Fancy That…Fancy This

Way back when I lived at home and didn’t know anything about anything, New Year’s Eve always seemed so magical.  Looking back I realize it wasn’t the holiday so much as the fact that we never allowed to celebrate it and obviously, the forbidden seems that much more appealing.  My parents were strict.  As in “you can watch a half an hour of TV a day on weekends only” strict.  So it was an exercise in futility to think they’d allow us to actually go out on New Year’s Eve when they barely let us go for a walk at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon. 

As a parent, I totally get it now.  Why on earth would you allow your teenage daughters to go out and party until midnight when there are drunk drivers and other crazy people lurking about?  But back then, my sister and I were much less understanding. 

We tried to make the best of the situation and so we’d run out and buy a bottle of Martinelli’s, a Boboli, and turn on Dick Clark.  We did our best to make it to midnight but every year my sister would be fast asleep by 10pm and I’d follow shortly thereafter.  The next morning we’d wake up, put the unopened Martinelli’s in a cupboard, and wait for the following year when we’d start the process all over again. 

I always promised myself that when I got older I would make sure that New Year’s Eve was a big deal.  But now that I am older everything New Year’s related just seems like way too much work.  Who wants to make reservations at an overpriced restaurant, get dressed up, find a babysitter, celebrate the stroke of midnight with a bunch of strangers, and then hightail it home at 12:01 just so that we can tell everyone we did something interesting?

Well, clearly not us. 

So this is how we spent the day instead:

1. It all started with a visit to the dentist to catch up on my reading have a crown put on.

2. I came home and went postal because the house looked like a hurricane struck.  How does that happen in the span of two hours?  I was so angry that I forgot to take a picture.

3. I recovered from my rage and we went hiking at Franklin Canyon to tire Maya out be one with nature.

Maya still found things to kick around.

And apparently she knows how to focus the camera better than her mother.

This could be a photo worth printing if it wasn’t for Maya wearing clashing colors and a white trash T-shirt. 

“Daddy knows a lot but Mommy knows everything.” 

White trash or not, who can argue with the truth?

4. We came home and appreciated the flowers and tree in our lobby before they are brutally ripped away tomorrow.  Building Management wastes no time concluding the holidays around here.  

5. We had a Mexican fiesta for dinner…I made turkey fajitas and my version of spanish rice for Ali and Maya.

Thank you Trader Joe’s for all your help.  As always I couldn’t have done it without you.

6. The party is just getting started around here…Maya just broke out the Fancy Nancy sunglasses and some Lady Gaga. 

Anything could happen now.

Happy New Year’s!

Jemima J: A Novel About Ugly Ducklings and Swans

by Jane Green

How much do looks matter?  Does an attractive person have a better chance at a good life?  Is life easier for someone with size 4 jeans, good hair, and designer clothes?  Do these people find better mates?  Do they make more money?  Are they more likely to be successful?  Do they have more friends?  Does society judge you less if you look good? 

This book discusses the classic “if…then” scenario.  If I lose 20 pounds then I will find Mr. Right.  If I have nicer clothes then I will have better friends, etc, etc.  But is that always the way things work?  Is it ever the way things work?

Everyone, at least at one point in their lives can relate to Jemima in some way.  We all struggle with our own insecurities.  Maybe it isn’t weight but height (me).  Maybe it isn’t looks but intelligence.  No matter what our insecurity is, Jemima represents us all.  She is overweight, hates her job, and has a huge crush on an “out of her league” co-worker Ben.  She has no real friends to speak of except for Geraldine, a seemingly shallow co-worker, and two extremely selfish roommates who treat Jemima rather terribly.  Things seem so hopeless that Jemima finds her only solace in food, hence the reason she is over 200 pounds. 

Jemima’s world is suddenly shaken up when she discovers the amazing world of online dating.  Where else but on the internet can a person completely reinvent themselves into what they want to be?  And reinvent she does.  She quickly ”meets” Brad, an extremely fit, good-looking gym owner in California and tells him she is a TV personality.  She takes a picture of herself and doctors it to be the person she wants to be – sleek, carefree, and successful.  She sends the photo to Brad and they quickly form a relationship through the internet. 

We soon find out that Brad is her catalyst for change, and trading her bacon sandwiches for a gym membership, Jemima sets off on transformation that leaves her so-called friends in a tailspin.  Her goal….to become the woman in the picture.

Through good old-fashioned exercise and improved eating habits, Jemima manages to trim down to 120 pounds over the next several months.  After reaching her goal weight she reaches out to her co-worker and new friend Geraldine who helps Jemima undergo a hair, makeup, and wardrobe makeover.  To her complete amazement she becomes the girl in the picture. 

Throwing caution to the wind, she embraces her new persona and travels to Los Angeles to meet Brad in person.  Initially she is thrilled to be living her dream – she looks great, has a great looking, wealthy boyfriend, and is living the American dream.   But in an unexpected twist Jemima soon finds out what Brad is really about and realizes that being skinny and pretty might not be the answer to her problems.

This is an amazing, uplifting Cinderella story.  No matter what her weight, I loved Jemima’s character.  The author did a great job making this an easy read but one with a message for all of us.  I read this many times and each time I was able to take away something new. 

Needless to say this book is definitely in my top 10.  As an avid reader, this is a pretty strong statement.  This particular book is Jane Green’s first novel and is truly the best of the bunch.  The only bad part of this book?  The fact that it had to end.

Do you think that attractive people have it easier in life?  Would you rather be intelligent and unattractive?  Or gorgeous and not-so-smart?  Do you know anyone who seems to have it all?  What do you think about that?

Sunday was a day of rest.  We spent the day sitting in front my parent’s fireplace reading,

and having tea, crumpets, oatmeal bars, and dried fruit and nuts.

It was freezing cold (hence why we huddled next to the fireplace) but the sky was clear and the sunset was amazing.

Little did we know how much we’d appreciate all the relaxation when Monday rolled around.

We’d been planning to go to Disneyland for a while and since Ali and I are both off work and Maya’s school is closed, we figured, why not Monday? 

Most people just drive down to Disney buy tickets at the gate and go from there.  Not us.  Why?  Because we can never do anything the easy way.

Ali began planning and strategizing Christmas Day.  He poured over a number of websites trying to find a deal on tickets (no luck), then memorized the park’s map and selected the attractions we’d be visiting, and finally put together a schedule for the day.  Maya and I were just relieved it included bathroom breaks.

We were told to report at 06:00 hours on Monday morning.  We were too terrified to argue about the early call time.  It doesn’t happen often, but when Ali means business, he means business.  So after cramming some breakfast down our throats, a la GI Jane, Ali treated us to a roller coaster simulation as we went careening down the 5 freeway.  We had not only the car’s GPS telling us where to go, but Ali frequently consulted his iPhone GPS too.  One can never have too many directions. Meanwhile, in the backseat Maya looked a little green but she knew deep down there were not going to be any stops, no matter what.  I’m pleased to note she was too scared to throw up.

Forty minutes later Maya and I were a bit shaken but happy to be at Disneyland with no visible scars.  The park was fully decked out for Christmas:

Ali wasn’t able to appreciate the decor due to his furious pace through Main Street.  I could barely keep up but was still able to catch a bit of his muttering that he didn’t understand how other people had gotten there before us.

We made our way through a bunch of rides in an hour and a half because there was absolutely no wait.  At that point I had to hand some kudos to Ali for making us get there early.  It nearly killed me. 

Pirates of the Caribbean, Teacups, Dumbo, and Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride were some of Maya’s favorite rides.

Ali stopped checking his watch to smile for this picture, but then we were a few seconds late for Toon Town.

Luckily we all agreed it was overrated so we were able to leave Toon Town a minute or two early to make up for the photo opportunity.

“No more pictures, Mama.”

Once our bootleg snacks were finished Ali and Maya demanded lunch.  By this time we stopped congratulating ourselves on picking a slow day to be at the Happiest Place on Earth and started worrying that soon there wouldn’t be enough room for us to walk. 

After a number of attempts to find a restaurant without a 45 minute wait or hot dogs on the menu, we found the Blue Bayou.  I truly had no illusions that this restaurant would be good, after all, where can you get decent food at an amusement park? 

I ordered the Cajun Salmon with rice and vegetables and am pleased to say it was excellent!  The salmon was cooked to perfection and had a nice, spicy kick to it.  I didn’t eat much of the rice but the vegetables were good too.  Even better was that they sent the chef out to personally speak with me when I requested no butter/cheese.  It was amazing that they not only accommodated my food allergies but were so nice in the process.

After lunch we headed to Autopia so Maya could drive.  I wasn’t too surprised when we hit traffic.

And naturally, in that traffic we saw a girl doing her lipstick.

Again, not surprised.

We felt warm and fuzzy after visiting It’s a Small World:

We overpaid for some face painting:

Rode some germy horses:

And some of us consumed a ridiculous amount of ice cream with our germy hands:

By this time I was fading fast…too many people, too chilly, and I was way too tired.  So we made one last stop to buy some new ears:

And then drove home and collapsed.  I was hoping that Maya’s Disney adventure would tire her out for a few days but this morning she woke up bright and early and asked, “What are we doing today, Mama?”

I have no idea, Maya.  I have no idea.