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September 12, 2012

When I was seven I loved things like Sizzler‘s Hibachi Chicken, powdered Tang, and Target’s version of Keds.

But apparently times have changed, because in addition to my daughter’s requests for regular dinners at Crustacean (complete with bottles of Pellegrino), it appears that my 7-year-old is now obsessed with Chanel.

After finding this note in Maya’s room a variety of thoughts ran through my mind. As I’m sure you can imagine.

  1. How interesting that Maya wrote a poem. And it was of her own volition. Points for creativity!
  2. Creativity aside…I’m a bit troubled that Maya is writing about Chanel. At age 7.
  3. I really had no idea what Chanel was all about until I met Ali’s mom. And I was 21.
  4. How did I not know what Chanel was until I was 21? This just seems…impossible. I suppose it’s no wonder that I was such a loser in high school.
  5. Wait. This isn’t about me. This is about Maya. And the fact that she writes notes about Chanel.
  6. And noes? For the love of God…do we still not know how to spell nose?
  7. And what did she mean by “hoes” anyway? This should probably concern me more than her fashion preferences. Not sure why it doesn’t.

Things have changed since I was a kid. I get that. But if it’s Chanel at 7 what’s it going to be at 17?

134 Comments leave one →
  1. September 12, 2012 12:14 am

    you got to be in advertising as my super boss copywriter, you know that don’t you? i am at work just finished reading your post for the 29th time, and i can barely contain my laughter. i am really going ROTFL. save me. and you are an incredible writer. with this BIG sense of humor.

    • September 12, 2012 7:07 pm

      You are unbelievably generous with your compliments! So glad I could make you laugh. 🙂

  2. September 12, 2012 12:33 am

    She means “Channel”. At least just keep thinking that’s what she means…

    • September 12, 2012 7:09 pm

      I wish that were the case but I know my child too well.

  3. September 12, 2012 12:46 am

    Haha OMG this might be my all-time favorite post of yours, Ameena! This is too funny…especially “Chanel on a hoes”..looks like Maya is a fan of rap music! Laughter aside, it’s crazy how much more “advanced” kids of these days are! A friend of mine told me she handed her niece a magazine and the kid kept swiping her finger and then wondered why the page wasn’t turning…apparently only iPads will do these days! Kids are still a while away for me but I am already dreading what he/she will be requesting!

    • September 12, 2012 7:10 pm

      Seriously? She was swiping her finger on a magazine? That is unbelievable!!

  4. September 12, 2012 1:13 am

    Hahahaha this made me laugh out loud! The girl loves Chanel 😉 As for when she’s 17, who noes?

  5. September 12, 2012 1:41 am

    Bwahahaha… you have to admit this is pretty darn cute. Yep – I think possible future rap artist in the making there. And you’re not the only one – I couldn’t even recognize the Chanel logo until I was well out of high school. Sigh.

    • September 12, 2012 7:11 pm

      Maya as a rapper? Not sure if I’d rather her just be materialistic instead. 🙂

  6. September 12, 2012 1:55 am

    LOL @ hoes thats what I was wondering too. Points to ponder right there 🙂 … mommy headaches.

  7. September 12, 2012 2:37 am

    I would think, the writing on the paper or note is more of a rap than a poem. The fusion of rap music and fashion/beauty can have such an output – I think you’re missing a piece here. As for the ‘Chanel’, well that’s a women’s thing, so won’t ponder on that.

  8. September 12, 2012 2:52 am

    This is epic!! I mean, wow!! Maya surely earns a brownie for her creativity. CHANEL at 7!

  9. September 12, 2012 3:24 am

    We didn’t even have a mall when I was 7! Maya is apperently a lover of the finer things in life. Now the bigger question is are you going to be able to resist the urge to buy her Chanel. That is the tricky thing said the mom of two girls who love their “fancy things”,

    • September 12, 2012 7:13 pm

      I don’t buy Chanel for myself so it will be no problem to resist buying it for her!

  10. September 12, 2012 3:39 am

    Aah, she likes the good things! Wonder where she got that from! 🙂

    • September 12, 2012 7:14 pm

      I like the good things but I’m also 36. A 7 year old should not know about good things!

  11. September 12, 2012 4:15 am

    She could be a rapper. A fun new adventure for you! You could be one of those stage mothers! Fun!

    • September 12, 2012 7:14 pm

      I could be on that tacky show profiling stage moms…lovely.

  12. September 12, 2012 4:18 am

    This is not a poem. It’s a rap. You have a tiny lyrical genius on your hands. Chanel on a hoes will surely be the next big thing, no?

    • September 12, 2012 7:14 pm

      I might suggest it to Chanel…see what they think about it!

  13. September 12, 2012 4:40 am

    Love this! I’m with everyone above me – this is a rap! You may want to copyright it. 🙂

    • September 12, 2012 7:16 pm

      Luckily I don’t think we’re in any danger of someone stealing Maya’s misspelled masterpiece!

  14. September 12, 2012 4:52 am

    Ahhh, is she like her mama!? YES!

    At that age I would have written a poem about CATS! Haaa xx

    • September 12, 2012 7:16 pm

      I was too lame to even know how to write a poem!

  15. September 12, 2012 5:02 am

    aww I’m going against the grain here and saying it’s a poem. By hoes she meant panty hose, right? Surely she knows that Chanel is worn by ladies, not “hoes”. 😉

    • September 12, 2012 7:16 pm

      I don’t think Maya has heard the term “panty hose” before. So really, I’m just confused!

  16. hcoving permalink
    September 12, 2012 6:23 am

    It could be worse I suppose. At least she has some taste and isn’t writing a haiku about halter tops and cutoff denim shorts.

    • September 12, 2012 7:17 pm

      Very true. Although Maya knowing what a Haiku is would certainly impress me!

  17. September 12, 2012 6:26 am

    I’m feeling such a generation gap here. I often feel this way about a lot of people my age though so there’s no wonder, but it’s just because way too many people take things surrounding them for granted! I have to admit that I’m not always the most grateful person, but just saying. No, not every 5 year old needs to own an iPad.

    • September 12, 2012 7:18 pm

      I feel a generation gap with just about everyone. I think that for me it’s more of a personality problem though. 🙂

      PS: No 5-year-old needs an iPad!

      • September 12, 2012 7:27 pm

        My sentiments exactly. Maybe I have a twisted personality too. No, I’m sure I do 😛

  18. September 12, 2012 6:33 am

    this is hilarious. i love her little poem.

  19. September 12, 2012 6:52 am

    omg so funny! that poem is priceless, it’s a framer.
    but i know what you mean about it being a generation thing. my sister is 10 years younger than me and when i’d pick her up from high school 3-4 years ago, i’d see girls at my alma mater walking around with LV purses instead of backpacks, and i was stunned.

    • September 12, 2012 7:20 pm

      I am stunned as well! I see LV and Gucci…Coach like it’s going out of style. It’s just crazy. Where do kids get their money from?

  20. September 12, 2012 7:08 am

    hahahaha! amazing. hmmm by the time maya is 16…maybe proenza schouler? oh wait that’s just me who is lusting after the PS1 bag

    • September 12, 2012 7:21 pm

      I’m off to look up Proenza Schouler…I am not familiar with that designer!

  21. September 12, 2012 7:09 am

    she didn’t say Chanel is for hoes, so I think safe to go with hose. If you don’t send this to Chanel, I will.

    • September 12, 2012 7:21 pm

      I fear the hose/hoes thing will remain a mystery…

  22. September 12, 2012 7:25 am

    I love that Maya wrote a poem about Chanel. A girl after my own heart!

    • September 12, 2012 7:22 pm

      I guess there are worse things to write a poem about…:)

  23. September 12, 2012 7:40 am

    Maya is my kind of girl. So what’s wrong if she wants to start early? 🙂

    • September 12, 2012 7:22 pm

      Why can’t she start learning her subtraction early??

  24. September 12, 2012 8:44 am

    Too funny!!! I didn’t know about chanel until my 20’s-at least either and have yet to even touch one piece of chanel merchandise. You better start saving up for when she turns 17!!

  25. Rufina permalink
    September 12, 2012 9:20 am

    Worth framing and giving back to her when she is all grown up (next year?)

  26. September 12, 2012 9:25 am

    This had me cracking up!! At least you know Maya has good taste 😉

  27. September 12, 2012 10:24 am

    I agree with the hoes, LMAO!

    I didn’t know Chanel until my mid twenties – loser!

  28. September 12, 2012 10:40 am

    She gets to wear Chanel on her toes! I can barely get to spray some of it ;P
    Well she is on and about to be a fashionista!
    Im curious what she meant by it being closed? Maybe your MIL can answer that – did a nearby store close? what? find out and let me know!

    • September 12, 2012 7:24 pm

      I didn’t even tackle closed…maybe it was nighttime when she wrote this so Maya just assumed the stores were closed?

      Another mystery.

  29. September 12, 2012 10:56 am

    This is adorable, a girl after my own heart. Or my noes, whatever.

  30. September 12, 2012 11:01 am

    hoes, hahaha! you should write a television sitcom, i would watch! every time i read a post, i laugh so hard that i snort out of my noes 🙂

    • September 12, 2012 7:25 pm

      Noes…I love it.

      I’m so glad I could make you laugh!

  31. The Mom Chef permalink
    September 12, 2012 11:03 am

    Who says it’s Chanel 7? It could be Chanel 22, my Mom’s fragrance since I was little. I knew about it at Maya’s age because of that. Of course, I was using it (and her powders) to make cookies in her sink, but I did know about it.

    As far as poetry goes, it’s really quite good, spelling aside (that’s just downright adorable).

    • September 12, 2012 7:25 pm

      I’m sure your mom loved your cookies! I can’t even imagine how expensive they must have been…

  32. September 12, 2012 11:16 am

    Hehe, I liked the poem 🙂 I thought it was cute, but it sounds like you have a fashion gal on your hands!

    • September 12, 2012 7:25 pm

      I can only hope she’s more fashionable than I am/was!

  33. September 12, 2012 11:17 am

    Maya is just creative Ameena- spelling errors aside :p Maya is our new fashionista!

    • September 12, 2012 7:26 pm

      She definitely has more style than me…I’ll give her that!

  34. samanthaangela permalink
    September 12, 2012 11:17 am

    I noted that she can spell Chanel correctly but not nose. Perhaps if all words were luxury brands her spelling would be impeccable.

    Also, I literally LOL’d at “Chanel on my hoes”. She is one classy pimp.

    • September 12, 2012 7:26 pm

      Classy pimp…hysterical. Maya will laugh at this comment one day!

  35. Fadia permalink
    September 12, 2012 11:58 am

    Wow, Maya writes just like Kanye West!

    • September 12, 2012 7:27 pm

      Kanye West! Luckily she doesn’t know about his writing just yet…

  36. September 12, 2012 1:15 pm

    Thank goodness my girl remains fairly unaware of brands, though I guess where I live, designer brands are hard to find, anyway.

    • September 12, 2012 7:27 pm

      This is NOT the case in Los Angeles, unfortunately!

  37. September 12, 2012 1:25 pm

    Kids these days are far more aware than we were at their age. I didn’t know about chanel or any other brand till I was 19 0r 20.
    As for the poem, I must say it is very cute!! Maya is very creative. If not for the spelling mistakes, I would say she has your writing talent 🙂

    • September 12, 2012 7:27 pm

      How nice of you to say I have talent.

      (Of course I skipped over everything else because I’m selfish like that. :))

  38. September 12, 2012 1:35 pm

    I love the fact Maya’s into Chanel at 7. Is it colourful tweed or fabulous fragrance, perhaps it’s just the idea of what it represents – too esoteric!? Perhaps just magazine aware and listens to her Mum. GG

    • September 12, 2012 9:01 pm

      Esoteric! I love that word. And I love that you incorporated it in a comment. You are smart GG!!

  39. Piya permalink
    September 12, 2012 1:48 pm

    omg this just killed me hahaha. chanel chanel on a hoes? maya is so talented. this is just amazing!!!!!

    • September 12, 2012 9:02 pm

      If only Maya could apply herself in this way to her math!! Imagine…

  40. Jessie E. permalink
    September 12, 2012 1:55 pm

    Oh, Maya. You are too adorable for words. Even more awesome is your commentary, Ameena. I’m sitting here, laughing until the tears run.

    Also, I never heard of Chanel until I graduated from college. The first time I saw it, I thought the writer was mispelling “channel”. If that’s not dorky, I don’t know what is.

    • September 12, 2012 9:02 pm

      So glad I could make you laugh Jessie! Also, so glad that I’m not the only dork who didn’t know much about Chanel… 🙂

  41. September 12, 2012 2:23 pm

    haha well at least Chanel is classy. She could be obsessed with some trashy designer (that I can’t name because I’m really that uncool).

    • September 13, 2012 8:08 pm

      Something trashy like Versace? Sorry, I am NOT a Versace fan.

  42. September 12, 2012 4:30 pm

    Perhaps this is standard behavior for all kids that grow up in LA? (Did you also grow up in LA?) I laugh because I was looking at “noes” and thinking that looks off, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. “Hoes” also had me stumped for a second. Not a good sign. Well, at least the girl has taste. She could be scribing about McDonalds or candy.

    • September 13, 2012 8:08 pm

      I did grow up here…and you make a good point! Odes to McDonald’s would trouble me much more…

  43. September 12, 2012 5:09 pm

    Honestly, be happy that she has exquisite taste. Imagine the horror if she were in love with some skanky products endorsed by Britney Spears. Ew…

    • September 12, 2012 10:04 pm

      You just gave Ameena fodder for another post- I had to comment.

    • September 13, 2012 8:10 pm

      My husband is a fan of Britney Spears…sad but true.

  44. September 12, 2012 5:11 pm


    Andy and I are CRACKING up over this. Hoes. I love Maya. I wish she was in my class.

    • September 13, 2012 8:11 pm

      So glad I could make you laugh! But if Maya was in your class you’d have to deal with her subtraction issues…not fun.

  45. September 12, 2012 9:07 pm

    LOL Maya is very entertaining, she made me laugh so hard! Wait a minute, how does she know what “hoes” are?? Chanel common!!! I had no idea what that was when I was her age. Tell her to start saving now ha ha. Being a kid these days is difficult…whatever happened to kids being kids. I swear to you, a 3 year old I know, can use his dads iphone already but is clearly not social at all. Oii what has gone wrong with this world.

    Thanks Maya for a good laugh XX

    • September 13, 2012 8:11 pm

      So much has gone wrong with this world. And Apple products are responsible for a good part of it!!

  46. September 12, 2012 10:06 pm

    The good news is that she is expressing her high end tastes in the form of poetry versus verbal demands!

    • September 13, 2012 8:12 pm

      I get the verbal demands too. Don’t you worry!! She has that covered.

  47. September 13, 2012 2:08 am

    Wonderful poetry! Bless her. I had to double take at ‘hoes’ but I think I get it!

    • September 13, 2012 8:12 pm

      I took a triple take at “hoes” and I still don’t get it!!

  48. September 13, 2012 2:53 am

    This is amazing! Well, maybe she got some inspiration from that coffee table book. But lovely rhyme scheme. I think she would be lovely with Chanel on her nose. The hoes part I’m not so sure…but it’s sad because that word is used so casually in pop culture now.

    • September 13, 2012 8:14 pm

      I agree. I also hate it when girls casually call each other “Bitch.” We can thank Nicole Ritchie for that one…

      • September 13, 2012 8:41 pm

        I know!! When I was growing up, these were bad, bad words; and even people on TV rarely used it. Now bros before hoes bitches next to witches bleh. Oh you should see the subtitling on Indian TV shows these days…whenever someone says bitch, it is bleeped out and the subtitle reads ‘which.’ Sex is subtitled as ‘intercourse.’

  49. September 13, 2012 4:28 am

    This is so cute. Well, and a bit scary. There are times when I wish I had a girl and this probably isn’t one of them. Boys are much easier in the fashion/accessory department. At least you have some gift ideas now 😉

    • September 13, 2012 8:15 pm

      Boys are usually easier in that department…so true.

  50. September 13, 2012 6:13 am

    I love it that she chose to write a poem and more so of her own accord. Thank Chanel for inspiring her, I’d say. About your concern for her fancies, Maya addresses it right there, in her last line – “Chanel is now Closed”. The End. Finito. This young lady sure knows her mind!

    • September 13, 2012 8:16 pm

      Love your interpretation! So if Chanel is closed than the subject is closed and I don’t have to worry about her obsession with Chanel any more?

      • September 14, 2012 11:17 pm

        Yup! I’d like to think so. Lets go with what’s easy on the mind. We’ll cross the bridge when we get there anyway ! My $0.02 🙂 !!

  51. roshni permalink
    September 13, 2012 8:08 am

    Well I am thinking how nice to have a daughter who is fashion forward. When she starts making her own money you know what your birthday gifts will look like you lucky mommy :). Better Chanel than forever 21 no?. At least she has great taste 🙂

    • September 13, 2012 8:17 pm

      Such a good point. I have to say…I personally can never find anything in Forever 21 but some people, like my SIL, look amazing in Forever 21 stuff!

  52. September 13, 2012 11:53 am

    Perfect! We’ll be sure to invite her for Young Lady’s birthday party. 😉

  53. September 13, 2012 8:59 pm

    Upward evolution is the goal of all great parents…just think, no roller rink for her birthday, she’s headed for a canal cruise in Venice with 10 of her BFFS!

    • September 18, 2012 7:58 pm

      She’ll probably demand a roller rink on the cruise en route to Venice. Scary.

  54. September 14, 2012 9:25 am

    It’s like a fancy Dr. Seuss poem. I wouldn’t be too concerned, sometimes kids just grab onto a brand and run with it. Lila wanted TOMS until I saw how much they were. Good thing we found a similar pair in the JC Penny clearance for 7 bucks.

    • September 18, 2012 7:58 pm

      I love Toms but my MIL does not. So I am hesitant to buy them…maybe I should check out JCPenney’s version?

  55. squigglefloey permalink
    September 16, 2012 3:02 am

    I’m dying. Maya is gonna be FIERCE.

  56. September 16, 2012 10:10 am

    I hope that by “hoes” she means gardening tools.

    • September 18, 2012 7:59 pm

      I hope so too…it’ll remain a mystery I fear.

  57. September 17, 2012 5:39 am

    This is too funny! I give her points for writing a poem (from one poet to another) Chanel…it makes me laugh. Hoes????

  58. September 17, 2012 7:26 am

    This is beyond adorable!!!
    Loving Chanel at 7… Now that what I call true Diva…
    About Hoes??? May be its is just her rhyming instinct…

    • September 18, 2012 8:00 pm

      That what I think. She probably has no idea what a gardening hoe even is…

  59. September 18, 2012 5:50 am

    LOL @ Maya’s adorably creative poem, LMAO @ your comments, and loving another one of your posts as always. And I’m guessing if she meant “house” for “hoes” in a rap accent 😛

    • September 18, 2012 8:01 pm

      Thank you for LYAO Nisha. And for telling me you did. Makes me feel like a million bucks. 🙂

  60. September 18, 2012 2:43 pm

    Best. Poem. Ever. Especially the hoes part! 🙂

  61. September 18, 2012 7:43 pm

    I loved Tang and Cheese Whiz. What can I say? My oldest daughter fell in love with one of the most expensive restaurants in Toronto and makes requests to go there all the time. We remind her that it is for special occasions only and brace ourselves for an expensive future. The poem is adorable!

    • September 18, 2012 8:02 pm

      Isn’t Tang great? I haven’t had it in years but I still remember how good it is.

      So curious which restaurant in Toronto is your daughter’s favorite?

  62. caloricandcrazy permalink
    September 19, 2012 8:32 pm

    Maybe she meant garden hoes? Or hose? Haha. This post is too cute =)

  63. September 23, 2012 5:33 am

    She is creative alright!! I hope you have put it up on the refrigerator 🙂
    I think Chanel is a nice obsession to have. Not so for her mum and dad though

    • September 23, 2012 8:06 am

      I guess there are worse things to be obsessed with? 🙂

  64. September 26, 2012 3:44 pm



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