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help me help her

February 9, 2016

For years other parents have been warning me that it only gets harder.

The truth is that I laughed at these warnings, knowing that NOTHING could be harder than the non-stop diaper changing, the sleepless nights, the formula mixing, the bottle cleaning, the sleep training, the potty training…and don’t forget the terrifying Costco runs.

(I haven’t been back to Costco since Maya stopped wearing diapers. I cut up my membership that day and will never go back. There are few things more dangerous than a Costco parking lot.)

And while I’d rather do anything than any of the above, I will admit that Maya has been working my last nerve the last few months. Not sure how things are going to progress but Maya’s just 10 and I’m already over:

  • the drama (“I HATE French and I HATE math and I HATE things that aren’t fun.”)
  • the teen lingo (“That’s amazeballs.” Really?)
  • the obsession with technology (I couldn’t give a @#$% about Minecraft. Seriously, I have no idea what it is and don’t want to know.)
  • the lack of appreciation for all that I do for her (I still do her hair and make her lunch for crying out loud.)

Just one picture this time…there haven’t been too many photo ops since we’ve been at odds with each other.

The icing on the cake was this past Sunday, when I insisted she practice her French on the iPad for 20 minutes, before we headed out for lunch. My reward for that apparently offensive suggestion was for her to ignore me for the hour it took to walk to Soho.

I was tempted to keep walking to see if she’d finally ask “How much farther?” but lunch was calling my name. (I’ll save that experiment for the next bout of silent treatment.)

Looking back I should have just enjoyed the silence and turned on my audio book. That’s what Ali would have done, I’m sure. But instead I cycled between anger and frustration at her lack of respect (and yes, even admiration – I had to take a moment to appreciate her ability to not speak for an entire hour to prove her point).

Need to nip this in the bud…any and all suggestions are welcome.


10 Comments leave one →
  1. Tands permalink
    February 10, 2016 10:00 am

    Don’t want to be negative, but the idea of raising a (soon-to-be) teenager in Manhattan really scares me. LA is no better, of course.

    • February 11, 2016 2:48 pm

      LA and NYC are probably the hardest places to raise a grounded child. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can live anywhere else! So my selfishness is probably to blame….

  2. seana permalink
    February 10, 2016 12:42 pm

    Brace yourself. It does get harder. Eventually they all come around. I have a 21 and 24 (soon to be 25) year old. It just takes a while. Eventually, they do realize all you have done for them (i.e., no college debt, I cook, hook them up for bdays and holidays. ) . It’s just hard sometimes. Maya will thank you someday. Just have patience. PS: My kids each have 2 years of high school french and 2 years of college French. Neither speaks French according to them. We’ve all been to Canada multiple times.. I think they speak French behind my back 🙂 You’ll be fine. Take my word for it. It’s not all bad, frustrating, yes at times, but bad….absolutely not. Maybe I’m trying to be wise because I turn 50 in May. Now that hurts..

  3. February 17, 2016 12:08 pm

    No suggestions. Good luck, fellow warrior. 🙂

  4. Nadia permalink
    February 21, 2016 1:24 am

    Hysterical !! Maya is an angel and we all know it… Come hang out with my preteen and teenage her and you will forget all about your complaints , I will take silent treatment any day;) major props to my ad though my kids could never do that! Miss her!!

    • February 21, 2016 6:42 am

      She’s not an angel Nadia. 🙂 Nice of you to say so though. 🙂

  5. sarahjmir permalink
    March 2, 2016 10:54 pm

    Ameena from what I see around 10 is the new 13 and I was no picnic at 13. lol. this too shall pass and she will look back and think you were such an amazing caring mother.

    • March 3, 2016 6:33 am

      So nice of you to say Sarah! Thank you so much. 🙂

  6. May 23, 2016 4:22 pm

    Ha ha I’m sure you’re sorted by now but…I would just ride it out. That’s what I do with my two…darlings…but then I AM a man 😀

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