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the “r” word

July 8, 2011

I met a nice girl the other day. She was smart, interesting, and loved to read as much as I do. We had lots to talk about! Plus – on the shallow side – she had on Tory Burch shoes just like Maya’s and this automatically made her a star.

As we chatted I was busy envisioning the lunch and movie dates we would eventually share together because apparently I am badly in need of friends. But my plan went to hell when I heard her say:

“And I totally felt like a retard!”

Okay so I fully acknowledge that sometimes I am not the most PC person. Just last week for example, Maya had to correct me when I referred to an exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum as the American Indian section.

“No Mama, no. It’s not nice to say that. They are called Native Americans!”

So maybe I’m more than a bit ignorant. And maybe I’m lucky to have a smart ass 6-year-old to correct me at every opportunity. But really? On what planet is the word “retard” not disparaging, condescending, and just plain wrong?

Maya is so smart about certain things and yet she keeps getting her hair stuck in her Zhu Zhu Pet. I don’t get it.

Since I find it impossible to confront people I didn’t say anything to the girl. But I knew at that moment that I could not be friends with her because using the “R” word is simply unforgivable.

If only she’d used the “F” word instead. Now that I can handle.

107 Comments leave one →
  1. July 8, 2011 1:47 am

    Its nice to see that you are sensitive when it comes to the using a certain type of language. In my case, I particularly hate the use of ‘f’ words, seriously. Not because i have general prb with it (though i have a bit, esp when its linked with mothers n sisters) but its because people here in Pakistan think its cool to to overuse it. You know the typical third world complex, we like to be associated with angraizi stuff, lingering symptoms of post colonial rule. Also, its considered a symbol of association with elite.
    P.S: you the lucky that Maya only gets her hair stuck in her zhu zhu toy, i have a history of sticking obstinate bubble gums in my hair 😐

    • July 8, 2011 10:18 pm

      “Angraizi stuff.” I love it. I finally know how to spell that word now!

  2. July 8, 2011 2:36 am


  3. July 8, 2011 2:45 am

    i have a feeling maya would be correcting me too. I am often not PC, and its all by accident. haha.

  4. July 8, 2011 3:10 am

    It’s good to see you are sensitive and aware of particular words being used. To be honest, I really don’t take much notice of particular words which may or may not offend me or make me sensitive. To be fair, prior to reading your post I didn’t really take notice of words used by people – which may or may not have an impact.

    • July 8, 2011 10:19 pm

      I’m glad that writing this post is bringing awareness to the “r” word…because in addition to my usual whining I was hoping to do some good here.

  5. July 8, 2011 3:50 am

    It’s interesting how many of us nowadays are okay with the occasional swearing. It’s become part of casual language. I have to admit to dropping a four letter word here and there but usually not out of anger but humor.

    • July 8, 2011 10:20 pm

      Ditto. I drop four letter words far too often. I am trying to stop! But it’s hard.

  6. July 8, 2011 4:15 am

    yea underestimating yourself is just wrong.if you wont appreciate who you are then world will never learn to…as for Maya what can I say..I too have history of hair sticking in helicopter wings:P

  7. July 8, 2011 4:16 am

    I curse often. And blame the men I work with. But there are a few words I do not touch. That is one of them. There are way too many alternatives for what you’re trying to convery instead of that one… not cool.

    • July 8, 2011 10:20 pm

      I blame my brother for bringing out the worst of my 4 letter words.

  8. July 8, 2011 4:28 am

    i feel exactly the same about the “r” word and i HATE how frequently and casually i hear it dropped. i remember when classmates started using it in high school to describe getting drunk (sidenote: that “lets get retarded” song by the black eyed peas made me want to stab someone) and i made my friends feel bad for saying it every time they did. i feel the same about the word gay, which also became wildly popular when i was in high school. ew. i found a good way to confront people was just to ask what they really wanted to say when they used that word, what they REALLY meant. because then they usually realize on their own how offensive it is (like when they say “oh, i was just saying retarded to mean stupid.. or just saying gay to mean weak). i also curse like a sailor but these words are different – they are not curse words, they are derogatory to specific populations.

    • July 8, 2011 10:21 pm

      I have never heard that song by the Black Eyed Peas but I knew I didn’t care for that group for a reason…

  9. July 8, 2011 5:11 am

    there are few words I cringe when hear said, and the “r” word is definitely one of them. Hate IT!

  10. July 8, 2011 5:33 am

    My best friend for my whole life is a special education teacher. Don’t dare say that around her…she’ll hurt you…and she’s the person who can!

    For Maya…maybe a scrunchie??

    • July 8, 2011 10:21 pm

      She does not like her hair to be tied up…this is a problem!

  11. July 8, 2011 6:02 am

    I have never hear any of my friends or family use the ‘r’ word so I don’t know how it will affect me. I hope I will not hear it ever. I hear people swear with the ‘f’ word all the time. It is hard to find a Western Movie that does not have the ‘f’ word in the dialogs. Even Chinese movies are catching on that word. I don’t get it! If I am given a choice, I wish I will never hear either the ‘r’ or the ‘f’ word from anyone or anywhere. Oh I am proud of Maya for correcting you. She is a smart girl:D High 5 Maya.

    • July 8, 2011 10:22 pm

      I agree…it is hard to find a movie that doesn’t drop bad words every few minutes…it makes it hard to stop myself!

  12. July 8, 2011 6:04 am

    lol – your so right – I am conscious of using that word – uh, the “r” word, definitely NO problem with the “F” word 😉 – we did say it more growing up. Small town, small-minded family. But luckily I knew the difference.

    So – do you think you’ll still hang out with her though? I wonder if there’s a way to mention to her about not using that word…without smacking her across the face…

    • July 8, 2011 10:23 pm

      I don’t hang out with her. I met her once and then couldn’t do it again because I was on pins and needs that I’d need to confront her.

      I realize I have some serious issues…

  13. July 8, 2011 6:13 am

    Getting your hair stuck in a zhu zhu pet hurts!!! Not that I have experience or anything 😉
    No grown woman should be saying “retard” anyways! That’s for middle schoolers who cant come up with anything intelligent to stay!

  14. July 8, 2011 6:16 am

    Good for Maya! I know that I’m guilty of swearing (lots) and not being entirely PC (occasionally). Definitely something to work on.

  15. July 8, 2011 6:20 am

    I’m not okay with the R word or the N word or any other word that denotes something that certain people have no control over. It’s, for lack of a better word, yucky!

  16. July 8, 2011 6:21 am

    Aww poor Maya getting her hair caught in the Zhu Zhu! She is still smart though for correcting her mama 😉 haha.

    I would have been offended as well if someone said retard so casually.

  17. July 8, 2011 6:26 am

    I try to be politically correct as much as I can although I am known to throw in the occasional curse word. I agree with you that one has to be sensitive using certain words.

    It is unfortunate but I have heard that word in casual conversation so often, more to denote something being silly or dumb (I agree, it’s still not okay), so its doesn’t elicit a cringe response in me as strongly as other more racially charged words. “Oriental” is one that really makes me cringe.

    • July 8, 2011 3:06 pm

      I agree- that word is used frequently in a very casual manner so it doesn’t make me recoil like other words. It’s a good reminder though, that it is not a nice word at all. Having said that, I probably need to rope in my use of the ‘f’ word 🙂

    • July 8, 2011 10:24 pm

      I think I used the word “Oriental” until maybe college? I was even more ignorant then. If you can imagine…

  18. July 8, 2011 6:26 am

    It’s hard to remain PC all the time! At least you have Maya to correct you. I hope that girl has someone else to help her out with the r word correction!

  19. July 8, 2011 6:27 am


    I read this post and decided to move it to the top of the long, long list of reasons that we were meant to be friends.

    It kills me when people use the “R” word. When I hear it in polite conversation, I practically choke because it’s like…seriously? Do you even know what’s coming out of your mouth right now? Horrifying, really. And also really awkward because I never know the best way to correct them/stop the madness without completely tanking the conversation and ending up in a possibly even more uncomfortable situation.

    • July 8, 2011 10:25 pm

      Tell me again why you have to live in Minnesota? Because if you were closer I wouldn’t have to be on a perpetual hunt for friends who get me.

  20. July 8, 2011 6:38 am

    The “R”, “N” and “F” words are rude, offensive & hurtful. They are not supposed to be used at all (especially around children), in my opinion. So unintellegent! Oww… Maya is super smart & sensitive. It’s a family trait.

    Lol about that Zhu Zhu pets. I don’t know why kids like them a lot (including my kids). I think Zhu Zhu pet looks creepy (& in the dark could pass as real mouse!), but hey as long as I don’t have to buy/have real guinea pig or white mouse as pet in the house, I couldn’t complain… 🙂

    • July 8, 2011 10:25 pm

      I agree! They look creepy and far too realistic for my liking.

  21. July 8, 2011 7:02 am

    This is why I find you incredibly adorable.

    And what? I am scared of Zhu Zhu pets myself. They eat my fingers!

  22. July 8, 2011 7:07 am

    As the mother of a developmentally disabled 11 year old who works his ass off to learn things that all of us with typical intelligence learned quite easily, it offends me, to put it mildly, when people make a mockery of all of that by tossing around the “r” word. I can’t help but take it personally. I aways think if people could see how hard he works, how much he gets called names at school, how many times he cries to me telling me he is the dumbest one in his class then maybe they would get that using the word “retard” is not funny in the slightest. I am glad to see reading this and the comments that people who are not associated with someone with developmental issues can still see that using that word is not okay.

    • July 8, 2011 10:26 pm

      I would take it personally too. Reading this makes me so sad that kids still have to experience this kind of thing. It kills me. Really.

  23. July 8, 2011 7:36 am

    Ugh that word is so outdated, it’s so unexcusable for people to say it still. Maya is the sweetest, esp about the zhu zhu pet and being so PC.

  24. July 8, 2011 7:39 am

    I agree, use of the “r” word really grates me the wrong way. Maybe people don’t realize just how insensitive it is?

    • July 8, 2011 10:27 pm

      They really don’t but I am trying to get the word out there!

  25. July 8, 2011 7:41 am

    Ameena, you should hang out with me more. I say the f word and s word a lot and the “r” word in my book is republicans

  26. July 8, 2011 7:48 am

    I hate that word too. And I’ve been disappointed with potential friendships in the same types of ways. Like if they say something slightly racial or something that sounds the slightest bit homophobic.

    I look forward to a day when my boys will be as smart as your girl.

    I can’t tell you how much I love this picture of Maya!

    And by the way, since my kids got old enough to understand, I find myself almost obsessively using the F word. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Just the other day, Deaglan used it as an adjective in just the right context and I had a sick and impressed feeling all at the same time.

    • July 8, 2011 10:28 pm

      Maya used the “b” word if it makes you feel any better! I fear the day she uses that word in school. I fear it! And on behalf of Maya, thank you for the compliment!

  27. July 8, 2011 8:02 am

    I’m not a fan of that word either… Nor am I a fan of people who aren’t sensitive when it comes to the language that they use. I grew up with mostly male friends, so swears don’t offend me, but I don’t take kindly to anything derogatory, because if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s the lack of respect that results from ignorance.

    Oh, and I’m absolutely in love with “The Kite Runner” 😀 Thank you for recommending “A Thousand Splendid Suns”… I’m going to pick it up when I finish this one.

    • July 8, 2011 10:29 pm

      I am around swearing all the time and it really doesn’t offend me either. The derogatory comments kill me though!

  28. July 8, 2011 8:14 am

    I know what you mean. I do. And me? I’d have said something. I’m all confrontational like that.

    • July 8, 2011 10:29 pm

      Can you throw some of your confrontational skills my way? I need to learn how to do it properly!

  29. July 8, 2011 8:16 am

    I agree. I HATE the r word as well.
    But I do love zhu zhu pets. They are so cute! (I’m 5 years old).

    • July 8, 2011 10:30 pm

      Maya has about 10 zhu zhu pets. And she’s looking for someone to play with!

  30. July 8, 2011 8:39 am

    Maya has Tory Burch shoes? She’s one lucky lady 🙂 But yes I also can’t stand it when people say the r word or allude to mental illness in a joking/contextually incorrect manner”She’s soooo schizo” etc.

    • July 8, 2011 10:30 pm

      Sara…Maya has several pairs. And I only have one. Sadly, I’m jealous of my 6-year-old.

  31. July 8, 2011 8:42 am

    I totally agree. Sadly my hubby uses this word and i’m sure to let him know that I totally dissapprove. It’s a childish and rude word in my book but I can’t seem to break him of the habit. I haven’t nagged him about it in a while but after reading this post I will. Stat.

  32. July 8, 2011 8:57 am

    Ugh I know what you mean! One of my best friends continually uses the r-word and uses “gay” often as well. I’ve talked to her about it a few times but nothing changed. Now I just ignore whatever it was she was saying when she says something like that, and she’s starting to catch on a little…but it’s not enough! It’s so frustrating!

    • July 8, 2011 10:31 pm

      Good for you for saying something to her and hopefully she’ll catch on…eventually.

  33. July 8, 2011 8:59 am

    I agree – totally. I have heard people say that to their children, and it makes me cringe…”stop acting like a retard” Really?? On another note I’m not a fan of calling someone stupid either – especially a child. I don’t even allow my kids to call each other stupid. Anyway – good call on your part!! Don’t need friends like that.

    • July 8, 2011 10:31 pm

      They say that to their children? Now that is shocking!

      • July 12, 2011 10:47 am

        I totaly agree Ameena! I do NOT like it at all.

  34. July 8, 2011 9:26 am

    OMG bahahaha why does she keep getting her hair stuck in the robot hamster!? I’m dying.

    I don’t like the R word. it drives me up the wall. But my brother is autistic so thats probably why. I won’t talk to friends when they say it in a over-controlling attempt to re-train them out of that word

    sometimes it works. sometimes i’m a brat. oh well 😉

    love ya!

    • July 9, 2011 7:47 am

      I share your over-controlling need to re-train…hence why I have so few friends.

  35. July 8, 2011 9:52 am

    I also have a brother who has mental handicaps so that particular word strikes a deep chord with me. That isn’t even a part of my vocabulary. In fact, any along those lines; stupid, idiot, etc., aren’t allowed in the house, whether talking about people or actions. “That wasn’t the smartest thing I could,” sounds so much better than, “I was so stupid.”

    Poor Maya.

    • July 9, 2011 7:48 am

      I need to start saying, “That wasn’t the smartest thing I could do.” Sounds much better than stupid. Much better.

  36. July 8, 2011 10:45 am

    I have 2 cousins with disabilities so the “r” word is completely unacceptable. It’s too bad her smarts in fashion didn’t leak over to other areas. It’s sad, but sometimes people don’t even realize.

    p.s. Spain is SOOOO not politically correct. You can say anything here! The Spaniard and I will overhear something on the street and he will glance over at me and say, “I know, you can’t say that in the States.” 🙂

    • July 9, 2011 7:49 am

      From what I’ve seen it appears that Europe is generally less politically correct. I think they are so relaxed from their 8 weeks of vacation a year that they don’t take offense to things like exhausted Americans do? 🙂

  37. July 8, 2011 11:32 am

    I wont lie, Ive definitely said the “r” word before in my life. Then I helped my mom in her class, and got to work with some handicapped kids that were beyond amazing. It smartened me up. They are too inspiring to insult them by saying something like that.

  38. July 8, 2011 11:56 am

    I am guilty here, I call myself a retard sometimes when I do something wrong. But the good things is I never call others…will you still be my friend Ameena 🙂 ????????

  39. July 8, 2011 11:58 am

    i totally agree with you on the “r” word Ameena! i don’t even know why that word even exists. definitely well put about the “f” word in comparison to the “r” word.
    i LOL-ed at Maya’s picture and caption. trust me, i totally understand where you’re coming from. hope you and the family have a wonderful weekend!

  40. July 8, 2011 11:59 am

    I’m sad to say, I can’t say for sure but I may have used the “r” word. It’s not one of my regular words. The “f” one is a favorite. I definitely swear. If I have used the r word, can we still be blog friends? Ha.

    • July 9, 2011 7:50 am

      I definitely swear too so I know I shouldn’t be pointing fingers Lauren…

  41. July 8, 2011 3:20 pm

    Personally, I think it’s not a big deal at all. I work with disabled children (severely disabled). And I will sometimes catch me calling myself retarded. The thing is, I’m not thinking of it in the true sense of the word. I’ll say that when I did something when I know better. Using it as a way of voicing my frustration of not living up to my potential. Same with my kiddos. The only time I can get upset is when I know they’re capable of better. It’s not a good thing to say, but it’s just a knee jerk thing to say sometimes. You shouldn’t let that destroy what could be a great friendship.

    • July 8, 2011 3:33 pm

      Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it isn’t a bad thing to say, I just don’t think any word should be “unforgivable” especially when she wasn’t trying to cause any harm.

    • July 9, 2011 7:53 am

      I definitely make snap judgements and it is a terrible fault of mine. But since I can’t confront her on the way she talks and I know I can’t listen to her use the word without cringing, I feel like I have no choice but to not be around her…

  42. July 8, 2011 4:12 pm

    How funny about your daughter getting her hair stuck. Ah, kids…

  43. July 8, 2011 5:55 pm

    Thats a def turnoff!!

  44. July 8, 2011 7:17 pm

    Good for you! Using the “r” word drives me nuts. Or when kids use the “g” word. Both make me insane. I know I’ve done it in the past but now I try to be mindful of what I say!

  45. July 8, 2011 9:34 pm

    poor lunch dates and movies … 😛 … aww awesome maya for being so intelligent :D….. kids love to do it to mommy dearests 😀

  46. July 9, 2011 5:13 am

    That word bothers me too. I couldn’t agree more about your assessment. Love the picture of maya with the stuck hair. That’s so something I would do – if I owned a zhu zhu pet that is.

  47. July 9, 2011 8:20 am

    I like the f-word so much that I usually refuse to call it that, but I’m refraining from actual use out of deference to your more sensitive readers. On my blog, they are on my home turf and just have to live with it.

    But “retard” makes me cringe, too. I’d assume she is llikely using it out of ignorance though and might be open to a gentle discussion of why it is insensitive.

    • July 10, 2011 8:32 am

      Thank you Secret Agent Woman for referring to it as the “F-word.” My sensitive readers (my mother) thanks you!

  48. July 9, 2011 10:34 am

    Daaahling, I cant tell you how many times I’m always having to put my foot in my mouth! I am always saying stupid stuff that i regret saying. Yeah, it sucks that she said “retard” but I say give her another chance. Who knows, she might be kicking herself at her choice of words. I am sure it wasn’t said with anything malicious in mind.
    *kisses* HH

    • July 10, 2011 8:33 am

      I know HH and you are totally right! Seeing as I stick my foot in my mouth constantly I should totally give her another chance.

  49. July 9, 2011 3:57 pm

    Okay, I must admit now that I’m not a fan of political correctness. This doesn’t mean I’m respectless (I value respect very highly), but I believe that not being allowed to speak about certain things is very ominous. And I also don’t think that it does people a favor to speak of them as “mentally challenged” (which is the official politically correct term in German – there’s also “physically challenged” :?) compared to “retarded”. Both is equally bad. “Retarded” means, “You won’t make it”, and “mentally challenged” means, “You should try harder, but you won’t make it anyway”. So, it’s plague or cholera (a German proverb, one of my favorites – it applies to politics so well 😀 – do you have that one, too?). I think it’s time to just treat people as human beings.

    At least that girl meant herself when she dropped that word. May you forgive her now?

    • July 10, 2011 8:34 am

      I have not heard the phrase “plague or cholera” before but it really does hit the nail on the head. But more importantly we need to treat people as human beings!! Absolutely.

  50. July 9, 2011 4:51 pm

    I know a lot of people, including myself on occasion, who use words that are completely insensitive if not offensive. I work with kids with Autism, some of whom have developmental disabilities as well, and it wasn’t until working with them and hearing stories of families and what people said about their kids that made me really work on stopping. I try to give people a break when they say things out of habit though, because I’m not perfect either. I think its the trying that counts, or the caring.

    • July 10, 2011 8:35 am

      It’s hearing the stories firsthand from parents or siblings that kill me…

  51. July 9, 2011 7:38 pm

    I spend more time than I’d prefer around my husbands friends and for them I blame my tendancies to speak “sailor” fluently.
    However, that is one word that I admit I used when I was younger, mostly because I think there was less sensitivity around it or maybe I just didn’t understand the severity of what I said, but I’ve since removed it from my vocabulary and find myself handing out hairy eyeballs to people who don’t follow the same rule.

    • July 10, 2011 8:36 am

      I speak “sailor” fluently thanks to my brother and his friends. Oddly enough my husband rarely swears. Except in the car of course where crazy, unrepeatable things have been known to fly out of his mouth.

  52. July 9, 2011 10:17 pm

    My cousin, who is 9, corrects me on the modern terms for things a lot. I think it IS fair to say that what is PC has changed over the years. I also get confused because every time I meet someone of a certain race/ethnicity, they can themselves by the un-PC term!

    However, I have never heard someone call themselves a retard. My sister gets really mad whenever someone says that because she works with special education kids. There are so many words that people commonly use and never really think about what they are saying. The word ‘gay’ comes to mind for that as well.

    • July 9, 2011 10:17 pm

      * call themselves

    • July 10, 2011 8:37 am

      I get confused too. That’s why I think that people of a certain race/ethnicity need to refer to themselves by their PC term so that we can eliminate the confusion!

  53. July 10, 2011 4:56 am

    Amen. The other one that gets me is “thats so gay.” Dealbreaker.

  54. July 10, 2011 7:25 am

    Ugh– my students are big fans of that word. And big fans of calling things gay. Yes, this writing assignment is definitely homosexual.


  55. July 10, 2011 12:24 pm

    I was fancy-ing what could the the r word while I only knew the f word and the s word. 😉

  56. July 10, 2011 7:35 pm

    My mom cannot stand when people say that!! I’ve gotten more sensitive to it, too.

  57. July 10, 2011 7:39 pm

    Your like totally my idol, love the way you say it how it is girl. I had to ask? My man and I are thinking of maybe visiting your neck of the woods for New Years this year, can you recommend anything fabulous for us to do?

    • July 11, 2011 6:18 pm

      Anna – I am going to send you a Facebook message with suggestions!

  58. July 10, 2011 10:05 pm

    I really like the picture & the caption…. its so cute ❤
    nice write

  59. July 11, 2011 5:48 am

    You would love my sister because she has taken on her own personal initiative to remove the “r” word from people’s vocabulary. Throughout college she’s worked with children who suffer from different illnesses (mental and physical), so it’s very personal for her. I’m glad you wrote about this. 🙂

  60. July 11, 2011 6:00 am

    I can stand retard, but I hate it when people swear left and right just cause they think it’s cool, and I absolutely can’t stand people saying, “God, that’s sooooooo gay”

  61. Cindy permalink
    July 11, 2011 8:00 am

    I grew up with brothers and now I live with boys. Boys who are NOT PC at all.
    I run around trying to be the proper mother…we don’t call people STUPID (because my mother wouldn’t let us say stupid or shut up to each other) but then she called me white trash one day so I let it all go.
    Being all proper didn’t make her be KIND to me at all and I am not white trash.
    I would be the first person to take a punch at someone who is cruel or insensitive to anyone with struggles or disabilities or challenges of ANY kind. My entire family is all about fighting for the underdog, anyone who cannot find their own voice or anyone who could not help themselves.
    It’s one of my favorite things about my husband and boys.
    And then again you would cringe at what things come out of my Call of Duty loving, Politically incorrect men and brothers.
    I’ve just become immune to it and four letter words slip all of our mouths WAY too often.
    It doesn’t offend me but again don’t get near me if you are going to put anyone down needlessly.
    I got in a fight with a couple of boys in grade school because they were making fun of a girl that had cerebral palsy and they were imitating how she walked and I took a punch at them.
    4th grade! ME!
    I was like 52 pounds back then.
    Please don’t hold a grudge with this girl….but SAY YOUR PEACE to her. Use I statements…”You know I feel really uncomfortable when you use that word…I really like hanging out with you but it bothers me”
    If you give her a chance to correct herself and she doesn’t or if she knows it bothers you and keeps doing it around you, THAN say adios.
    People might surprise you if you give them a chance.

    Hope you’ll still be my friend !!!!

  62. July 11, 2011 8:53 am

    Children are sometimes the wisest mirrors….and boy, that zap us, huh?
    Watching Charlie Brown made me chorkle!
    Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”
    Charlie Brown

  63. Leslie permalink
    July 11, 2011 3:59 pm

    My favorite swear word is “FRAK.” Whenever I drop one, I inevitably have another Battlestar Galactica Reimagined (that last words important – the original aka TOS didn’t have the Frak-word) excitedly embrace me as a fellow fan. FRAK even showed up on an episode of Love Bites: the female protagonist droped the FRAK-bomb, and date swooned with adoration for a SciFi geek.

    As for disparaging words about someone’s physical/mental challenges, race, color, creed or country of origination, I ain’t gots no lurve 4 dem. So Bravo to you!

  64. July 12, 2011 9:20 pm

    Glad you’ve chose to share this story. R word should be banned from existence. It’s so demeaning esp. to under privileged.

  65. July 13, 2011 11:52 am

    I agree completely with you and admire this post. It is so sad what people say and that they don’t pay attention to how hurtful their words can be…Too funny about Maya and love your most recent post about your date night.

  66. July 13, 2011 7:17 pm

    I admittedly could be better and more sensitive about the words I use sometimes. This was a great post and a great reminder.

  67. Galit Breen permalink
    July 13, 2011 9:46 pm

    I know. I KNOW. Deal breaker.

    That picture of Maya? Adorable.


  68. July 15, 2011 12:46 pm

    I definitely try not to say the “r” word. There are lots of other words I hate just as much, if not more.
    Working with kids with autism makes it hard for you to use retard off-handedly. Makes my heart break a little bit.
    I’m trying to break my boyfriend of using “gay” in a negative way. Horrible.

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