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12 years

June 12, 2012

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s really rare for Ali to get mad.

This is good because I obviously get mad enough for the both of us. This is bad though, because when Ali gets mad? He gets really mad. Like “makes a scene” mad. Which is exactly what happened on Saturday night, as we celebrated 12 blissfully happy years of marriage.

And if you sense a bit of sarcasm you wouldn’t be wrong.

Apparently the waiter is as hopeless at taking a clear picture as I am.

Anyway, here’s what didn’t set my husband off:

  1. The fact that we were 10 minutes late to dinner at Crustacean because I suddenly felt the need to stop and buy a birthday gift for someone.
  2. The fact that the restaurant’s hostess was rather bitchy in that uptight, “I’m super important because I’m the hostess of a trendy restaurant” sort of way.
  3. The fact that valet parking was $10.
  4. The fact that we were seated right next to the noisy kitchen, despite the restaurant being approximately 60% full.
  5. The fact that our waiter tried to up sell us on the whole “sparkling or flat water” thing. (I only succumb to that one in Europe).
  6. The fact that the Shrimp Mousse appetizer was quite possibly the most disgusting thing we’d ever tasted.

Here’s what did set my husband off: The fact that we were seated next to a balustrade that Ali insisted prevented him from fully stretching out his elbow, thereby not allowing him to “eat efficiently.”

I know I sound ungrateful here but deep fried bananas? I don’t eat greasy things…and I don’t eat bananas. I Just. Said. No.

Watching my husband chase down the hostess and then talk to the manager – neither of whom particularly cared about Ali’s challenges concerning a wooden wall – was surreal. But once a year I try to be respectful of the little things, even if that means facilitating my husband’s need to stretch his arm.

After 12 years, I’m guessing it’s the least I can do.

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105 Comments leave one →
  1. June 12, 2012 12:23 am

    The last time I ate at Crustatian I had to take out a loan so I’m just jealous you got to celebrate there. I also think I can get you to like greasy things. It will change your life for the better, I promise.

    • June 12, 2012 8:16 pm

      If it’s any consolation, Crustacean is no longer worth taking out a loan….I doubt we’ll be back anytime soon.

  2. June 12, 2012 12:35 am

    Ok I agree with you on the bananas. And the joyous thing about being a vegetarian is that no one would suggest taking me to Crustacean. Although not enough people take me to steakhouses which are actually terrific for veggies(bread and butter! iceberg wedge with blue cheese! creamed spinach! gigantic chocolate cake!)
    I am way off track. I was going to say that I could understand being peeved about being cramped if he was simply mad about being uncomfortable, but the detail that he didn’t like it because of not being able to eat efficiently is hilarious…

    • June 12, 2012 8:17 pm

      That iceberg wedge with the blue cheese? So amazing. Have you had it at Fleming’s? It’s phenomenal.

      • June 12, 2012 9:48 pm

        I’ve been to Fleming’s but I don’t recall if I had that there. Probably. But my favorite steakhouse is Jar. Okinawa purple sweet potatoes with chive creme fraiche. Amazing.

      • June 13, 2012 7:52 am

        I’ve never been to Jar! I will definitely check it out.

  3. June 12, 2012 12:44 am

    Belated anniversary wishes to you and ali. Well I admire ali’s patience about not being peeved about being seated next to the kitchen. If it was my husband, he would have walked out right then and honestly speaking, so would I. But yes. The fact that ali was put off because he could not stretch is his hand was really funny 🙂

    • June 12, 2012 8:18 pm

      I really wanted to walk out and suggested it to Ali but for some reason he was just so angry he couldn’t move!

  4. June 12, 2012 12:49 am

    Hilarious! The ‘wooden wall challenge’ is rather hard to believe from Ali’s countenance in the picture 🙂 Congratulations on a successful 12 year journey together!

  5. June 12, 2012 2:02 am

    Happy belated annivarsary to you and Ali! 🙂 I can totally understand how being sqished can make a person snap! But it would be sitting next to the noisy kitchen that would do it for me hehe

    • June 12, 2012 8:19 pm

      I was more annoyed about the noise than the balustrade. But I managed to keep my mouth shut for a change… 🙂

  6. June 12, 2012 4:26 am

    I can’t count the number of things that made me laugh in this post. Happy belated anniversary!

  7. June 12, 2012 4:57 am

    Actually, I really like deep fried bananas! At least he doesn’t get cross often and the things he does get annoyed with are, in their own way, very humorous. Happy anniversary.

  8. June 12, 2012 5:01 am

    Happy Anniversary 😉

  9. June 12, 2012 5:21 am

    Poor Ali! Being one of long arms, I feel his pain. If it wasn’t nailed down…I would have moved the table out a few inches. I’ve been known to do that at restaurants! Happy Anniversary! Ralph and I will reach 12 years in October!

    • June 12, 2012 8:22 pm

      Not sure if Ali has long arms…I don’t think he does? Funny.

      Happy 12 years in advance!!

  10. June 12, 2012 5:54 am

    Ah the little things. Just as it’s the little things that make us happy, it’s the little things that also are the needle that break the camel’s back… you’d be amazed at some of the minute little things I’ve freaked out over…

    • June 12, 2012 8:22 pm

      Same here. But of course it’s far more fun to make fun of Ali’s “needles.”

  11. June 12, 2012 6:35 am

    I’m always shocked at what actually gets my husband to lose it too. I pick at every little thing when we go out to eat, but mostly because I worked in food service for the first half of my life. As you can imagine, I’m a joy to dine out with 🙂

    • June 12, 2012 8:35 pm

      I am a joy to dine out with as well..and I didn’t work a minute in food service! I just excel at picking on every little thing.

  12. June 12, 2012 7:43 am

    We went out the weekend before Valentine’s Day and were seated at the little table that is actually meant to be paired with several other tables to accomodate a large party. Couples on either side of us were met with the same fate. There was no stretching out, no arm movement allowed, and any conversation was to be shared with the strangers immediately next to you. DISASTER. Chad isn’t one to speak up (I am blabby enough for both of us), but I swear he was trying to shoot laser beams out of his eyes at the hostess.
    Happy anniversary!!! And aren’t you glad you didn’t have to be mad for a change?

    • June 12, 2012 8:36 pm

      And that is exactly why I avoid restaurants on Valentine’s Day…I am not a fan of overpaying so I can be packed next to a bunch of strangers.

      And now I’m mad on your behalf. 🙂

  13. June 12, 2012 7:57 am

    HAPPY 12 YEARS! Sounds like an interesting dinner, one for the books!

  14. June 12, 2012 8:09 am

    Happy 12 Years of BLISS)))))

    You guys are pretty cute together…minus the greasy bananas. ICK.

    • June 12, 2012 8:36 pm

      So glad you share my thoughts on the greasy bananas. 🙂

  15. June 12, 2012 8:13 am

    I have to say, I really think you’re missing out on those bananas. 🙂 Happy Anniversary!!

  16. June 12, 2012 8:28 am

    woah 12 years! a dozen congrats!

  17. June 12, 2012 8:31 am

    wow congrats! 12 years is a long time! i do the same thing about sparkling water in europe haha. give me the tap here! i like bananas only frozen in smoothies. i cannot eat them raw and i hate the smell. deep fried bananas sounds disgusting!? why not chocolate something are they silly?

    • June 12, 2012 8:37 pm

      My thoughts exactly…it was like they wondered which dessert I would dislike the most and brought that one out!

  18. Lady Jennie permalink
    June 12, 2012 8:47 am

    You’ve got the essential dance of marriage down pat, it seems. We’ll be celebrating ours on Oct 28 (12 years).

    • June 12, 2012 8:38 pm

      Happy Early Anniversary!

      And 12 years later I am not any smarter about marriage. I assure you of that! 🙂

  19. June 12, 2012 8:51 am

    Happy Anniversary! I wanted to tell Ali to get over it, but then I remembered my brother acts like that on a weekly basis and that Ali doing it once a year is perfectly acceptable. And I like bananas, but not like that. I have a problem with warm fruit.

    • June 12, 2012 8:40 pm

      When I want dessert I don’t want fruit to be involved in it. At any temperature!!

  20. June 12, 2012 9:26 am

    Happy Anniversary dear Ameena: And I completely relate! guess THANK GOD we didn’t marry ourselves because we’d never last 2 days together much less decades. And yes we must give them their arm rests, and lack of reading skills and what not and hope that we make up for them just as they do for us – in so many instances.

    Hugs! Devaki @ weavethousandflavors

    • June 12, 2012 8:52 pm

      Love this comment Devaki!

      I can’t imagine marrying myself…I’d drive me crazy. 🙂

  21. June 12, 2012 9:35 am

    Happy Anniversary Ameena. 12 years is a milestone! And I hate being seated next to a balustrade too. Only difference is, I’m too much of a wuss to do anything about it.

    • June 12, 2012 8:52 pm

      Thank you Gayatri! And if it’s any consolation I’m a wuss too…

  22. June 12, 2012 10:00 am

    Happy Anniversary! Wishing you both many more loving years together. What break a person’s cool is hard to understand. Don’t even try.

  23. June 12, 2012 10:19 am

    Aww! Belated happy anniversary to you both and best wishes for many more to come.

    “eat efficiently” – hehe! funny, but eating comfortably sure matters!

    I’d like to know Ali’s secret of keeping calm and instill some of it in my husband too 😀

    • June 12, 2012 8:53 pm

      If I could figure out how secret I would instill some of Ali’s calmness in myself too…

  24. June 12, 2012 10:24 am

    Wow – 12 years! That is excellent. What is not excellent is a bad dining experience, especially when you are paying the big bucks at a place like that!
    And don’t get me started with the valet parking thing here in LA…

    • June 12, 2012 8:54 pm

      The parking in this city is one of the major reasons I dislike it! So much wasted money…

  25. June 12, 2012 10:41 am

    haha I actually fully understand why that would make Ali mad. 🙂

  26. June 12, 2012 10:50 am

    Happy anniversary to you both! Here’s to a future full of the little things that truly matter!!! 🙂

  27. June 12, 2012 11:18 am

    Happy Anniversary… I think i get what he feels – elbow space definitely hinders with eating efficiently!

    • June 12, 2012 8:55 pm

      Another person who understands my husband…he will be thrilled. 🙂

  28. June 12, 2012 11:21 am

    I hate pretentious restaurants. I have yet to find one that isn’t overrated. I also hate chain restaurants. Something in between is best. Happy anniversary to you guys!

    • June 12, 2012 8:56 pm

      I don’t mind some chain restaurants…like CPK and Cheesecake are pretty good. But yes, something in between is best!

  29. June 12, 2012 11:52 am

    Happy anniversary!!

  30. June 12, 2012 1:13 pm

    happy anniversary!!!!!! you guys are so lucky to have each other and maya to have you both…tear tear (of joy).

  31. June 12, 2012 1:33 pm

    Happy anniversary!! Life here is the same way. When he gets mad, people need to duck and cover. I have to agree with Ali on being mad at 1. bitchy service and 2. indifferent service. Ah, the second is worst than the first for me.

  32. June 12, 2012 3:00 pm

    So I am guessing by the picture that you were moved. Ali has a good disposition, Glenn rarely gets mad either, lucky us. I cannot stand snooty hostess’ or waiters, uggh, the worst.

    • June 12, 2012 8:57 pm

      We were moved from the kitchen but not from the balustrade. So it was an improvement at least!

  33. June 12, 2012 5:09 pm

    Happy Anniversary, sorry the dinner was not more memorable but you still have each other 😉

    • June 12, 2012 8:58 pm

      Yes we do. 🙂 Not sure if Ali is happy about that!

  34. June 12, 2012 6:35 pm

    Happy Anniversary to you and Ali! I’m the same way except about being able to stretch out my right leg from time to time. I had surgery on it years ago, and it still acts up.

    • June 12, 2012 8:59 pm

      You had surgery so that gives you a valid excuse. Ali has no excuse. 🙂

  35. June 12, 2012 7:17 pm

    We celebrate 12 years this year as well. Sorry about the scrunchy arm and the flamed bananas. Those meals look amazing though! Hope you have many more years of wedded bliss and fun stories!

  36. June 12, 2012 10:15 pm

    Bahahahaha this one had me laughing out loud. You’re great at telling stories and I love your sense of humour. It’s funny because I can almost hear you reading this despite the fact that a) I’ve never met you and b) I’ve never heard your voice!

    Happy 12!!!

  37. squigglefloey permalink
    June 13, 2012 3:23 am

    Haha you are amazing.
    The deep fried bananas looked like slugs anyway 😛

  38. June 13, 2012 3:53 am

    We are 14 years today. At least Ali spent it with you, Marc will not miss our boys’ “playoff” hockey game. After 14 years, I don’t care. I do like this concept of once a year their concerns are honored. If I was with Marc today I’d consider that but I’ll have to wait until next year to test this out. And snotty hostesses? Makes me nuts.

  39. June 13, 2012 8:00 am

    Well, men do have broader shoulders and slightly different elbows than we do. I remember from the archery section in middle school PE that I had to consciously twist my arm to align the joint parallel to the bow so I wouldn’t hurt myself (it faces upwards if I just hold my arm out naturally, even with my palm facing down). I think this makes it easier for us to bend our arms up in close quarters; whereas men have to kind of stick them out to do things like “eat efficiently.”

    That, or when we go to restaurants, women care about the holistic experience, but men concentrate on the food :p

  40. June 13, 2012 8:23 am

    Congrats on 12 years! Obviously you two are doing something right! I hope to be right there in about 8 years! Wow, that seems so long.

  41. Andrea @ The Skinny Chronicles permalink
    June 13, 2012 10:01 am

    Maybe it was the cumulative list of little things gone wrong that finally made him snap at the lack of arm room. The straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. Or, maybe he just needed more arm room. Men are a complete and utter mystery to me.

  42. June 13, 2012 10:20 am

    I think of all the endurance, forgiveness, humor and wisdom that has gone through these past 12 years and honor you.

    And recently visited a michelin star restaurant in France felt super sad the first 30 minutes because of the snobbery of the staff. They wouldn’t let us order wine until we ordered our meal selections and then we got charged $50! for digestifs with our desert. OUTRAGEOUS to pay so much for so little food (although tasty) and a sense of being snubbed….I am taking the rest of the year, off, thank you very much from Michelin Star Restaurants.

  43. SIL permalink
    June 13, 2012 11:13 am

    Ha ha, well Happy Anniversary anyway! I get super mad as well and my Hubby is the same way…he rarely gets mad, but when he does…watch out! I’m not even going to begin to describe what that banana dish looks like…it’s all about presentation people!

  44. June 13, 2012 11:31 am

    Happy Anniversary!
    I agree fried bananas…ewww. Bananas alone are gag worthy.

    Katie 🙂

  45. June 13, 2012 1:35 pm

    Happy Anniversary Ameena! 12 years, wow! I’m gonna need marriage advice from you. I loveeeeeeeeeee fried bananas, what are you talking about? I didn’t know you don’t like fried food.

  46. June 13, 2012 1:36 pm

    Happy 12th Anniversary to you and Ali! Here’s to many many many more years of happiness to come!
    I love fried banana! But certainly not the one that looks in the picture from Crustacean above. Mine is yummy! 🙂

  47. June 13, 2012 1:50 pm

    I laughed so hard at this. Congrats on 12 years!

  48. June 13, 2012 2:21 pm

    Happy Anniversary! May the next 12 years be void of limb-constricting walls. Also, I love you for using the word balustrade.

  49. caloricandcrazy permalink
    June 13, 2012 5:03 pm

    I don’t like bananas either, though I’ve never tried a deep-fried one!

  50. June 13, 2012 7:13 pm

    Congratulations, Ameena. The most terrifying name I’ve heard today is no longer Wolf Spider but Shrimp Mousse. We Absolutely Say No.

    Happy anniversary – to 12 wonderful years of chasing down your Only Person On The Planet Who Could Wear Orange And Manage To Camouflage Himself and many many more.

  51. June 13, 2012 9:38 pm

    Bummer that the evening wasn’t as blissful as the rest of your days together are (hehe). I’ve never been to Crustacean and perhaps I never need to go? Did they end up moving you to a more suitable table for Ali’s elbow?

  52. anywherethereisanairport permalink
    June 14, 2012 4:14 am

    First, a very happy 12 years to you! No small feat I am sure 🙂

    Second, David also never gets mad. So when he does it’s someone serious and yet quite amusing. I am sure it was quite entertaining to watch Ali in action.

  53. June 14, 2012 10:44 am

    Congratulations Ameena 🙂 i cant stand bitchy hostess which actually happened to me this past weekend.

  54. June 14, 2012 1:24 pm

    I laughed out loud at the “eat efficiently” thing. Too funny. Also, I hate when waiters try to pull the water trick on you. This is not Europe. Tap water is just fine, thank you very much. Anyhoo, happy anniversary to you and Ali!! Sounds like it was memorable!

  55. tandra permalink
    June 14, 2012 3:36 pm

    The post as usual, made me laugh out loud…wishing you both a very happy anniversary 🙂

  56. June 14, 2012 6:48 pm

    Why would anyone want to eat efficiently, especially in a fancy restaurant.

    But I had fried bananas in chocolate and raspberry sauce at a sushi place and they were delicious.

  57. June 14, 2012 11:39 pm

    Wishing you a wonderful anniversary. What gifts did you buy each other?

    • June 15, 2012 7:14 am

      No gifts! I told Ali I didn’t want anything. But we are taking a trip later this month – travel is the best gift ever. 🙂

      • June 15, 2012 7:16 am

        thats a great idea.. Travel is definitely better than anything else

  58. June 22, 2012 5:09 am

    Happy anniversary!! BTW good for ali that he spoke up. I hate being treated like sh*t by RESTAURANT WORKERS…not that there is anything wrong with it but we are choosing to dine THERE for a special day so make it special. Restaurants are 30% food and 70% service!

    • June 25, 2012 8:24 pm

      Thank you Diana…and your comment about it being 70% service is SO true!

  59. Rufina permalink
    June 25, 2012 6:45 pm

    Happy Anniversary! I’m a little late with my well wishes. So that’s what a balustrade is (!), not only are you always entertaining, but now you’re adding words to my vocabulary too. Educational and funny! Too bad about the shrimp mousse. Even with a blurry pic, I must admit the scoops did not look very appealing…or maybe that was rice, it’s very hard to tell. 😉

  60. July 5, 2012 11:31 am

    Hey belated anniversary wishes! Here’s to a lifetime of happiness and quirkiness to the both of you. But maybe not anymore celebrations at Crustacean!

  61. July 31, 2012 11:46 pm

    I’m SO late, but happy belated anniversary to you and Ali! Despite the blurry photo, you both look great. Sometimes I think waiters/waitresses should have to take a course in photography. Yeah ok…maybe I’m asking too much, but I’ve had so many ‘would’ve been a nice photo’ taken all blurry by my waiter/waitress.
    Here’s to many many more happy years for the both of you. Hopefully next year Ali will be able to stretch his elbows out till his heart’s content.

    • August 1, 2012 3:59 am

      Thank you my friend. It’s been a while! I miss your very sweet comments. 🙂

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