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guilt trip (maya guest post)

June 22, 2014


giltē pe(ə)rənt sinˌdrōm

An illness that occurs in parents when they feel bad they can’t (or won’t) give you their full attention. This syndrome causes parents to give in on things they normally wouldn’t, in order to make you – and mostly themselves – feel better.*

These days it seems like my mom is never around, which means her “Guilty Parent Syndrome” is in full swing! And trust me when I say I’ve been taking advantage of things.

So far I’ve guilted her into buying me cool things like a magic pen (which I’ve already lost), an overpriced book from the airport bookstore (which I’d already read), and even a 6-pack of double-sided tape!

(I love Scotch tape more than life itself).

Humidity = Terrible Hair. And no amount of Frizz-Ease can help.

Humidity = Terrible Hair. And no amount of Frizz-Ease can help.

Note: One thing I will not ask for again? Help with my fractions. I definitely won’t make THAT mistake again.

But a few weeks ago I felt a bit guilty about taking advantage of the situation.

You see, I was in a magic show at school and Mama promised she’d be there, despite the fact it was at a very bizarre time of 3:45 pm. And despite her incessant complaining about the random timing she did make it! I saw her just as I finished my trick.

But she looked kind of sad, and I heard her telling my dad that it took her an entire hour to get from the studio where they were filming to my school because of some crazy accident.

Father's Day in Central Park

Father’s Day in Central Park

So anyway, I felt bad because I think she missed the entire show. And I could tell she was lying when she said her eyes were red because her “contacts were bothering her.”

Still, I have to admit that I enjoyed the cookies she brought home for me. And the Tootsie Rolls and 2 Hershey Kisses she let me have later that day.

More bad hair...this time in Central Park

More bad hair…this time in Central Park

Yes, I’m imperfect. But summer vacation is coming, and Ramadan is a week away, which means Mama will be in the most horrible mood ever.

So don’t judge! Things are going to get ugly around here…I have to take advantage of the good times.

*This syndrome appears to only affect mothers…fathers never seem to feel guilty. About anything. Ever.
50 Comments leave one →
  1. June 22, 2014 6:59 am

    Hahaha I can so relate (especially the bit about dads). Hope things get less crazy soon x

    • June 23, 2014 3:23 am

      Thanks Amanda…hopefully with summer things will slow down a bit!

  2. June 22, 2014 9:20 am

    you are definitely, positively your mama’s daughter.
    and that is a VERY GOOD THING.
    Thanks for the smile 🙂 xx

  3. June 22, 2014 9:25 am

    Maya is just so sweet, I want to read more! Is this her actual voice, ameena? She is very mature, and funny 🙂

    • June 23, 2014 3:24 am

      This is me, pretending to be her. Maya’s actual writing skills aren’t exactly blog-worthy yet. 🙂

  4. June 22, 2014 9:50 am

    Very true!! your last line Maya 🙂 It’s amazing your mom made it in time to see you – but you know that already, don’t you?

  5. June 22, 2014 12:29 pm

    what a sweet post. The guilt syn is so true. I used to feel like that all the time when I worked 18 hours a day but I said good bye to it a month back and make sure I don’t struggle with that syndrome again. My daughter is having a tough time trying to take advantage of any situation

    • June 23, 2014 3:25 am

      Congrats on making such a hard decision. I always go around and around with the work-life balance thing. 18 hours is a lot!

  6. gary permalink
    June 22, 2014 2:02 pm

    Don’t you feel guilty taking advantage of your mom, maya? 🙂

    • June 23, 2014 3:25 am

      I think she does…but the cookies are a big reason she keeps taking advantage. 🙂

  7. June 22, 2014 7:53 pm

    Hi Maya! I’m sure you were a fantastic magician and your mom caught your act because she’s pretty awesome. I hope you save some of those candies and cookies for Ramadan because you’re right, it’s about to get crazy and cranky in both our houses 🙂

    • June 23, 2014 3:26 am

      Oh A…are you going to fast this year? Because if so, you deserve a medal for doing it with two little kids!!

  8. June 22, 2014 9:14 pm

    Lol my mom and dad always have this lolol…btw Ramadan Kareem Maya!!! What do you do for Ramadan???

    • June 23, 2014 3:26 am

      Maya does nothing. Her mom fasts and tries not to scream at everyone. 🙂

  9. Med permalink
    June 22, 2014 9:39 pm

    Awww! Did Ali video tape the magic show?

    • June 23, 2014 3:27 am

      He was able to tape a bit so luckily all was not lost. So frustrating though since I feel like I miss so many school events!

  10. glamorous glutton permalink
    June 23, 2014 1:59 am

    LOL, I bet you were and awesome magician. Great piece of writing BTW. GG

  11. June 23, 2014 4:15 am

    Maya, I don’t know how you go through Ramadan! You are a trooper. I’d eat my arm off for sure.

    • June 24, 2014 3:13 am

      Maya eats every 20 minutes…so it’s a good thing she is exempt from Ramadan until she’s older!

  12. Seana permalink
    June 23, 2014 4:18 am

    It definitely is a mom thing. You are not alone, be sure of that. Your life will someday change as mine has. As you get older, you have more time yet the kids age and don’t need you as much. It’s a funny thing. My kids are older, not living at home, have jobs, significant others, etc. and never can find the time to visit as much as I would like. Don’t beat yourself up.
    You’re 100% correct in a dad doesn’t feel the same way. Deep down I know I am the go to person for my kids. They call mom (not dad) when they have their crisis mode on because they know I am anal and will come through for them no matter what.
    My most recent call was from my 23 year son on a Sunday night a week ago. Jake, “Mom, I didn’t order my cap and gown for college graduation on Saturday.” Me, “I told you to do it 3 weeks ago.” Him, “I forgot.” Me, “I’ll take care of it.” I spent a lot of time tracking one down and was frantic. Did I tell him he was an idiot and how did you get through college? No. Because I’m the Mom.
    Enjoy Ramadan. I’d be so miserable.

    • June 24, 2014 3:15 am

      Congrats on your son’s graduation! Forgetting to order a cap and gown sounds like something a boy would do. 🙂 You are a good mom for tracking one down and not telling him he’s an idiot. Not sure I could show such restraint.

      Horrible things tend to come out of my mouth, despite a little voice telling me to be patient, she’s just a kid, etc. etc. I need to hang out with you…maybe your parenting skills will rub off?

  13. June 23, 2014 6:27 am

    Maya, you’re such a sweet little girl and a very blessed one to have such wonderful parents, especially your mom! 🙂 Tell your mom her hair looks great and good luck with Ramadan.

    • June 24, 2014 3:15 am

      Thank you Lydia for the nice comment. Just 4 days until Ramadan and I am VERY anxious…

  14. June 23, 2014 8:59 am

    I think it’s a guy thing in general!! We always take things so much harder. It’s not really fair actually.

  15. June 23, 2014 9:55 am

    Hahaa this is too cute! Have a good Ramadan, Ameena!

    • June 24, 2014 3:16 am

      Thank you … if you observe Ramadan I hope you have a great one as well!

  16. June 23, 2014 6:28 pm

    Great post! I, too, love Scotch tape!

    • June 24, 2014 3:16 am

      Apparently Maya is not in the minority as I thought!

  17. June 23, 2014 9:10 pm

    Lol. Love that “Maya” is posting. Also always love y’all’s mother daughter selfies.

  18. June 24, 2014 7:24 pm

    Maya, give your mom a huge hug and kiss. That always makes everything better 🙂

    P.S. Love these pics!

  19. June 25, 2014 9:26 pm

    Such a cute post! Now that summer is in full swing, hopefully things are less hectic for you all 🙂

    • June 29, 2014 5:23 am

      Fingers crossed that things slow down a bit…summer Fridays definitely help!

  20. June 27, 2014 5:37 pm

    Love this post! I think she wants to give you those things anyway. Good luck during Ramadan!

    • June 29, 2014 5:24 am

      Thank you…it’s Day #2. Fingers crossed that the remaining 28 go pretty quick. LOL

  21. Zainab permalink
    June 28, 2014 12:24 pm

    Ha love the last line…father’s really don’t feel guilty.
    Your hair looks great. You should see mine! !!!

  22. June 29, 2014 11:21 am

    Tell Maya just the fact she realizes it is an effort for you to show up is half the battle. Maya you are a great daughter and I know that even when moms are stressed from everything else that is going on around us, we love our children more than anything else on earth. I feel the hair pain, I feel like shaving mine off in the summer because I can’t manage it. Hope you two have the best summer, love all the things your saw in Philadelphia.

  23. July 1, 2014 6:50 am

    That means Ramadan is here. I didn’t even know. I really, really loved this post. I think I identified with the guilt part. I may not work full time, but I have a hard time giving my emotional attention if that makes any sense.

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