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fat thighs

December 16, 2011

The good news: I started a new job and I love it.

The bad news: Due to a lack of time I didn’t have a chance to put together a coherent post, so I’m about to share the most bizarre conversation I may have ever had with my husband instead.

Ali: “Have you ever run in place?”

Me: “What?”

Ali: “Have you ever run in place? Lifting your knees really high?”

Me: “I guess so. Especially back when I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred regularly.”

Ali: “Lifting your knees really high is a good way to work out fat thighs.”

Me: “Are you implying that I have fat thighs?”

Ali: “No.”

Me: “So what is the point of this conversation?”

Ali: “I’m saying that you used to have fat thighs.”

Me: “Oh really? And when was that?”

Ali: “I don’t remember. A while back I guess.”

*If I ever allowed such a photo to exist, I would insert a photo of my fat thighs here*

So apparently I had fat thighs at some point in the not so distant past. Maybe I still have fat thighs and Ali was too scared to be that honest.

In any case, the main focus here should be: what on earth is my husband trying to accomplish by randomly mentioning the word “fat” and “thighs” in a sentence directed to me?

It’s no freaking wonder that I can’t eat a cookie without having a 15 minute mental debate about it.

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137 Comments leave one →
  1. December 16, 2011 12:14 am

    Ouch, now that was harsh. Was he having a bad day at work?

    • December 16, 2011 1:46 pm

      This conversation occurred on Sunday so I don’t think so. His comments usually have no rhyme or reason Anita…

  2. December 16, 2011 2:49 am

    That is so weird! I can not fathom that YOU have ever had that thighs.
    If it makes you feel any better, Mr P has said something equally strange to me in the past: that I used to have fat knees (but I know that this is kinda true)… still, very strange.
    Congrats and good luck on your new job! Cant wait to hear more about it.
    *kisses* HH

    • December 16, 2011 1:47 pm

      I can’t fathom that you’ve ever had fat knees.

      Besides that, what a random thing to note. I mean, who really looks at another person’s knees?

  3. December 16, 2011 4:25 am

    I can’t imagine that you ever fat thighs 🙂 you look great!

  4. December 16, 2011 4:38 am

    No, Ali, no! The truth is, (a)men are dumb and he probably didn’t realize he was being insensitive and (b) you never had fat thighs, so have that cookie without fear.

    • December 16, 2011 1:48 pm

      He doesn’t mean to be insensitive…I know that about him. And yet I have to wonder…filter Ali? Do you have one?

  5. December 16, 2011 5:09 am

    As a bloke, I’m not sure if having ‘fat thighs’ is actually a bad thing. That said, right now I totally sympathise with Ali – simply because he will be facing the wrath and rage from women on this blog. Ali if you are reading this then dude – all the best.

    • December 16, 2011 1:49 pm

      I showed Ali your comment…he is pleased to have one person on his side.

  6. December 16, 2011 6:04 am

    Don’t believe it, it isn’t possible. Fat thighs and you… Nope. My brain scrambles. Cheeky hubby you’ve got there… Mr HG might not survive if he said any such thing to me. :/
    Hope you have a good weekend sweets.

    • December 16, 2011 1:49 pm

      Cheeky is right. Clueless is also right.

      I hope you have a great weekend too Anna!

  7. December 16, 2011 6:18 am

    You, my dear, definitely DO NOT have fat thighs! Maybe Ali does.

    • December 16, 2011 1:50 pm

      Ali doesn’t have fat thighs…the guy doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him!

  8. December 16, 2011 6:28 am

    I’m surprised that your husband brought that up! Ew! I probably wouldn’t be on speaking terms with my boyfriend if he’d done the same thing. But, I’m glad to hear you love your new job. Congrats!

    • December 16, 2011 1:51 pm

      Thanks…the new job definitely overshadows Ali’s comment. 🙂

  9. December 16, 2011 6:42 am

    you should counter with his fat lip. Of which you would then give him for implying you ever had fat thighs. I should really look into marriage counseling…

  10. December 16, 2011 6:49 am

    It cannot be you! You are so so thin!!! I can’t believe he said that. Congrats on the new job!! How is it so far? I hope you will be happy there and will absolutely love it! You are a beautiful, skinny, intelligent, and hilarious woman! Remember that!
    Barbara

    • December 16, 2011 1:52 pm

      I love it so far Barbara! And thank you for the sweet comment…you are the best.

  11. December 16, 2011 7:07 am

    Fat things and Ameena don’t go together in one sentence…in fact fat anything and you don’t go together…I guess the hubby just misses you having around since you are working n finding ways to make you keep coming back to him for explanation:-)

    all the best for the new job!

    • December 16, 2011 1:52 pm

      That’s an interesting perspective Suruchi! Ali definitely would rather I stay at home…that’s for sure.

  12. December 16, 2011 7:36 am

    Oh, the things that come out of men’s mouths. Oy. I don’t blame you for your insecurities.

    Hope the new job is going well, Ameena!

  13. December 16, 2011 7:49 am

    Oh Ali (shaking my head here)! You have been married long enough to know that using the word fat in any reference to your wife is going to go nowhere good. Not to mention your wife is tiny. Time to grovel a bit

  14. Leslie permalink
    December 16, 2011 7:56 am

    Ali has flummoxed me with this convo. You + fat does not compute – you’re sylph like a runway model (…and dress as fashionably I might add).

    Now I can never meet Ali because he will surely refer to me as your garganguatan friend.

    Mm, maybe he should watch “The Biggest Loser” when it starts up on January so he has a clearer understanding of fat thighs.

    • December 16, 2011 1:55 pm

      First off, you are nowhere near garganguatan. And secondly, I am so thrilled that I now know how to spell that word. Assuming I copied it correctly!

      Missed you this morning! I had to work so I couldn’t make it. But thanks for giving me my dose of Leslie through the comments. 🙂

      • Leslie permalink
        December 16, 2011 9:42 pm

        Oops, I lurves me my “G’s” but I misspelled it. It’s ‘GARGANTUAN” as in Gargantua and Pantagruel by Rabelais. Oopsie!

      • December 17, 2011 4:02 pm

        Okay…so glad you wrote this because otherwise I would have been even more ignorant than I already am. 🙂

  15. December 16, 2011 8:17 am

    I’ve lost 13 pounds in 4 weeks…not intentionally…because i have a tumor in my gallbladder…but anyways, my husband said “You are getting too skinny. I miss that fat ass”….ummm yea.

    • December 16, 2011 1:55 pm

      That is a scary amount of weight in a very short time frame. I hope that you are feeling better Kimberly!

  16. December 16, 2011 8:40 am

    Fat thighs…psshhh – no way! Perhaps Ali should get a fat black eye for that comment, ha 🙂

    • December 16, 2011 1:56 pm

      Maybe, if he bumps in to my fat thigh, that’ll give him the black eye? Maybe?

  17. December 16, 2011 8:43 am

    Congratulations on the new job! So excited. Does it require you to make trip to NY City? If it does, that woulbe awesome!

    You are not fat at all. I hope for his own sake, Ali was not feeling well when he said that. What was he thinking? Someone in trouble!

    • December 16, 2011 1:57 pm

      No trips to NYC for work yet. But I’m working on it. 🙂

  18. December 16, 2011 8:54 am

    dude, you do not have fat thighs! i wonder what your husband thinks about ‘fat people’ then. you are tall and thin. he was probably having a bad day.

    • December 16, 2011 1:57 pm

      He’s just clueless…that’s the only explanation here!

  19. Jessica permalink
    December 16, 2011 8:59 am

    I don’t think that’s okay or funny at all 😦 I’m sorry you had to hear that.

    • December 16, 2011 1:58 pm

      You are so sweet Jessica. Really though, I wasn’t offended in the least. I’m used to the crazy things that come out of Ali’s mouth!

  20. December 16, 2011 9:06 am

    That reminded me so much of the Multi-Grain Cheerios commercial:

    • December 16, 2011 1:59 pm

      Exactly. This guy and Ali could be twins. Ali even eats Cheerios!

  21. December 16, 2011 9:19 am

    it’s conversations like that keep jewelers in business.

    It’s also SO fun to mess with guys once it’s established that they “went there”.

    my face is all a smile Ameena and if you’ve ever had fat thighs than I’m obese.

    I’m off to go run in place!
    xoxoxo

    • December 16, 2011 2:00 pm

      Well said Cindy! Especially the point about the jewelers!

  22. December 16, 2011 9:50 am

    Does Ali still have his man parts after that convo? I think I’d castrate him 😛

  23. December 16, 2011 10:03 am

    My Colleague Cheryl from Atlanta has trained me well in this regard as to never Use the word fat around ladies 🙂 … and i am an Apt pupil :D….

    PS: you look fantastic 😀 so no need to get so worried…

    • December 16, 2011 2:00 pm

      Ali needs a tutorial from you. Or Cheryl in Atlanta!

  24. December 16, 2011 10:06 am

    File that in “what husbands shouldn’t say”. New job? can’t wait to hear more. Highly doubt you ever had fat thighs and would only believe it with photographic evidence. So-nope inaccurate.

    • December 16, 2011 2:01 pm

      I assure you that no photographic evidence exists. 🙂

  25. December 16, 2011 10:12 am

    Ameena,

    Men Are Sooooooooooooooo Freaking STUPID.

    XX

    Luv to you, Dear.

  26. December 16, 2011 10:24 am

    The word fat should be banned from a married man’s vocabulary…forever!

    • December 16, 2011 2:02 pm

      Yes, you must make your fiance aware of this now. Before you end up hearing things like this!

  27. December 16, 2011 10:33 am

    Oh my. This just goes to show how differently men think than we do. My ex boyfriend used to randomly tell me how great it was that I was willing to “go out in public looking like that.” Its like they believe these things are compliments.

    • December 16, 2011 2:03 pm

      Your ex would be scared to see some of the ensembles I go out into public in. I have an addiction to my sweats.

  28. December 16, 2011 10:38 am

    I have no words apart from “What…Meh…You…He…WHAT!?”

    It seems Ali still has much to learn. 😛

    • December 16, 2011 2:03 pm

      That may very well be the understatement of the year Jenna!

  29. December 16, 2011 10:40 am

    I am usually the one that sticks up for the husband when couples are having an argument but I must say Ali is on Santa’s very, very naughty list this year.

    I actually have the opposite problem with my husband. I think I could gain 20 lbs and he would think I still looked great. And he loves me with my hair pulled back and no makeup. I was smart to marry him.

    Are you going to tell us about your new job?

    • December 16, 2011 2:04 pm

      I am working in television again and so far I love it.

      As far as your husband, you were VERY smart to marry him…but he’s lucky you don’t need an iota of makeup. You are gorgeous!

  30. December 16, 2011 10:41 am

    Bahahahah, I am laughing so hard! P.s congrats on the new jobbbb!

  31. December 16, 2011 11:30 am

    Genious… My sister and I – whose thighs are literally twice the diameter of yours – are cracking up.
    Puh-lease. You thigh is the size of my arm! And your gorgeous, so who cares.

    • December 16, 2011 2:06 pm

      You thighs are not twice the size of mine Deena, what are you thinking?? In any case, your sweet comment just made my day. 🙂

  32. December 16, 2011 11:37 am

    well, today my boyfriend told me I looked like an anorexic hobo. (you know, in the nicest way possible as I am sure ali intended it.) What….so I have a large flannel shirt on and forgot to wear a belt with my jeans! give us a break!!

    • December 16, 2011 2:06 pm

      An anorexic hobo? Wow. I’m not sure who has it worse here Daisy…it’s a close one.

  33. December 16, 2011 11:45 am

    maybe ali is worried about his own fat thighs and wanted some support form his loving wife! LOL

    • December 16, 2011 2:07 pm

      If Ali had an ounce of fat on him this could be the case…but he’s one of those who can eat whatever, whenever.

  34. December 16, 2011 12:04 pm

    If you have fat thighs i wonder what I (or so many of “us” around ) have. Perhaps he should know that he has a pretty wife becoz she has “fat” thighs… oh well i can never reason these things out.

  35. December 16, 2011 12:17 pm

    Congrats on the new job, Ameena!! As for Ali’s snide comment, I only have one thing to say: dogs go for bones, real men go for curves…thas all I’m sayin’ 😉

    • December 16, 2011 2:07 pm

      Dogs go for bones…I love it. How have I never heard that before?

  36. December 16, 2011 12:30 pm

    Congrats on the new job! I’m sure your thighs are okay lol

  37. December 16, 2011 12:54 pm

    What a rotten conversation! No way possible that you’ve got fat thighs…even when you sit down! The rest of us, well, that’s a different story. I especially hate the sit down spread especially when I’m wearing pants!

    • December 16, 2011 2:08 pm

      I will admit that I hate looking at my thighs when I sit down. I guess this is a universal problem?

  38. December 16, 2011 1:43 pm

    Yay for new jobs! Offices are the best places around Christmas time. There are so many chocolates and cookies to be had. And on that note, you do NOT have fat thighs.

    • December 16, 2011 2:09 pm

      Chocolate + Cookies = even fatter thighs. At least in Ali’s books!

  39. Jeena permalink
    December 16, 2011 1:54 pm

    The shock that has eaten my brain makes it impossible for me to even respond coherently.

    You have never had fat thighs. You haven’t ever had whatever 400 degrees of measurement are adjacent to fat thighs.

    • December 17, 2011 4:32 pm

      I read this to Ali. He agreed. And yet this contradicts our original conversation. He is a mystery Jeena.

  40. December 16, 2011 3:58 pm

    You’re tiny! How are fat thighs even possible? Eat those cookies and don’t look back!

    • December 17, 2011 4:32 pm

      Thank you Emily. I’ll think of your advice when I reach for a cookie.

  41. December 16, 2011 4:44 pm

    Oh my goodness – you two!!! Things must never be boring at your house 🙂

  42. December 16, 2011 6:04 pm

    Uhhhh, haven’t seen you in years, but if anything, you could probably use a steak or two;)

    • December 17, 2011 4:33 pm

      Hmmm…packernut74. I am not sure who you are? But I appreciate the kind words….

  43. December 16, 2011 6:49 pm

    LOL! I have decided that Ali is the most random person ever!

  44. December 16, 2011 7:24 pm

    Hahaha! What Zodiac sign is Ali? I am convinced he and my husband are somehow related.

    • December 17, 2011 4:36 pm

      Ali is a Libra…and I had no idea what his sign was until I just googled his birthday. 🙂

  45. December 16, 2011 7:34 pm

    This comment is for Ali:

    Ali – No. Wrong. Inexcusable. And you better not say one thing while your beautiful, slender thighed wife is enjoying her churros with chocolate in Espana. Not.one.word!

    🙂

    • December 17, 2011 4:36 pm

      I can’t wait. Seriously, I think the churros and chocolate are going to be the highlight of my entire trip. Just 9 more days!

  46. December 16, 2011 7:34 pm

    Ameena: um, you could use some fat in your thighs. I mean that in the best way possible. I could use some fat in my butt. Send Ali over to me to remind me of that.

    • December 17, 2011 4:37 pm

      I don’t exactly WANT fat in my thighs but I get what you are saying. You want Ali? You’ve got him. Just say the word. 🙂

  47. Piya permalink
    December 16, 2011 8:03 pm

    congrats on the new job!! fat thighs and you??? never!!! xoxo

  48. Janelle permalink
    December 16, 2011 8:12 pm

    I really wish you had a photo where your thighs did indeed look fat – I can’t believe it was ever, ever true. Perhaps Ali has been doing too many leg jumps of his own.

    • December 17, 2011 4:37 pm

      Ali? Move? I assure you leg jumps are not something he’s EVER done. Ever.

  49. December 17, 2011 1:22 am

    Fat Thighs, You. Never! I can’t believe it. It must have been a Cheerios moment. GG

    • December 17, 2011 4:38 pm

      Cheerios…I just saw the commercial when someone posted it in the comments above. Love it.

  50. December 17, 2011 10:51 am

    Fat is just a silly label meant to demean you and increase your doubt. But you, my dear, are loveable, full of integrity and beauty and graciousness. You are worthy of every ounce of love that is offered. I wish people would be more gentle and wise in their words. It is not about fat. Who cares if you were bigger? Your health, and happiness is clearly apparent here.

    • December 17, 2011 4:39 pm

      You are the sweetest…really. I have no idea how you do it but every single comment you leave here makes me feel like a million bucks. Thank you.

  51. December 17, 2011 11:44 am

    Oh man. Ali you had better clean up your mess, and I don’t mean your laptop and gadgets!

    • December 17, 2011 4:39 pm

      Although I wouldn’t mind if he cleaned up that mess too!

  52. December 17, 2011 1:38 pm

    LOL. These are the real issues!

    • December 17, 2011 4:39 pm

      These real issues for sure! Especially after 11 years of marriage. 🙂

  53. December 17, 2011 4:07 pm

    1. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. I know you were looking for something more fulfilling, so this has been a long time in coming.

    2. Just show Ali a picture of me taking an ice bath post-marathon. That will scare him straight in an instant. 😉

    • December 17, 2011 4:40 pm

      I doubt that any picture of you could scare anyone Kat! And thank you. 🙂

  54. December 17, 2011 5:20 pm

    Oh Ali, please never use the word “fat” when in conversation with a woman and that includes your wife (and specially so if she is perfect) 🙂 Ameena, what did you do at the end of the conversation? Were you mad or did you just ignore it?

    • December 19, 2011 9:41 pm

      I just ignored it. As I do with most of what Ali says. It’s safer that way!

  55. December 17, 2011 5:37 pm

    Why don’t men understand that they aren’t allowed to use the word fat in reference to their significant other?

  56. December 18, 2011 12:25 am

    From what I see of your photos, you don’t have fat anything! Egads, can’t believe he said that.

  57. December 18, 2011 4:34 am

    I guess my question would be, If in fact you “had” fat thighs so recently, how did you successfully correct the situation so quickly, especially without realizing it?!? I knew you were amazing, Ameena, but I’m very impressed! 😉

  58. December 18, 2011 6:17 am

    LOL…

  59. December 18, 2011 10:30 am

    Congrats on the new job Ameena! And in reference to Ali’s comment – from what I’ve seen in pictures you do not look like a woman who had cumbersome thighs at any point in the distant past. Tell him to get his eyes checked 🙂

    • December 19, 2011 9:43 pm

      Fabulous use of the word cumbersome…and thanks for the compliment!

  60. December 18, 2011 7:18 pm

    I too cannot fathom that you have ever had fat thighs. That’s ridiculous.

    What is waaaaay more important is your new job! Congratulations! And the fact that you love it is icing on the cake.

    • December 19, 2011 9:44 pm

      Thank you Susan! I am unbelievably lucky to like my job!!

  61. December 18, 2011 10:17 pm

    You and the word fat should never appear in the same sentence, my dear.

  62. December 19, 2011 8:00 am

    Congrats on the new job! Spousal statements about the other partner being heavy are always a bummer. They should just include a ban in that in marriage vows.

  63. December 19, 2011 9:36 am

    Congrats on your new job!

  64. December 19, 2011 9:00 pm

    Congrats on your job! As for the thighs… yeah, not possible. Just can’t imagine it. Forgive him once, then show him who’s boss next time. Though there’s a part of me that also imagines he’s already learned his lesson 🙂

  65. December 20, 2011 5:54 pm

    Yay for job…and you, fat thighs? Impossible. You are the prettiest little thing! And he’s probably just worried about his own fat thighs. He might have needed you to give him a tutorial but was too embarrassed to ask. Love and hugs!

  66. December 23, 2011 7:34 pm

    WHAT THE HELL?!

  67. May 8, 2012 4:59 am

    He should be scared to be that honest. Just sayin. 🙂

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  1. an ounce, a grain, and a dash « Fancy That…Fancy This
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