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July 26, 2011

Over the past week I’ve developed a couple of theories about my husband and his relationship with hotel rooms. Allow me to share:

Theory #1 Ali enters a new hotel room and views it as a blank canvas. In his artist’s mind he thinks…“How can I make these 600 square feet my own? How can I leave my mark? What is the best way to fill this empty space so that it feels like home?”

Theory #2 Ali enters a hotel room and instantly thinks…“CHALLENGE: How many little nooks and crannies can I find to shove my water bottles, subway tickets, computers, cables, and socks, so as to magnify my wife’s irritation when she stumbles over my stuff?”

Instead of complaining I suppose I should appreciate my husband’s hidden talents. For example, his ability to reach new heights with his pajamas, belt, and robe.

**Edited to Add: I swear on my life that those are black pajamas hanging down from the top shelf. I am a terrible wife but I would never post a picture of my husband’s boxers on the Internet!**

Or his crazy knack of finding hidden spaces that I don’t notice until I have to aid him in an episode of “Search and Rescue: The Watch.”

It’s no secret I hate L.A. and I had no desire to come back. But having the luxury of throwing Ali’s stuff in his closet and closing the door?

Worth coming home to.

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100 Comments leave one →
  1. July 26, 2011 12:19 am

    you know what gets me? Is when hubby decides to put one of his gadgets or whatever somewhere, forgets where he has put it, then proceeds to tear the house apart and rant and blame me and/or the nanny for it. When it does resurface he acts like nothing is the matter. I could spit acid right about then.

  2. July 26, 2011 12:24 am

    There is nothing like the pleasure of closing a door and pretending that whatever is on the other side does not exist. Hmm… what else besides clothes can this work for? 🙂

    p.s. I really enjoyed the photo titles that show up when my cursor hovers over the pic. How do you really feel about Le Parker Meridien? 🙂

    • July 26, 2011 8:11 am

      Actually, I have much stronger words to describe how I feel about Le Parker Meridien but I’m doing my best to hold back!

  3. July 26, 2011 12:26 am

    Otels.You know, the ghetto “motels” where the “M” is missing. He’ll be so much more appreciative of hotel rooms after that.

  4. July 26, 2011 1:00 am

    lol, i like to make myself at home, but he takes the cake!! I would surely leave something behind if I found all the nooks and crannies to put stuff .

  5. July 26, 2011 1:14 am

    Oh no lol. How annoying. Mr P is an absolute neatnick. He even lines up is remote controls “just so”. He expects everything to look perfect (but he expects me to do it while I follow him around with a “pooper scooper”). It is tres annoying.
    One thing I love about hotels is that they are so clean and lovely. Putting your stuff all over the place kind of ruins the experience for me.
    *kisses* HH
    welcome home daaaaahling!

    • July 26, 2011 7:53 pm

      Mr. P and me? Long lost siblings. If I had the ability to touch the remotes without freaking about germs I would most certainly have them lined up neatly.

  6. July 26, 2011 3:48 am

    I’m sort of like Ali here. I leave “traces” everywhere. Having said that, I am grossed out by hotels so keep everything on semi-sanitary locations. NYC misses you, come back.

    • July 26, 2011 7:54 pm

      NYC misses me? So nice to hear. I miss it more than you can imagine…

  7. July 26, 2011 4:39 am

    My husband’s socks and his gold score cards litter our apartment. But my biggest pet peeve is him leaving his dirty clothes right next to the hamper but not actually in the hamper. Why? Why??? It you’re going to throw them that way just get them in there! I suppose this is why he never played basketball 🙂

    • July 26, 2011 7:54 pm

      Oh Lindsey. I’ve given up that fight! Clothes just don’t go in the hamper. They go on top. Didn’t you get the memo?

  8. July 26, 2011 5:03 am

    Oh my gosh – I live in 600 sq. feet right now – and it’s horrible for someone so cluttered. I’m convinced it’s contributed to my “heavy” mind – everything is just in random places!

    Do you really hate L.A? I woudn’t be able to live somewhere so body/image oriented…would Ali ever move?!

    • July 26, 2011 7:55 pm

      I’m working on Ali and in my past experience, if I annoy him about something long enough he usually gives in. Eventually.

  9. July 26, 2011 5:07 am

    Haha how did those things end up on the top shelf?! I’m completely the opposite when it comes to hotel rooms and prefer keeping everything as close to my bag as possible, you know, just in case a quick getaway is needed 😛

  10. July 26, 2011 5:24 am

    this would be a huge pet peeve of mine. I love “moving in” to a hotel room but all my stuff has to be super neat.

  11. July 26, 2011 6:02 am

    Welcome home. Haha.. Ali is funny, he makes himself feel at home I guess. I’m not the neatest person around, but it always gets me when my husband throws stuff around and then asks me where they are. He forgets that I’m not a mind reader.

  12. July 26, 2011 6:34 am

    Ameena!! I am right there with you!! When we travel, Ralph is notorious for spreading over every possible inch of flat and sometimes not so flat surface. When we are leaving a hotel room, it is always my job (I’ve made it my job because I hate the whole “@!%#…I’ve left my X, Y or Z behind!” I truly do a complete search of the room…starting at the farthest wall, in every drawer, under the beds, under the COVERS. I always find something. It can be exhausting!

    • July 26, 2011 7:56 pm

      I do a very similar search. It annoys the living daylights out of me but it’s easier than having to hear, “We need to turn around, I forgot my ___!”

  13. Allie permalink
    July 26, 2011 6:52 am

    It must be so interesting living with Ali lol!!!

  14. July 26, 2011 7:14 am

    my husband is such a messy hotel room inhabiter also! STUFF EVERYWHERE. He’s neater at home!

  15. July 26, 2011 7:45 am

    Is Ali aware that you posted a photo of his underwear on the internet?

    Well, let’s not plan any couples trips any time soon because I always say that when we arrive in a hotel room we “explode onto the scene.” sigh.

    • July 26, 2011 8:09 am

      It’s not underwear! It’s his pajamas/robe/shirt….etc. I swear I wouldn’t post my husband’s underwear on the Internet. I’m a terrible wife but I’m not THAT bad. 🙂

      • July 26, 2011 9:23 am

        The black item with the waist band that look like tightie whities only black? They look like undies! 😀

      • July 26, 2011 7:57 pm

        I promise Deb! They are pajamas. Ugly pajamas but pajamas.

  16. July 26, 2011 8:17 am

    Total guy thing. Zach does that with slips of paper, coins, bottles of vitamin water, wrappers, his ipad, his keys, his multiple watches..it’s like he explodes!

    I think the black things above the robe are underoos too 😉

  17. July 26, 2011 8:28 am

    HAHAHA! We’re staying at a resort in Napa right now and as I write this comment my mum is berating my dad FOR THE SAME THING- I should also add that they are both on their ipads AND Macbook Pros simultaneously arguing over how my dad could have possibly screwed up making the coffee and she’s accusing him of using the hotel coffee when he’s insisting he’s using the Peet’s we brought.

    • July 26, 2011 7:58 pm

      I fear that your parents are me and Ali in 15 years…

  18. July 26, 2011 8:32 am

    I wonder if your husband is messier then mine? Why doesn’t it drive them nuts???? It’s so infuriating. Well, just do your best not to let it annoy you. so HARD but what else can we do?

    • July 26, 2011 7:59 pm

      I don’t know your husband but I think Ali wins this one. Hands down.

  19. July 26, 2011 8:39 am

    Ahh…what about wet towels on the bed & water all over the bathroom floor while shaving ? thats THE most irritating thing for me ever.. Does Ali reply “Let hotel room remain..dont TRY to turn it into HOME” ? Mine does that …so annoying!

  20. Leslie permalink
    July 26, 2011 8:52 am

    Ali is the Jackson Pollack of hotel guests…. Splatter Technique rules!

    P.S. I feel sad when you say you don’t want to come back to L.A., but I promise to visit you happily when you are ensconced in NYC in the future.

    • July 26, 2011 8:00 pm

      Of course you’ll visit me Leslie! I’d have it no other way.

  21. July 26, 2011 9:01 am

    I also love throwing my husband’s stuff in the closet and closing the door…but I’ve always wondered, is that normal or too passive aggressive??? On the upside, at least someone else will clean the room after you check out.

    • July 26, 2011 8:01 pm

      Passive Agressive for sure. I specialize in that type of behavior!

  22. July 26, 2011 9:17 am

    Haha! Can’t wait for married life…fun times ahead! 🙂

  23. July 26, 2011 9:36 am

    hahaha I TOTALLY thought that was his underwear in the picture. That would have been awesome! 🙂

    Im pretty sure this whole thing applies to all men. At any given time, you can find two pairs of my dads shoes under the living room coffee table, and 3 baseball hats on the couch. Then theres my ex boyfriend. Im pretty sure in the 3 1/2 we were together, he lost his phone/keys 386 times. Want to know how much stuff I lost in that time? NONE.

    • July 26, 2011 8:02 pm

      I think Ali has lost his phone/keys 387 times. Your ex-boyfriend is pretty close though…

  24. July 26, 2011 9:36 am

    These posts always crack me up because I’m sure the hubster says the same thing about me (thankfully he doesn’t have a blog). And really, the yellow Vitamin Water is better than the orange 🙂

    • July 26, 2011 8:03 pm

      Surprisingly I’ve never had Vitamin Water, nor have I ever been tempted to try it! So I’ll take your word for it. 🙂

  25. July 26, 2011 9:40 am

    I’m glad Kristen mentioned something about the photo titles because I would have totally missed that. I don’t even know what le park meridian is, but I guess I will avoid finding out. Our house survives on chaos. I won’t take a picture of my desk (or Hubby’s) to prove it, but we could definitely challenge Ali in this area. Of course, I know where everything is so that’s what counts. 🙂

    • July 26, 2011 8:03 pm

      Chaos has no place here. I can’t function with things out of place!

  26. July 26, 2011 10:11 am

    LOL He looks so content too!! I am the complete opposite of him just b/c of the Search and Rescue Issue. I am scared to death that I will lose something so I frantically keep all my belongings in one area where things can’t ever be lost behind a couch or whatever else. I’m weird that way. But my husband on the other hand, I feel like I have to clean the hotel (make the bed, put away towels) to find where he may have left things.

    • July 26, 2011 8:04 pm

      I put all my stuff in one place too…it’s just logical, right? So why doesn’t my hubby get it?

  27. July 26, 2011 10:21 am

    When you say you hate L.A., it makes me love you that much more. I hate it too. Andy hates it even more! Granted, we’re out in the suburbs and not actually in L.A. but still!

  28. July 26, 2011 10:30 am

    I HATED LA when I lived in Pasadena…it is like smog descends upon your spirit and you can’t shake off the feeling of acting as if you are acting…

    and what you do for Love, my love, well, it makes love, for me, more loving.
    😉

    • July 26, 2011 8:05 pm

      Pasadena is beautiful but it is SO FAR. And it’s SO HOT.

  29. July 26, 2011 10:59 am

    I’m a neat freak when it comes to hotels, haha!!

  30. July 26, 2011 11:07 am

    ughh my boyfriend is the same way with his stuff. he also has this odd habit of putting receipts and other small papers into his pocket, taking them home, then shredding/rolling them up into little balls to scatter throughout the house

    • July 26, 2011 8:05 pm

      Ali participates in the rolling/shredding as well. Not sure what it is but he LOVES tiny pieces of paper.

  31. July 26, 2011 11:57 am

    Can it be a combination of Theory 1 and Theory 2? 😉 I swear, this must be a guy thing. I can’t tell you how many times I walk to the kitchen in the middle of the night for some water and practically break my neck tripping over Peter’s shoes or bag or empty boxes (and the recycling bin is right outside, mind). Whereas with me, everything has its place and disorder is enough to drive me up the wall! And, of course, the perpetual search for items that disappeared under piles of “stuff”. Oh, yes, Ameena, I feel your pain 😛

    • July 26, 2011 8:06 pm

      I’m not happy that you have to deal with this too but at least I am not alone!

  32. July 26, 2011 12:07 pm

    My husband is far worst, he is like this at home and should get his own episode on hoarders. Anyway I would just take that garbage basket and fill it with anything you see from watches to unfinished water bottles, when he looks for something later all he needs is a garbage can and a fishing pole.

    • July 26, 2011 8:07 pm

      I can do a lot of things but I cannot touch Ali’s watch. He draws the line there and at his car.

  33. July 26, 2011 12:12 pm

    See the positive side of this, suddenly leaving New York is not making you feel so bad this time. Did you thank Ali for making you feel this way ?

  34. actorsdiet permalink
    July 26, 2011 12:13 pm

    it’s funny; whenever we go to hotels abe never unpacks anything from his suitcase and it drives me CRAZY!

    • July 26, 2011 8:07 pm

      I am just like Abe…I rarely unpack anything. I like it all ready to go…just in case.

  35. July 26, 2011 12:33 pm

    Just come back to NYC! So sorry we didnt get to meet up

  36. July 26, 2011 2:31 pm

    Hi, Ameena! New to your blog. It’s great! Sorry to hear you’re back to LA / welcome back to the closet space. 🙂

  37. Med permalink
    July 26, 2011 2:44 pm

    So glad you said they were pajamas 🙂

  38. July 26, 2011 2:53 pm

    That pajama part made me laugh 😀

  39. July 26, 2011 3:45 pm

    Yeah, He’s not bothered at all…Is he?
    –does he know you got a shot of his boxers?! HA HA

  40. July 26, 2011 6:46 pm

    Hilarious! I totally thought those were boxers also and my first thought was, Wow, Ali doesn’t mind? Haha! Glad you clarified.
    I’m with you. Just seeing all that clutter is making me antsy…

  41. July 26, 2011 7:47 pm

    This reminds me of my dad (not Ryan…Ryan is OBSESSIVELY neat). It made me smile (and cringe). Thank you for sharing with me. I hope you had a cool and relaxing Tuesday. I know I’m ready for a good nights sleep! Take care and have a blessed week, my friend.

  42. July 26, 2011 7:48 pm

    The man is nothing, if not Industrious.

    I realized the other day that despite the fact that Marcus leaves stuff ABSOLUTELY everywhere, it’s not that he’s trying to spite me. More frighteningly, it’s that once that object leaves his hand, it ceases to exist in his universe anymore. So like, he just doesn’t even process that the shirt is over the chair which is STILL pulled out from the table. I will never, ever understand.

    As per the usual, solidarity sister.

  43. July 26, 2011 8:48 pm

    I love my husband to death but I am an organized neat freak and he……not so much. I will organize our whole walk in closet and he appreciates me, but not having all 30 pairs of his swim trunks neatly folded. I like it.

  44. July 27, 2011 4:03 am

    i don’t get that. My husband does the same thing. its like a threw up his things in a hotel room and all within an hour of checking in. haha.

  45. July 27, 2011 4:48 am

    Lordy. My husband is so like this. He used to travel weekly for work so he has multiple “systems” that he uses for organization or lack thereof whenever we travel. It’s been known to drive me absolutely batty!

    • July 27, 2011 7:12 pm

      My husband has a system too…he simply doesn’t unpack and re-uses the same suitcase with the same clothes in it. Super efficient.

  46. Cindy permalink
    July 27, 2011 8:25 am

    My husband is the opposite. Everything has to be neat and tidy….

    so like it’s impossible to just live in your space without feeling pressure to have it show room ready all the time!

    tee hee

    • July 27, 2011 7:13 pm

      I haven’t met him but I think I like your husband! Showroom ready is exactly how I like it.

  47. July 27, 2011 9:24 am

    Hotels can be ok…but I like everything “just so” I do NOT like clutter at all 🙂 I start feeling closed in after a few days – not a fan of ‘living out of a suitcase’, start to get antsy.

  48. July 27, 2011 10:17 am

    Ali and I have so much in common…

  49. July 27, 2011 1:04 pm

    Woah, how long were you at Le Meridien?! It looks like he’s moved in! haha

    • July 27, 2011 7:13 pm

      Just 7 days! Imagine what it would have looked like after a longer vacation…

  50. July 27, 2011 1:28 pm

    haha hilarious!

  51. July 27, 2011 5:01 pm

    Ha! You make me laugh sweet girl. Love that your hubby’s jocks are hanging from the top shelf proudly. How do you do it? Living out of hotels is so hard. Thanks for another fantastic installment in the life of Ameena. Xxx

  52. July 27, 2011 5:34 pm

    Giggling hysterically, I told my husband, “This is Ameena. She makes fun of her husband on her blog too! Look, she posted a pair of his underwear!”….then you swore up and down that it was his pyjama bottoms….shoot girl! Do you realize all the things I could have posted after my husband thinking he saw any man’s underwear in a blog post! 🙂

    • July 27, 2011 7:15 pm

      So sorry to disappoint but Ali can take only so much…and posting his boxers would be pushing the limit for sure!!

  53. July 27, 2011 8:05 pm

    lol you must NEVER get bored!!!
    and good thing you added the edited text…you got me !

  54. July 27, 2011 8:24 pm

    Hilarious how your husband made the room his own!

  55. livinglearningeating permalink
    July 28, 2011 5:13 am

    Try to move to NYC! If you’re happier there, that’s the most important thing 🙂 I know it’s not so easy to move, but it’s a worthy investment in your happiness 🙂

  56. July 28, 2011 6:00 am

    lol….i do that all the tome…pretend that a spooky world exists behind the closets…but in the end i just go and clean it to make my self satisfied!!!

  57. magicofspice permalink
    July 28, 2011 12:27 pm

    I have to say it…that would drive me straight over the edge! He may even have to retrieve everything form the trash can by the time I was done 🙂
    Hope your vacation was wonderful…

  58. July 28, 2011 2:17 pm

    Ameeeeena!! Why do you hate L.A.? I never want to leave this city.

  59. July 28, 2011 6:39 pm

    Welcome home friend!

    I hace four words to show how much I relate: Socks on the floor. Ugh!

    XO

  60. July 28, 2011 8:34 pm

    Your husband and my husband should try living together for a week and see who drives who nuts first. Then again, knowing my husband, he’d probably enjoy the non nagging and feel right at home with clothes thrown everywhere. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to post a picture of his clothes thrown right on the soaker tub with our two hampers open and 2 feet away from said pile of clothes on Facebook. The day you see that picture, is the day I’ve gone completely mad.

  61. July 29, 2011 12:24 am

    Those looked like boxers to me too. I was LOL so hard. So despite your note, I am going to continue to think they are boxers because that makes the closet look like how it is whenever we check into a hotel room.

    I love coming here and once again be reaffirmed that thank goodness my husband is not the only one!

  62. July 29, 2011 9:24 am

    giggled all thro the post!

  63. July 29, 2011 3:35 pm

    Well, we all have our talents!

  64. August 1, 2011 3:35 pm

    What is it with men and their consistent ways to irritate us? 😀

  65. August 8, 2011 6:02 am

    Glenn is the exact same way. I call him an a$$hole cause he thinks the maid will clean it up

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