my left arm
I’m not a nag. I swear I’m not. My husband actually enjoys a fairly nag-free life. Or he does until our house is dirty…as it currently is.
So why is our house dirty? Well because our amazing housekeeper, who usually comes once a week, has been on vacation for the last month.
I realize this should not be a big deal. I know you’re probably thinking, “For crying out loud Ameena, you three should be able to pick up after yourselves. Especially for just four weeks, two of which you weren’t even home.”
I realize that some of you probably want to send me hate mail about how lazy we all are. And you would be justified in doing so! But you can save yourself the effort because I 100% agree…we should be able to clean up after ourselves.
And yet, here’s the problem: I live with two people who are oblivious to the fact that the only way things will work is if there is Order. And lots of it.
This unflattering picture about sums it up…
Initially I tried to be nice about it. “Mrs. Maria is not coming for another week Maya, so we all need to pitch in and clean up.”
Then I tried positive reinforcement. “Thank you for putting your dish next to the dishwasher Ali. That was super helpful.”
Next I resorted to threats. “Mama is going to get in a really bad mood if she trips over your shoes one more time.”
And then I finally lost my Sh$%. “All I do is clean. Clean clean clean. And then you all wonder why I’m in such a bad mood all the time? I can’t imagine why.”
I’d give my left arm for Mrs. Maria to come back. My left arm.
unapproachable
People who don’t know my husband think he’s very unapproachable. One can attribute this to the fact he’s a very serious person by nature.
One can also attribute this to the fact that he’s married to me…and that doesn’t give him much to smile about.
NYC: 24 degrees!
In any case, Ali’s been trying to change since his little cousin asked him, “Why do you always look so scary?”
And while I applaud my husband’s efforts to be friendlier, I think Ali took his attempts at change to a rather…inappropriate level last week.
From Top Left: Pasta at ABC Kitchen, Quinoa at Bryant Park Grill, Breakfast at Pershing Square, Tao (Our favorite restaurant in NYC)
So there we were at the over-hyped Jean-Georges ABC Kitchen when Ali says to the waitress: “I really like the way your bright pink nail polish matches your pink watch.”
While I (obviously) have number of comments surrounding Ali’s compliment, I will bore you with just two:
1. Ali complemented another female…while at dinner with me.
2. My husband, who didn’t notice when I (inadvertently) colored my hair 3 shades lighter, managed to notice that our waitress’ nail polish and watch matched.
New Year’s Eve in London: At the London Eye, Our Hotel The Corinthia, At Midnight (I was half asleep), Fireworks in the Embankment area
I think the waitress also noted the weirdness of the situation because she muttered something along the lines of, “so nice of you to notice” before she disappeared. For the rest of the evening.
The takeaway here? It’s been 8 long years since I had a manicure (I’m not exaggerating). I’m thinking it might be time to splurge…if for no other reason than to receive a complement from my husband.
Don’t think I can do a pink watch though…
chilly
Ali does not like to be cold. He also does not like to be hot. So you can imagine how keeping Ali at exactly the right temperature can be a full-time job.
At home Ali’s temperature control is not too much of a problem because we live in balmy California. Plus, when Ali’s weather related issues get on my nerves I am fortunate enough to be able to hop in my car and escape easily.
Clockwise: Dinner at Masala Zone, Dinner at Buddha Bar, Tea at Harrods, Dinner at Giraffe
But managing Ali’s temperature on vacation can be…exhausting. Especially when we’re together 24/7. In chilly London. In December.
The first thing on our agenda here in London was not to have afternoon tea at Fortnum & Mason. Nor was it to take a walk by the Thames or to eat a samosa at Masala Zone.
Instead we spent our first few hours hunting down the perfect jacket for Ali. With a hood and “Lots of pockets for my hat, gloves, and phone. Especially in the front.”
Lunch at Carluccio’s
Once that thankless task was over I was hoping to enjoy a cup of English Breakfast. Instead I found myself at Westfield assisting in the purchase of a super attractive pair of ear-warmers.
Which don’t make Ali look ridiculous at all.
Next we stopped at every shoe store in London until we procured the most perfect weatherproof, sheepskin lined boots. Appropriate for the London rain. Or our next foray into the icy wilderness of Antarctica.
A Louboutin Christmas Tree, The London Eye, Harrods, St. James Park
In any case, now that we’re fully prepared for London’s weather we’re headed to even colder New York. And really, I’m just terrified.
And the question remains…why does everyone think I’m the high-maintenance one in this relationship?
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 