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August 8, 2012

And I was doing so well this Ramadan.

My headaches have been at a minimum, I haven’t even been that hungry, and I’ve been thinking of others for a change. Even better? I’ve managed to keep my complaining, my temper, and my sarcasm in check.

Until of course I came home from work and saw this:

This photo isn’t even the half of it.

But then it got worse. Because as I donned my classy yellow rubber gloves to clean up everything from an inch of crumbs on the floor to a variety of knives caked with peanut butter (not sure why someone can’t understand that peanut butter isn’t going to magically melt away in the dishwasher), I had to listen to this:

Ali: “Before you get mad, let me explain.”

Me: “There’s really no need. I just want to extend my thanks for leaving the kitchen a massive disaster area. I appreciate it.”

Ali: “Why are you mad at me? I thought I was doing you a favor.”

Me: “How on earth is leaving the kitchen that I thoroughly cleaned up and down this morning at 4 AM doing me a favor?”

Ali: “I did it so that you’d have something to do! While you waited for the sun to set.”

Me: “So let me recap: you left me the dishes as a favor. So that I’d have something to keep me busy after not just fasting all day but also getting Maya ready for school, cleaning the kitchen, going to work, and then rushing home to give Maya a bath and do some homework with her.”

Ali: “Yes.”

Initially I was just beside myself with irritation. But then I realized that if Ali hadn’t been so “considerate” I wouldn’t have anything to post today. So I guess I really should be thanking him?

105 Comments leave one →
  1. August 8, 2012 12:07 am

    Maybe you’re not as hungry because it’s so hot! That’s how I’ve been feeling this week.

    • August 8, 2012 6:09 pm

      The heat definitely doesn’t help my appetite…so true.

  2. August 8, 2012 12:08 am

    Haha, Ali always comes up with great ideas for your posts!! So sweet of him… 🙂

    • August 8, 2012 6:11 pm

      If I didn’t have Ali and his shenanigans I think I’d be posting even less. 🙂

  3. glamorous glutton permalink
    August 8, 2012 12:40 am

    Oooooh, I’m not sure I could see it as any kind of benefit! GG

    • August 8, 2012 6:11 pm

      I was grasping at straws…wasn’t sure what else to do GG.

  4. August 8, 2012 1:00 am

    Wow, was he really serious?
    Also, the proper thing to do with a peanut butter-y knife after using is to lick it clean. It baffles me, the ability to leave such scrumptious bits of food where they will need to be scrubbed off…

  5. August 8, 2012 1:10 am

    Oh wow, was he saying that seriously?
    Even if he were just joking, I would have exploded all over the place if I were you!
    You were PATIENT!!!

    • August 8, 2012 6:12 pm

      He was very serious! And I was uncharacteristically patient…

      • August 9, 2012 2:43 am

        Maybe it’s the spiritual effect of Ramadan…or possibly very low blood glucose level….

  6. alittlelessfluff permalink
    August 8, 2012 1:22 am

    I would have completely lost it. Seriously. You are a hell of a lot stronger (and patient) than I’ve been this last month. So more like well done to you! 🙂

    • August 8, 2012 6:12 pm

      I think that lack of food has made me weak. There is no other explanation for my calm reaction!

  7. Lady Jennie permalink
    August 8, 2012 1:55 am

    Oh. My gosh.

    I don’t know what to say.

  8. August 8, 2012 2:39 am

    I must admit – I like Ali’s thinking. Not only has he put you first for a change, he also gave you a thought while you were away – that must mean something? Beside, as you say, he is the reason why you wrote – which is another distraction from this challenging month.

  9. August 8, 2012 2:47 am

    Either Ali actually thought of you and wanted you to be occupied as you waited (in which case, it was really sweet-yet-misdirected of him) or he came up with that line in the few seconds it took to put on your yellow gloves (in which case he’s a smart, smart man). Either way, you’re a lucky woman, Ameena!! And an extremely patient one; I would have exploded first, fumed, and then picked up the gloves to clean 🙂

    • August 8, 2012 6:15 pm

      I must be productive as I fume…it’s just my multi-tasking nature!!

  10. August 8, 2012 4:14 am

    That was so thoughtful! I mean who doesn’t want to read, or watch a little TV, or call a friend, or just put her feet up at the end of a long day while she waits for the sun to set. Every girl wants to come home and clean the kitchen.

    • August 8, 2012 6:15 pm

      Put my feet up? That hasn’t happened and won’t ever happen. I’m sure!!

  11. August 8, 2012 4:20 am

    How thoughtful.

    Is it weird that I think he was being totally sincere and slightly clueless?

    • August 8, 2012 6:16 pm

      Oh he totally was…that’s the crazy part of the whole thing. What do you do with logic like that?

  12. August 8, 2012 5:54 am

    ohhhhh if i came home to that mess after cleaning, I’d be pissed!!!

    hope you are well and got to see a lovely sunset in the meantime 🙂

    • August 8, 2012 6:16 pm

      Another 1.5 hours until a sunset…I’m counting the minutes a little bit. 🙂

  13. August 8, 2012 6:10 am

    Oh goodness. Great post, but wow—I admire your patience. I’d have flown way the f*** off the handle.

    • August 8, 2012 6:17 pm

      It’s the new, calm me. Not sure it’s going to last long though…

  14. August 8, 2012 6:46 am

    I’m sorry but I hate dirty kitchens so I’m with you on this one. And I have friends who fast during Ramadan, it is not nice having to do tidying up and do something a little physical just before breaking roza! But husbands work in strange ways…perhaps it did take your mind off the hunger?

    • August 8, 2012 6:18 pm

      Well ultimately I was preoccupied by the entire escapade so I suppose it served a purpose?

  15. August 8, 2012 7:13 am

    Haha.. sorry but I know how you feel. It always irks me when I see dirty dishes in the sink piling up. I usually do the dishes then I make my husband put them away. That way he will think twice before he makes a mess in the sink. Maybe next time make Ali put the clean dishes away. That will give him something to do too. Right?

    • August 8, 2012 6:19 pm

      Ali put dishes away? I don’t anticipate that happening anytime soon. Especially since it’s barely happened thus far in our 12 years of marriage!

  16. August 8, 2012 7:40 am

    Wow!!! Ali, I think I would have lost it on him then “I was doing you a favor”. What the hell!!! Thumbs up on keeping your temper in check..I would have either wanted to slap him at that point or just become defeated and give him the silent treatment. LOL On that note here is a Giant hug!! XX

    • August 8, 2012 6:19 pm

      The silent treatment doesn’t work with him because he’s doesn’t talk much as it is. Actually I think he prefers I keep silent!! 🙂

  17. August 8, 2012 7:47 am

    omg ali. seriously. my eyes just rolled into the back of my head. bonus, fasting saves money on food? so he can buy you a nice gift for his ‘thing to do.’ 🙂

    • August 8, 2012 6:20 pm

      You’d think that I’d save money on food but somehow the frequent trips to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s keeps adding up!

  18. August 8, 2012 8:03 am

    I saw the dishes at the sink and cringed and reminded me of so many irritations that occur there. Recently, my husband left a uneaten yogurt cup with the spoon in it, just one step from the trash can and two steps from the sink. For. no. reason. No explanation. Oh I understand, my dear friend.

    • August 8, 2012 6:20 pm

      The yogurt cup is a regular around here. But I will say that Ali has started putting it in the recycling bin…sometimes. So we’ve made some progress!

  19. August 8, 2012 8:23 am

    I’m just amazed you could fast in this hot and humid day we’ve been having for this week @_@ I could go without eating but not drinking water is something that’s very challenging! Hang in there! I for one can’t stand dirty dishes in the sink either but can’t say much to my hubby since he’s mostly the one doing the cooking during weekdays as I need to go to bed very early to get up very early morning the next day.

    • August 8, 2012 6:21 pm

      Water doesn’t really get to me too much…it’s just my energy levels totally lag from lack of food.

  20. August 8, 2012 8:36 am

    How thoughtful, especially with a side of hunger pangs. But if it’s Ramadan, why are dirty dishes even generated during the day? Don’t tell me you are fasting alone?!

    • August 8, 2012 6:21 pm

      I am fasting alone…Ali doesn’t participate and Maya’s just a kid. So the dishes pile up anyway!

  21. August 8, 2012 9:43 am

    This would send any woman spiralling out of control… And what’s keeping Ali busy? They really know how to talk their way out of things…

    • August 8, 2012 6:22 pm

      What’s keeping Ali busy? His computer, of course. 🙂

  22. August 8, 2012 10:13 am

    There had better be something shiny coming your way for Eid! 🙂

    • August 8, 2012 6:22 pm

      I have a feeling it’ll be a shiny new pair of kitchen gloves. 🙂

  23. August 8, 2012 10:17 am

    Hmm…I don’t know. I definitely could’ve found other things to post about without getting irritated from the mess! =D

    • August 8, 2012 6:23 pm

      I wasn’t feeling inspired…at all. Must be lack of food!

  24. The Mom Chef permalink
    August 8, 2012 10:22 am

    No, really. What did he say as an excuse. He seriously didn’t say he was doing you a favor. I refuse to believe it.

    • August 8, 2012 6:25 pm

      You can refuse to believe it but it’s the truth MC. It’s the sad truth.

  25. August 8, 2012 12:14 pm

    Haha, silver lining! Also, ditto to the peanut butter thing. I used to have a (disgustingly sloppy) roommate who NEVER rinsed the pb off her knives and would leave them in the sink for me. I’m not sure if she thought that I ENJOYED scrubbing the crusty pb off of them for her every day, but if she did she was sorely mistaken. (Clearly, I’m not holding a grudge about it at all)

    • August 8, 2012 6:26 pm

      I don’t blame you for holding a grudge. Peanut butter is one of the most disgusting things when left in the sink!

  26. August 8, 2012 12:56 pm

    hahahaha wow, how nice of him!
    We had this problem at work, apparently because I’m the only girl, it’s assumed that I should wash everyone’s dishes. I think we both know that’s not happening. So instead I took a picture of the boss’s dog licking out a bowl, and made a sign saying he was our new dishwasher, and anything left out at the end of the day would be cleaned by him. Since then, no one has left a single dish in the sink. 🙂

    • August 8, 2012 6:29 pm

      Wow…you are a brave lady Leah!! I’d fear leaving a dish in your sink too.

  27. August 8, 2012 1:23 pm

    Well you know I would have been so mad if I came home and saw that. You should have made HIM do it but then you probably would have had to wait and I know it’s totally anxiety provoking to see that kind of disaster. Did he really think he was doing you a favor?? Shaking head in disbelief!!

    • August 8, 2012 6:30 pm

      That’s exactly right…he would have left everything indefinitely and I can’t handle a dirty kitchen for very long.

  28. August 8, 2012 1:52 pm


  29. August 8, 2012 2:33 pm

    I’m really, really, really curious to know what happened after ‘Ali: “Yes.”’ 😀 😀 😀

    • August 8, 2012 6:31 pm

      I cleaned the kitchen and pondered why Ali is the way he is.

      • August 9, 2012 8:27 am

        Then I’m really, really, really amazed at your patience & keeping up your resolution, Ameena! 🙂

  30. August 8, 2012 3:23 pm

    My husband pulls this crap all the time and it sends me through the roof. My other new favorite: he leaves ten different pairs of shoes right in the middle of a room or in front of a door so that I trip over them and break my neck. Apparently he has no concern for his unborn child, at least when it comes to the hazards of tripping and falling. Men!

    • August 8, 2012 6:32 pm

      Ali used to do that but not anymore. Now Maya has taken over and she leaves her stuff in the middle of the floor so we can trip all over it. Sigh…

  31. August 8, 2012 3:34 pm

    I will say this – I am glad it’s not just my hubby who come up with ‘explanations’ that just make me want to sock him 🙂 Ali is sure at his creative best with this one and you’re doing a REALLY GOOD JOB starving AND not socking him in the face 🙂

    chow 🙂 DEVAKI @ weavethousandflavors

    BTW, It’s not just Ali. On weekends I come home from teaching my culinary classes to find the sink and counter-top filthy and hubby & kids lounging in front of the idiot box 🙂 Yah – I get it.

    • August 8, 2012 6:33 pm

      Socking him in the face…I love it.

      If you were a bit closer I’d attend your culinary class…I could use some serious help in the kitchen!

  32. August 8, 2012 4:28 pm

    Thoughtful as usual Ali. Honestly though I do understand his reasoning, was he sincere? If so it’s actually kind of sweet.

    • August 8, 2012 6:33 pm

      He was very sincere….that’s the sad/scary part!

  33. August 8, 2012 5:47 pm

    Please tell me he was joking, lol!

  34. August 9, 2012 1:48 am

    Haha and once again, your husband shows that his thoughtfulness has no ends ;)! I usually break my fasts (I fast every Monday) around 7pm and that waiting period from 6.30 to 7 is probably my most productive…I will agree to do almost any chore just to keep me busy and avoid clock watching!

    • August 13, 2012 7:19 pm

      I agree…I am SO productive while I count down. Which is what I’m doing right now. Just 23 more minutes!

  35. August 9, 2012 1:22 pm

    Awww… you really handled yourself well, I SCREAM! and throw tantrums. I can’t waking up to dirty dishes, let alone if my husband makes a mess. you’re patient girl!

    • August 13, 2012 7:20 pm

      Not usually…this is the new me. Let’s see how long she sticks around. 🙂

  36. August 10, 2012 8:53 am

    There is a certain point where it’s actually acceptable to toss things in the bin. I think this is the point where I would draw the line and do it. The amount of sanity it saves would vastly outweight the cost of replacement items.

    • August 13, 2012 7:20 pm

      “The bin.” I love it. Suddenly I feel like I’m in the UK again.

  37. August 10, 2012 9:40 pm

    Oh, what a lesson in moral superiority. Marriage often appears as another spiritual test of restraining from some kind of second degree crime. Now….at least there wasn’t FOOD left out for you to clean up.

    • August 13, 2012 7:21 pm

      This is true. Food = bugs = me going insane. Ali knows his limits!!

  38. August 11, 2012 4:10 am

    having to clean up after an entire day of fasting is really terrible. You really have a lot of patience for somehow finding the humour in all this. Just a few more days and it will be Eid…

  39. August 11, 2012 2:49 pm

    Thanking him? He needs an ASS kickin’!!!


    • August 13, 2012 7:21 pm

      Well of course he does. 🙂 I was trying to be polite!

  40. August 11, 2012 4:19 pm

    why does she have homework in August?

    • August 13, 2012 7:22 pm

      Because I am trying to get her up to speed on subtraction. Let’s hope my work did some good!

  41. August 11, 2012 11:32 pm

    Ok, LOL is all I can say about this. Amazing what men can think of as a helpful behavior.

    • August 13, 2012 4:13 am

      Amazing is right!! Their logic is just…beyond me.

  42. August 12, 2012 2:56 am

    i actually hardly noticed the dishes as i was focussing on your counter! beautiful granite!!
    ali must be a quick thinker to come up with that reply!!

    • August 13, 2012 7:23 pm

      Thank you! The best part of the granite is that it hides a whole lot of mess. 🙂

  43. August 12, 2012 4:10 am

    haha patience is what he was trying to teach you! but yea anyone would have gotten mad like you did!!!

    • August 13, 2012 4:12 am

      Maybe Ali is trying to teach me something! Good point. 🙂

  44. anywherethereisanairport permalink
    August 12, 2012 6:10 am

    Thank him? With a punch in the face! Too harsh? Absolutely not. You are a saint.

    • August 13, 2012 4:12 am

      You are too funny….and you are also probably the only person who thinks I am a saint! 🙂

  45. August 13, 2012 9:36 am

    So funny 🙂 he does give you a lot to write about 🙂

  46. August 13, 2012 10:31 am

    I can’t believe he was serious! Amazing. You are a better person than I am. I would’ve made him clean the kitchen.

    • August 13, 2012 7:23 pm

      Ali clean the kitchen? I don’t think I’ll ever see that happen!

  47. August 13, 2012 7:03 pm

    I love the fact that you’ve posted a real photo on your blog. I often think about posting a “real” shot of what my kitchen (or house) looks like while I’m cooking. I also enjoyed your reading list — I’m going to pick one of your recommendations for my upcoming cottage vacation. Thanks for dropping by my site!

    • August 13, 2012 7:24 pm

      Thanks for all the compliments! And for appreciating my dirty kitchen. 🙂 I hope you like the recommendations…

  48. August 14, 2012 11:50 am

    Lol! The excuses husband’s gives, it’s mind boggling 😉 Kudos on you for being patience.

  49. August 16, 2012 12:53 am

    What would you do without Ali? 🙂

  50. August 24, 2012 12:09 am

    how very considerate of him. how very 😛

  51. August 28, 2012 8:59 am

    Men!! Coast to coast and regardless of their background…they are Messy!!


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