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May 1, 2012

I love to say that I don’t care what anybody thinks about me…but we all know that’s kind of a lie. So I’ll admit to wondering what certain people think about me. It annoys me that I care but I do. And some things just can’t be helped.

Anyway, that’s why I’m impressed when I come across someone who really doesn’t care what people think. And Ali? He’s one of them.

Last week, for example, my husband wore his classy Virgin America earphones while we enjoyed an afternoon at the park (read: we made Maya run laps to burn off her sugar high). As far as I could see, Ali was not listening to music, wasn’t watching a video of any sort, and if cheap gray plastic earphones were part of a new fashion craze I’d apparently missed the memo.

As I watched Ali from afar, seemingly oblivious to the odd stares he was receiving, I wondered why he had no problem bearing a very strong likeness to Cuba Gooding Jr. in Radio. And of course I couldn’t help but point out the resemblance. But my husband couldn’t have cared less.

Now if the tables had been turned and Ali had said something about what I was wearing, I would have immediately:

  1. Resented his comment.
  2. Believed his comment.
  3. Felt hideous until I could have taken said item off.
  4. Given away said item.

As we drove home from the park, my mind continued to process the situation. At which point Ali randomly threw me a bone. “I wore them because it was cold and they kept my ears from hurting.”

Is my husband out of his mind? Of course. But a tiny part of me has to admire the fact that he doesn’t care that I think so.

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117 Comments leave one →
  1. May 1, 2012 12:25 am

    LOVE this!!!! He sounds like my hubby!! 🙂

    I’ve missed your blog- so glad to be reading you again.

  2. May 1, 2012 1:11 am

    It’s nice not to care what people think. Maybe Ali can loan you some of his nonchalance:)
    I think I vacillate wildly between feeling like I don’t care(went hiking in the most incongruous outfit complete with a massive tattered men’s shirt to keep the sun off and a terrificly dorky straw hat, also to ward off skin cancer), and caring way too much…

    • May 1, 2012 5:53 pm

      I do the same…I’m not sure why I can’t find a middle ground?

      • May 1, 2012 11:39 pm

        I think my level of caring has to do with who it is I’m in contact with. My hiking friends? They’ll take me as I come. But then it comes time to make the occasional trip to Whole Foods and I feel like I must be inferior to all the perfectly-unperfectly groomed people shopping there…

      • May 3, 2012 7:26 pm

        I agree…Whole Foods is not a place to go when one doesn’t feel they look their best…

  3. May 1, 2012 1:47 am

    I’m a little like Ali in my habits. Like Ali, I couldn’t care less what someone thought of me, what I was doing or wearing. If they stopped to ask me, I’d make them sing HALALOOLIA to the ducks in the park in total pain.

    I wonder, other than what Ali was wearing – what ‘exactly’ is he looking at?

    • May 1, 2012 5:54 pm

      He was watching Maya running around! She’s shifty thing…we have to watch her every move.

  4. Lady Jennie permalink
    May 1, 2012 3:02 am

    I’m jealous. I care way too much what other people think. Luckily my husband doesn’t care either – it balances things out.

    • Lady Jennie permalink
      May 1, 2012 3:03 am

      On the flipside, I had to completely reinvent his wardrobe when we started dating.

    • May 1, 2012 5:54 pm

      Isn’t the wardrobe reinvention just mandatory? I feel like it is.

  5. May 1, 2012 3:09 am

    Oh how I loved this post!!! Like you, i am one of those who care what other people think. And I care way too much about what S thinks about me. I know it is sad but then it is true as well 😦

    • May 1, 2012 5:55 pm

      At least we can admit our problem…just not sure how to solve it!

  6. May 1, 2012 4:40 am

    Loved this post! I love that Ali didn’t care and did what he needed to to stay warm! To a point, I’m the same way, but there are times when I let my caring of what others may or may not be thinking get to me.

    • May 1, 2012 5:56 pm

      The funny thing is that most people probably aren’t thinking of us at all! And it’s just our imagination running wild…

  7. May 1, 2012 4:46 am

    Haha…as someone with ears that are very sensitive to cold, I appreciate Ali’s choice 🙂 And I think he looks kind of cool… 🙂

    • May 1, 2012 5:56 pm

      Ali will be thrilled to have someone who understands the necessity of ear protection!

  8. May 1, 2012 5:02 am

    I love this!! Too funny!

  9. May 1, 2012 5:55 am

    Haha.. I love it. Sounds like my husband. It’s probably because they’re men… 🙂
    They’re very resourceful and practical, though not necessarily fashion-forward..

    • May 1, 2012 5:57 pm

      Ali usually isn’t resourceful so maybe this is a turning point? 🙂 One can hope.

  10. May 1, 2012 6:40 am

    I would like just for one day to not care what people think,however, I think my head would explode from the sheer freedom of that type of existence.

    • May 1, 2012 5:57 pm

      I know exactly what you mean. What will I do with all that extra time on my hands?

  11. May 1, 2012 7:05 am

    awesome post Ameena.. 😀

  12. May 1, 2012 7:34 am

    The real test: buy him some earmuffs for the next coldish day and see if he actually wears them.

    • May 1, 2012 5:58 pm

      Actually, this is what I can buy him the next time I can’t think of anything! Perfect.

  13. May 1, 2012 8:09 am

    this is so funny. love that he doesn’t care and used the headphones. there are times i’m sitting at home on a weekend, not showered – i know, and my hair is frizzy curly and in a bun, and my husband has told me many times to wear a headband or a scarf to tame it, but i’m like whatever. i guess cause when you have to look nice, you can, and when you’re home, it’s okay to look like crap. i also think the older i’ve gotten, i’ve just learned to accept things (my hair) that i cannot change.
    🙂 good post.

    • May 1, 2012 5:58 pm

      I really don’t care what I look like when I’m at home either. It’s sweats and ponytails all the way!

      PS: You have good hair. I’ve seen it!

  14. May 1, 2012 8:17 am

    Get him a pair of pink hello kitty earmuffs. Or better yet, get him one of those Dr. Dre headphones. In bright orange.

    p.s. I like his hoodie. ^_^

    • May 1, 2012 5:59 pm

      He uses Maya’s Hello Kitty blanket so I think he’d wear the HK earmuffs without hesitation…

  15. May 1, 2012 8:25 am

    he is hilarious.

  16. May 1, 2012 8:25 am

    hahaha new birthday gift idea: furry earmuffs to ‘keep his ears warm’

    • May 1, 2012 6:00 pm

      I can’t ever think of what to get him so this is perfect!

  17. May 1, 2012 8:51 am

    To be blissfully uncaring about other folks opinions. I’d love that. On the other hand it may not work out in your favor all the time because he may or may not listen to your opinion on anything!!! Definitely not the coolest in terms of fashion accessories but functional. you gotta give him that. I get so cold I’d probably do the same if that was all I had avail!

    • May 1, 2012 6:00 pm

      If I had said, “Ali, take those off right now, you look ridiculous!” He would have. But I was feeling generous. Or confused. Not sure…

  18. May 1, 2012 8:58 am

    Love it!

  19. May 1, 2012 9:05 am

    Oh that’s awesome, opposites attracts and I hope he grounds you a little too. Can you imagine how tough it would be if he cared as much as you? You would never leave the house scrutinizing every pattern, threat and stitch. This way you always look AWESOME, when asked.

    • May 1, 2012 6:01 pm

      Yes I think we balance each other out in this instance…but I still do wish I cared SO much less about what others think.

  20. May 1, 2012 9:06 am

    I love to be like Ali! JUST DON”T CARE! LOL!

  21. tandra permalink
    May 1, 2012 9:14 am

    Both me and my husband are ” we don’t care what others think” regarding deeper and bigger issues in life…but when it comes to simple day to day stuff, my husband is quite conscious but I am the opposite, I almost always carry the attitude that I give a damn…most of the times it works, but sometimes it backfires too !!!..
    Loved reading this entry though…-)

    • May 1, 2012 6:02 pm

      Tandra…please share your secret…how do I not care what others think??

      • tandra permalink
        May 2, 2012 4:29 pm

        Hehe…LOL…I wish I knew the answer…;-)

  22. The Mom Chef permalink
    May 1, 2012 9:25 am

    Honestly, I think it must be a matter of upbringing. I don’t give a gopher’s patootie what people think of me (99% of the time). Hubby, on the other hand, is very conscious of it.

    That being said, you need to get the man a pair of ear muffs for his birthday. the tackier the better.

  23. May 1, 2012 9:27 am

    I am one of those people that doesn’t put a lot of stock into what others think about me. I wouldn’t have given Ali a second glance, I would have just assumed he was listening to something. My friends already think I am crazy so it’s no surprise that strangers would too.

    • May 1, 2012 6:13 pm

      I suppose that others probably weren’t as curious as I was…maybe because I was too busy wondering what they think?

      My issues know no limits…

  24. May 1, 2012 9:41 am

    HaaHAaaaa, Ali Rocks! I do love a man w/ confidence. Xxx & he’s cute 2

  25. Jessie E. permalink
    May 1, 2012 9:42 am

    Haha! We are so totally alike in this respect, Ameena, and Peter is just like Ali. I’ll spend an exhorbitant amount of time to get ready to go out, and Peter will just stroll on out the door in whatever he was wearing that day. To be so free 🙂

    • May 1, 2012 6:15 pm

      Imagine how much time we’d have if we were like them! To be free is right…

  26. May 1, 2012 9:57 am

    Haha! The picture of Ali has me crying at work – best ever! Forrest tries to wear this hideous top hat and suspenders (?!?!?!!) out every weekend but I won’t allow it. I think it’s just to annoy me…no way he actually WANTS to be seen in that costume.

    • May 1, 2012 6:15 pm

      Suspenders? Really?

      I agree. I think Forrest is just trying to annoy you. 🙂

  27. May 1, 2012 10:23 am

    It’s amazing how he looks so confident, posing with his airline headphones 🙂

  28. May 1, 2012 10:42 am

    That’s funny. You need to buy that man some ear muffs.

    • May 1, 2012 6:16 pm

      I sure do. Not sure why this didn’t occur to me prior to today?

  29. Leah @ Why Deprive? permalink
    May 1, 2012 1:13 pm

    I love this, and I think it’s so great that Ali doesn’t care what anyone thinks. That takes some serious self confidence, and you’ve gotta admire that. I like to think I’ve found a happy medium. I care and I don’t at the same time.

    • May 1, 2012 6:17 pm

      I do admire that about Ali…and kudos to you for finding your happy medium. I wish I could say the same…

  30. May 1, 2012 1:20 pm

    Haha, the fact that he was wearing plastic on his head to try and warm himself up is amazing. Sigh, men are hilarious. Next time you should get him a headset and he can pretend he works at the Gap. That should reduce the numbers of stares he gets…

  31. May 1, 2012 1:56 pm

    I could say the same thing about my own husband, he does not care of what others think about him. So, did you ask him about the earphones or did he decide to clarify himself after seeing the jumbling thoughts in your mind (which I think you did not vocalize)?

    Its been so long since I commented, but now that I have graduated (yay!), I can be a regular 🙂

    • May 1, 2012 6:18 pm

      He randomly decided to vocalize…I think he could feel the confusion in my head.

      And congratulations on graduating! I’m so happy for you!

  32. Sam @ Mom At The Barre permalink
    May 1, 2012 5:50 pm

    My ears are always cold. I’m going to try this tip!

    • May 1, 2012 6:19 pm

      I can send some of our earphone stash your way if you are interested Sam!

  33. May 1, 2012 5:58 pm

    Love it. I can see my husband doing the same! He runs with a pair of shorts with paint all over and I’m always a little embarrassed for him -but he could care less!

    • May 1, 2012 6:19 pm

      Shorts with paint aren’t too offensive. Not like cheap plastic gray earphones in the middle of Los Angeles in April!

  34. May 1, 2012 6:42 pm

    Oh how i wish i could be more like Ali, I agree those earphones are little too much 😛 but he’s awesomely rocking it

  35. May 1, 2012 6:53 pm

    Haha oh gosh! At least he’s pretty resourceful 🙂
    I’m totally w/ you on your response had the tables been turned. I care wayyyy too much about what others think…so silly really.
    Another fun post lady 🙂

    Katie

    • May 3, 2012 7:27 pm

      Thank you my friend! I appreciate your comment as always…

  36. Rufina permalink
    May 1, 2012 6:58 pm

    Good one Ameena. Look at the common chord struck among all these commenters! I am also married to a man who does not CARE one bit about what people think. He takes things to the extreme. If someone comes knocking at our door and we are not expecting anyone, he will not answer it. Something about the house being a castle and a sanctuary… Same thing goes for a ringing phone. People who visit us often stare in amazement as we just let the phone ring and ring, without getting up…kind of crazy, I know. But its the age of overload in which we live that forces us to be this way. Ali must be similar in that he is able to filter out what is important and what is not.

    • May 3, 2012 7:28 pm

      I used to think that a phone must be answered NO MATTER WHAT. I feel so liberated now that I know it’s okay not to answer it! I don’t think you are crazy at all…

  37. May 1, 2012 9:34 pm

    That is hilarious! Though, it sort of makes sense because I rarely see men with ear warmers on. And, when I do, I think they look odd.

    • May 3, 2012 7:29 pm

      In an odd way it sort of does make sense. It’s just his approach is so strange…

  38. May 1, 2012 11:09 pm

    I can totally relate to this post. As much as I am self conscious my husband could care less about what others might think of him. I have always related my being self -conscious to my low levels of confidence at times. Nice to be back commenting on your blog after a long time..

    • May 3, 2012 7:30 pm

      Nice to see you back commenting Gayathri! And I struggle with the confidence thing sometimes so I know where you are coming from.

  39. May 2, 2012 3:23 am

    Do you think it’s a male thing? And does it apply to lots of areas or just fashion/what he wears? I sort of think he can pull off the earphones as accessory, maybe. So intrigued.

    • May 3, 2012 7:31 pm

      In general Ali doesn’t care what people think. Unless they feel his gadgets/TV/car are inferior in any way. Then his defenses are UP!

  40. May 2, 2012 3:23 am

    Hahah when it’s cold nothing seems to matter, fashionable or not…and UGGS are proof of that :)! Hope your week is going well!

    • May 3, 2012 7:31 pm

      So true…Uggs really are hideous and yet so awesome at the same time!

  41. Deeps @ Naughty Curry permalink
    May 2, 2012 5:45 am

    how i wish i was that way…. have all the admiration fr ppl like that who really dont give a damn what others think, makes life so much more easier wthout all the worry and tension

    • May 3, 2012 7:31 pm

      Exactly. Ali is tensed and worried about things that matter but not about what people think!

  42. May 2, 2012 8:40 am

    Hi5 to your husband!
    He and i pretty much same!
    Btw, nice blog mademoissle!! 🙂

  43. May 2, 2012 8:59 am

    I wish my hubby & I were like this. Sometimes he doesn’t care, but in an adamant/arrogant way – not in a cool and confident way like Ali. And me? I usually am tough (or pretend to be?) on the outside but it does affect my emotional self inside. I’m like a coconut.
    And from your posts that I’ve read so far, I love how Ali responds, hehe … just enough and to the point.
    Love this post too! 🙂

    • May 3, 2012 7:33 pm

      “Like a coconut.” Perfect way to describe me!

      And thank you for the compliment Nisha.

  44. Andrea @ The Skinny Chronicles permalink
    May 2, 2012 9:55 am

    Last weekend I caught my husband roaming the golf course in plaid shorts and a clashing t-shirt (with holes)…and bed head. He seemed perfectly happy.

    Totally weird.

    • May 3, 2012 7:33 pm

      I think that men’s t-shirts just have holes in them as a requirement. Ali’s are the same way!

  45. May 2, 2012 5:06 pm

    It’s wonderful if u have a man who doesn’t care what others think…

    Then it can be a curse too…

  46. May 2, 2012 7:12 pm

    I’m not sure if it kills me more that we take such comments to heart or that we feel such an intense need to purge the offending item.

    On that note, for the first year that we were dating, Marcus wore tapered jeans, shirts sized one size too large and Champion brand tennis shoes. He was just, you know, living the life.

    • May 3, 2012 7:34 pm

      I used to have Champion tennis shoes! I still have my good old Champion shorts. But I see where you are coming from my friend…the tapered jeans? Just No Good.

  47. May 3, 2012 4:23 am

    I think its a ‘man’ thing 🙂

  48. May 3, 2012 7:13 am

    This made me laugh. LOL. I’m like you and my husband is like Ali. He just doesn’t care. 🙂

  49. May 3, 2012 8:30 am

    love it. funny

  50. May 3, 2012 9:48 am

    Maybe he was going for the retro look?

    • May 3, 2012 7:36 pm

      Even “retro” would frown on these earphones I think.

  51. May 3, 2012 11:35 am

    Look! The 80s are back!

    • May 3, 2012 7:36 pm

      Should I pull out my Flashdance sweater? Then we would make a cute pair…

  52. gayatri5 permalink
    May 3, 2012 3:09 pm

    Haha! Ali is hilarious (in a good way). But I know what you mean. My husband doesn’t care what people think at all. He wears the most hideous shirts and sweaters whenever we go out. He once wore a sweater with shorts because his arms were cold. I was in shock for 2 days.

    • May 3, 2012 7:37 pm

      A sweater with shorts? I’ve seen much, much worse. Consider yourself lucky my friend!

  53. anywherethereisanairport permalink
    May 3, 2012 4:50 pm

    Oh Ameena! I have missed you… and your posts! I am stateside again. And just beginning to feel sane. 🙂

    I have no doubt the Spaniard will… well… look like a complete Spaniard right here in the U.S.A. Tight pants and all. He could care less what others think. Admirable and annoying.

    As for everything else I have missed: 1) I hope Ali gets a new car. If only so you can keep your important appointments. 2) Your deal with Maya should be “you can have a bigger closet when you can type 20 words a minute.” Then she is half way there to qualifying to fly on Malaysia Air.

    🙂

    • May 3, 2012 7:39 pm

      “Tight pants and all.” I love it.

      Before you know it he’ll be sporting some Gap’s best relaxed fit jeans. And until then my thoughts are with you. 🙂

      So nice to read your comments again! Welcome back to the USA!

  54. May 4, 2012 12:37 am

    Funny! I think for the most part I do a good job of not caring what anyone thinks because the people who matter most take me for who I am, flaws and all. I guess like you I get curious, but in the long run, I suppose it doesn’t matter at all what anyone thinks except those close to me. Have a great Friday!

  55. raelyb permalink
    May 16, 2012 9:21 am

    If we were all more like Ali, we’d probably be more happier!

  56. July 5, 2012 10:51 am

    Oooh this is too funny! My LOL moment of the day.

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