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social cue(less)

May 23, 2011

Do you know someone who is clueless when it comes to picking up on social cues? I do. His name is Ali Din.

It was Friday morning and I was patting myself on the back for being so organized – I was packing Maya’s lunch box, testing her on her spelling words, and loading the dishwasher with my third arm when I decided, stupidly, to cook up a batch of calzones for dinner as well.

And that’s when it happened: A glass jar of turmeric fell out of my hands, onto the kitchen floor, and shattered EVERYWHERE.

Have you ever worked with turmeric? No? Well it makes every single thing it comes in contact with yellow. I wanted to cry because not only was there a mountain of yellow all over my pristine granite floor, but there was also a piece of glass in my foot AND my once pretty gray sweater was now a work of unintentional color blocking.

Do you think my clever husband picked up on all that? Nope. Do you think he offered to give me a hand, aside from taking this lovely photo of me scrubbing the floor?

No again. Do you think I was happy about it? Absolutely not. But then again you would know this because you pick up on social cues.

I will say this about Ali: he knows enough to pick up on when he’s no longer welcome. So thanks to Ali’s sudden “business trip” I now have 72 hours to let my anger dissipate and to scrub the kitchen floor.

Let’s hope it’s enough time.

92 Comments leave one →
  1. May 23, 2011 12:46 am

    *sigh* Im of the opinion that sometimes Men just dont get it!

  2. May 23, 2011 1:55 am

    So turmeric goes in your calzones, interesting. I have come to realize that just when you’re using your third arm and feel everything is organized and together something happens. I hope your foot is ok, the floor looks good- what about that sweater? Grey and yellow go well together 🙂

    • May 23, 2011 12:27 pm

      I accidentally put turmeric in the calzones once and since Ali ate them without complaint I realized that turmeric would always make it’s way into my calzones…even if real Italian cooks are shuddering in horror right now.

  3. May 23, 2011 4:01 am

    Why is it that when everything looks perfect in the world, something has to go wrong. Turmeric, that is totally not good, the nastiest spice, color-wise. My apartment kitchen has a typical 1980 white countertop. Couple it with Indian cooking, and you have a very bad combination.

    Seriously Ameena, you and I should meet, we can share notes on how our husbands annoy us 🙂

  4. May 23, 2011 4:33 am

    I hate working with turmeric, you have to be so careful (my counters are white) I don’t even think turmeric has much of a taste. Just a tip: Barkeeper’s Friend is a life saver for such stains. Great floors by the way.
    As for the clueless husband, there is only one acceptable way to deal with him: go shopping and buy another sweater on his card that costs twice as much. This is how you teach men sensitivity LOL.
    *kisses* HH

    • May 23, 2011 12:28 pm

      Thanks for the tip HH – I am going in search of Barkeeper’s Friend today!

    • May 23, 2011 3:27 pm

      WOW! My mom always told me to have Barkeepers around, so I did, but totally forgot why…and she’s gone now- thanks for the tip!

  5. May 23, 2011 5:10 am

    Aww I am cringing for you right now, and making a mental note to avoid turmeric in the future.

  6. May 23, 2011 5:20 am

    I hope your foot is healing and your anger dissipating.

    My husband once became irrationally angry with me over failing to purchase sour cream. It was a huge scene. Later, after we’d talked it through and each apologized, we started using it as a code word for frustration and as a joke. Perhaps yours could be turmeric?

    • May 23, 2011 12:30 pm

      My husband gets irrational about sour cream as well and that’s why we never have baked potatoes at home anymore. How interesting…

  7. May 23, 2011 5:21 am

    Yeah, men can be clueless sometimes. To get my boyfriend to wash his ow dishes, I’ll only wash the ones I use and leave his untouched. After a day or so, he’ll wonder aloud, “Why are all these dishes here?” and then wash them. Hope your mood improves!

    • May 23, 2011 12:31 pm

      Dishes would just keep piling up around here…it goes along with the social cuelessness.

  8. May 23, 2011 5:31 am

    Turmeric is a pain in the butt to cook with – it gets everywhere whether you want it to or not! And although I’m not married yet, I know this very behavior will happen with Vishnu…and it’s going to annoy the crap out of me…sigh…

  9. May 23, 2011 5:32 am


    Somehow you still look so chic scrubbing floors!

  10. May 23, 2011 5:51 am

    Well at least Turmeric smells pretty yummy and fragrant 😉
    Boys and social cues… *sigh*

    Your. Floor. Is. Gorgeous.

  11. May 23, 2011 5:55 am

    Turmeric and curry are the worst! Men are daft sometimes. My husband has now, after 15 years of marriage, finally clued in to when he is going to get the “stare” from me and is getting pretty good at heading it off. My father is the king of clueless husbands and once came home from work to find my mother on the floor coughing after being heimliched by me because she had been choking and my sister and I were crying. My dad, looked at the scene and asked, “so, what are we having for dinner?” Needless to say if you look “clueless man” up in the dictionary you will find a photo of my father.

    • May 23, 2011 12:32 pm

      Wow. Your dad just set the bar to a whole new level. Suddenly things don’t look so bad around here…

      And kudos to know you for knowing the Heimlich Maneuver! That is awesome.

  12. May 23, 2011 6:19 am

    Haha. This reminds me of those videos you see on YouTube where people film their friends doing stunts or something crazy, and then their friend gets hurt and they just keeping rolling the camera and you can hear them laughing in the background. It’s like.. why aren’t they putting down the camera and helping? 😆 I’ll never understand it.

  13. May 23, 2011 6:30 am

    Oh no! I hope your foot’s okay!! I hate dropping things like that, particularly in the morning. A few weeks ago I dropped my oatmeal on the way to the microwave to cook it. That was fun to clean up. I swear there is still oatmeal somewhere under my fridge.

  14. May 23, 2011 6:54 am

    GAH! I would be furious..mostly about the sweater haha. I think perhaps in Ali’s absence, you should make him a lovely color block sweater to know, for all his help 😉

  15. May 23, 2011 7:47 am

    There’s a solution for every problem. I would think yellow diamonds should fix this one.. Karmic justice, et al.

  16. May 23, 2011 7:58 am

    EEEK – Turmeric is a kitchen cleaning nightmare. I did the same this weekend with habanero powder. It was a mess. I kept brooming and getting whiffs in my nose. It wasn’t pretty.

    I hope Ali’s business trip yields you a forgiveness gift!!!

  17. Leslie permalink
    May 23, 2011 8:04 am

    Yikes! That would totally frustrate me. Did Ali’s mother not raise him to help in the kitchen? My grandmother raised my father and my uncle to ALWAYS help out, and ensure the kitchen was spotless. I saw several instances of my father helping to clean, esp if dinner was in the works. He would tell my mother to finish cooking, and he’d take care of it. Oh, Dad, miss you! ((((Leslie’s darling dad)))))

    • May 23, 2011 12:35 pm

      My selfless mother-in-law doesn’t ask anyone to help out in the kitchen, least of all Ali. She is amazing like that. Your dad sounds like an amazing, one-in-a-million man Leslie!

  18. May 23, 2011 8:42 am

    lol a “sudden business trip”?? He better bring you something nice!!
    I accidentally had a glass casserole dish on the stove with the wrong burner lit (I didn’t mean to light the burner under the dish!)…and the dish exploded everywhere! Thank goodness I had my back turned from it, but it was still a disaster. After my boyfriend took pics of the mess he retreated to the living room to text his brother about it while I was cleaning it all up…

    • May 23, 2011 12:37 pm

      Wow, that must have been scary! You are lucky that no glass shards injured you!

      Your bf sounds just like Ali…I’m really sorry.

  19. May 23, 2011 9:45 am

    I love how Ali took the time to snap a picture! Men are so clueless. My husband conveniently waits for me to finish mopping up a mess before he pokes his head in and says,”Need any help?”, knowing fully well that I am done cleaning! It was endearing at first but now it has gotten old! 🙂

  20. May 23, 2011 9:57 am

    Turmeric is my nemesis.

  21. May 23, 2011 11:42 am

    First of all, you have a granite floor?? I’m going to secretly move into one of your empty bedrooms just so I can use your kitchen. I’m surprised Ali didn’t ask if the calzones were ready in the midst of you cleaning, but then I would have personally smacked him.

    • May 23, 2011 12:39 pm

      He might have, except that it was morning when disaster struck. I wouldn’t put it past him though…

  22. May 23, 2011 12:11 pm

    Maybe he’ll bring you back something shiny? Maybe you should text him now with a picture of the exact shiny item and where to purchase it? Just a thought 🙂

  23. May 23, 2011 12:15 pm

    Thats not even an Ali thing, thats a man thing. I’ve had many, many fights with the ex boyfriend over just that. I could be walking from the car carrying 4 heavy bags, the dog, and fumbling with my house keys, and he would never think to offer a hand. Ever. Im pretty sure , the poor girl next door has heard me yelling “dont offer to help or anything” and “dont worry, I’ve got it, wouldnt want you to strain yourself” at least 65 times.

    • May 23, 2011 12:41 pm

      I’ve said these exact same words, countless times. But when I’m sarcastic Ali will just say, why didn’t you just ask me for help? And when someone is cueless how to you explain that any normal person would have jumped right in without an invitation? Isn’t it crazy that I use the number 65 constantly too?

  24. May 23, 2011 12:34 pm

    I have a turmeric stain on my counter tops that I just CANNOT seem to get out, no matter how much I scrub. I don’t think my husband has even noticed. How considerate of Ali to take a picture?!

    • May 23, 2011 6:40 pm

      Have you tried OxyClean? I’m also going to look for Barkeeper now that someone suggested it.

  25. May 23, 2011 12:41 pm

    hahah ooooooooooooooh men. i’m sincerely trying to find the one that does pick up on social cues. such as “i like you and am trying to flirt with you. please respond”

  26. May 23, 2011 2:13 pm

    I love cook with them, but not like to clean the spill on flour or bench. they makes you yellow.

  27. May 23, 2011 3:07 pm

    Seems like a man thing (even from seeing similar stuff happen with my parents). We really are the more conscientious gender by a longggggggshot

  28. May 23, 2011 3:14 pm

    How did you not flip out? Girl I would have yelled and cried at the top of my lungs until the CUE made its way into the elusive man-brain. When that doesn’t work I result to storming off and huffing YOU FIX IT!

    But i’m not a nice person when there’s glass involved. there is a shard that’s been in my foot for at least 3 years b/c he didnt clean up properly the one time he actually broke something.

    grr! sorry love!

  29. May 23, 2011 3:29 pm

    And look – the turmeric turned your cute pink dishwashing gloves yellow! OH NO!

    • May 23, 2011 6:43 pm

      Are you kidding? I broke out my old yellow gloves for this task. I wasn’t going to risk my cute pink ones!!

  30. May 23, 2011 4:16 pm

    Men are so clueless! Or then again, maybe it’s intentional ignorance so they get out of helping. Sigh.

  31. May 23, 2011 4:41 pm

    Hahaha this reminds me of my dad! Although….I think I’m like that sometimes too…eek…

    Hope the stains come out, and if they don’t, another excuse to go shopping 😀

  32. May 23, 2011 5:26 pm

    I wonder if he took a picture of you cleaning it up because he wanted to be on the blog again. Such an attention whore, Ali! hahahhaa just kidding. 😉

    Your floors are sooo pretty! I love them!

  33. May 23, 2011 5:36 pm

    Shaune and Ali may be long lost brothers. After seeing this picture of you, I’m tempted to mimic your eating habits. How enviably thin you are! And tumeric in your calzones? I’m going to have to mention this to Shaune for the next meal he makes us.

    Hope your foot is okay. I agree that sometimes a little space is absolutely necessary. Three days apart? Heavenly:)

    • May 23, 2011 6:42 pm

      Thank you Kim but if you saw some of the bizarre things I eat you might not want to mimic my eating habits after all!

  34. May 23, 2011 5:49 pm

    Oh men..turmeric?! I’m not even sure I knew what that was before this, haha!

  35. May 23, 2011 6:34 pm

    Ahhhhh! If you cook often you are bound to have plenty of mishaps in the kitchen. I’ve actually been meaning to do a post of the most horrific one ever in my life. Stay tuned to my blog. And if it makes you feel better, I finally had to talk to my husband, who usually ‘picks up on my not so subtle hints, that I should not be in the kitchen by myself after dinner is over. I don’t mind cleaning up as much as I mind my kids rudeness in eating and running.

  36. May 23, 2011 6:49 pm

    My husband is good at picking up social cues, but then it means I have to be MAD before he’ll do something. Technically my job is unloading the dishwasher and his is to load. But between the kid and the roommate, sometimes I end up doing both during the day, so the dishes are clean when he’s home. Now, logic would dictate that since there are NO dishes in the sink and there were dishes in the sink in the morning, I had done both of our jobs and kindness would be to do a nice unload, at least.

    Instead he will throw more and more dishes in the sink and allow me to deal with unloading, which often doesn’t happen until the morning, and now we have 3 meals of dishes in the sink, so I have to load again.

    You can see the vicious cycle we’ve entered, right? So when I get super pissed about it, he unloads AND loads, and then wants a big chocolate chip cookie for doing me a favor.

    • May 25, 2011 2:18 pm

      I too have to get MAD before anything happens around here. I hate that because after I get mad I inevitably feel like a bitch and a nag.

  37. May 23, 2011 7:02 pm

    Oh no! I hope your foot is ok, Ameena. Definitely get it checked out if you still feel pain tomorrow. There may still be pieces in there that you may not be able to see. I’ve never used turmeric in my cooking before so I’ve no idea how badly it stains. By reading some of these comments though and your post, seems like it’s pretty bad. Hope you’ll be able to get the stains out. Take care of that foot, sweetie.

  38. May 23, 2011 7:26 pm

    The only time I’ve found glass in my foot was after a particularly rowdy fraternity party. It was from a bottle of Andre. That fact alone should be terribly disturbing.

    I don’t understand what “inaction” gene it is that all men seem to have, but it’s like there’s a point where they just…shut down. Even in the face of chivalrous opportunities.

  39. May 23, 2011 9:39 pm

    Ali in this post totally reminds me of Rajesh from the Big Bang Theory…brilliant but really socially confused. I dealt with my fair share of the socially clueless types at Columbia. Oh wait, I kind of am one of them. Sometimes I seriously have no idea what is going on in a situation. I would much rather read a book than read people. I feel for Ali….

    But I also feel for you! Clearly, a massive turmeric spill ALWAYS calls for sympathy. Everyone knows that, even me. 🙂

  40. May 23, 2011 11:25 pm

    I will remember to be very careful if I ever cook with turmeric! I am so clumsy in the kitchen. I think I am a pretty good cook, but I always make a huge mess. I started a grease fire in my kitchen frying taco shells last week. That was fun…

  41. May 24, 2011 3:34 am

    OUCH!…. thats bad!

  42. May 24, 2011 4:48 am

    Oh no! You poor thing! I would definitely have helped you clean up!

  43. May 24, 2011 6:45 am

    No, couldn’t be thyme or cumin, could it. Turmeric? That’s horrid.

  44. Cindy permalink
    May 24, 2011 7:39 am

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhh your poor foot!

    and your sweater! I’ve gotten tumeric on a few of my sleves…no sure how!

    Ali getting the heck out of dodge is pretty funny!


  45. Cindy permalink
    May 24, 2011 7:39 am

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhh your poor foot!

    and your sweater! I’ve gotten tumeric on a few of my sleves…not sure how!

    Ali getting the heck out of dodge is pretty funny!


  46. May 24, 2011 10:08 am

    once i read TURMERIC…i was like no not HALDI! it doesnt come off!!! lol…

    • May 25, 2011 2:19 pm

      You totally get it! Finally, someone who understands. 🙂

  47. May 24, 2011 10:38 am

    Oh Ali! And now he’s off eating Mc Donald’s for lunch and Flemings for dinner and Starbucks for snacks for the next 72 hours! Men!

  48. May 24, 2011 11:41 am

    This reminds me of how men will sometimes come up and start nuzzling you when you are doing something like washing dishes. NOT a romantic moment!

  49. May 24, 2011 3:42 pm

    I hope your foot is ok, Ameena!!! There’s nothing worse than running around like a madwoman and having something like a broken jar just throw off your whole rhythm (not to mention having it make everything late!). Just last week, I somehow knocked a whole bottle of juice off the counter when I was swinging a grocery bag around and it absolutely exploded! Peter said “Oh, let me bring the dogs outside” and I was there sweeping up all the glass. Yup, men just don’t have to same social cues 😛 Oh, well, next time I get to take the dogs out and Peter picks up glass!! 😉

  50. Ali permalink
    May 24, 2011 5:06 pm

    My photo got sniped… I was planning to use this in another guest post. After all those pictures of me, I finally had a shot at getting her back (multiple puns intended).

  51. May 24, 2011 6:18 pm

    i still have tumeric under my nails from 2 nights ago, yuck! I hope he bring you back flowers!! you deserve it.

  52. May 24, 2011 6:33 pm

    I have spilled tumeric before, and it is a DISASTER. You poor thing! I love how you used those bright yellow gloves though. You saved your hands, thank goodness.

  53. May 24, 2011 9:06 pm

    Men are silly creatures. But geez, of all the spices to drop! Tumeric! My nails took days to look non-fungal after I got some on my hands once.

  54. May 24, 2011 9:35 pm

    Tumeric is really awful to work with, hope you’ve cleared out the stains 🙂

  55. May 25, 2011 7:45 am

    Maybe you should clean topless??? Just saying…he’d pick up on that social cue!

  56. May 25, 2011 8:41 am

    Cleaning turmeric is a nightmare. Just wonder how long it took for you.

    I have to say Ali has such a positive attitude towards life. Just seeing only the good things in life and avoiding all the messy stuff.

    • May 25, 2011 2:21 pm

      You are totally right…I am jealous of Ali’s ability to see the good. That’s why I talk about him so bitterly all the time. 🙂

  57. May 25, 2011 9:53 am

    I just discovered your blog and I just read through aproximately 50% of your posts. you are hilarious, and just so real because I’m sure most women can totally relate! I just moved in with my boyfriend so I am in the very early stages of cohabitation with males, and establishing routines and “roles” has definitely been a struggle in the last few months!

    • May 26, 2011 12:48 pm

      Thank you for the compliment. I wish I could say cohabitation gets easier….but I can’t. 🙂 So I’ll say good luck instead!

  58. May 25, 2011 1:57 pm

    Hey your hubby took the pic when you almost cleaned the floor! So you mean the entire time he was just around and not helping! Well….thats better than my hubby, who would offer help and do something wrong for me to say ‘just go ,ill do it!’

    lol nice floors and turmeric is fabric’s worst ene be very aware next time!

    • May 26, 2011 12:41 pm

      That is exactly right. Although he did point out a few spots I’d missed…one might consider that helping??

  59. May 25, 2011 2:22 pm

    oh dear !!! I know turmeric all around and hubby busy taking photo instead of helping .. it can make one mad MAD but I am sure you are missing him just a little .. if not a lot 🙂

  60. May 25, 2011 7:07 pm

    I hate working with turmeric too, because it stains my dishes and it’s hard to clean them….I feel your pain!

    Anyway, I’m never getting married. So thankfully, no one will be taking pics of me while I’m scrubbing the floor half in tears. By the way, your floor is spotless…you did a good job! 😉

  61. May 26, 2011 7:45 am

    Ah turmeric…it even stains your fingernails, especially the fresh ones! I feel your pain. But on the other hand turmeric is the staple ingredients for Indonesian Indian’s influenced dishes 😀
    Your granite floor looks gorgeous! It’s a good thing the turmeric didn’t spill on the that’ll be a complete nightmare!

  62. May 26, 2011 8:26 am

    agh! I know exactly how you feel.. Once I accidently dropped at full jar of tumeric on white floor..RIGHT before a dinner party…how the hell does it get EVERYWHERE in .2 seconds?! Oh, and I bet as soon as Ali took that picture he was like “run!” haha!


    oh, and how are you so fabulously tiny?!

  63. May 26, 2011 8:36 am

    Haha! Boy, I thought my absence (due to illness) is bad. I am envious of your pristine marble floors dear. I hate the tiles around here. So not cool 😉

  64. May 26, 2011 6:17 pm

    On no, not turmeric…yikes what a mess. Ali, you should have helped 😉 Hope your foot was OK, did you at least get a band-aid out of this?

    • May 27, 2011 8:37 am

      Yes I did get a bandaid…it was covered with pictures of Dora. But I suppose beggars can’t be choosers? 🙂

  65. May 27, 2011 8:28 am

    ur pristine granite floor is gorgeous and poor you i’m sure 72 hrs isn’t enough to clean the turmeric off! men i’m seriously annoyed! few jerk are testing my nerves, soon they will have their blows!


  1. socially (cue)less : round 2 « Fancy That…Fancy This

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