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You Know…

February 11, 2010

You know it’s almost February 14th when you spend an hour supervising your 4-year-old as she signs her Valentine’s Day cards:

And after signing Valentine #25 her “N” is still a sideways “S.”

You know you are on your way to becoming a computer nerd like your dad when he buys you a hat like this:

And you wear it with pride.

You know that you have cabin fever when you go for a walk:

Despite the impending rain and 40 degree temperatures.

You know that there is no hope for this country when you buy a package of  T-shirts:

And it comes with a disclaimer like this:

You know it’s winter when Maya’s school has it’s annual Snow Day:

And she tells you she would like to be referred to as “Snow Girl” going forward.

You know you’ve sunk to a new low when you boil zucchini, top it with marinara and flaxseed oil:

And proclaim it an acceptable substitute for the spaghetti dinner you just cooked your family.

You know your dad rocks when he comes back from India bearing a bunch of new scarves:

And you love them all.  And him too, even if you don’t tell him often enough.

Finding Confidence

February 10, 2010

Despite spending nearly a decade in entertainment finance I came to the realization late last year that it might not be my true calling.  Don’t get me wrong…I don’t regret the choices I’ve made so far because I have learned quite a bit about the industry, I’ve met great people, and I’ve been able to build up my resume.  But the thing is that while I am a numbers person and I love spending hours on an Excel worksheet, I’ve come to the surprising realization that I enjoy something else a whole lot more…writing.  Who would have thought?

I haven’t mentioned this to many people, but I have made several attempts at writing a book.  Two years ago I wrote a 250+ page book but tossed it after I decided it was pretty terrible.  I immediately started another book, and while I was much happier the second time around, I stalled after 150 pages.  Why?  I think I was just too unsure of my writing abilities to move forward and I didn’t believe in myself enough to think people would want to read what I wrote.  No confidence = writer’s block.  I knew that I would never be successful until I gained more confidence in my writing abilities.  The question was how?

So I started this blog.  I figured if my writing was good enough than people would visit and comment.  And they did. Here I am months later with unexpectedly good traffic, great comments, new friends, and much more confidence.  No I haven’t made a single penny from this blog, but the fact that I get emails from people who say they love my honesty, my sarcasm, and my blog?  They really make my day.

I now feel just a bit more qualified to say that my long-term goal is to write a book and have it published.  I am realistic though, and I know that writing can often be a long, difficult road.  That’s why I jumped at the chance to interview Lisa Heidke, author of What Kate Did Next.  I had the opportunity to review her book and was pleased to find out her thoughts on being a writer, the hardships she’s encountered, and her advice to those of us who want to be writers.

I hope you find her answers as helpful as I did. 

An Interview with Lisa Heidke, author of What Kate Did Next

What Kate Did Next addresses the very relatable topic of juggling motherhood and a career.  I know you are a mother and clearly successful as an author but when you signed my copy you mentioned this book is not an autobiography.  Where do you get your ideas from? Does anything/anyone in particular inspire you?

My inspirations for storylines come from everyday conversations with friends, stories I see on the news and read in newspapers and magazines. I write contemporary fiction so my novels usually reference to pop culture and what’s going on in the wider community/world. 

Marian Keyes is one of my favourite authors. When I read Watermelon, her first book, I thought it was fabulous and laugh out loud funny. I was interested to find out more about her life. Then when I read how difficult Keyes journey had been, I felt even more inspired and encouraged to write.

How did you start your writing career?

I wrote for magazines for many years and when I left to have my third child, I decided it was ‘now or never’ about trying to write a novel. I’d been talking for years about writing a book so I sat down at the computer when Mia, now nine, was a month old and started writing. I’d read several ‘how to’ books and decided I could write a Mills & Boon sweet romance. It was as simple as that!

Three months later I had written a 60,000 word sweet romance. The next week when I re-read it, I cried. It was dreadful. I kicked the cat, sulked and refused to wash my hair. But after my temper tantrum I decided that although I wanted to write a novel, I didn’t want to write a M & B. (Mainly because I couldn’t. Hats off to all my M & B friends because they are very hard to write well!)

Many bloggers aspire to publish something.  Do you have any advice for them?

I would encourage anyone who wants to be published whether it’s a novel, short story, poetry or memoir, to go for it but to also keep in mind that it’s a long, hard road. You have to have a real desire and passion to write and keep writing no matter how many rejections you get. Persistence and patience – you need both of these in abundance.

Ask yourself the question, am I writing because I love creating interesting characters and stories or am I writing because I want to get published? If it’s the latter, you may lose your enthusiasm after the first ten rejections.

I’d also advise would-be writers not to write solely for money because unless they’re Stephanie Meyer or James Patterson, it’ll be many years before they break even.

What are some of the common mistakes aspiring writers make?

A common early mistake and certainly one I made, was thinking that my manuscript was good enough to send to publishers after only a couple of drafts. Usually you only get one chance to pitch your manuscript – so make sure it’s the absolute best you have to offer. Write the first draft and then stick it in a cupboard for three months. Absolute torture, I know. But after three months, you’ll have gained much need perspective and distance and be able to read your manuscript with fresh and objective eyes.

Rather than give your manuscript to friends and family who may gush over the fact you’ve written 85,000 words but not honestly tell you what they think of your writing and the story you’ve laboured over for six months, pay a free-lance editor to offer constructive criticism and advice on where to take your manuscript from here.

The other mistake I made was trying to write a story I thought would appeal to publishers, aka the Mills & Boon disaster. In doing so I squashed my own voice. It was only when I threw away my first manuscript and started writing a story I believed in, that my words flowed naturally. Instead of forcing an artificial writing style, I let my inner and natural writing voice take over.

Do you have any advice on how to handle the writing process and how not to get discouraged by (sometimes constant) rejection?
 

Now that I’m published I could say both books were easy to write but that’s definitely not true. There were too many drafts to count, many tears and many times I wanted to give up. Writing is a solitary pursuit and when no-one is encouraging you or interested in what you’re writing it’s easy to feel despondent.

This was especially true when I sent manuscripts or partials (three chapters and a synopsis) to publishers and received rejection form letters back. I think I’ve been rejected by every mainstream Australian publisher and American ones too. When I look back, I can understand why. I was too eager to send my stories out when they weren’t polished.

After each rejection, I’d stomp around the house and tell myself to give up. ‘Why bother?’ This was especially true when my children would tell their friends and their friend’s parents, I loved my computer more than them. (And that’s not true ninety-six percent of the time.)

But after a day or two of feeling sorry for myself, I’d turn on the computer and either rework a manuscript or start something new. I was determined to keep writing and eventually get published so I kept going, though at times it was incredibly difficult to keep my spirits up.

What do you love about being a writer?

I love that I get to create real but flawed characters who often behave appallingly and say and do things I’d never dare to in real life. I have a lot of fun writing and thinking up plot twists and turns. It’s great seeing a story come together. I start with a blank page and think, ‘how am I going to fill this with 85,000 words?’ I love disappearing into a world of make believe. The possibilities…

What do you find the most challenging about being a writer?

One of the greatest challenges I find is forcing myself to be disciplined, and making myself write every day, even when I feel tired or uninspired and don’t know what to write about.

On the other hand, when I’m having a good day and the words are flowing, I hate having to stop because it’s time to pick the kids up from school. On those days I’ll write myself a few notes so that the next day I can pick up from where I left off.

Generally, I write Monday to Friday during the school term. I don’t get a lot of writing done when the kids are around. After they’ve been packed off to school, I’ll check my emails and float around Facebook for an hour or so before I settle down and start writing.

If I’m working on a new manuscript, I try to write about 2,000 words a day, five days a week to get the story moving ahead. I try not to think about spelling, tenses and grammar. My main objective is to write the story. Of course that changes once the first draft is written and I’m editing and re-writing.

What are some of your favorite books of all time?

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte. l was captivated by the sweeping melodrama and romance, the highs and lows, and Bronte’s intricate weaving  together of secret lives and private passion –  Jane falling in love with Edward Rochester, then running away, and her ultimate reunion and marriage to him. Yes, indeed! Jane Eyre has it all. I’m a huge Bronte fan but Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) are two of my all-time favourites.

I’ve already mentioned Watermelon by Marian Keyes and it’s one of my favourites because I love Keye’s sense of humour, her take on modern life and her first person confessional tone of writing. I think she is a very funny and clever writer. I also admire her ability not to take herself too seriously.

A must read for all writers is definitely Stephen King’s On Writing. When I read this book which is part memoir, part tutorial, on the craft of writing, it all clicked for me. I’ve always loved story writing but King’s book really opened my eyes to the craft. His anecdotes and personal struggles as well as his practical advice on writing have been invaluable to me. At least once a year, I’ll go back and reread On Writing and I always learn something new. Stephen King is an inspiration. 

What are you working on now?  What are you future plans?

Last November, I signed up for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) an international writing competition where the aim was to write 50,000 words of brand new material. I did that and am thinking about developing the manuscript further to see where it takes me. The story is set in suburbia and it’s about the secrets people keep and the lies they tell. I am enjoying the process enormously.

Thank you again Lisa, for taking the time to answer my questions!

Flavor of India

February 9, 2010

Maya has been staying with my in-laws since Sunday and the house has been…quiet.  Honestly, I feel like my left arm is missing.  When she’s around all I want her to do is stop asking me questions.  And then when she’s gone I wonder why nobody is asking me questions?  There were certainly benefits to her sleepover though – I didn’t mind the break from having to provide her with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus snacks every 2 hours.  It was also quite liberating to get through a whole day without having to say, “If you are hungry you can have a fruit or a vegetable.  If you don’t want a fruit or a vegetable than I guess you aren’t hungry enough.”   

Since we rarely have a chance to eat out without Maya, Ali and I decided to hit the town last night.  And on a Monday no less!  I almost can’t get over how daring we are.  After much debate we decided to embrace our new adventurous personalities and we hit up an Indian restaurant we’d never been to – Flavor of India.   

  

Located in West Hollywood, Flavor of India is directly off Santa Monica Blvd. We couldn’t believe how much traffic there was on a Monday night at 7pm…I guess we are the only boring people who consider eating out on a Monday night unusual.  

Despite a nearly empty parking lot there was an attendant ready to collect $5 for valet parking.  Valet parking in Los Angeles is such a scam!  We decided to save ourselves $5 plus the $2 tip by parking on the street and scored a spot less than 1 minute to the front door of the restaurant.   

The restaurant was very dimly lit (in a good way) and was very pretty with lots of little lights. There weren’t too many people when we arrived but by 8pm the place started getting busy. 

  

I was excited to see Idli’s on the menu and we ordered them as an appetizer.  

A steamed cake made with ground rice and lentils, served with sambar (lentil soup) and coconut chutney.

(Sorry for the dark pictures but we’ve already established that I can’t take a picture to save my life.  Enough said.)  

Idli’s are not only gluten-free but delicious too.  They were easily the best thing I ate last night.  

Since we were already $7 ahead we splurged and ordered a second appetizer – The Murgh Ki Chat which I didn’t eat (chicken) and he didn’t comment on.  He didn’t finish it so it is safe to assume he didn’t particularly care for it.  

Tender pieces of boneless chicken tossed with potatoes, three chutneys and chat masala.

We decided to share the Vegetarian Thali:  

Mixed vegetable sabzi and chana masala with dal, rice, raita, kachumber and naan.

The mixed vegetables were good and Ali liked the naan but we really didn’t eat any of the other stuff.  The chana masala was too spicy and the daal was just strange. 

We also ordered the  Tandoori Fish:  

Mildly marinated salmon, served with onion and tomato.

I thought this was pretty good but we didn’t know the fish would be salmon and Ali doesn’t like salmon.  Usually tandoori fish is swordfish or another white fish, so next time we’ll definitely check before ordering this dish.  Ali ate half a piece and went to town on his trusty carbs instead.  

While the service was excellent, overall Flavor of India was disappointing.  Truthfully it is nearly impossible to find a good Indian restaurant in Los Angeles.  We have tried SO many and either they are overpriced or they have average food. Or both.  I’d much rather save my money and hit up my mom’s place for some decent Indian food.  The only problem?  She lives an hour away so I can’t just hop over when an Aloo Gobi craving strikes.  Until she lives closer I remain on the lookout.  Let me know if you live in Los Angeles and have any suggestions.  

Well I’m off to pick up Maya.  In a few hours, when my patience has diminished I will re-read the first paragraph of this post so I can remember how much I missed her.   

On second thought, maybe I should print this post out, photocopy it, and tape it all over the house.  I have a feeling that I will need a few dozen reminders very shortly.