days 1-5
ramadan…thus far…
monday: up at 3:45 am. had oatmeal and a peach. managed not to throw up. hit the gym at 4:45 am. spent the day working at my computer. got mad that i still don’t have a “shift” key. took an afternoon nap to get over my anger. ate too much at 7:56 pm. felt sick. ate more. went to bed.
tuesday: had a vegetable omelet at 4 am. commended myself for getting in my 5-a-day before dawn. hit the gym. spent the day wondering how long the grammar police will overlook my no-caps situation. ate a crappy dinner. collapsed at 11 pm.
wednesday: couldn’t sleep. decided to get up at 3:30 am. choked down a variety of homeopathic remedies that are precariously keeping my eczema under control. felt sorry for myself. spent the first half of the day tracking the whereabouts of my new computer. spent the rest of the day pissed off at ali for forgetting to order my new computer. ate too much cheese and crackers. and chocolate.
thursday: tried to eat at 4 am but felt gross from too much chocolate just hours earlier. realized that day 4 out of 30 days does not yield an acceptable fraction and that without proper fractions what exactly do i have? had two handfuls of chex, a bunch of raisins, half a scone, and too many chocolate truffles from one lucky duck. felt gross again.
today: suddenly realized that as hard as today is going to be with no food, water, or capital letters, it’s nothing compared to what the next 3 weeks are going to be like when maya gets back from my in-laws place. felt better when i realized that today is day 5. 5/30 reduces to 1/6 and thus ramadan is 1/6 over.
which leaves just 25 more days to go…
***Any avid readers out there? I just reviewed Silver Girl by Elin Hilderbrand on my sister site thefancybookshelf.wordpress.com.***
ameena 2.0
it all started with something as seemingly innocuous as a stuck “shift” key.
ali wasn’t home and wouldn’t be for hours so i took matters into my own hands in an attempt to repair my keyboard. i did this knowing full well that messing with a computer – unsupervised – was dangerous and would most likely result in my husband’s wrath. but i did what i had to do: i pulled “shift” off, cleaned it, and replaced it.
as you can see from this uppercase-less post, i should have waited. i should have deferred to the expert. but i didn’t and the sh#$ hit the fan when the expert got home.
ali: “what were you thinking? anyway, a broken shift key should be the least of your worries. how is it possible that you are using this outdated piece of crap? i feel like it’s 1994 again and i’m on dial-up.”
me: “it’s just been getting worse and now that the keyboard is broken I -“
ali: “whatever. it’s embarrassing. seriously, i’m embarrassed.”
ali stormed out of the room and since then can barely stand being in the same house with me and my outdated laptop. i’m just hoping that for the good of my marriage my newly ordered computer comes sooner rather than later.
otherwise the computer might not be the only thing being upgraded around here.
it’s that time again…
This weekend I plan to eat WHATEVER I WANT (and yes, the all caps is necessary). Why? Well because Ramadan starts bright and early Monday and that means that for the next 30 days I will once again be:
- Hungry and thirsty for 15 + hours.
- Continuously calculating how much time is left until sunset when I can eat.
- Mentally berating myself for calculating how much time is left until sunset when I can eat.
- Watching the Food Network obsessively.
- Fuming at those who complain that giving up chocolate for Lent is SO hard.
- Organizing everything in sight to make the day go by faster.
- Attempting to master the art of patience. Especially with Maya.
- Screaming at Maya non-stop despite my attempt to master the art of patience.
Poor kid has no idea what she's in for during the next 30 days...
Every year I tell myself that I’m going to be my most kind, understanding, and charitable self during Ramadan. But this year I’ve pushed my idealistic notions aside so I can be prepared instead. And thus I’ve enrolled Maya in as many classes as I can find so we can minimize our interactions.
So maybe I’m not getting as much out of this month as other, more religious people are. But at least I get points for my honesty, right?
I hope so.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 