So I’m walking from the bedroom to the kitchen, just minding my own business, when all of a sudden I see this:

And what is this exactly?  Ali’s pajama pants on the floor next to the fireplace.  You can’t tell from this picture but the fireplace is on.  You also can’t tell from this picture but Ali is sitting next to his pants, typing away on his laptop.  

Me: “Why are your pajamas next to the fireplace?”

Ali: “Because they are not dry.”

Me: “I am still very confused as to why they are on the living room floor.”

Ali: “How else do you expect me to dry them?”

I wanted to ask if utilizing the dryer would be completely out of the question but Ali’s attention was already focused back on his second wife, i.e. his laptop and my 30 seconds was up. 

As Ali’s pajamas baked in the living room, I made my way into the kitchen to think about dinner.  Although I’d spent a good $75 at Trader Joe’s on Sunday, the fridge was pretty bare.   I don’t get it!  So I dug deep into the cupboard for inspiration and found a box of quinoa and a few other things that helped make dinner look like it was actually planned:

Once again my Trader Joe’s obsession is quite apparent.

In the past I’ve always cooked quinoa on the stove, but today I decided to use the rice cooker so that I didn’t have to babysit the stove the way Ali was babysitting his pants. 

I bought this little rice cooker for $19 about 9 years ago and it still works great!  Kudos to the Aroma people for making a product that has withstood almost a decade of abuse.

Black Bean Quinoa

1 cup of uncooked quinoa
1.5 cups of defrosted broccoli florets
1/2 cup of black beans
1/3 cup of dried cranberries
1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon of cumin powder
1 teaspoon of turmeric
1/2 cup of peach salsa

1. Rinse and cook the quinoa as directed.
2. In a large bowl add the olive oil, vinegar, cumin powder, and turmeric and mix well.
3. Add the salsa, black beans, and broccoli and mix well.
4. Add the quinoa and mix again.

Ali had this plate along with a piece of breaded Tilapia from Trader Joe’s.  I almost dropped dead from shock when he said dinner was good.  He never gives out compliments voluntarily - usually they are a result of me angrily prying them out of him.

Since his plate was a little too carby for me I had my quinoa alongside a pile of defrosted green beans.  I can get away from eggs once in a while but I just can’t cut the cord on the defrosted vegetables.

An hour later I was hungry again so I had a quarter of one of the Chocolate Fudge Babies that Maya and I made, along with a square of dark chocolate.  The Chocolate Fudge Babies are really good but SO rich. 

I have to go because I just heard a timer go off…I hope it wasn’t a reminder for Ali to turn his pants over.  Don’t laugh…you never know with him.

Goddess For Hire

by Sonia Singh

How often do you find and enjoy a book that makes fun of your culture, the state you live in, arranged marriages, and religion too?  Not often, right?  I didn’t think it was possible either until I found Goddess for Hire by accident on amazon.com one day.  You know how Amazon always suggests purchases when you add something to your cart?  Well, I am the idiot who always ends up ordering the suggested books.  And more.  Let’s just say that for me Amazon is like Target…I go in intending to buy toothpaste  and 45 minutes later I’ve spent $100. 

Anyway, thanks to Amazon’s “Search Inside this Book” feature, Goddess for Hire had me hooked from the second page: “Indian people like to bitch about the big bad British ruling India for two hundred years.  Big deal. Try growing up in Orange County.  Most of my cousins sport blue contact lenses and dye their hair ash-blond.  How’s that for colonial impact?”

Maya Mehra is Indian, unmarried, and 30-years-old.  These three qualities alone qualify Maya as every Indian parent’s nightmare.  To add insult to injury Maya has no career to speak of, no husband on the horizon, and still lives with her parents in Newport Beach, California.  She spends her days shopping and keeping Starbucks in business, while trying to fend off her matchmaking aunts.  She wonders what her purpose in life is but she is too lazy to attempt to figure it out.  Her situation is not just sad but hopeless too, and her family has no idea what to do with her.

One day Maya finds out she is the incarnation of the Hindu Goddess Kali and her job is to save the world with her supernatural powers.  At first she thinks the whole thing is a joke…how can she, a totally non-religious person be a Goddess?  But Maya grudgingly begins fulfilling her purpose of helping others and fighting evil.  Meanwhile she meets Tahir Sahni - a guy her parents are trying to set her up with.  Tahir is handsome, smart, and doesn’t take her crap and Maya finds herself falling in love for the first time.  The only problem?  Tahir is not at all interested in her!

The author’s quick wit and light-hearted writing takes you through the rest of the book and Maya’s adventures as she battles the bad guys and fights to win the only good guy she’s ever wanted.  I found myself laughing constantly as Maya bumbled around Orange County in the canary yellow H2 Hummer her dad refered to as “a weapon of mass destruction.”  I rooted for her and Tahir to have a happy Bollywood-ish ending.  I cracked up constantly at not only the references to the shallow Orange County crowd but at the authors relatable Indian anecdotes  as well.

The premise of this book is ridiculous and silly but I loved it anyway.  It is so nice to finally find an Indian-themed book that doesn’t involve the main character being widowed, tortured by her in-laws, or crying over an arranged marriage.  Don’t get me wrong, I love those kinds of books too, but sometimes you just need a happy, light story that keeps you engaged and laughing for a few hours.

Sonia Singh isn’t going to win any awards for this book but I think her humor, sarcasm, and literary style are great.  If you liked the Shopaholic series you will love this book too!  Definitely check it out.

Is anyone else a fan of Indian authors?  Jhumpa Lahiri, Rohinton Mistry, Monica Ali are a few of my favorites…does anyone have any other suggestions?

I am about to say something that very few married people have ever said…I love my in-laws.  Yes, you heard that right.  They are two of the nicest people I have ever met.  They are also two of the kindest and most generous people I know. I often wonder if they are the reason I married Ali.  (I think Ali wonders the same thing).  The day I met Ali’s mom she gave me a gorgeous dress that was not only exactly my style but the perfect size too.  It was like my mother-in-law had the dress waiting for me, even before she knew I existed! 

As their only grandchild Maya has definitely stolen some of my thunder but I do my best to not be jealous of her.  She is after all only four-years-old.  And my child.  And no good mom should be jealous of her own child, right?  Right. 

So what do I give my in-laws in return for all their kindness and generosity?  I wish I could say I lavish them with gourmet meals and gift certificates to the spa but the truth is that I give them absolutely nothing.  Other than their only grandchild of course.  But Maya aside we really don’t have much else to offer!  So instead we just keep taking (and I say “we” because Ali is just as guilty of taking as me).  We simply can’t help ourselves.  Every time we visit I tell myself, “Ameena, there is no need to take anything!  You were brought up better than that!”  But then my eyes land on something and all my good intentions go out the window. 

The stuff we pilfer can range from a bunch of bananas (there are always about 5 bunches in their kitchen at any given time), to brand new DVD’s, to clothes that just happen to be sitting around with tags on, in my size.  We’ve also been known to take sheets, a vacuum, sparkling water, books (me), shoes (me), software (Ali), TV cables (Ali), travel guides, cutlery, and random pieces of furniture that were just made for our place.  We have no shame.  Sticky Fingers Maya has even gotten in on the act.  Last week she took a pear and a box of Godiva “for later Mama.”  In summary, we consider Ali’s parents’ house our own personal Costco.

So the other day I was innocently wandering around and came across this:

A brand new Rocket Blending Set from Bella Cucina.  The box had never been opened and still had the Macy’s return sticker on it.  Anyone else would reconsider taking something brand new right?  But not me. 

I’ve never used a Magic Bullet but I have a feeling this is another version of that.  I figured a mini-blender would come in handy for Maya’s milkshakes and my flaxseed.  So the Rocket Blending Set was loaded into our trunk (which also belongs to Ali’s parents as Ali is currently between cars), along with a Persian rug, and a $30 piece of Orange Roughy.  Yes I just admitted to taking a piece of uncooked fish home. 

This morning Maya announced she wanted a milkshake for breakfast.  As her wish is always my command, I pulled out the milk, a banana, some frozen strawberries and blueberries, and our Rocket Blending Set, and set to work.

Thirty seconds later we had a smoothie that would put Jamba Juice to shame.  And the absolute greatest thing about this blender?  When you flip the container over and remove the lid it turns into a drinking glass.

Maya chugged the whole thing down in about 5 minutes flat and I didn’t need to wash a separate glass!  We were both happy campers.

Since everything was already out and handy I decided to grind some flax seed too.

I was amazed when the Rocket Blender ground up my flaxseed to a sawdust consistency in about 15 seconds.  It takes my big blender about 5 minutes, a burning smell, and a bit of smoke to do the same work.  Two thumbs up Rocket Blender!

I am excited about the possibilities…pesto, pasta sauce, salad dressing, and even hummus.  Maybe now we won’t have to steal the giant containers of Sabra from my in-laws refrigerator!! 

But then again one can never have too much hummus, right?