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conundrum

June 27, 2011

Here’s the thing…I think the whole idea of “graduating” from kindergarten is ridiculous. I mean seriously? Maya barely learned how to hold a pencil properly! Must she really be acknowledged for that?

It’s nonsense like this that gives kids a need for non-stop acknowledgement – one of the many things that annoys the living daylights out of me.

And yet…

I find myself in quite a state because nobody bothered to tell me there was going to be a graduation. I swear that I will always have this haunting vision of Maya with tears running down her face because I was the only mom who wasn’t present as she moved her fake tassel across her paper hat.

Replay. At home.

Here’s what I don’t get…Maya’s school has no problem remembering to:

  1. Send me continuous donation requests.
  2. “Gently” request that I sign up for the snack calendar.
  3. Ask me to bring a dish for the teacher’s luncheon/Willy Wonka wrap party/Father’s Day breakfast.
  4. Remind me repeatedly that I am a horrible person for taking her out of school for a vacation to Paris.

But letting me know about a graduation ceremony? Well I guess that’s just too much to ask.

My conundrum: Am I more upset that I missed the graduation or that there was a ceremony in the first place? I’m not sure. But on the bright side I have the entire summer to ponder this!

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98 Comments leave one →
  1. June 27, 2011 1:04 am

    Uh huh!!! That’s a sad thing for the school to do!!! Maya must have been so disappointed 😦

  2. June 27, 2011 1:09 am

    I guess it pays to live in Spain where I am 9 hours ahead! First dibs on comments! 🙂

    I say focus your grievance towards the school. If there IS going to be a ridiculous event… the least they can do is notify you that it’s going to occur.

    BUT more importantly – what the hell is a Willy Wonka wrap party!??

    • June 27, 2011 3:53 pm

      Maya was in a production of Willy Wonka and they had a wrap party for the cast. So I had to bring a dessert! Of course.

  3. June 27, 2011 2:39 am

    Oh the nerve…. Poor baby girl, was she upset?
    Gosh, I so remember the school days, the teachers constantly harassing our parents for ‘donations’, yet when it counted… Nope, Nudder. We should have known right?
    Cute picky though, totally dig the grad hat. Very stylin. 🙂

  4. June 27, 2011 2:54 am

    Wow– that would REALLY piss me off.

    Maya looks beautiful and so grown up!

  5. June 27, 2011 3:20 am

    Ohmygosh! shame on them!

  6. June 27, 2011 3:46 am

    Oh no!!! That is sad. Well by the look on her face it looks like she was unphased by all of this. I’m sure that you’ll get numerous reminders about this next school year. Or when she’s 30 and wants to see pics from her kindergarten graduation. Doh!

    • June 27, 2011 3:55 pm

      Next year there won’t be a graduation from 1st grade. I think? I hope?

  7. June 27, 2011 3:50 am

    ridiculous that they didn’t notify you and well, that they have this kind of stuff for 5 / 6 year olds. in any case, congrats to maya for graduating kindergarten!

  8. June 27, 2011 3:54 am

    Wow! Didn`t Maya`s teachers or classmates say anything to her! She didn`t hear about itÉ (sorry, for some reason my question mark isn`t working – annoying!).

    Oh well – I`d rather go to Paris anyday!

    • June 27, 2011 3:55 pm

      I don’t think they said anything to Maya about it either because otherwise the little chatterbox would have filled me in.

  9. June 27, 2011 4:00 am

    Seriously- I think that deserves at least a memo… or a reminder after the memo… even if it’s a silly concept, a “graduation” makes it sound like a big deal. I’d be upset… for sure!

  10. June 27, 2011 4:03 am

    Things like that definitely require a send home “note” or “reminder”. How else would anyone know about a ceremony. Your daughter’s “graduation” photo is cute!

  11. June 27, 2011 4:18 am

    Snack calendar??? Where do I get one of those daaahling?
    *kisses* HH

  12. June 27, 2011 4:19 am

    Oh no! While it is a disappointment, at least Maya will have many more graduations for you to attend. Hopefully the school will be better about letting families know about these things in the future.

  13. June 27, 2011 4:41 am

    I think it is a little ridiculous for schools to do the whole “graduation” thing. A party to celebrate…yes, that’s a great idea, but a ceremony. It distorts the childrens’ view of life. I do think you should lodge a complaint with the school for not making you aware. Crazy…they send info home to parents about everything else!

    I say…not your fault. Try to make it up to Maya in another way…you’ll think of something.

  14. June 27, 2011 5:23 am

    Oww.. hugs for Maya & congratulations to the First Grader! She looks happy now in the replay photo. So sorry you miss her “graduation” and she cried. I’ll be upset with her school too. It’s very rude of them not to let you know in advance, yet didn’t forget to nag you to bring food for the Willy Wonka Wrap Up party (what kind of party was that anyway?)

    • June 27, 2011 3:57 pm

      Maya was in a production of Willy Wonka and they had a dessert wrap party for the cast…

  15. June 27, 2011 6:00 am

    I would be SOOO mad..how rude/inconsiderate.

  16. June 27, 2011 6:51 am

    Congrats to Maya! I hope she wasn’t too upset. I’m sure you’ve made it up to her though- I mean, hello a trip to Paris when she should’ve been in school? Doesn’t get cooler than that!

  17. June 27, 2011 7:40 am

    I agree with the idea that pre school, kindergarten, and even elementary school graduations are lame. I can kind of sign on for middle school-i mean going to high school is a big deal. The only graduations I got were HS and college and to be honest I don’t think much more is really necessary. I guess it is cute and all but it’s just overkill. Well, the good news is that you have elementary, middle school, hs and college graduations to look forward too!

    • June 27, 2011 3:57 pm

      Exactly…overkill! That’s the word I’d been searching for as I wrote this post!

  18. June 27, 2011 7:49 am

    Im surprised they didnt send some kind of written notice ahead of time. Thats very, very odd.

    That said, kindergarted graduation is kind of ridiculous. We sure as hell never had that when I was a kid. Its like the whole everyone gets an award thing. I can understand it in SOME situations, but I feel like its just setting kids up for disappointment when they grow up and realize you cant always be a winner you know?
    Or maybe Im just bitter because I never got a special graduation when I was a kid. 🙂

  19. June 27, 2011 7:52 am

    I think I’d be more upset that there needs to be a graduation from Kindergarten..really? I didn’t have that..heck I didn’t have a graduation from elementary school either and I’m just fine.

  20. June 27, 2011 8:09 am

    I think the bigger question is are they going to do this every year? I mean, I think I got more out of second grade than I did any other elementary grade. I didn’t get a party for that year. I wonder if Maya will.
    I’ll just go have a Willy Wonka Wrap Party and think about this.

    • June 27, 2011 4:00 pm

      Second grade? Really? Why? I think I got the most out of kindergarten because I learned to read!

      • June 29, 2011 10:22 am

        I think the teacher had a lot to do with it. I also realized how much I LIKED to read in that grade, which considering how I am now that means something to me.

        And it might have to do with the little plastic bears we got to play with during free time. Red & Blue were lined up vs. Yellow & Green for battle. I don’t know what battle meant in second grade, but it was a big deal.

  21. June 27, 2011 8:28 am

    My conundrum is whether I respond to your conundrum or tell you how much I adore that piece of furniture in front of which Maya is standing.

    Honestly, I’d be incredible hot if Dudette’s school hadn’t let us know about her graduation (and yes, she had a preschool graduation ceremony). I agree with you that it’s pretty over the top though. I did plenty of eye-rolling about it even though I took pictures and sent them around to everyone.

    • June 27, 2011 4:01 pm

      Thank you MC! I actually picked it out myself so I am especially thrilled that you like it. And had I been at the graduation I would have done the exact same thing with the pictures. I would have forwarded them on to everyone!

  22. June 27, 2011 8:56 am

    Willy Wonka wrap party? Is it weird that I have no idea what that is? 🙂

    • June 27, 2011 4:02 pm

      No, it’s not weird at all. I just didn’t explain it very well! Maya was in a production of Willy Wonka and they had a dessert party for the cast…

  23. June 27, 2011 9:19 am

    happy summer!!! i bet maya is super excited and that you two have a list of summer plans!

  24. June 27, 2011 9:22 am

    Obviously the graduation wasn’t as important as the donations and snack list. People’s interests are in the wrong places. Sorry you missed the graduation! I think it’s time you send them a ‘friendly memo.’

    • June 27, 2011 4:03 pm

      Well I could send a memo but nobody would get it until the Fall. That annoys me even more!

  25. June 27, 2011 11:13 am

    First, I just have to say, Maya loos super tall for a kindergartener!

    I have worked with camps and youth organizations a LOT over the years and there’s one thing they always emphasize: fake enthusiasm. I too don’t understand the need for constant acknowledgment with children, but you can always just fake it! Pretend to be super excited, even if it’s only a really ugly drawing….

    I wouldn’t feel too bad about missing it. My mom and dad missed plenty of events growing up, sometimes for legitimate reasons (like work) and sometimes for not so legitimate reasons (like, “I fell asleep”). I turned out okay though!

    • June 27, 2011 4:04 pm

      Thank you Coronae. I just want Maya to turn out halfway decent and I’ll be satisfied!

  26. June 27, 2011 11:14 am

    Hmmm…could the IPAD have eaten it? I would have thought they would ask for donations for graduation decorations and awards and for you to cater something….maybe fly to Paris and bring back something tasty. Odd…don’t you think? Education is strange.

  27. June 27, 2011 12:51 pm

    One of my sons “graduated” from our preschool diploma/tassel and all. Other one did not as we pulled him to attend his brother’s new school. No ceremony, no gown-overall better adjusted.

  28. June 27, 2011 1:05 pm

    If it makes you feel better, you are not alone. I can’t tell you how many things I miss at school because the school is relying on my child to tell me about what is going on. Funny how they don’t use that same system for fundraisers. So when someone comes home telling me I was the only mom missing from the class party, I throw some change in the future therapy jar and cross my fingers that they don’t end up with a Freudian shrink.

    • June 27, 2011 4:05 pm

      Therapy jar…this is a brilliant idea. I have a feeling I’ll be throwing quite a bit in there.

  29. June 27, 2011 2:46 pm

    Congrats to Maya 😉

    I can’t believe they forgot to tell you but don’t have a problem asking for donations, etc. Ugh!

    At least she is home for the summer!!

    • June 27, 2011 4:05 pm

      Her being home for the summer is not a good thing Allie! 🙂

  30. June 27, 2011 4:25 pm

    First, Willy Wonka wrap party – hahaha! I’m guessing it was a party after watching the movie? Or Maya’s class put on a play? Either way, I imagine requests like that are all too common. I’d be miffed that the school didn’t mention the graduation, too. At least Maya is all smiles in that picture! The only non-high school or college graduation I had was middle-school graduation, and I don’t even remember it at all. There’s a good chance that Maya won’t remember this one – especially if she has one for grade school, middle school … just kidding 🙂

    I have a feeling you’ll need some relaxation time this summer – good luck! 😉 Your readers are always here for you, Ameena!

  31. June 27, 2011 4:46 pm

    I am mad too.. what a bummer… how could they just forget to let everyone know. is she going to the same school next year or did they figure they do not need to be nice anymore since there will not be any more checks coming.

    • June 28, 2011 12:11 pm

      Maya is going to the same school next year so I am mystified as to what happened?

  32. June 27, 2011 5:14 pm

    What they didn’t send out announcements?!? Exactly what are they using your donations for anyway?

    Maya looks very happy for her at-home ceremony. She’s so beautiful Ameena. 🙂

  33. June 27, 2011 5:55 pm

    Graduation for Kindergarten is stupid. Most of the time the children get all freaky having to “graduate” in front of all those people and don’t really enjoy it. Besides they, like everyone else, don’t really know what they are graduating from.

    You would be absolutely justified in complaining to the school, but you are right no one really cares right now. I would just sit on it until the next year someone stops me for the next donation and then drop the graduation bomb. That will leave them scrambling.

    And the reason Maya didn’t really care is because you have raised her not to have her self-esteem attached to some worthless graduation ceremony. She is obviously so much more than that!

    And yipee for summer!

    • June 28, 2011 12:13 pm

      I was actually going to write that kindergarten graduation is “stupid” but Ali said it was too harsh. I’m so glad that someone agrees!

  34. June 27, 2011 6:39 pm

    Oh no! Sorry you missed it. I think the concept of a ceremony at that age is retarded also but I would still be upset if I didn’t know about it. Maya is such a cutie! And I think we have the same television!

  35. June 28, 2011 12:14 am

    Kindergartens have graduations? Ummm borderline ridiculous! I remember when I moved to the States I was so confused as to why I had a fifth grade graduation

  36. June 28, 2011 4:08 am

    They didn’t tell you!? That’s total BS! Either way, May looks so cute and happy 🙂

  37. June 28, 2011 4:30 am

    At least you know there will be roughly 20 more graduations in her future… since, y’know, they started when she was FIVE! Crazy. You’re still a great mom!

  38. June 28, 2011 5:38 am

    I don’t understand why they *wouldn’t* have notified you of the graduation…crazy school.

  39. June 28, 2011 7:11 am

    I don’t know how I feel about it all either.

    My now graduated teenager didn’t have kindergarden grad but lower level ones.

    I’m with ya!!!
    she looks ADORABLE in that hat btw 🙂

  40. June 28, 2011 7:29 am

    Well, on the upside, your daughter is super cute…but surely you already know that. Perhaps it’s time to block that stupid school out of your head and enjoy summer. You can start in with feeling irritated again come fall. In the meantime, margarita?

  41. June 28, 2011 9:43 am

    I can’t believe the school didn’t notify you! Reasons to decline the next donation request, perhaps? Although, then again it did get you out of having to suffer through the ceremony and what are the chances that every parent was able to attend and that Maya will even remember 5 years from now? I say celebrate in your own way – it will make it more meaningful to her and any graduation malaise will fall away.

    • June 28, 2011 12:15 pm

      She won’t remember for sure…the problem is that her sad little face is still imprinted on my brain!! But I know that if I’d attended I’d be complaining about the lengthy and silly ceremony so apparently I am just a difficult person to please. 🙂

  42. June 28, 2011 10:30 am

    I wouldn’t worry too much about it. The great thing about childhood is that your brain forgets all about it and you can rewrite it as you please later on. I have no idea whether my parents came to stuff in Kindergarten…I can barely remember much of anything before the 5th grade and I’m only 23. As far as I was concerned, I did fun things, and they were there to pick me up afterwards. But then, my parents didn’t come to my college graduation either, and I couldn’t have cared less, so I may just be an unsentimental person.

    • June 28, 2011 10:03 pm

      Wow…they didn’t come to your college graduation? Kudos to you for taking it so well!

  43. June 28, 2011 12:12 pm

    I heard about this recently .. the graduation party for kids and i was surprised. But then a friend of mine sent me some picture and it looked so emotional and beautiful. May be they should call it something else rather ‘graduation’ 🙂

  44. June 28, 2011 12:52 pm

    Ugh, that is the sort of event that makes me uneasy about having kids. I will probably miss all of my kids’ graduation ceremonies, but it will most likely be on purpose.
    Good for you that you reenacted it at home! So cute!

    • June 28, 2011 10:04 pm

      I have a feeling I might miss a few things “on purpose” as well.

  45. magicofspice permalink
    June 28, 2011 1:48 pm

    What on earth is a Willy Wonka wrap party?…:)
    I can’t believe they did not announce the graduation…at least that way you could have decided yourself. Cute that you reenacted it at home though 🙂

    • June 28, 2011 10:05 pm

      Maya was in a production of Willy Wonka and they had a wrap party for the cast. 🙂

  46. June 28, 2011 2:18 pm

    Omg Ameena, I totally feel ya. I’d be SO upset if the school didn’t notify me of something like this. Heck, I get upset when I don’t get notified if I’m able to tag along on K’s field trips or not.

    Congrats to Maya! She’s simply adorable in her cute outfit and graduation hat!

  47. June 28, 2011 2:57 pm

    I think you can be angry about both of them. I have mixed opinion about acknowledging everything kids do but a cute pic like this never hurts.I think not notifying is too too bad, hope Maya was not upset.

    Maya look very cute.
    Congrats! to the lil graduate.

  48. June 28, 2011 5:03 pm

    I’m annoyed at both, but more annoyed that you weren’t aware. The only solution is to worry about it for 15 years and then ask her if she remembers. Which, she probably won’t. She’ll be too busy reliving her memories in Paris.

  49. June 28, 2011 8:15 pm

    Oh my…Maya is precious with her tassle, but it is hard to believe that kindergartners have to do the graduation nonsense. I hated going to my high school graduation, and I didn’t even walk when I received my BA. But I’m so sorry that you didn’t know about it! Silly school people. Thanks for sharing, sweet woman.

  50. June 28, 2011 8:57 pm

    Hmm…I remember my kindergarten “graduation.” The wicked fellows made me dress like Ronald McDonald, and made my brother dress like a crab. We did some ridiculous dance for the fawning parents.

  51. June 29, 2011 12:22 am

    aww she looks cute with that hat 🙂 …. and there is a ghost in ur tv screen 😛

  52. June 29, 2011 6:48 am

    I still remember my mom’s frustration with everyone being “too special” at my public elementary school – it’s interesting. I just finished working at an elementary school in Spain, where I can definitely say the children are treated well and with lots of love, but they aren’t led to believe everything they do is worth celebrating.

    Enjoying your blog so far!

    http://www.whatsgthatsg.wordpress.com

  53. Leslie permalink
    June 29, 2011 3:18 pm

    What excuse did the school offer?

    I’m of 2 minds with you… I mean, really?, kindergarten graduation? But then at that age, Mom is the most important person in the Entire Wide World of 7 Billion People, so she gots ta b dere. Maya looks like she got over it, I’m glad to say.

  54. June 29, 2011 3:37 pm

    Honestly, it’s all I’ve been hearing about. Work friends’ kids graduating from grade six, grade eight and Brownies to Girl guides. I agree, does every single thing need to be celebrated? My friend with the sixth grader said that one kid suggested they rent a limo to get to the school!

    Recently when I was complaining (again) about the high cost of two kids in daycare, my friends with older kids in sports and other activities let me know that it never gets less expensive.

  55. June 29, 2011 7:17 pm

    Just look at it as more fodder for her future therapist.

    I don’t get kindergarten graduation either, but I would definitely be miffed that I missed out because someone else failed at planning.

  56. June 30, 2011 11:57 am

    My kids had a ‘pre-k’ graduation….they did the whole production – I don’t get it really either? I cannot believe the school didn’t send anything out – no excuses for that in my eyes. They should have at least sent a letter home!

  57. June 30, 2011 1:41 pm

    I agree that this “graduation” stuff is ridic. I have a 15 yo, 13 yo and 10 yo. Only the youngest had a pre-K grad so I think this is a newer phenomenon. It was outdoors in May in GA and we were counting the minutes till it was over. I always correct people when they say “fifth grade graduation” for ex. I say 5th grade promotion. My hubs teaches 5th grade and you should see the parents hootin and hollerin but he reminds that he hopes they all participate in their hs graduation one day.
    Love your girl’s photo!

  58. June 30, 2011 7:32 pm

    Don’t get me started. Well, I guess it’s too late. I think it’s not a bad think to mark the end of the kindergarten year, but it shouldn’t be a graduation. That’s just silly. Maybe a party. But it’s been a long-standing annoyance to me how schools neglect to tell you the important things and yet can quickly ask for things. I’ve been dealing with it for 12 years now.

  59. July 5, 2011 6:25 am

    Kindergarten graduation ceremony, sounds cute!
    You really missed quite a thing Ameena 🙂

  60. July 5, 2011 7:22 pm

    You should be upset at it all. I mean, it’s absurd. So was middle school graduation. Parents have to pay to get them some fancy outfit, then give up a night of their lives to see junior cross a pretend stage to go on to some meaningless next grade? It’s over-celebratory if you ask me.

  61. July 10, 2011 8:54 am

    Uh did they really forget to tell you? WTH?

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