those people
Some parents experience separation anxiety when leaving their children with others. We are not those people.
Actually, Ali and I started leaving Maya with my in-laws when she was a mere 3 days old. Looking back, I think leaving a 3 day old is rather harsh. But my excuse for this is that I came down with a terrible flu.
Plus I was just straight up exhausted and needed a break.
12/23/12: At the Beverly Hills Christmas Tree.
In any case, Maya spends almost as much time with her grandparents as she does with us. And if we weren’t an hour away in LA traffic I’m quite certain the ratio would be much higher, in their favor.
Still, we haven’t spent a Christmas apart from Maya. Until now.
It all started when I found out my office was closing for two weeks. Then Ali mentioned he had some vacation time. And then I learned there were still direct flights available to London.
Everything fell into place.
Beverly Wilshire Hotel: Where Ali and I were married more than 12 years ago.
Except Maya decided to throw a wrench into my plans: “But we just came back from a trip…I don’t want to go again. Can we stay home?”
Good parents would say, “Of course we can stay home for Christmas and celebrate as a family.” But again, we are not those people.
Beverly Wilshire Lobby Christmas Tree and Candy Bar, at a fountain in Beverly HIlls.
So we wrote a note to Santa to please swing by our place 2 days early, we appeased our conscience by plying Maya with material things, I cleaned up the mess, packed up 3 people, and then we dropped Maya off with her grandparents a few hours before we boarded our flight to London.
If Maya was with me right now she’d be driving me bananas. But she’s not with me right now. And truth is that I kind of miss her.
the christmas progression
When I was a kid I dreaded the holiday season.
This was mostly because I was jealous that my classmates came back from Christmas vacation with awesome things like Jelly Shoes and Michael Jackson records (yes, I am THAT old), while I came back with nothing but memories of fighting with my siblings for 2 weeks.
Maya trimming our Kmart tree…
That’s why I always promised myself that when I got married I’d make Christmas a big deal. And I did.
For one year anyway, until I realized that making a turkey for 20 people in a tiny European-sized oven, cleaning a s@#$-ton of dishes in a tiny European-sized dishwasher, and then paying someone to chop up our Christmas tree on December 26th (Homeowner’s Association Rule # 15, Section 7) is really not as fun as I thought it would be.
I really wanted a tree with equally spaced ornaments…but since Maya was on the decorating committee we unfortunately do not have a tree with equally spaced ornaments.
Here’s how things progressed after year one:
- Year 2: We bought a 4 foot tree, called over our parents, and pre-ordered a turkey from Bristol Farms.
- Year 3: We bought a table top tree from Trader Joe’s, invited my brother over, and I made Shake ‘N Bake.
- Year 4: We celebrated Christmas at an Italian restaurant in Dubai.
- Year 5: Maya burst onto the scene and we forewent Christmas altogether as her nonstop screaming gave us no alternative.
Christmas at The Grove.
Now that Maya is older I am once again making an effort. Mostly because I don’t want her to be the kid who doesn’t come back to school in January with Lip Smackers or a collection of very cool erasers.
(Can you tell I’m still traumatized from my elementary school days?)
Classy Maya at Dylan’s Candy Bar at The Grove licking chocolate off a wrapper.
So Christmas will never be a Hallmark moment – our pre-lit fake Kmart tree will forever ensure that. But I’m thinking that as long as I stay away from the Shake ‘N Bake things will likely be…okay.
nervous
When I was a kid I had this nervous habit of blinking my eyes really hard.
I have no idea why I used to do this but I do know that my parents did everything they could think of to get me to stop.
- They reasoned with me.
- They cajoled me.
- They tried to bribe me.
- They ignored me.
- They made fun of me.
Dinner @ Grand Lux Cafe on Saturday night. Not sure what I’m doing with my hair here but this was better than the pic with my eyes closed.
Nothing worked. Until one fine day, I stopped blinking really hard. I don’t know why I stopped but my parents were thrilled. Or they were for a minute at least, before I started another annoying habit.
And my annoying habits? They continue to this day. Because let’s face it, I’m still not exactly OCD-free.
These days, however, I’m actually a bit concerned that Maya is showing a few of my crazy tendencies. I mean, a part of me is proud of Maya for using a squeegee to obsessively wipe down every inch of the shower doors to prevent mold. And who wouldn’t love a child that uses her elbow to push the Crosswalk button?
Ice Skating to “Gangnam Style.”
But I’m fairly certain Dr. Phil would not approve of this behavior in a 7-year-old. Truthfully, I have more than a little bit of fear that Maya is turning into….me.
And being the kind of person who stockpiles antibacterial wipes is no way to live.
Desperate times call for desperate measure, so I tried my parent’s 5 prong approach to combat the problem. But aside from a giggle at the statement, “Just because Mama is crazy doesn’t mean you have to be crazy too,” and a now broken Slinky from the Target $1 section, I think it’s safe to say nothing is working.
Clockwise: Coupa Cafe, Date Muffins and Banana Muffins at home, Breakfast for One , Dessert at Cafe Roma
So right now we’re full circle back to “ignore.” And I’m thinking maybe Ali might have some insights here? Because he seems to have no trouble ignoring the entire situation.
While I continue to obsess….
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 