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those people

December 26, 2012

Some parents experience separation anxiety when leaving their children with others. We are not those people.

Actually, Ali and I started leaving Maya with my in-laws when she was a mere 3 days old. Looking back, I think leaving a 3 day old is rather harsh. But my excuse for this is that I came down with a terrible flu.

Plus I was just straight up exhausted and needed a break.

photo 3

12/23/12: At the Beverly Hills Christmas Tree.

In any case, Maya spends almost as much time with her grandparents as she does with us. And if we weren’t an hour away in LA traffic I’m quite certain the ratio would be much higher, in their favor.

Still, we haven’t spent a Christmas apart from Maya. Until now.

It all started when I found out my office was closing for two weeks. Then Ali mentioned he had some vacation time. And then I learned there were still direct flights available to London.

Everything fell into place.

photo 1

Beverly Wilshire Hotel: Where Ali and I were married more than 12 years ago.

Except Maya decided to throw a wrench into my plans: “But we just came back from a trip…I don’t want to go again. Can we stay home?”

Good parents would say, “Of course we can stay home for Christmas and celebrate as a family.” But again, we are not those people.

photo 2

Beverly Wilshire Lobby Christmas Tree and Candy Bar, at a fountain in Beverly HIlls.

So we wrote a note to Santa to please swing by our place 2 days early, we appeased our conscience by plying Maya with material things, I cleaned up the mess, packed up 3 people, and then we dropped Maya off with her grandparents a few hours before we boarded our flight to London.

If Maya was with me right now she’d be driving me bananas. But she’s not with me right now. And truth is that I kind of miss her.

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80 Comments leave one →
  1. Sheetal permalink
    December 26, 2012 1:53 am

    I dropped in not expecting to see anything on here… (’tis the season for Blog Ignoring). But here you are! A whole new post 🙂 such happiness! You guys make a beautiful family. Merry Christmas!
    P.s: My folks left me with grandparents very early in my life too. I turned out independent and awesome.

    • December 27, 2012 3:17 am

      So unbelievably kind of you to not just wait for a new post but to leave such a kind comment. Thank you Sheetal!

  2. December 26, 2012 3:23 am

    Ah for what it’s worth, as much as you enjoy a lil free time away I bet your in-laws equally (if not more) love having Maya to themselves for a few days :)! Have a fantastic time in London and it’s a shame that we literally just cross each other. I am sure our paths will cross sometime again in the future! Merry Christmas, Ameena!

    • December 27, 2012 3:17 am

      It is a shame we couldn’t meet up but I’m sure we will at some point. Safe travels back home!

  3. December 26, 2012 5:47 am

    I imagine Maya’s loving the time with her grandparents, and you two can have some much needed alone time.

    Enjoy your time in London! (And you’ll see Maya soon.)

    • December 27, 2012 3:18 am

      Maya is probably having a better time with her grandparents…I can’t lie. 🙂

      Thanks for the comment Lisa and happy holidays!

  4. December 26, 2012 5:52 am

    First things first: I looooove your pink coat. Second: I think that it’s super fantastic that you and your husband enjoy getting away just the two of you on a holiday after 12 years of marriage. I’ve had to leave my boys on Christmas before, but for something stupid like work. London is a much better excuse. Hope your Christmas was wonderful!!

    • December 27, 2012 3:18 am

      Thank you for the compliment on my coat!

      And you had to work on Christmas? I am so sorry! Hope that’s not the case ever again!

  5. December 26, 2012 8:23 am

    Have a wonderful stay in London! At least you didn’t have to worry about poor Maya getting sick on the flight. I’m sure Ali’s parents have her well in hand. Enjoy!!

    • December 27, 2012 3:19 am

      So so true. The flight was so uneventful and easy…it was a little vacation it itself.

  6. December 26, 2012 8:47 am

    Have a great time in London! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas. I’m pretty sure Maya is enjoying her time with her grandparents too. Both of my husband & I do not have our family nearby so we couldn’t go by ourselves even if we want to 🙂

    • December 27, 2012 3:19 am

      We are lucky to have Maya’s grandparents so close by…otherwise such trips would not be possible!

      I hope you had a great Christmas as well.

  7. December 26, 2012 12:00 pm

    I am glad that you are having time away. Unfortunately I am one of those parents with separation anxiety but that is because there are no grandparent to take care of them, and the only grandparent they have refuses to babysit twins unless she has hired help. So there is a reason for anxiety. For you everything did fall into place including your parents (in-laws). Merry Christmas Indeed, Enjoy !!!

    • December 27, 2012 3:20 am

      I’m so sorry you don’t have family who can help because it makes all the difference in the world. If I didn’t Maya would be schlepping across the country far more often – she’d really have no choice!

  8. Taking On Magazines permalink
    December 26, 2012 12:10 pm

    I’ll bet she’s having a ball with her grandparents. I have to admit that I do miss Dudette when we used to drop her off at Hubby’s parents….after about three days. :D. In all honesty, we do the happy dance on one side of the door while she’s doing it on the other. I love the fact that she’s that independent and doesn’t mind (even enjoys) being apart from us. Kudos to you guys for raising Maya to have that kind of independent spirit too. Have a blast!

    • December 27, 2012 3:21 am

      I also love that Maya is independent enough to not mind being apart from us. I was the total opposite as a child so I can imagine my mother’s mental state with 3 annoying kids!

  9. December 26, 2012 12:30 pm

    I couldn’t imagine being away from the kiddos at Christmas, but as I am getting older and experiencing more of life I realize there isn’t just one way to do things. I thought you just spent it separately but doing it 2 days early is the perfect solution. I am sure her Grandparents are feeling blessed getting her at such a magical time. Enjoy your time with your husband, it’s a relationship that needs nurturing too. Cheers! & Merry Christmas!

    • December 27, 2012 3:22 am

      Merry Christmas to you as well Marie!

      PS: If I had the picture-perfect Christmas that I know you have we might think differently about leaving. 🙂 I’m sure you do an amazing job!

  10. December 26, 2012 1:25 pm

    I don’t blame you one bit for jetting off to London. If she didn’t want to go and you have wonderful grandparents for her to stay with there is no point in making her go. Hope you had a Great early Christmas and a fabulous trip.

    • December 27, 2012 3:22 am

      Thanks CeCe…I hope you also have a great Christmas and New Year!

  11. December 26, 2012 2:31 pm

    I am sure Maya is having a great time with her grand parents esp if she didnt want to go. Although it might feel weird and you miss not having her around for the first time, its great that you and Ali are getting lone time together 🙂 Happy Holidays to you and your family. BTW Ali is rocking that orange jacket of his 😛

    • December 27, 2012 3:23 am

      On behalf of Ali…thank you for the compliment!

      And Happy Holidays to you as well Dixya!

  12. December 26, 2012 2:38 pm

    Awww…. but I’m sure Maya is enjoying her time with grandparents and you get ur much needed break n relax time.

    • December 27, 2012 3:23 am

      We are so getting a break…woke up at 9:30 this morning and that NEVER happens!

      Happy Holidays Reem!

  13. December 26, 2012 4:05 pm

    it’s such a double edge sword… when we made our escape from our three kids, we spent the whole time reminising about them…. then 10 minutes back with them and i wanted out again. Ahhhh, parenting! have a RAD time!

    • December 27, 2012 3:24 am

      I’m sure that ten minutes after I get home I’ll be wishing I was back on vacation as well! It is a double edged sword.

  14. December 26, 2012 5:02 pm

    Christmas is a flexible holiday! She got the best of both worlds: the Christmas celebration with her parents and also time with your in-laws, and you got your time away as well. Nicely managed. 🙂

  15. December 26, 2012 5:31 pm

    Smart planning, Ameena!!! Everyone got what they wanted – you deserve a pat on your back!!

  16. thedelicateplace permalink
    December 26, 2012 5:58 pm

    ahhh jealous! have fun in london! x

  17. December 26, 2012 6:48 pm

    Hope you are having a great time sans Maya. The good news is that when she is older she will cherish those moments she had with her grandparents, even if it means you weren’t there one Christmas.

    • December 27, 2012 4:01 am

      I’m hoping that she won’t even remember, because I remember SO little about being 7.

  18. December 26, 2012 6:51 pm

    I was laughing when Maya said, “another vacation, again?” Awww… how could you not miss her? I think most people wouldn’t mind getting away from their kids for a bit, but then everyone says they missed their kids a bit. It’s great that you are able to leave them with your in-laws. I need to visit the Reg Bev Wil when I visit LA. Congratulations on 12.5 years! You look beautiful in that hot pink coat. Merry Christmas!

    btw.. sent you an email about next week.

    • December 27, 2012 4:02 am

      Thank you for the compliment…really looking forward to seeing you next week in NYC!

  19. Andrea @ The Skinny Chronicles permalink
    December 26, 2012 8:28 pm

    Good for you, I say! Surely Ali can Skype Maya in for a quick visit?

    I am sure Maya is right at home with her grandparents and probably only marginally misses you anyway. Sadly.

    Enjoy the holidays in London, my dear.

    • December 27, 2012 4:03 am

      We’ve already Face Timed Maya twice. If it weren’t for the time difference I’m sure Ali would have called her even more. He LOVES Face Time and Skype!

  20. December 26, 2012 9:41 pm

    I think that’s just fine … it’s just a day, so celebrating two days early is no big deal 🙂 Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family!

  21. December 26, 2012 10:26 pm

    You know what? I think kids do need to spend time with their grandparents and other extended family, if it’s possible. And I always kind of assumed that it’s ok for grandparents to step in when you need downtime…what can I say? I’m Indian. But I understand what you mean- when I visit my in-laws and leave my son at home to go shopping or some such, I’m constantly texting and wondering if he’s ok. Have a wonderful time in London!!

    • December 27, 2012 4:04 am

      You are a good mother…I don’t even think for a second that Maya needs me to check up on her. My in-laws are more capable than me. 🙂

  22. December 26, 2012 11:08 pm

    If only the grandparents could have come along like familial au paires…

    • December 27, 2012 4:05 am

      Sometimes I think that traveling with a nanny would be great but really, the best scenario is leaving your kids behind. Only then can you have a seriously relaxing vacation!

  23. December 27, 2012 5:43 am

    I’m sure you will really enjoy your time in London! Happy holidays!! 🙂

  24. December 27, 2012 9:14 am

    Ameena,
    I LOVE reading about your fab adventures!!

    I NEVER miss your posts. Have I told you this?

    Don’t you just ADORE London?

    Xxx Peace.

    • December 27, 2012 11:08 am

      You have not told me this but I am so glad that you did…I really appreciate you reading! Happy Holidays my friend!

  25. December 27, 2012 9:29 am

    I love that you and Ali did this! And from your previous posts, it sounds like Maya adores her grandparents. 🙂 Now you can come back recharged and refreshed!

    • December 27, 2012 11:08 am

      Maya adores her grandparents more than Ali and I. I can’t really blame her!

  26. December 27, 2012 9:32 am

    Oh, my sister has zero qualms sending her children to me over holidays. She always has something at work going on, so we just celebrate Christmas later. Who even knows?!

    • December 27, 2012 11:09 am

      You are a good aunt for taking care of your sister’s children!

  27. December 27, 2012 9:41 am

    Gotta do what ya gotta do! Good lesson for her to learn early!

    • December 27, 2012 11:09 am

      I’m all about Maya learning lessons. 🙂 Thanks for the comment Jessica!

  28. December 27, 2012 11:41 am

    Awww, I guess mums will always miss their kids no matter what. And I used to think I was early to be sleeping over at a grandparent’s since when I was a month old, haha 😛

  29. Rufina permalink
    December 27, 2012 6:20 pm

    My sister and I were left with my grand-parents all the time growing up! I’m talking every school holiday, many week-ends, entire summers! My parents enjoyed their time off, and we bonded with my grand-parents in a very special way! You may remember my post about my Grandmother’s Diary…and just how close we were.
    Now that I am older, without kids of my own, I remind my parents of the early years every time I need someone to dog-sit! It’s a big win-win, as far as I see it! 😉
    Enjoy London, as I’m sure you will!!

    • December 31, 2012 3:59 pm

      I wish I had my grandparents around when I was growing up…I envy you (and Maya) for having that bond!

  30. December 28, 2012 2:13 am

    Leaving kids with grandparents is almost like not leaving them at all!

    I’m so glad you’re having fun and pampering in London. 😉

  31. December 28, 2012 2:38 am

    My hubby and I visited London and we left our 1.5 year old with my parents. I remember missing her every single day. it is a tough thing to do but we all need that break at times.
    Season’s greetings!

    • December 31, 2012 3:59 pm

      Season’s Greetings to you as well Anita! Thanks for the comment, as always.

  32. December 28, 2012 6:29 am

    Santa came, Maya didn’t want to go, so everyone’s happy, right? Well not happy, that’s so boring but satisfied? See you next week.

  33. December 28, 2012 9:54 am

    We just left all 4 kids with the grandparents and went to the Turks and Caicos Islands for a week. Did I feel bad about leaving them? Not at all. Did I miss them? Yes, but it was worth it to get a break and to have some uninterrupted conversation with my husband. Have a wonderful Christmas in London!!

    • December 31, 2012 4:00 pm

      Turks and Caicos is so great…did you enjoy yourself? I thought it was more beautiful than Hawaii!

  34. December 28, 2012 12:33 pm

    I think it’s great that Maya spends so much time with her grandparents. The times I spent with my grandparents as a kid are some of my very best memories. The more she time she has with them, the better.

    • December 31, 2012 4:01 pm

      I agree…the more time she has with them the better she’ll be in the long run. I wish I’d had as much interaction with my grandparents!

  35. December 28, 2012 3:44 pm

    Happy holidays!!! I always think I should give my son to my parents (on both sides) to get a break. I can only imagine it as a good thing!

  36. December 28, 2012 10:13 pm

    Your coat looks great. Its awesome that you both are getting some alone time. enjoy your vacation and happy new year:)

    • December 31, 2012 4:01 pm

      Happy New Year to you as well! And thank you for the compliment. 🙂

  37. December 29, 2012 6:17 pm

    Sounds like a perfect way to spend a holiday if you ask me 🙂
    Wishing you and family an amazing 2013!

    • December 31, 2012 4:02 pm

      Happy Holidays to you as well! Hope your new year is fantastic.

  38. December 31, 2012 7:37 am

    Ameena
    I am so glad that as a parent you can separate yourself from your child and still be a couple! I find that all too often parents forget themselves and who they are and just relish int he joys of their children. I am not a parent but around many and I admire that you for doing what most ant to do, but can’t. LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog. Glad you found mine and I’ll be back looking for more updates!

    • December 31, 2012 4:02 pm

      Thank you for the very kind comments on my blog…and thank you for reading! Happy Holidays to you!

  39. January 3, 2013 1:54 pm

    You are lucky to have grandparents so close! We don’t have anyone we can leave the kids with.

  40. January 23, 2013 1:10 pm

    Not everyone has the luxury of free and loving babysitters on call! My daughter does too, and feels just as guilty as you when she leaves the boys behind! Don’t understand you girls 🙂

    • January 26, 2013 7:46 pm

      I don’t understand us either….to be honest! 🙂

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