things i won’t miss
I’m trying really hard to think of reasons why I don’t like Europe so that I can lessen the blow of being back home.
Here’s what I won’t miss:
- Having to order bottled water at meal times. After 9 days and approximately $150, I am very much over the European bottled water monopoly. L.A.’s polluted tap water? Yes please.
We headed to an Indian restaurant in Madrid. Rice and dal are the perfect foods when you need a vacation detox. Which I did.
- Wearing all black ensembles. Did I ever mention my packing strategy? 99% of the stuff I pack is black – this means I don’t have a problem getting dressed in the morning and it maximizes coverage against Maya’s vomit. But after 9 days I’m very excited to have access to my entire closet again.
Shrimp, caviar, and mango salad at La Rotonda in Madrid. I will never acquire a taste for caviar.
- Having to ask Maya, “Are you going to throw up?” every five seconds. As you may be able to tell, my world revolves around Maya and her barf. Sad but true.
I had one bite of this lava cake and realized I might as well hook myself up to an IV of sugar - it was that sweet. Ali polished it off with no problem though.
- Eating at ridiculous times. Who eats dinner at 9:30 pm? I don’t get that about Spain. I need to eat by 7:30 pm otherwise I feel disgusting going to bed on a full stomach. Is it just me?
This was the calm before the storm because Maya threw up very shortly after I took this photo. And I had a feeling she would.
- The scarcity of butter. I love butter. I actually sometimes just eat it straight up – I know how gross that is but I can’t stop. So you can imagine my frustration in Europe where they grudgingly hand you a dainty sliver and get annoyed when you ask for more. My butter dish and I are reunited – and it feels so good.
too much food
Breakfast buffets have been my downfall lately. I’ve been reasoning that if I’m going to pay 35 euros for breakfast then I’m going to get my money’s worth.
I blame my Indian father for this ridiculous logic.
Afternoon tea at the Ritz-Carlton in Madrid.
So I’ve gone from simple breakfasts at home consisting of protein shakes to eating lavish plate after plate of things like smoked salmon covered with cream cheese and capers. Scrambled eggs loaded with butter and salt. Samosas. Pancakes. Fresh mozzarella. Dried figs and raisins.
The best smoked salmon - at the Westin Madrid breakfast buffet.
Jam straight out of a tiny jar – no bread needed. Digestive biscuits. Nutella on a spoon. Churros with chocolate – sorry, I don’t understand the appeal of this dessert! Spanish donuts. Too much tea and coffee. Freshly squeezed orange juice.
Sitting under this beautiful stained glass in the hotel restaurant each morning didn't exactly make me want to stop eating.
When we reached Madrid I realized I had to stop. I had to stop before my clothes stopped fitting and I was faced with a whole new set of problems.
The hotel definitely felt like a palace...so pretty.
So for breakfast today I had a piece of toast, a kiwi, and a glass of water.
I felt like I let my dad down but at least I didn’t feel sick to my stomach.
Our living room at the Westin Palace Madrid.
Ali, on the other hand, consumed a bowl of fruit, an omelet stuffed with avocado, a bowl of cereal, 2 croissants covered in raspberry jam, a sourdough roll, a glass of both orange and pomegranate juice, and 2 cups of tea loaded with sugar. All at one meal.
How much you want to bet he hasn’t gained an ounce?
europe is expensive
A conversation between Ali and I when we landed in Barcelona a few days ago:
Ali: “I’m not paying 25 Euros per day per device for Internet.”
Me: “You say this every time we come here. I understand that the cost is ridiculous, but it is what it is.”
Park Guell in Barcelona
Ali: “It’s 6 Euros more here per day than it was in Paris. They are robbing us!”
Me: “We paid 30 Euros for 5 shrimp last night. That works out to about $10 per shrimp. The Internet is a bargain when you think of it in those terms.”
Maya getting a crepe lesson at the Ritz-Carlton in Barcelona
Ali: “I have to figure out a plan B.”
Me: “Do whatever you need to do. All I know is that I need the Internet so I can do work. Make it happen.”
Gorgeous lobby at the Ritz-Carlton...one of the nicest hotels I have ever stayed at.
At this point Ali took off to the lobby muttering something about an Ibahn monopoly – so I can only piece together what happened next: Ali hopped on someone’s unsecured network and then Skyped with his office’s offshore helpdesk. Together they concluded they could make Ali’s laptop a hotspot!
After patting each other on the back – virtually of course – the hot spot came to life.
Ali: “Now we can connect your laptop, my laptop and the iPad all at once!”
New Year's Eve at Cafe Divinio in Barcelona
Forget the Sagrada Familia and Park Guell – obviously having Internet on 3 devices for the price of one is a feat that not even Gaudi could ever surpass.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 