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The Pot Calling the Kettle…

June 23, 2010

“Do you have your keys, wallet, glasses, and iPhone?”   

This is the standard question I pose to Ali anytime we are leaving our house, my parent’s house, a restaurant, a movie theater, a plane, or anywhere Ali could have possibly emptied the contents of his pockets.  I try to be understanding…I mean I’d rather Ali lose things than carry around a murse, but I do believe he’s taken things to a new level with his forgetfulness.   

I'm sorry but unless you are from and live in Europe please don't carry a murse. Photo courtesy of JoeinDC/Flickr.

 
Example 1: Ali lost his first cell phone 5 days after I met him.  He hasn’t stopped losing them since. 

Example 2: After a long flight back from Turks and Caicos last year Ali realized he’d left our car key at airport security.  We were at the airport parking lot freezing our tails off when he made that lovely discovery and a year later Maya still won’t forgive him for it.    

I didn’t think it could get worse but if you can believe it, Ali actually lost his car for about 12 hours, which brings us to…   

Example 3: Ali left his car parked a few miles away at my brother’s apartment and then proceeded to forget about it until the next morning when he had to get to work and realized his car was not downstairs.  So there we were at 6am, Ali needing his car to get to work, me needing to make Maya’s breakfast and lunch, wake her up, get her ready for school, and be at work at 8am.  So I did what any other doting wife would do…I told Ali to take the bus to collect his lost car.    

I can be a mean b@#$% too often sometimes.   So it probably serves me right that I recently lost my car key for the first time.  I thought I’d left it at my friend Nadia’s house (which was where I left my car), but when we got back to her place I couldn’t find it anywhere! Luckily it turned up later but Ali had to drop me at my car the next day.  

You’d think he’d take the opportunity to rub it in, right?  No, not Ali.  And not only did he not say a word about me inconveniencing him, but I can guarantee you he hasn’t stored any of the aforementioned events in his mind to use against me on a future occasion.

You’d think I’d take this opportunity to learn a little something about patience and understanding from him, right? But as much as I’d like to, I can pretty much guarantee that won’t happen either.

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53 Comments leave one →
  1. June 23, 2010 2:34 pm

    You know, I’d rub it in my husband’s face, too. And he would never rub it in mine. Are the men nicer? Or just forgetful? I vote for No. 2. 😉

    • Med permalink
      June 23, 2010 6:50 pm

      I noticed this too and ask myself the same question! I think they might be nicer somehow.

      Very sweet ending to this post Ameena.

  2. Leah @ Why Deprive? permalink
    June 23, 2010 2:39 pm

    Oh my goodness. My boyfriend is the SAME way!! It makes me crazy though, and because Im mean, I yell at him.

    In the time we’ve been together he has lost his cell phone about 12 times. He actually has a pay as you go phone for when he loses his real one. His wallet/visa/drivers license have all been replaced repeatedly. I dont think he even knows if the license in his wallet is actually valid or if its an old cancelled one. And the best part? His car had 6kms of gas left when we pulled up to the gas station on the weekend. We were at least 15 kms from his house, he opens his wallet, and no debit card. Actually, no anything – it was the wrong wallet. Couldnt go anywhere because he had no gas. I had to pay. I was not impressed let me tell you. I may have caused a scene right there at the gas station.

    • June 23, 2010 2:54 pm

      The wrong wallet? Whose wallet did he have?

      Now that is something Ali hasn’t done before!!

      • Leah @ Why Deprive? permalink
        June 23, 2010 6:21 pm

        He has about 40 wallets because he keeps losing them. Each one contains a drivers license, and usually a cancelled debit card. He switches back and forth all the time. Its ridiculous. But dont worry, I made him pay me back! 🙂

  3. June 23, 2010 2:40 pm

    I am the scatter brain in our home! BIG TIME. Too rushed all the time…to busy multi tasking.

    I am good at making sure everyone else has their things…but me? not so much.

    I lost my car a few times…but not like that…this whole post but a big fat smile on my face

    and Ali…it was super SUPER sweet of you to not rub it in! KUDOS to you

    Have a great day Ameena!

  4. June 23, 2010 2:54 pm

    hahah. wow too funny about “losing” his car. i have some friends who are the same way and it drives me bonkers. too nice of him not to rub it in though 🙂

  5. June 23, 2010 2:54 pm

    Awww, men can be so sweet! Andrew is way more patient and forgiving than me. And I agree… murses are just ridiculous.

  6. June 23, 2010 2:55 pm

    what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man! abe doesn’t rub things in either. come to think of it, neither do i!

  7. traynharder23 permalink
    June 23, 2010 2:57 pm

    my dad and mom are like that. SAVE up things to rub in. but i think sometimes it’s in fun. or i HOPE SO (sometimes i can’t undersatnd the bickering in taiwanese…and don’t want to.)

    but that’s nice of him to not rub it in. maybe because he knowssss you have more ammo. =D

    sorry i can’t be there today- i don’t want you guys to catch my bug that i have! =( next week for SURE!

    and yes, i am pretty scatterbrained. weirdly, my sister pulleda stunt like this today! =D

  8. June 23, 2010 3:05 pm

    Mj is the forgetful scatter brain in our house MOST of the time. It’s so annoying sometimes that he has to forget stuff all over the place! But, I must say although I try and mostly do succeed at being organized it happens to me to and oh how I hate it when it does.

  9. June 23, 2010 3:10 pm

    I actually thought of getting Gary a murse once cause I’m so lazy to carry everything around so I thought maybe if I got him a murse he would carry everything for me. I asked him if he would want a “man bag” but he didn’t want to have anything to do with that thought lol. Then I tried to bribe him with a really nice brand name one, which he said made it worse. He’d rather carry around a garbage bag.

    Men and women are sooo different. Thank God we’re the b*tch**r ones :-D. Huge kudos to Ali for not rubbing it in!

  10. June 23, 2010 3:10 pm

    You know, I am so judgmental sometimes, though I realize I make many of the same mistakes I so criticize. Like, if I’m in the car, I hate pedestrians. I call them all sorts of names to ridicule their obliviousness. If I’m a pedestrian, I hate drivers. I call them all sorts of names to ridicule their obliviousness. You get my point 😉 My husband is very much above rubbing things in my face, though I imagine those sweet words — “I told you so” — must sit in his throat quite often. I like to think I’m totally perfect, but I’m not. I’m a space cadet just like anyone else. I’m hoping this realization will make me more compassionate…one day.

  11. June 23, 2010 4:26 pm

    i can be a mean beoootch too. sometimes its just life tho right, i mean sometimes everything pisses me off and sometimes im so laid back theres not a worry in my mind. haha but murses… they PISS ME OFF!

  12. June 23, 2010 4:31 pm

    Oh gosh, the third example made me laugh big time. Car keys I can understand losing, but forgetting that you left your car somewhere else? I can’t imagine forgetting about something so important! You guys definitely have some interesting car issues 😉

  13. June 23, 2010 4:33 pm

    I think men are just nicer that way, rubbing in is just not their thang.

  14. June 23, 2010 4:53 pm

    I recently lost my set of work keys- still haven’t told the boss because I’m crossing my fingers they’ll show up. But I’m frustrated that I cannot access my granola bar stash…

  15. June 23, 2010 5:20 pm

    I love the term murse. I also recently starting using the term “moobs” for man boobs (some of the men at the apartment’s pool are seriously a hot mess) 🙂

  16. June 23, 2010 5:20 pm

    You’ve got a nice decent guy there. He’s a keeper.

  17. June 23, 2010 6:05 pm

    This post made my day – I ask Zach the same question every time we go somewhere! 🙂 I also keep a running mental list of where his keys, wallet, belt, shoes, iphone, and slippers are throughout the house on a constant basis for whenever the “where is my ___?” question arises… 🙂 *giggles*

  18. June 23, 2010 6:12 pm

    Isn’t it funny how women remember EVERY SINGLE THING?? My hubby never remembers anything he could’ve easily used later for ammo…

    • nadia permalink
      June 23, 2010 10:10 pm

      Classic!! you are so right…that’s the lesson here…women just can’t forget a damn thing! hilarious and so true!

  19. thehungryscholar permalink
    June 23, 2010 6:20 pm

    I lose things a lot, so I cannot really talk. Haha.

  20. June 23, 2010 6:26 pm

    Props to Ali. Major props. I always knew he was a good one. I could always see through your teasing and complaining. Ha!

    Can you tell I rub things in?

    I don’t have any experiences with boyfriends or husbands. Only my brother. And my brother happens to be incredibly awesome, too.

    Aren’t murses just smaller versions of the messenger bag? Men with messengers are not strange-looking.

  21. June 23, 2010 6:56 pm

    Murse…. :::Shudder:::

  22. June 23, 2010 6:58 pm

    Oh poor Ali! I am also notorious for losing things, and my poor husband has to try to be as patient with me as possible!

  23. June 23, 2010 8:27 pm

    So nice of him not to rub it in to you. My husband is the same way too and I’m the mean one…but slowly learning to control it.

  24. June 23, 2010 10:21 pm

    I have an absent minded hubby, too. But mine forgets things I just told him to do 2 minutes prior, and then I wonder why he’s staying there looking into space when he’s supposed to be doing __________. Le sigh!

    I think I’d get pretty frustrated if he lost the car keys or the car! He claims it’s ADD, I say he’s just not trying hard enough to focus, lol.

    Jenn

  25. June 24, 2010 2:56 am

    This is so funny! I remember the first time I lost my car keys — they were actually locked inside my car. So embarassing, lol! 🙂

  26. June 24, 2010 3:02 am

    I couldn’t help but laugh at your “men shouldn’t be carrying purses” tag that went along with this. It’s true. But funny.

    I used to be REALLY forgetful and would my cell phone in public bathrooms all around college. Thankfully it was always found or returned. But a car? I don’t think I could lose a car…

  27. June 24, 2010 3:26 am

    Sigh. Ryan is the same way. If he does something stupid, I RUB it in his face, say “I told you so,” etc. If I do the same thing, he is SO nice about it. How did we end up with such nice men? 🙂

  28. June 24, 2010 4:54 am

    I think a murse is really useful if you live in a city and don’t have a car. Men seem to use their car as their personal locker, but when you’re pedestrian then a murse seems like a good alternative.

  29. June 24, 2010 5:45 am

    Oh my husband is the same way. I am always quick to say I told you so but when I do something stupid he NEVER says anything. We are spoiled! haha!

  30. June 24, 2010 6:31 am

    Ugh, my husband is the same way. He loses or breaks everything. It drive me crazy!

  31. June 24, 2010 6:40 am

    Bahaha a murse. I teach that phrase to everyone.

  32. June 24, 2010 6:52 am

    Never heard of the word “murse” before until I read your post. What a cute word! Actually I don’t think that murse bag in the picture is all that bad. It’s just sort of like a messenger bag or sling bag right?

    My dad has pretty much a good memory. On the contrary it’s my mum that keeps leaving bits and bobs here and there!

  33. Jessica permalink
    June 24, 2010 7:23 am

    Murses should be outlawed.

  34. June 24, 2010 7:29 am

    aw how nice of Ali 🙂
    I am the queen of losing things! My boyfriend is very patient with me though… I am also incapable of using the “cell phone pocket” in my purse and spend about 5 minutes rifling though my bag every time I need my phone!

  35. June 24, 2010 8:16 am

    haha this is great. it happens to Adam (my bf) all the time too except its not with car keys (we don’t drive) but with our train passes. Get to the train and who forgot or has lost their train pass? I’ll give you two choices and one of them is not me!

  36. highonhealthy permalink
    June 24, 2010 8:40 am

    I’m fairly forgetful but it’s more that I forget things like.. people, events, what I was talking about, etc. When it comes to material objects I’m actually quite good at remembering where I put them – when I lose them I can usually go over what I did before I lost the item, retrace my steps, and boom, item found.

  37. June 24, 2010 10:27 am

    Haha, my man is the exact same way. Every time we go to leave the house, it is a 10 minute search for his keys, wallet and phone.

  38. June 24, 2010 1:25 pm

    I admire how honest you are with yourself. Most guys are just so…laid back. I don’t think they consider things half as much we do. I got a puppy recently and his trainer told me that dogs live in the moment. When they experience something annoying or hurtful they move on and it doesn’t occur to them to look back. I have three brothers and they all act like this. Am I comparing men to dogs? Maybe.
    Man maybe I’m a bitch too.

  39. oc2seattle permalink
    June 24, 2010 4:06 pm

    Sounds too too familiar. Last week my husband lost his car key and couldn’t use my car even though I was out of town because my car keys were locked in his car! After much drama, he eventually found the key in his pants pocket (where I told him to look) 😉

  40. June 24, 2010 6:48 pm

    I hate murses. And tevas. (Yes, I know, that was random, but I could go on forever about how much I cringe when I see someone wearing teva sandals or anything that looks like them. Now I feel bad though…no offense to anyone who wears them!)

    Anyway, I have a similar story…I forget things and lose things sometimes, I admit it. But I once dated a guy who forgot something so incredibly stupid, it was funny and kind of pathetic all at once.
    He had driven to a restaurant one night for dinner, but after dinner he felt like walking home so he left the car in the restaurant parking lot and told himself he would pick it up in the morning. However, the next morning, he called me and asked me to meet him to go shopping and said that afterwards he would drive us home. I assumed he had driven to the mall, but he had actually walked. When we were finished shopping we went out to the parking lot and we couldn’t find his car (because it wasn’t there…he WALKED there!), and he started freaking out, saying that his car had been stolen! We spent hours looking for the stupid car, and I listened to him whine about his stolen car, when it was never even there to begin with. Not only did he forget that he had left his car at the restaurant, but he also forgot that he didn’t drive to the mall. How can you forget a walk you took only a few hours ago? The whole thing was so ridiculous. And now it’s a funny story I like to tell.

    Anyway, I don’t mean to be mean…but come on…Ali must have the memory of an elephant compared to that guy!

    • June 25, 2010 9:05 am

      Okay Lauren…you’ve just made Ali look like a total hero compared to this guy you dated. I can’t believe that anyone can be THAT absentminded??

  41. June 24, 2010 9:26 pm

    My uncle has a murse. Looks a bit silly, but I guess he likes it. I find it silly really. hehehe…

  42. anjali permalink
    June 24, 2010 11:37 pm

    let me tell you i am a royal pain in the ass when it comes to doing favors…my dad is just like ALI though…he does literally any boring chore for me, often times i dont even ask him to do them!! he is seriously super selfless,,,i only WISH i had a fourth of his patience when it comes to doing annoying favors
    =)

    LOVEEEEEEE your posts btw…so much more insightful/personal than alot of other fooodie blogs i read (not that i dont ❤ food blogs or anything heheh

  43. June 25, 2010 5:57 am

    I love this post. I am constantly amazed at the lack of logic men display. The forgetfulness, the ‘you didn’t tell me that’…really. And I rub it in constantly…because I’m a mean old cow. 🙂

  44. June 25, 2010 6:41 am

    HELLO…. yes I totally have the same situation in my house too.

    and to murse boy up there… coudn’t he have at least worn it across his chest rather than on his shoulder? GEEZ! LMAO

  45. June 25, 2010 7:04 am

    you tags crack me up 🙂

  46. June 25, 2010 7:04 am

    your*

    wish my computer keys wouldn’t stick!

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