4 truths
Our vacation has been (almost) all about Maya for two reasons:
- To appease my conscience that I pretty much ignored her this year in favor of my career.
- So that I could say, to her future therapist, “But we spent SO quality time together. Even our vacations! I’m not sure where I went wrong?”
At the highest point in Paris: the Sacred Heart Basilica of Montmartre (Sacre-Coeur).
Truth #1 is that the only thing Maya wants (besides rolls of Scotch Tape) is time and attention.
Truth #2 is that giving Maya time and attention is the HARDEST thing in the world.
And yet, during this trip at least, I think I’ve been doing a pretty decent job of it.
In Dublin…resting up for Act 2 of “The Maya Show.”
London: We played cards, Boggle, colored, and I selflessly spent hours waiting in the hot sun as she played in the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain.
Dublin: Ali and I headed here – without Maya – because I’ve heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder and I wanted to be fully prepared for round 2.
London: After working up additional courage in Dublin I once again gave Maya my undivided attention all over London – parks, restaurants, and the library. We even cooked dinner together (Truth #3: I lost it when she dropped an entire tub of sour cream on the kitchen floor).
Paris: Here’s where things got crazy – I was so inspired by my progress that I decided to leave my laptop behind before climbing on the Eurostar.
One of too many tea times, this one in Dublin. Why can I resist every food except scones?
Maya was in shock. “But Mama, we are going to Paris for 2 whole days. You really aren’t going to take your laptop?”
I really didn’t. And somehow I didn’t miss it either. Instead we had hot chocolate and eclairs with friends at the Laduree, went swimming in our hotel pool, and rode ridiculously expensive rides at a fair ($10 for 5 minutes on a gigantic swing PER PERSON – how do people afford to live in Paris?).
Feeding the ducks (an old scone) at Hyde Park. Better them than me.
We are now back in London where my conscience feels suitably appeased.
Which brings us to Truth #4: I think we are both looking forward to a little alone time.
mastering avoidance
A few minutes after I decided to Be Still for a little while I left for work.
After that (and yes, here I go complaining again) I came home, and in anticipation of our trip that evening I did 5 loads of laundry, packed Ali’s stuff, Maya’s stuff, my stuff, vacuumed the apartment, Swiffered, changed the sheets, and emptied the fridge.
An afternoon at Hyde Park.
Then, as I was washing a few last dishes, I noticed that there was brown water coming out of the kitchen sink.
Me: “Ali, there is something wrong with the water.”
Ali: “Hmm, that’s strange. Here’s my phone so you can take a video. Maya! Do you have your water gun? Let’s go out on the balcony!”
Some of us have no concerns at all…must be nice.
After that helpful conversation I obsessively ran the water for 15 minutes, taking videos to show our new landlord. I also grew more furious by the second that the dishes I thought were now clean in the dishwasher had to be run again.
And I won’t lie, I think I cursed a few times as I heard Ali and Maya enjoying an afternoon of water play without a care in the world.
Forcing a little culture on the both of us at the Tate Modern.
Later that night, after we’d boarded our flight to London and I was consumed by the fact that our apartment building provided brown water as one of the perks, I had to ask:
Me: “Isn’t it bothering you that the water in our new apartment is the color of coffee?”
Ali: “What do I care? I’m going to London and don’t have to deal with it.”
The view from the Tate…
How has my husband mastered avoidance techniques? I have no idea. But I’ve decided I want to master this useful trait.
Really I do.
standing still
Sometimes I surprise myself by doing something that goes against my typically selfish behavior.
My latest selfless act? I got off my lazy behind to immerse myself in the “Must Get Maya Into a Better School” process.
Eid Picture in the 96th street subway station. A first.
This rather time-consuming project, which, incidentally rivaled my college-entrance process, had a happy ending, which is great.
By the same token, this happy ending created a bunch of additions to my To-Do list including:
- Finding a new place to live.
- Writing countless checks to our various landlords, including move-out fees, cleaning fees, security deposits, first month’s rent, last month’s rent, pro-rated month’s rent, and a bonus check simply for the right to exist in a world where writing so many checks is actually a possibility.
A walk / scooter ride through Rockefeller.
- Researching and securing the least shady movers we could find (an impossible challenge).
- Packing up Ali and Maya’s sh@# AGAIN.
- Unpacking all of Ali’s and Maya’s sh@# AGAIN.
- Doing all of this all during Ramadan. AGAIN.
View from our new place with the beautiful(but high-maintenance) floors.
Aside from having some words with Ali regarding his insistence we pack and move his tacky bright red-orange Ferrari shirt (it has since been donated) and nearly losing my mind with Maya’s Lego hoarding tendencies (they’ve since been organized according to color and style)…
…I firmly believe I dealt with all of the above with a grace and level of patience that is typically foreign to me.
A walk through Lincoln Center…lots of hair and ugly shoes all around.
But today, with 30 days of fasting, the move, countless hours of work, and an excessive amount of hours Swiffer-ing (I am obsessed with our new wood floors) behind me, I’ve decided I just need to be still for a while.
Maybe for the first time ever.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 