fat thighs
The good news: I started a new job and I love it.
The bad news: Due to a lack of time I didn’t have a chance to put together a coherent post, so I’m about to share the most bizarre conversation I may have ever had with my husband instead.
Ali: “Have you ever run in place?”
Me: “What?”
Ali: “Have you ever run in place? Lifting your knees really high?”
Me: “I guess so. Especially back when I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred
Ali: “Lifting your knees really high is a good way to work out fat thighs.”
Me: “Are you implying that I have fat thighs?”
Ali: “No.”
Me: “So what is the point of this conversation?”
Ali: “I’m saying that you used to have fat thighs.”
Me: “Oh really? And when was that?”
Ali: “I don’t remember. A while back I guess.”
*If I ever allowed such a photo to exist, I would insert a photo of my fat thighs here*
So apparently I had fat thighs at some point in the not so distant past. Maybe I still have fat thighs and Ali was too scared to be that honest.
In any case, the main focus here should be: what on earth is my husband trying to accomplish by randomly mentioning the word “fat” and “thighs” in a sentence directed to me?
It’s no freaking wonder that I can’t eat a cookie without having a 15 minute mental debate about it.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
Ouch, now that was harsh. Was he having a bad day at work?
This conversation occurred on Sunday so I don’t think so. His comments usually have no rhyme or reason Anita…
That is so weird! I can not fathom that YOU have ever had that thighs.
If it makes you feel any better, Mr P has said something equally strange to me in the past: that I used to have fat knees (but I know that this is kinda true)… still, very strange.
Congrats and good luck on your new job! Cant wait to hear more about it.
*kisses* HH
I can’t fathom that you’ve ever had fat knees.
Besides that, what a random thing to note. I mean, who really looks at another person’s knees?
I can’t imagine that you ever fat thighs 🙂 you look great!
Thank you Ayala…you are very kind. 🙂
No, Ali, no! The truth is, (a)men are dumb and he probably didn’t realize he was being insensitive and (b) you never had fat thighs, so have that cookie without fear.
He doesn’t mean to be insensitive…I know that about him. And yet I have to wonder…filter Ali? Do you have one?
As a bloke, I’m not sure if having ‘fat thighs’ is actually a bad thing. That said, right now I totally sympathise with Ali – simply because he will be facing the wrath and rage from women on this blog. Ali if you are reading this then dude – all the best.
I showed Ali your comment…he is pleased to have one person on his side.
Don’t believe it, it isn’t possible. Fat thighs and you… Nope. My brain scrambles. Cheeky hubby you’ve got there… Mr HG might not survive if he said any such thing to me.
Hope you have a good weekend sweets.
Cheeky is right. Clueless is also right.
I hope you have a great weekend too Anna!
You, my dear, definitely DO NOT have fat thighs! Maybe Ali does.
Ali doesn’t have fat thighs…the guy doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him!
I’m surprised that your husband brought that up! Ew! I probably wouldn’t be on speaking terms with my boyfriend if he’d done the same thing. But, I’m glad to hear you love your new job. Congrats!
Thanks…the new job definitely overshadows Ali’s comment. 🙂
you should counter with his fat lip. Of which you would then give him for implying you ever had fat thighs. I should really look into marriage counseling…
(meaning I’d be a terrific counselor of course) 😉
Not sure if we need marriage counseling or just someone to clue him in. Counseling for the Clueless? Can you offer that? 🙂
It cannot be you! You are so so thin!!! I can’t believe he said that. Congrats on the new job!! How is it so far? I hope you will be happy there and will absolutely love it! You are a beautiful, skinny, intelligent, and hilarious woman! Remember that!
Barbara
I love it so far Barbara! And thank you for the sweet comment…you are the best.
Fat things and Ameena don’t go together in one sentence…in fact fat anything and you don’t go together…I guess the hubby just misses you having around since you are working n finding ways to make you keep coming back to him for explanation:-)
all the best for the new job!
That’s an interesting perspective Suruchi! Ali definitely would rather I stay at home…that’s for sure.
Oh, the things that come out of men’s mouths. Oy. I don’t blame you for your insecurities.
Hope the new job is going well, Ameena!
Thanks Lisa…it is going really well so far!
Oh Ali (shaking my head here)! You have been married long enough to know that using the word fat in any reference to your wife is going to go nowhere good. Not to mention your wife is tiny. Time to grovel a bit
He should know better, right? Right.
Ali has flummoxed me with this convo. You + fat does not compute – you’re sylph like a runway model (…and dress as fashionably I might add).
Now I can never meet Ali because he will surely refer to me as your garganguatan friend.
Mm, maybe he should watch “The Biggest Loser” when it starts up on January so he has a clearer understanding of fat thighs.
First off, you are nowhere near garganguatan. And secondly, I am so thrilled that I now know how to spell that word. Assuming I copied it correctly!
Missed you this morning! I had to work so I couldn’t make it. But thanks for giving me my dose of Leslie through the comments. 🙂
Oops, I lurves me my “G’s” but I misspelled it. It’s ‘GARGANTUAN” as in Gargantua and Pantagruel by Rabelais. Oopsie!
Okay…so glad you wrote this because otherwise I would have been even more ignorant than I already am. 🙂
I’ve lost 13 pounds in 4 weeks…not intentionally…because i have a tumor in my gallbladder…but anyways, my husband said “You are getting too skinny. I miss that fat ass”….ummm yea.
That is a scary amount of weight in a very short time frame. I hope that you are feeling better Kimberly!
Fat thighs…psshhh – no way! Perhaps Ali should get a fat black eye for that comment, ha 🙂
Maybe, if he bumps in to my fat thigh, that’ll give him the black eye? Maybe?
Congratulations on the new job! So excited. Does it require you to make trip to NY City? If it does, that woulbe awesome!
You are not fat at all. I hope for his own sake, Ali was not feeling well when he said that. What was he thinking? Someone in trouble!
No trips to NYC for work yet. But I’m working on it. 🙂
dude, you do not have fat thighs! i wonder what your husband thinks about ‘fat people’ then. you are tall and thin. he was probably having a bad day.
He’s just clueless…that’s the only explanation here!
I don’t think that’s okay or funny at all 😦 I’m sorry you had to hear that.
You are so sweet Jessica. Really though, I wasn’t offended in the least. I’m used to the crazy things that come out of Ali’s mouth!
That reminded me so much of the Multi-Grain Cheerios commercial:
Exactly. This guy and Ali could be twins. Ali even eats Cheerios!
it’s conversations like that keep jewelers in business.
It’s also SO fun to mess with guys once it’s established that they “went there”.
my face is all a smile Ameena and if you’ve ever had fat thighs than I’m obese.
I’m off to go run in place!
xoxoxo
Well said Cindy! Especially the point about the jewelers!
Does Ali still have his man parts after that convo? I think I’d castrate him 😛
You crack me up Shanna!
My Colleague Cheryl from Atlanta has trained me well in this regard as to never Use the word fat around ladies 🙂 … and i am an Apt pupil :D….
PS: you look fantastic 😀 so no need to get so worried…
Ali needs a tutorial from you. Or Cheryl in Atlanta!
File that in “what husbands shouldn’t say”. New job? can’t wait to hear more. Highly doubt you ever had fat thighs and would only believe it with photographic evidence. So-nope inaccurate.
I assure you that no photographic evidence exists. 🙂
Ameena,
Men Are Sooooooooooooooo Freaking STUPID.
XX
Luv to you, Dear.
Well said. I have nothing else to add!
The word fat should be banned from a married man’s vocabulary…forever!
Yes, you must make your fiance aware of this now. Before you end up hearing things like this!
Oh my. This just goes to show how differently men think than we do. My ex boyfriend used to randomly tell me how great it was that I was willing to “go out in public looking like that.” Its like they believe these things are compliments.
Your ex would be scared to see some of the ensembles I go out into public in. I have an addiction to my sweats.
I have no words apart from “What…Meh…You…He…WHAT!?”
It seems Ali still has much to learn. 😛
That may very well be the understatement of the year Jenna!
I am usually the one that sticks up for the husband when couples are having an argument but I must say Ali is on Santa’s very, very naughty list this year.
I actually have the opposite problem with my husband. I think I could gain 20 lbs and he would think I still looked great. And he loves me with my hair pulled back and no makeup. I was smart to marry him.
Are you going to tell us about your new job?
I am working in television again and so far I love it.
As far as your husband, you were VERY smart to marry him…but he’s lucky you don’t need an iota of makeup. You are gorgeous!
Bahahahah, I am laughing so hard! P.s congrats on the new jobbbb!
Thank you Sana!
Genious… My sister and I – whose thighs are literally twice the diameter of yours – are cracking up.
Puh-lease. You thigh is the size of my arm! And your gorgeous, so who cares.
You thighs are not twice the size of mine Deena, what are you thinking?? In any case, your sweet comment just made my day. 🙂
well, today my boyfriend told me I looked like an anorexic hobo. (you know, in the nicest way possible as I am sure ali intended it.) What….so I have a large flannel shirt on and forgot to wear a belt with my jeans! give us a break!!
An anorexic hobo? Wow. I’m not sure who has it worse here Daisy…it’s a close one.
maybe ali is worried about his own fat thighs and wanted some support form his loving wife! LOL
If Ali had an ounce of fat on him this could be the case…but he’s one of those who can eat whatever, whenever.
If you have fat thighs i wonder what I (or so many of “us” around ) have. Perhaps he should know that he has a pretty wife becoz she has “fat” thighs… oh well i can never reason these things out.
I’ve tried. There is no reasoning here!
Congrats on the new job, Ameena!! As for Ali’s snide comment, I only have one thing to say: dogs go for bones, real men go for curves…thas all I’m sayin’ 😉
Dogs go for bones…I love it. How have I never heard that before?
Congrats on the new job! I’m sure your thighs are okay lol
Thanks my friend. 🙂
What a rotten conversation! No way possible that you’ve got fat thighs…even when you sit down! The rest of us, well, that’s a different story. I especially hate the sit down spread especially when I’m wearing pants!
I will admit that I hate looking at my thighs when I sit down. I guess this is a universal problem?
Yay for new jobs! Offices are the best places around Christmas time. There are so many chocolates and cookies to be had. And on that note, you do NOT have fat thighs.
Chocolate + Cookies = even fatter thighs. At least in Ali’s books!
The shock that has eaten my brain makes it impossible for me to even respond coherently.
You have never had fat thighs. You haven’t ever had whatever 400 degrees of measurement are adjacent to fat thighs.
I read this to Ali. He agreed. And yet this contradicts our original conversation. He is a mystery Jeena.
You’re tiny! How are fat thighs even possible? Eat those cookies and don’t look back!
Thank you Emily. I’ll think of your advice when I reach for a cookie.
Oh my goodness – you two!!! Things must never be boring at your house 🙂
Never!
Uhhhh, haven’t seen you in years, but if anything, you could probably use a steak or two;)
Hmmm…packernut74. I am not sure who you are? But I appreciate the kind words….
LOL! I have decided that Ali is the most random person ever!
Exactly! The random-est person ever.
Hahaha! What Zodiac sign is Ali? I am convinced he and my husband are somehow related.
Ali is a Libra…and I had no idea what his sign was until I just googled his birthday. 🙂
This comment is for Ali:
Ali – No. Wrong. Inexcusable. And you better not say one thing while your beautiful, slender thighed wife is enjoying her churros with chocolate in Espana. Not.one.word!
🙂
I can’t wait. Seriously, I think the churros and chocolate are going to be the highlight of my entire trip. Just 9 more days!
Ameena: um, you could use some fat in your thighs. I mean that in the best way possible. I could use some fat in my butt. Send Ali over to me to remind me of that.
I don’t exactly WANT fat in my thighs but I get what you are saying. You want Ali? You’ve got him. Just say the word. 🙂
congrats on the new job!! fat thighs and you??? never!!! xoxo
Thank you Piya!
I really wish you had a photo where your thighs did indeed look fat – I can’t believe it was ever, ever true. Perhaps Ali has been doing too many leg jumps of his own.
Ali? Move? I assure you leg jumps are not something he’s EVER done. Ever.
Fat Thighs, You. Never! I can’t believe it. It must have been a Cheerios moment. GG
Cheerios…I just saw the commercial when someone posted it in the comments above. Love it.
Fat is just a silly label meant to demean you and increase your doubt. But you, my dear, are loveable, full of integrity and beauty and graciousness. You are worthy of every ounce of love that is offered. I wish people would be more gentle and wise in their words. It is not about fat. Who cares if you were bigger? Your health, and happiness is clearly apparent here.
You are the sweetest…really. I have no idea how you do it but every single comment you leave here makes me feel like a million bucks. Thank you.
Oh man. Ali you had better clean up your mess, and I don’t mean your laptop and gadgets!
Although I wouldn’t mind if he cleaned up that mess too!
LOL. These are the real issues!
These real issues for sure! Especially after 11 years of marriage. 🙂
1. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. I know you were looking for something more fulfilling, so this has been a long time in coming.
2. Just show Ali a picture of me taking an ice bath post-marathon. That will scare him straight in an instant. 😉
I doubt that any picture of you could scare anyone Kat! And thank you. 🙂
Oh Ali, please never use the word “fat” when in conversation with a woman and that includes your wife (and specially so if she is perfect) 🙂 Ameena, what did you do at the end of the conversation? Were you mad or did you just ignore it?
I just ignored it. As I do with most of what Ali says. It’s safer that way!
Why don’t men understand that they aren’t allowed to use the word fat in reference to their significant other?
It’s a mystery….
From what I see of your photos, you don’t have fat anything! Egads, can’t believe he said that.
Thanks my friend. I appreciate it!
I guess my question would be, If in fact you “had” fat thighs so recently, how did you successfully correct the situation so quickly, especially without realizing it?!? I knew you were amazing, Ameena, but I’m very impressed! 😉
If I had such a secret I’d be a millionaire!
LOL…
Congrats on the new job Ameena! And in reference to Ali’s comment – from what I’ve seen in pictures you do not look like a woman who had cumbersome thighs at any point in the distant past. Tell him to get his eyes checked 🙂
Fabulous use of the word cumbersome…and thanks for the compliment!
I too cannot fathom that you have ever had fat thighs. That’s ridiculous.
What is waaaaay more important is your new job! Congratulations! And the fact that you love it is icing on the cake.
Thank you Susan! I am unbelievably lucky to like my job!!
You and the word fat should never appear in the same sentence, my dear.
Perhaps you can explain that to my husband?
Congrats on the new job! Spousal statements about the other partner being heavy are always a bummer. They should just include a ban in that in marriage vows.
Agreed.
Congrats on your new job!
Thank you Jen!
Congrats on your job! As for the thighs… yeah, not possible. Just can’t imagine it. Forgive him once, then show him who’s boss next time. Though there’s a part of me that also imagines he’s already learned his lesson 🙂
Ali? Learn his lesson? Never!!
Yay for job…and you, fat thighs? Impossible. You are the prettiest little thing! And he’s probably just worried about his own fat thighs. He might have needed you to give him a tutorial but was too embarrassed to ask. Love and hugs!
WHAT THE HELL?!
Oh yes…what the hell is right!
He should be scared to be that honest. Just sayin. 🙂
You would think so…but apparently not!