FANCY THAT FANCY THIS

There are few things more painful than shopping for clothes with Maya. This is because:

• She’s inherited her father’s indecisiveness.
• She has zero concern for time constraints.
• Her love for neon colors goes against everything I know.
• Maya insists that everything is either too tight or too scratchy*, which makes trying on clothes exhausting.

Tea time at the Peninsula Chicago.I forgot my hair brush and blow dryer. Things were a bit scary. Hence the braid.

*Maya recently started cutting off any and all clothing labels and tags. Since her Hello Kitty scissors aren’t the sharpest, this has led to holes in just about everything she owns. Which has led to Ali lecturing me that Maya has no clothes and why can’t I replace her holey clothing?

–>There are FEW things more annoying than this lecture.

In our hotel room…the free bear made for a successful trip.

So on one hand, I admire the fact that Maya can wear her hot pink Nike’s with her orange Target dress without caring she’s offending my sensitive color palate.

I also think it’s great she doesn’t let her watch rule her world, like I do.

The aftermath at Nordstrom in Chicago. After trying on no less than 8 pairs she FINALLY bought the snow boots. FINALLY.

But last week, when we were in Chicago and Ali insisted we buy Maya new snow boots? A process that took almost an entire hour? I wanted to scream “For the love of God, will you just MAKE A DECISION?”

I’m still recovering from that painful shopping expedition. It’s been a week.

All that’s left to say is that I fear the teenage years.

As organized as I am, you’d think I’d have a plan in place for Maya’s school holidays. But really, they just throw me for a loop. EVERY TIME.

Luckily, however, Ali is in town, which meant he and Maya were able to celebrate Columbus Day together this past Monday.

It seemed Ali was a bit overwhelmed by the idea of spending 12 hours with Maya though, because prior to me leaving for work he asked if any errands needed to be done.

He’s never asked that. Ever.

In honor of Ali’s birthday we all went shopping so he could purchase his billionth pair of khaki pants. Maya and I were forced to create our own entertainment.

Instead of verbalizing the smart ass comment percolating in my head….

(“Of course there are errands to be done. There are always errands to be done. I mean for one thing, have you not noticed the refrigerator is echoing it’s so empty?”)….

I handed him a grocery list with instructions to buy organic EVERYTHING, and then left to battle the crowds at Grand Central.

We also went to Mastro’s where Ali and Maya dominated a piece of cake the size of Texas.

At work, however, my sarcasm dissipated and I began to feel quite unsettled.

Mainly because Ali + the Grocery Store + Maya yield Frankenfoods like Cookie Crisp and Doritos.

And also because giving up control of even mundane things like the grocery list stresses me out to no end.

As I trekked home I talked myself down from a panic attack.I told myself that even if Ali bought non-organic peas and Fuji apples instead of Gala, I was going to survive.

The following day Maya was still on such a sugar high that I made her walk about 9 miles.

So guess what Ali bought?

Absolutely nothing. He and Maya went to Shake Shack, Cold Stone, played video games, and went rock climbing instead.

Typical.