hidden talents
One of my greatest talents is my ability to suck the fun out of any situation.
For example, when Maya and Ali chase each other through the house every evening, screaming bloody murder, I scream back that our child-hating neighbor is going to call the police and that I’m not going to care when the cops take them both away because I’ll finally enjoy some peace and quiet.
Yeah, I’m not sure why I can’t just enjoy the fact that they’re spending “quality time” together either.
Anyway my Ramadan-observing, reflective self decided to look into the error of my ways. And I realized that my talent is borne of my inherent need for Control and Order, my irritation at my husband and child’s total disregard for civility, my general lack of patience, and the fact that if I’m not going to be the responsible one in this family, there will be total chaos.
So now that I’ve identified my latest shortcoming, I’ve decided to try to remedy it. This means that I will try my hardest not to assign Maya a page from her Brain Quest workbook
I’m also going to stop remarking, “I guess dinner is going to magically appear on the table, all on it’s own,” as Ali sits in front of the TV watching hours upon hours of the Top Gear.
I took Maya for a pedicure and didn’t comment on the fact that she changed her mind on the color 3 times. Or that she smudged her nails twice. Progress?
And finally, I’m going to stop worrying that “The Experts” are right and that this blog – something I started for absolutely no reason other than to have fun making fun of Ali and Maya – is going to lose readership now that I no longer have time to post on a consistent schedule.
So if my traffic goes down because I blog when I have time instead of every Tuesday and Friday at 12:01 am? I think I’ll survive.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
Hmmm, I also get annoyed by some of the things you mentioned. To wit: uncontrollable gigglers, loud people, and people who sit by while I do all the work. And I realize that’s because I am jealous that I Iack this amazing talent for relaxation.
God, it must be nice to be better at it…relaxing, that is…
People who sit by while I do all the work…I LIVE this. 24/7… 🙂
I agree, and I think you will survive – as ‘change’ sometimes is needed. The life of a consistent routine can only get boring.
I actually really love a consistent routine…although I know it’s not the best thing for me. Or anyone!
I love that you blog so late because I’m always up at this time and one of the first ppl to read/comment 😛 Thanks for making me feel special! haha
PS. Take me to get a pedicure too 😛
Thank you for being up so late and commenting!! 🙂
Your blog will totally survive if you only post when you have time. I may perish, but your blog will go on.
My little guy giggles uncontrollably. In the car. It makes me absolutely crazy!!! Like spinning head demon voice crazy. Oh! And my older son broke his nose rough-housing and jumping on the bed when he was four. So now you have more verbal ammunition to justify the stress.
He broke his nose? I can’t even imagine. I feel like breaking bones is exclusive to boys?
I would rather you only post once or twice a week than not at all. I need the snark!!!!
Have a wonderful day, Ameena!
Glad you appreciate the snark Amy. 🙂
you’ll survive, you gotta blog when it works for you. I think most of us will still be around!
I hope so!
You and your blog will survive & even thrive. I’ll always read them! I’m the opposite, I love it when my husband plays rough-housing with the kids. Because that means, they will leave me alone! 🙂
But then don’t they come over whining that “daddy hurt my elbow/arm/knee, etc?” Drives me crazy.
Oh my gosh, yes– uncontrollable laughing has the tendency to drive me crazy (and to make me wonder and feel self-conscious about why I’m not laughing myself).
Blog when you want, definitely. My readership has gone down since I’ve stopped blogging twice a day (what was I thinking?!?), but I’m much more sane. 🙂
Twice a day? I can’t even imagine. I can’t even do twice a week anymore!
Totally feeling your pain! When I used to live back home, I used to get so annoyed because every time I tidy up the living room, my siblings would just bring out more stuff and the havoc prevails. In the end I gave up…but it’s good to have the privilege of having control of my surroundings now. I should probably remember not to take this for granted 😛
I’ve never had the privilege of controlling my surroundings. Maybe when I’m old and living in a retirement home?
I do love having control over my flat, but I’d give it up any time to live with my family! 😛 I guess I’m quite Oriental/South-Asian in that sense; I’d love to live with my parents even when I get completely independent. I don’t think living home is necessarily equal to lack of independence. I might even be able to pay my parents’ bills/rent/other expenses if I’m successful but still stay close to them…or maybe I’m just crazy to think that that’s not pathetic 😛
I don’t think it’s pathetic at all! I think it’s amazing that you want to live with your parents…that means they are normal, well-adjusted people. Hopefully Maya will think the same about me one day!
There is no way you’re losing readers! I can guarantee that!
And patience is something I think I’ll be working on for the rest of my life…we’re all a work in progress, right?!
I’m definitely a work in progress so yes!
I can totally relate to endless giggles from my two nieces who are about the same age as Maya. And about losing your readers, that wont happen 🙂 We all love hearing from you because annoyance, irritation and need for peace is something that we all go through and the only difference is you share your experience with us and most of us dont. You rock 🙂
You rock Dixya. Thanks for the great comment. 🙂
That is sooo me. The hubs and my son sit enjoying their ice cream, completely oblivious to half of it dripping on to the floor, and then I enter, screaming and crashing their beautiful time and space. Sigh!!! And don’t worry about your readers..we’ll always be here :-))
So glad someone can relate Fab! So so glad.
I’ll take giggles over senseless crying anyday!
Now this is an excellent point! How quickly I’ve forgotten how bad the crying was…
How fantastic are your sandals?!? Oh, and I love the idea of mommy-daughter pedicures 🙂
Thanks my friend. The sandals came from my MIL. Of course!
Did you blog on a schedule? I don’t think I ever noticed….I just read when I saw it posted. I have a feeling the ‘experts’ will be wrong.
I love it when Hubby is able to grab Dudette’s attention away from me. I pray for those moments, even if they’re noisy. In my little sphere, it suddenly becomes quiet.
Well I tried to blog on a schedule, twice a week. Not sure how successful that was?
I wouldn’t beat yourself up for being a sourpuss curmudgeon in your house. I am the exact same way. Someone has to keep it together. And clearly it isn’t going to be Husband (who also likes Top Gear, by the way). And I like being a curmudgeon. It’s an underrated quality, really.
Curmudgeon sounds way better than anything else I can come up with. Love it.
No, you are not the only one. This morning I tell the kiddo to quit lollygagging in bed and to get ready for camp. She hangs herself half over the side of her loft bed giggling uncontrollably staring right at me. I tell her to stop it, and to get a move on and warn her not to jump off from the side board (cheap Ikea furniture, don’t want it to get worn and fall off). She continues giggling maniacally and leaps off.
Ugh.
Please, if you go away without your family, please take me with you I promise to be quiet and out of the way.
From the Ikea furniture to the lollygagging. You have no idea how much I’m laughing right now. And relating!!
Thanks so much for reading Will. I appreciate it.
Let me be terribly cliched and say ‘it’s not quantity, it’s about the quality,’ We love you Ameena, and your posts are witty, sharp and basically awesome, so your site stats will be just fine! Oh and those are some very pretty sandals. One bejewelled strappy sandal is a must in every lady’s wardrobe.
And I love you and your super complimentary comments. Thank you my friend. Thank you!
I think we might be the same person!
Love your honesty 🙂
Katie
Thanks Katie! I love that you read the honesty! 🙂
haven’t had a pedi since january?! yikes. did you know some olympians are keeping Ramadan? that’s intense! i can’t imagine competing fasted for that long. i have been fasting ~16-18hrs lately (just due to a busy schedule no particular reason) and am pretty worthless towards the end. think i’m depending waaaaay too much of coffee to keep me going lol.
Really? They are fasting and competing? Suddenly I feel…unaccomplished.
And oddly enough, coffee is one thing I just don’t care for during Ramadan. It’s all about the food.
I can tell you this. Though I’m single and childless, I already know that when that situation changes I will absolutely be the killer of fun in my family. I think it’s partially the female instinct to create a well-balanced, organized, happy home, right?
Blogging schedules/frequency are overrated. You are a likeable writer and person and people will always come back to your blog because of that fact. Go have fun with your family, we’ll be here waiting for the next escapade. 🙂
I actually think you are on to something…it’s the female instinct to keep order and civility. So true.
And thanks for reading about my escapades. And for considering me a likeable person! Not sure everyone would agree. 🙂
I took a long break and I’m back. Don’t beat yourself up way too much. Priorities are priorities. Go have fun and looking forward to the next post. No pressure of course 😉
Welcome back Kiran. It’s nice to see you commenting again!
When it comes to patience, compared to me, you are a saint. You should see the way I yell at Purvi and S at times. I console myself thinking that it is the same with all women.
Trust me…there is no way your temper could be worse than mine. No. Way!
It’s your blog, post when you want and don’t worry about anyone else. I for one will read your posts even if they are once per year! I dont care about my numbers (good thing 😉
And such cute sandals btw!!
The numbers shouldn’t matter…but of course they do! Comments like yours help me remember that they shouldn’t. 🙂
Agreed. Blog whenever you want! The schedule part only really means something when you’re getting paid to write on time.
I wish I was paid to write. At any time!
Yeah right, like we really care about the experts?!
Hope your fasting is going well!
I really love your sandals how pretty!!
Fasting is going. Fairly well I’d say! And thanks for the compliment. 🙂
Forget the “experts” and blog when you can. If it makes you feel better, I haven’t blogged anything since April. Yeah, turns out two newborns are pretty time consuming and whenever I think about putting something on there I realize a post written by my sleep deprived brain about bottles and diapers and more bottles and then more diapers and then my detailed fantasy about running away to the Bahamas where no child can find me is nothing anyone needs or wants to read.
If I had two newborns I probably wouldn’t be able to find the energy to turn on a computer, nevermind blog or comment. You are an amazing star Heather.
Experts, Schmexperts. Blog when you have time. I’ll be reading whether you post twice a week or twice a month. 🙂
And I thank you for that Heather! 🙂
I love your honesty and ability to make fun of yourself 🙂
Thanks Jolene. And thanks for reading!
I didn’t realize you posted on Tue/Fri schedule. Whenever I visited your blog on some days and didn’t see an update from what I’ve last read, I would go read your past posts. (you may have sometimes noticed my comments on several of your old posts…) That’s the power of your blog, to keep a reader interested and glued to your writing, stories, humor, sarcasm, and I can go on. I can bet many will agree with me. So whether you post irregularly or not here on, you’re never losing traffic and readers 🙂
BTW I love your sandals (and all your footwear, dressing, everything so far).
And like how you’re trying to be more patient. I’m getting inspired. At least for today; not sure how long it’ll last on me 😀
I love that you read my old stuff and leave me comments. It’s so great to go back and read things I forgot about!
And your compliments? So appreciated. Thank you.
OMG! I cant stand the giggling too! I feel so much better! 🙂
I’m so glad that someone else can relate to my ridiculous irritation at it!!
It’s not ‘your’ fault Ameena-I see your second toe is longer than your big toe. Blame that!! Well, according to some Indians(and you are one after all), if your second toe is longer than your big toe, then you will be the bossy one/control freak. Such people are often advised to cover the feet when “the guy comes home to see the girl ” 😉
In other countries they believe that you have a Royal lineage!!
So blame “the toe” Ameena 😉
Oh-did I forget to mention that my second toe is bigger than my big toe?
Okay so I never noticed my second toe was longer. I guess this makes sense!! I am super bossy and I need to have control of everything. I’m going to blame the toe now. 🙂 Love it Sweta!
Firstly a belated Ramadan Kareem, friend! Rest assured that no matter how busy you get yours will always be one of my must-read blogs. I’m only just starting to realise that I won’t be able to devote as much time to my own now that I’m no longer a lowly unemployed student, but hey I suppose there are worse things in life! 😉
Ramadan Kareem to you too. We are halfway done, yay!
And thank you for putting me on your must-read list. I appreciate it. 🙂
True story – my dad used to chase my brother around the house at night, and my mom used to yell at me for “laughing so loud.” I think thats just called parenthood.
Also, I really like the shoes you’re wearing in that picture.
My parents used to get so annoyed with us for laughing. Now I get it.
~~Love reading your family stories- & your honesty is my fav. part.
Loooooooooooooooove those shoes. Nice toes. X
Thanks my friend. For all the compliments, including the one about the toes!
The Experts also fail to appreciate Excellent Hair, Most Carbs and Living Life. For what it’s worth, it took me until about two years ago to get it together, smudging-wise, so there’s still hope for Maya.
Blog on whatever schedule you like, but just know that if you try to go off the grid (how obnoxious and retro) I will be on the first flight out to LAX.
Not obnoxious. Not retro. I’d expect no less than a visit Kat. 🙂
i really wonder if non-Indian men do any work? my husband sits in front of the tv or computer all the time.. but I don’t cook everyday, but i do have to wonder what’s for dinner, heat the food. with a kid, you don’t really have a choice.
omg, i love your pedicure, it’s so sweet to be able to do these things with a little girl.. love your toes.
Prior to Maya I think we ate…nothing. Now I have to make an effort and it’s hard!
Your blog will survive and so will you 🙂 Love the pedicures 🙂
Thanks Ayala!
It’s for sure fun to have comments but I am with you, who cares about expert opinion if it makes you nuts, a blog is supposed to be fun, I think sometimes we forget that. I used to post 3x a week and now I am all over the place. I will not be a slave to this (since I already am one to my kids).
“I will not be a slave to this.” So true. Well said.
Wait, if we all love it as you “suck the fun out of situations” what does that say about us? And my blogging would not make the experts proud but I realized I didn’t have to post M, W and F and that the world would go on. Maybe we’re becoming less rigid, uh oh.
Apparently we are mirroring each other on opposite coasts!
Your traffic won’t go down. Us diehards are your loyal email subscribers so we know exactly when you post. Unfortunately I can’t comment as frequently as I’d like to because I am at work all day and cannot access blog sites from work. But I am reading them on my iphone!
Thanks Sam for reading. And I totally know how hard it is to comment from an iPhone!
Hi Ameena,
I enjoy reading your blog and look forward to your posts. But we all have things to do other than blogging even though it is a lot of fun. And I guess that’s what it is- just having fun with it.
Exactly! I’m finally figuring that out Asmita!
Blogging takes up a lot of time and although it has been fun, I have been asking myself how long I can keep this up as well! Taking time off might be a good thing. You will be missed of course, but you will survive 🙂 Take care Ameena.
If you blog when and what your heart wants, then the readers will stay, because we like the truth of each other. At least, this has been my experience 🙂
Well said Hannah…I never want to write something just to write it.
You’ll survive. I’ll always be here!! 🙂
Thanks Olie! 🙂
The endless giggles drive me over the top if you dont shutup I will drown you in loo crazy… Adoption is always an option!
You have no idea how tempted I am Charlotte….
Oh I do… I have 2… but then again you have a girl child and a man child
Hey – I will always come back because I love your blog. And are you sure your lack of patience isn’t due to extreme hunger and thirst? Mine would be.
On another note, Maya’s penpal gets tortured with BrainQuest too.
Normally hunger gets me in a really bad mood…not sure what’s going on with me but I’m pretty sure that’s not affecting me as much as I thought it would!
Control and order?? Right.HERE! As the Spaniard is now living stateside and we are doing that whole husband and wife in the same country / household thing… I am constantly having to reign in my comments. Sometimes my filter works. Sometimes it doesn’t.
My filter only works on certain days as well…depends on my overall mood??
The Brain Quest workbook totally reminded me of my elementary school years when my parents had me memorize my times tables, the capitals of the fifty states, and work from those 3rd/4th/5th grade workbooks 😛