FANCY THAT FANCY THIS

Maya got her braces today. But don’t worry, this isn’t a post about that!

(This also isn’t a post about the fact that I could buy a first class around-the-world ticket for the price of Maya’s braces. I’ll save that for another day.)

A trip to Toronto….pre-braces but smack in the middle of my fractured foot.

No, this post highlights the text exchange that occurred between my husband and I, while he was at Maya’s appointment.

Ali: “The orthodontist asked me to wait outside.”

Me: “Maybe you’re making him nervous?”

Ali: “No way. I only focus my energy to agitate you and nobody else.”

Me: “Well at least you give it your all.”

Ali: “Absolutely. This is the one thing I don’t half ass.”

I hobbled with my broken foot to take this picture near the CN Tower. Just couldn’t find the energy to go any further.

The takeaway: My husband admittedly have asses everything except when it comes to agitating me. At which point he gives 110%.

So while this isn’t the most interesting thing that’s happened since my last post over a month ago (Highlights – a broken foot, a trip to Toronto, Maya and Ali buying a pull up mechanism that attractively hangs over the door frame) it certainly is the most enlightening.

And probably the most hilarious.

I love London. I love everything about London.

Except the prices (although I guess I can’t complain about the current exchange rate).

Tea Time. With lots of scones. And jam. And butter.

And the fact that the drizzle sometimes never seems to end (which means my hair is even more uncontrollable than usual.)

Oh, and the fact that Ali and Maya help out EVEN LESS than they do in NYC.

Maya was reunited with her dog Brooklyn.

Not sure why they think that being in London gives them a free pass, but they do.

They throw their stuff everywhere, they don’t put their dishes away, they expect me to do laundry every 5 minutes, and at one point I even scraped something sketchy off the kitchen floor.

(Nobody took responsibility for the sketchy item so this is still a mystery.)

They entertained each other for HOURS. It was phenomenal.

Ali and Maya left a day earlier than me (somehow the three of us are never on the same flight). This led to me embarking on another fury of laundry, cleaning, and organizing.

And after the dust settled, and I sat back to enjoy the quiet and very orderly flat, all I could think about was the fact that I actually missed them.

So I guess I can’t live with them, but can’t live without them?

I don’t spend much money on clothes, shoes, makeup, purses, or my hair (which is evident).

This is because all of my money goes towards flight change fees.

Last week I changed my return flight from LAX to JFK twice. First from Wednesday to Saturday, and then from the red eye to an afternoon flight.

I obviously like to have options.

LA Lunch @ Frida’s: Tableside guacamole. One of the few things I miss about LA is the fabulous Mexican food.

Also, I was flying solo, so I figured why not live on the wild side and actually take a daytime flight so I could catch up on a few movies? After all, if I wasn’t on Maya-barf-patrol, I could relax, right?

Well this brilliant plan turned my 5 hour flight into an 11 hour flight as we circled the skies around JFK for hours, for reasons still unknown to me. And then we ended up landing in Philadelphia because we had no more fuel to circle the skies around JFK.

At lunch…moments after Maya dropped watermelon juice all over my white jacket. Which is no longer a white jacket, but now a white and pink jacket.

But here’s the worst part: As we sat on the tarmac at Philadelphia for what seemed like an eternity, the kid in the seat in front of me threw up EVERYTHING HE’D EVER EATEN.

Also for what seemed like an eternity.

And as any person with Emetophobia (intense fear of vomiting) knows, the only thing worse than seeing/listening to your vomit-prone child throwing up, is seeing/listening to someone else’s vomit-prone child throwing up.

Especially while stuck on a plane on the tarmac in Philadelphia.

Back in NY. Love it here but the humidity is KILLING our hair.

We are getting on another red-eye tonight to London, and for the first time in a long time I am not making a SINGLE change to our flight. This is in hopes that I can get through the trip without seeing or hearing vomit.

FROM ANYONE.

Wish me luck.