I Watch Reality TV
After working in the television industry for many years now, I have heard laments from more than enough of my colleagues about how reality TV has been the downfall of the entertainment industry. To be fair, they often say this for selfish reasons. The truth is that reality TV is cheaper, easier, and quicker to produce than a sitcom or drama, and thus puts their more creative jobs in jeopardy. Job security aside, I do agree that reality TV is pretty terrible and every year when pilot season comes I am amazed at how someone was able to think up yet another lame idea.
Remember Paradise Hotel? Neither do I.
What about I’m a Celebrity? Um, why would I watch anything that includes these two idiots? Please go away Heidi and Spencer. Please.
Or what about Kid Nation? I am sad to admit that this disaster was during my tenure at CBS. Luckily I was safely ensconced in my office, my eyes glued to an Excel screen. I refuse to take any blame for this show!
On the other side of the coin there actually are some decent reality shows. Initially I had issues with The Biggest Loser. I thought the title was degrading but now that I see how many people the show has inspired I am okay with it. (I still don’t watch it though. I simply can’t get through 2 hours of Jillian Michaels!)
And then there’s Extreme Makeover …I love that they went from making over people to making over homes for deserving families. On a side note I’ve always thought that this Ty moron should be fired, not only for having his picture taken like this but also for getting a DUI:
And then there are shows in the middle of the good and the bad. A while back I was embarrassed to admit I watch America’s Next Top Model but what I am about to admit is much worse. I watch The City. Yes, its true. I hope my colleagues can forgive this terrible transgression. I am a busy person – I work and sometimes I pay attention to my husband and child and I know I shouldn’t have time to watch this ridiculous show. And yet I make time. Why??
I decided to sit down and figure out why I like this obviously scripted “unscripted” reality show.
1. I am in love with New York. If I can’t be there right now then at least I can live vicariously through a few twenty somethings who get paid to basically do nothing except drink and party in NYC.
2. I am in love with the clothes on this show. If only I could get away with dressing in LA like they do on The City. But sadly my entirely male office would laugh at me if I showed up in anything nicer than jeans.
3. I want to be Olivia Palermo. Actually I just want to look like her since she clearly isn’t very smart or nice. Bitchy personality aside I LOVE her style and clothes and her hair.
4. Whitney is just about the nicest person on TV. She makes me want to be a nicer person too. Sad but true.
I suppose these are pretty good reasons to stop feeling guilty about watching this show. My brother says I have a serious problem with my guilt complex in that I feel guilty for everything. He’s right. So I am going to go watch my DVR’d episode from last night and enjoy. Anyone else a fan?
A Good Mood All Around
Well the planets were all aligned today…there is no other explanation for the fact that the entire household was in a good mood. I woke up this morning feeling patient….and calm too. I don’t recall when this last happened. It may have never happened. My brother and Ali can attest to that.
Maya ate breakfast without any complaints. I don’t think that has ever happened either.
Even Baby Doll appeared to be in a cooperative mood. She drank from her bottle with no further demands.
We discovered a banana that was as big as Maya’s head. She ate it with no issue about it being too brown, too big, too ripe or too sweet. It was a miracle.
I didn’t get irritated despite Ali’s subtle hint that I needed to hit the grocery store.
Other shocking events:
I managed to stay in one lane, behind a garbage truck, all the way to work. I didn’t get annoyed that he was in the left lane.
After work I hit Trader Joe’s (to get the sugar of course) and wasn’t bothered by Maya asking me for cookies, chocolate and a new cereal, all in the same sentence. I didn’t get upset that she requested more free stickers despite the fact she has stacks of TJ’s unused stickers. I didn’t mind the long lines and the packed parking lot.
When we got home I gave Maya a bath, made dinner, and cleaned it all up. Maya ate her dinner, complimented it, and then requested more broccoli! Ali ate dinner with less fanfare but no complaints either. I will take what I can get.
I wish I could bottle our good mood…I wish I could bottle this amazing view too…
Ali’s about to put Maya to bed. I just hope the good feelings last around here!
Halfway Through
I was thrilled when I woke up this morning and knew I could go to work! I hopped out of bed at 5:30 with more energy than Maya after a piece of cake. I went to the gym, took a shower, packed Maya’s lunch, cleaned up, made Maya’s breakfast, cleaned up again, made my lunch, cleaned some more, and when I finally settled into the glow of Monday morning, Maya announced she had other plans for the day. “No school today”, she said, “just play.” I humored her for a while.
Despite being a day late and a dollar short we made Thanksgiving turkeys.
She was so enthralled with making belated turkeys that I had to pry her away with false promises. I knew she’d forget that I told her we’d finish the project after school. Just like she forgot when I told her she could eat a piece of Halloween candy every day after dinner. The Halloween candy has since been consumed by the guys at my office. Yes, I’ve lost count of how many ways I am a horrible mother.
Work was crazy because I was off all last week. But the day flew by. I love it when Mondays fly by. I wish the next 7 days would fly by too. Today marks my 7/14 days of the Fat Flush Plan. I’m noticing that I have a slight obsession with fractions.
The last week has been hard. Really hard. I’ve eaten tons of vegetables, fruit, fish and eggs, and thats it. What do I miss the most? Bread and butter. And Trader Joe’s chocolate. I haven’t had chocolate in 7 days which is a new record for me. I must admit I am quite proud of that because I didn’t think I could do it. I also wasn’t supposed to have salt on anything but I was feeling too dizzy to keep that one in check. I hope Ann Louise Gittleman can forgive me. Ann, I swear I’ve followed your plan to a T otherwise.
Sorry I have to go – Ali just stormed out of the kitchen to inform me we are in a “red alert” stage because we are “dangerously low on sugar.” I better rush to Trader Joe’s, even though its 8 pm and I am in my pajamas, because if we are in a “red alert” things could get scary if sugar isn’t produced in time for his morning cup of tea.
Not. Going. To. Happen.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
