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please advise

May 25, 2012

And just as I thought, “Wow. It’s been weeks since I’ve blogged about Ali’s randomness. Could things be looking up?” my phone chimed with a text. From my husband.

Now before I dissect this text, let me just acknowledge that I received it close to 5:00 pm. Yes, this means that not only did Ali remember to pick Maya up from after school care, but he picked her up 30 minutes early!

So a part of me is grateful. Grateful that my husband heeded my desperate pleas for help with our child. Grateful that I had a few extra hours at work to catch up. Grateful that for once it was Ali who had to juggle his laptop and Maya’s filthy, germ-ridden backpack.

The grateful side of me told me not to address the text. To just let it go. But the bitchy side of me insisted that time is at a minimum these days and good blog fodder is hard to come by.

So here we go.

“Please advise?” I know it’s a bit late but yes, please allow me to advise:

  • I made pappardelle at 6:15 in the morning to ensure that Maya would eat properly.
  • So no, Maya cannot have her four-day-old leftovers from Cheesecake Factory.
  • And no, she cannot have snacks. She doesn’t need a snack when dinner is available.
  • Also, I informed you of point 1 above prior to us leaving for work, so that I wouldn’t receive a text message from you about this very topic.
  • And finally, just because Maya demands something, that doesn’t mean you actually have to give it to her.
No is no. Not sure why this is so tricky?
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82 Comments leave one →
  1. May 25, 2012 2:46 am

    Tricky sure is. But if it is a weekend then it is okay, no?

  2. May 25, 2012 3:54 am

    Well. At least she’s excited to eat dinner. Whatever it may be. I believe at that age, I had standoffs with my mom at the dinner table. Daily.

    I was such a brat. A malnourished one at that.

    • May 25, 2012 1:32 pm

      I was the same way! Luckily I don’t give Maya an inch so she usually eats what I give her. It’s when Ali’s involved where we have a problem…

  3. May 25, 2012 4:55 am

    What the message really says is this: “I know you already told me all this, but I’m gonna ask again, just to be sure. I did what you said and told her to eat the pasta you made but it’s not working!!! She’s still asking!!! We are lost without your infinite wisdom and guidance!”

    • May 25, 2012 1:33 pm

      That is the most perfect translation. Especially the “wisdom and guidance” part. 🙂

  4. May 25, 2012 5:37 am

    I really don’t think men speak the same language as women. 😉

  5. May 25, 2012 5:50 am

    Because girls have men wrapped around their finger – Plus, you can’t say no to maya..she’s too cute 😉

    • May 25, 2012 1:33 pm

      Yes, this seems to be Ali’s problem! And Maya knows it.

  6. May 25, 2012 6:20 am

    Now, we know who wears the pants in this house. 😉

  7. May 25, 2012 6:28 am

    “please advise” oh that cracks me right up.

    • May 25, 2012 1:34 pm

      My co-worker and I were laughing at that part too. Because I naturally had to share the text with her as well!

  8. May 25, 2012 7:40 am

    I’m so glad you included a link for papperdelle because I had no idea.

    You should have just responded with the ambiguous “please do the needful.”

    • May 25, 2012 1:35 pm

      That is the BEST response. I am going to use this uniformly now.

  9. May 25, 2012 7:55 am

    Ah Ali kills me, What the heck!! You made the pasta at 6:15am, gez!!! That accounts for a lot. I agree with you last point, you can not give a child everything she wants. Arrh she’s to cute though lol

    • May 25, 2012 1:36 pm

      I made pasta at the crack of dawn to avoid any issues. I guess I failed on many accounts!

  10. May 25, 2012 7:56 am

    he just wants to make you happy, ameena!!! and maya too. like a puppy.

    • May 25, 2012 1:36 pm

      He sure does. And I should appreciate that. But it’s hard!!

  11. May 25, 2012 8:33 am

    Well, at least he asked first, even though he apparently couldn’t remember from earlier in the day. My experience is that all men have the same problem. No memory whatsoever. They must be thinking about sports or sex or something when we talk to them…thus they are only pretending to listen but their thoughts are clearly elsewhere. Such a shame, really.

    • May 25, 2012 1:37 pm

      Such a shame is right. But really, this comment made me laugh out loud!!

  12. May 25, 2012 8:37 am

    I am sad to think this is not just limited to the earlier years. I plan out food for the little man only to find that half the time, people just feed him what they want. So I guess there’s a plus to being asked to advise? 🙂

    • May 25, 2012 1:44 pm

      Oh yes…I remember those days! A little sip of tea here, a little scoop of ice cream there…it used to drive me bananas!

  13. Alina permalink
    May 25, 2012 8:57 am

    I love that your iPhone name for your husband is “ICE”.

    • wendy permalink
      May 25, 2012 10:26 am

      @ Alinea. “ICE” stands for in case of emergency. So the emergency crew calls her husband if something happens. I suggest everyone has an ICE in their phone.

    • May 25, 2012 1:45 pm

      I learned this one from my mom! I totally recommend having an ICE in your phone as well.

  14. May 25, 2012 9:12 am

    That is how a dad reacts. And little girls know exactly how to wind them round their little fingers 🙂

  15. May 25, 2012 9:13 am

    1. Ice? …interesting. 😛
    2. The “please advise” part was priceless. At least he asked your thoughts?
    3. I’m not sure I know exactly what pappardelle is, so clearly Maya should feel fantastic getting to eat such a thing that to me sounds gourmet.
    4. Is this the first time he has picked her up?

    • May 25, 2012 1:46 pm

      ICE = in case of emergency….you should have one on your phone as well Jenna!

      And Ali rarely picks Maya up. Although he’s become better about it these days, as my hours at work get longer!

  16. The Mom Chef permalink
    May 25, 2012 9:30 am

    Because he’s a dad. Dads are supposed to give in. Mine did. All the time. Hubby does just about as much. It’s their job, especially on the little stuff like that. (I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt.)

    • May 25, 2012 1:46 pm

      Ha. My dad NEVER gave in. Ever. So I guess I’m in the minority here…I should have more tolerance?

      • The Mom Chef permalink
        May 25, 2012 3:41 pm

        Yeah…it’s their job. They’ll think you’re mean and that the world revolves around dad.

  17. wendy permalink
    May 25, 2012 10:21 am

    I know what you mean. Men can’t do anything on their own. I send texts laying out the plan for the day and then I will still get a text asking me what to do as if I never send the plan to begin with. Also they are weak when it comes to their little girls and easily give in to their demands or better yet, say ” mommy told me you can’t have or do this”. And we then are the bad cops. Lmao. Good luck. Its never gonna change. Speaking from experience. Xoxoxo

    • May 25, 2012 1:48 pm

      Oh Wendy…I can’t tell you how many of my carefully thought out plans were ignored. And make no mistake…I am the bad cop every second of the day!

  18. May 25, 2012 10:25 am

    Oh Ali 🙂
    I’m surprised he asked and just didn’t do whatever…
    Happy Friday/wknd lady!!

    Katie

  19. May 25, 2012 10:35 am

    I just loved that he actually wrote “please advise” as though this was a work-related inquiry. Hilarious!

  20. May 25, 2012 11:31 am

    My husband would have just given the kids the four-day-old cheesecake pasta.

    Unless it was a Friday and he thought he might get sex.

    Then the kids are screwed. (Ironic, no?)

  21. Piya permalink
    May 25, 2012 1:12 pm

    haha. at least you got a text to ‘advise’. i come home to a toddler full of doritos and chocolate ice cream even if dinner is completely ready and on the stove!! what is it with men…they can’t say no!?!!? if i ask my husband why he allowed her to eat doritos, his answer is ‘because she said she wanted them!”

    • May 25, 2012 1:51 pm

      When Ali doesn’t seek advice via text message he is capable of such an action and comment. To which I would answer, “And if she wanted to step off the balcony would you allow her to?”

      To which I would receive a blank stare!

  22. May 25, 2012 3:20 pm

    Ooh.. i love pasta from cheesecake factory too… lol. Especially the appetizer fried mac and cheese, omg. delicious. it’s nice to see that you’re boss, at least he consults with you on these things. 🙂

    • May 26, 2012 6:17 pm

      The pasta from Cheesecake is rather tasty…not sure what they do to their marinara but it’s amazing!

  23. May 25, 2012 4:15 pm

    haha, at first I was wondering what type of pasta was made from cheesecake!

  24. May 25, 2012 9:32 pm

    I love the ‘please advise’ 🙂 ha ha!!!! I do love the pasta at cheesecake factory- so I can see why your daughter would want it– but I’m sure what you prepared was so much healthier and better 🙂

    • May 26, 2012 6:17 pm

      Not sure if it was better but it was definitely healthier. 🙂

  25. sana permalink
    May 25, 2012 11:25 pm

    listen- “please advise” cracks me up. sounds like he is asking a boss ;)( or work colleague ) for information. Ismail will send emails to me with stuff he thinks I would find interesting starting with “FYI” and I get so mad. I feel the appropriate way to address it to me should be” My darling beautiful wife. Since the sole purpose of my existence is to make you smile, I came across this article /photo and thought you may enjoy it.Therefore I am passing it along. Hope it made you smile! Love always, Ismail” I have asked him to do this, and he actually looked perturbed. BAH Please Advise….

    • May 26, 2012 6:18 pm

      Ha. I can barely get a hello in person, never mind a hello on email/text. It’s straight to business Sana!!

      Just FYI. 🙂

  26. May 25, 2012 11:33 pm

    Yeah, this is pretty funny for sure. “Ali, no is no, just keep telling yourself that and one day you will be the boss.” hahahahahahaha! Your husband cracks me up. But, some similar things are happening in our home. The other day not just one but a few of my kids came to me and said, “we are tired of asking dad questions and having him tell us to come to you.” I went straight to the subject, (husband) and said, “what’s this all about.” He said, “well, you’re with them all day long and sometimes I feel like I just don’t have the answers.” Hmmmmm. “Answers to what,” I say. He says, “well like, whether or not they can have a snack after dinner.” I then said, “if you don’t think they should then they shouldn’t, if you think they should, then let them.” 🙂 Sometimes men can be…funny? 🙂 He’s the best, he just wants to do the right thing… by me…I’m guessing Ali too. 🙂

    Funny as usual Ameena, love it,

    Shauna

    • May 26, 2012 6:20 pm

      You are smart to go straight to the source. But at least your source answers you. I usually get a blank look when I try to address such things…or I get a text. 🙂

  27. May 26, 2012 12:15 am

    Methinks like this reeks of bein a pass the buck situation. By getting you to text that Maya can’t have the cheesecake pasta, he then has physical evidence to show Maya that it was mom, not dad, denying her what she wanted…

    • May 26, 2012 6:20 pm

      So true. And now that she can read this makes perfect sense!

      • May 28, 2012 12:45 am

        Hehe. Next time you maybe you should text back “maya, your dad says to eat the pasta your mom made”.:)

  28. May 26, 2012 4:32 am

    Hahaha “Please advise”, Ali is too funny (and nice) for his own good. And interesting about the ICE – although I’m pretty sure in an Arab country they would just look through for Mama/Baba/last dialed numbers!

    • May 26, 2012 6:21 pm

      Mama/Baba….I love it. Over here people might not even bother to look for anything! Not even ICE. They’d just keep going on their merry way… 🙂

  29. May 26, 2012 6:46 am

    My husband gives in all the time.
    And he always asks for direction…which is genius…because he’ll tell my son…well mommy said no…so now I look like the bad guy.
    Men are a lot smarter than we think they are.

    • May 26, 2012 6:23 pm

      You are one of many commenters who pointed this out…such a good point. So I guess now I have to open my eyes and see through Ali’s texts??

  30. May 26, 2012 12:34 pm

    At least he indicated his need for direction. Hence the “please advise”.

    • May 26, 2012 6:23 pm

      But I did direct him! At 6:15 am. Maybe next time I should just text him?

  31. May 26, 2012 10:49 pm

    well look at the brighter side, atleast ali asks u for advice before doing something… 🙂

    • May 29, 2012 7:46 am

      I only wish he’d listen to my advice the first time around. 🙂

  32. May 27, 2012 6:01 pm

    LOL, “please advise” – priceless 🙂

  33. May 27, 2012 11:48 pm

    “Please advise” – love it. That’s uttered a lot in our household also and sometimes I wonder if I am the sole parent.

  34. May 28, 2012 9:36 am

    I think my favorite part of the whole thing is the “please advise.” That’s what I say to suppliers at work when they mess something up and I don’t feel like coming up with a proper explanation. 🙂

    • May 29, 2012 7:47 am

      At work this phrase is acceptable. At home? It’s just strange!

  35. May 28, 2012 10:41 am

    lol – sorry I side with your husband here on this one. I would have done JUST the same thing!

  36. anywherethereisanairport permalink
    May 28, 2012 10:56 am

    I will give Ali 1 point for asking – instead of just giving in to Maya… but as for the clear instructions that I know were given (and obviously not remembered) at the beginning of the day… I have nothing to add. Honestly, I am continually baffled by the amount of knowledge men can keep in their heads (for mine – history, dates, the names of every king of any country…ever…) and yet he forgets what I told him yesterday. Why. WHHHHYYYY!!!!???

    • May 29, 2012 7:48 am

      Well, as others pointed out, he didn’t give in to Maya because he blamed the whole thing on me. 🙂

  37. May 28, 2012 7:37 pm

    Ohh the silly things they do… the husbands and the kids. haha.

  38. May 30, 2012 5:12 am

    I guess I am the only exception. In my house, its my husband who refuses. And my son listens to him and only when he doesnt listen, my husband says “Amma said no.”

  39. May 31, 2012 7:07 pm

    Ha ha ha! So hard to get two parents on the same page.

  40. Gayatri permalink
    June 6, 2012 4:10 pm

    Haha! You cooked at 6:15 am? You really are superwoman.

    • June 8, 2012 8:45 am

      I know I’m not superwoman but I like to pretend that I am. 🙂

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