still recovering from a packing marathon that involved me rolling Ali and Maya’s clothes to minimize wrinkles and maximize space.
Why did I pack for my husband you ask? Well he was busy in his own right, strategizing for hours about how best to fit the iPad, his laptop, the video camera, his Windows Mobile something or another, and his vast collection of toothpaste. To avoid breakage/loss of course.
And while I’m admittedly jealous my family is frolicking in an English park while I work 10 + hour days, I have to say, I’m sort of having my own little vacation right now. Because…
- I eat what I want, when I want.
- I get to work at 7:30 am and score the most amazing parking spot.
- There isn’t a single dish in the sink. Not one.
And if that wasn’t enough, tonight, when I breeze through airport security without having to coordinate Ali’s electronics, Maya’s shoe removal, and more of Ali’s electronics? When I board my own flight to London with just my carry-on, my laptop, and my Bose noise cancelling headphones?
I’ll have 11 hours of peace and quiet ahead of me. I can’t wait.
arrangements
Summer. Vacation.
If there were ever two words that put the fear of God in me, it’s those two.
Here’s what I know about summer vacation:
- We are two days into it.
- I’m ready for it to be over.
- I hate the lack of structure.
- No matter how many activities I organize for a certain someone I keep hearing “I’m bored, what should I do next?”
- I am and will continue to be cooking for and cleaning up after Maya constantly.
- Despite the stupidity of the term, play dates are crucial.
- I am and will continue to scramble around trying to make 100 different arrangements thanks to abbreviated summer camp hours.
- I will realize – once again – that I should have provided Maya with a sibling, simply so that she could have built-in entertainment.
- Then I’ll realize – once again – that in that case I’d have to scramble around making arrangements for TWO kids.
- At some point I’ll exhaust my contact list and will beg Ali to watch Maya so I can actually go to work.
Here’s what I also know about summer: it doesn’t affect my husband in the least. He doesn’t worry about calendars and schedules. He doesn’t worry about alternate arrangements or coordination of any kind.
If I wasn’t so busy making arrangements I might have time to find Ali’s Computer Lab funny.
As a matter of fact, he continues to do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants.
So why does he get away with this? That’s what I want to know.
10 bics
All I ever really wanted when I was a kid was a mechanical pencil. But my father refused to buy me a mechanical pencil.
I have no idea why.
In keeping with the fact that history repeats itself, Maya demanded a mechanical pencil last week. And so of course I refused to buy her a mechanical pencil.
I have no idea why.
But whereas I kept my mouth shut and listened to my father, Maya had other plans. And her passive-aggressive comments were difficult to ignore.
“If I had a mechanical pencil I wouldn’t have to waste time standing in front of the trash can, sharpening these dumb old pencils.” Insert dramatic sigh.
She was right and I knew it. And yet I found myself quoting something straight out of my dad’s repertoire, “You are lucky to have a pencil.” Then I stood in front of the trashcan sharpening dozens of Maya’s No. 2’s, just to make a point. (get it?)
But just when I was about launch into Lecture 15.1b of Section 8 of the Indian parenting handbook, I had several epiphanies:
- Homework Time with Maya is torture enough. There is no need to make it worse.
- I have 100 better things to do than to sharpen Maya’s pencils.
- It’s okay to give in to Maya if it makes my life easier.
- Everything doesn’t have to be about the principal of the matter.
- Indian parents don’t always have the best approach.
10 new Bic pencils for $2.99? I’m going to call this my best investment ever.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 