maybe?
It all started with a pair of pants.
More specifically, a pair of khaki pants that someone threw outside their closet last week and onto the floor of our bedroom. This was passive-aggressive code for: “It’s high time my wife visited the dry cleaner.”
Now normally I am on it. But I just haven’t had a whole lot of time lately, especially since I’m working more than ever. So the pants remained on the floor.
Then things were added to it. Lots of things. Sweaters, ties, shirts, and more pants (but not the orange sweater, in case you were wondering).
And the pile grew.
Eventually the pile was so large that I had to steer a couple of feet out of my way just to go from my closet to the bedroom hallway. But the pile remained.
Until finally, a whole 7 days later I picked up the huge pile and hauled it to the dry cleaners.
This was the pile...in better times.
So what’s so remarkable about a pile of dirty clothes you’re wondering? Well two things actually:
- I didn’t scream, yell, nag, or even address the pile with my husband. For 7 days. How’s that for impressive?
- I got a text that the dry cleaning was picked up. By Ali. And I didn’t even have to ask!
Maybe good things do happen to those who wait. Which means that maybe, after we’ve been married another 11 years, my husband will actually stop throwing his s@#$ on the floor and expect me to take care of it.
Maybe?
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
HAHAHA Ameena, point number 2 is never going to happen! Men never change that way unless constantly policed and I don’t have the energy for that 🙂 My laundry basket is always crying for help and I ignore it as long as I can!
I’ve been policing for 11 years. I’m tired!
LOL!! Love it!!
BTW: Does Ali read your blog??
He certainly does. He doesn’t learn anything from it but he reads it….
No Ameena I agree with Beetlebuggy, men NEVER change 🙂 🙂 though we may be become even more patient 🙂 🙂
I’m hoping to become more patient…especially if I have a long road ahead of me!
Well it seems as though there has been progress on both sides of the fence. No yelling from you – and actual initiative from Ali. It’s a day to celebrate. If only you the dry cleaner would lose the orange sweater… and the dishes would make their way into the dishwasher. Ahhh… we can’t have it all. 🙂
I can’t celebrate…I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. 🙂
wow he is the man, doesnot need asking he does it anyway 🙂
This was the first, and likely the last time it will happen – I’m sure!
Haha loving the tags on this post! But that is progress – I’m impressed! You should get Maya to loan Ali one of her gold stars or something.
So glad that people read my tags…I think they are the most interesting part of my post! 🙂
Did he pick up the dry cleaning to be nice or because he wanted/needed the clothes.
Good question. It’s likely the latter!
Ali’s method may have been a little passive, but at least he didn’t ask you to take his clothes to the dry cleaner while on sitting at his computer. AND he picked them up! Win win, my friend!
I guess when you have low expectations (like I now do) this would be considered a win-win!
First I think both Ali and you have secret resolutions this year, you are trying to be more patient (see point 1) and Ali being a more helpful husband (see point 2) . Clearly are y’all trying to out do each other? I’m impressed!!!!!
I’m sure there is no competition here…I will never be patient and Ali will never be helpful. 🙂
I can so appreciate this right now. Our pile was sitting on the kitchen counter, and although I vowed not to take it to the dry cleaners, I did because I can’t stand anything on my counters, but I’m refusing to pick it up. It was ready 5 days ago…you give me hope that CD’s pants will not remain at the cleaners for all eternity. 😉
Hope is all we have Heather. And really, I can’t stand anything on the counters either!
Sorry Ameena, I’m with Ali on this one. The fact that he put his cloths in a pile that ‘needed’ a clean indicates he just does not sit there watching TV, playing games or on this phone. He is a man (a married one too) who is aware of his surroundings.
The fact that he picked the stuff up from the dry cleaners with any form of prompt from you, suggests either 1. His new year resolution was to make more effort around the house and with the married relationship, and/or 2. He loves you and realises you are having a hard time with everything at the moment.
My friend…you can obviously see the good in anyone. That’s a characteristic I need to develop! 🙂
Wow, you should win an award for not yelling at Ali! 7 days?? I would be pouting 🙂
Well.. at least he picked them out from the dry cleaner without being told. There is hope!
Have a great weekend! 🙂
7 whole days. I can’t believe it either!
Nope.
After almost 9 years of marriage, it has yet to change.
I blame my mullet wearing mother in law for doing everything for him. He expects that now.
Does your MIL really have a mullet? Really?
Maybe he’ll change, but another 11 years is a long time to wait. You seem to be the one changing, I used to be extremely impatient too but with practice have got myself under control. When dealing with crazy people (my kids) I’ve had no choice.
I have my own crazy people to deal with so I can relate…
That’s very funny…I deal with the same thing. My problem is that Ralph has piles like that all over the house and thinks nothing of it. It’s his only flaw. 😉
Is that really his only flaw? That is amazing!
I like it! Counter his passive-aggressive actions by making him wait! Everything eventually gets done without incident!
I must say though, I hate the wait!!
hahahaha I love this. Sometimes I wonder what men would do on their own. I mean, as the only girl at work, the crap I have to fix for them is incredible. Sometimes I’m amazed they even manage to make it here in the morning.
At a different job a few years ago I was the only female. I can relate!!
a responsible husband…thats all a lady needs
Exactly!
I would have held out. Eventually he would have run out of clothes and taken them there himself, or at the very least addressed you about the matter. I’m so thankful that Hubby does our laundry. 🙂
What? He does the laundry? I’m sort of speechless right now, and that doesn’t happen often.
You have great self-restraint! I would have thrown the pile into my bf’s face when he walked in the door…
I was tempted…not going to lie.
There have been countless piles on our floors. I HATE it that he does that but I’ve been learning to cut back on the nag factor. There is a dry cleaning service at his work so if he can just remember to take his dirty stuff to work then he’s all good. What a good wife you are for being the dry cleaning service! And he showed his appreciation by picking it up. Maybe it will happen again someday.
BTW-still sick! The cold won’t quit but I was able to sleep well with meds and thank goodness I’ll be off Friday. Have a good weekend.
They have a dry cleaning service at work? Now that’s a fabulous idea!!
Feel better my friend…
Seems like an evenly balanced passive-aggressive equation to me. I wonder if this would apply well to my dating life…worth a shot, right?
It’s definitely worth a shot…although I don’t know if I’m qualified to give any type of relationship advice!
You crack me up. I told my sister in law that I have this dream where when I leave the kids with my husband I’ll come home to the house being put together, sparkling and beautiful just the way I would have it. That dream hasn’t quite come true yet. Oh well, such as life…Have a great weekend. Shauna
I’m just going to be straight with you Shauna…that dream will NEVER come true. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. 😦
I’ve very familiar with that pile. I decided to just buy another laundry basket so when the first one errupts, I can at least move the overflow into another one. Because doing my own laundry is enough, if he can’t keep up with his, at least keep it off the floor.
Oddly enough, Ali has more laundry than me too. I don’t get how that’s possible? But it is.
wow! now thats impressive. The not nagging, jk. But dare i say i am seeing progress in Ali?
😉
Maybe a tiny bit. Like the tiniest bit ever.
7 days is patience my friend! I used to lose it when my brother would leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight!
Dirty dishes are the worst. I’d rather see laundry than dirty dishes!
He went to the dry cleaners by himself!? I’m such a proud reader.
Have a great weekend, friend. 🙂
He did Jenna! He really did!
haha. I love your posts Ameena. When I check my blogroll, yours is the first blog I check to see if it’s new. I guess you’ve developed patience.. if his stuff is in my way, i pick it up and throw it on his side. Marriage is hard man!!!
I’m the first one you look at? I am so honored – really. Thank you my friend! And yes, marriage is HARD.
i hate piles of sh*t on the floor!!! we are so the same about all this stuff.
Same situation? I am so sorry to hear that Daisy!
Baby steps. I have learned that piles are just part of my reality. When they piss me off, I simply kick them under the bed where I can’t see them. Can’t find your shirt? Not my problem…next time put it in a laundry basket and it will be returned to you clean!
I’ve tried the out of sight, out of mind thing but it doesn’t work for me! Especially with dirty things….
Piles on the floor? Wow, I could not tolerate that. Dusty bunnies… well, I could grow a hutch of those I confess, but I’m too much of an expensive clothes hound to dis the threads by letting them hit the floor. What’s next? Ali blowing his nose into an Hermes scarf? (j/k Ali xo)
Ali wouldn’t know a Hermes scarf from a Kleenex. Sad, but true!
Wait.
Dry cleaned khakis?
!!!!?????!!!
Of course! Otherwise you can guess who’d be washing and ironing them.
Yup. The dry cleaner it is….
The fact that you succeeded at #1 means that you most definitely owe yourself a treat. Be it massage, copious amounts of sushi or a new bag. Right now my efforts are dedicated to making sure that the cutting board is put away. It’s a real journey.
A real journey is right. And now that you mention it, I need to go get sushi. And a massage!
The lesson from this is along the lines of absence makes the heart grow fonder:
Lack of wearable clothes make the husband more helpful.
That sounded more funny in my head.
I get it! So maybe if there was a lack of food and clean dishes he’d actually do more around here?
Methinks its worth a shot:)
–Ameena,
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, Men.
Don’t ya just love ‘um?
xx
Not really. 😦
Hahaha – I WAS wondering about the orange sweater, so thanks for throwing that in there 😉
No problem. Rest assured the orange sweater is still very much center stage!!
You know, I’ll be honest. Ryan does some pretty great things for me. He does all my laundry. Can you believe it? I can’t. I almost am afraid that I’m going to jinx something by typing this. CRAZY LOVELY MAN.
I can’t believe it. Really, it’s too much to process.
I refuse to by clothing that needs to go to the cleaners. Too much of a hassle. My husband also thinks the bedroom floor is his dirty hamper. Most irritating. Didn’t their mothers teach them better?
I think it’s an inherent quality…because every male I know is a total slob.
So funny, and seriously impressive that you went 7 days and didn’t complain or anything. Since we live on base and I pass by the dry cleaner every day on my way from the gym to the post office, dropping off the dry cleaning is no biggie for me. Then again, when we live in the real world again, I have a feeling it may be more of a drag. I’m lucky, Ryan doesn’t toss his stuff on the floor (maybe I should thank the military). They learn how to stay However, we do pile things up on the dresser during the week, and then put them away over the weekend. At least it’s not the floor.
If I had a son I would send him to military school – this would ensure he knows how to pick up after himself!
I admire your patience. I would have thrown a fit. But now I have a housekeeper, so no worries!
We have a fabulous housekeeper but she only comes once a week. The rest of the time I am picking up after everyone!
I think that shows remarkable constraint.
You are one dignified lady.
Not sure I’ve ever heard anyone say that about me before… 🙂
Even with so much policing, we tend to live our lives so miserably, they don’t change and live their life vicariously.
It’s better to just ignore.
I want to live vicariously too! It just doesn’t seem to be in my genetic makeup. (make up? not sure if that would be one word or two?)
I can appreciate the text msg, but I don’t think he’ll ever stop throwing stuff on the floor. That’s either part of your genetic code or it’s not. At least, that’s what I tell myself when I’m picking Jonathan’s stuff up off the floor. *sigh*
Genetic code! Exactly the word I was looking for in my previous reply.
I think the only way he’ll stop throwing things on the floor is if you refuse to pick them up EVER. But it depends on how high your tolerance level is for stepping around the pile of clothes.
I’ve tried to stop picking things up but they just keep piling up!
You are too funny Ameena, I would have ended up placing it on his laptop 🙂
Now that’s a good idea!!
haha, this reminded me of an ‘everybody loves raymond’ episode… 😀
Funny…that used to be one of Ali’s favorite shows!
Ummm throwing $#!% on the floor is never going to stop. Unless you place it all in his closet. I did that once. Worked for a week.
Are you kidding? He wouldn’t care if his closet was overflowing!!
Your husband shouldn’t be setting this example for your daughter either she will do the same one day for you with her clothes and then God forbid the grandchildren one day in the future or she will think if she marries she will have to be her husbands slave. Ahhhhhhh Ameena do something quick.
Agreed! He is setting a terrible example. 😦
so is this move a universal husband move? Cause I justttt picked up a few items from the floor…unfortunately I don’t need to haul them to the dry cleaners cause they are just REGULAR dirty clothes he left for me to do the laundry with. WTF.
Sorry to say it’s pretty universal. I hate to be the one to break it to you. Forgive me.
I don’t know what’s worse, having clothes scattered everywhere (as in my home) or having one big pile of clothes. Either way, I think I lose. Argh. Some days I wonder why I even have a hamper.
Exactly! It’s like, do they not see the hamper? The big giant white hamper? It’s mystifying.