Judging Suri
While judging others is totally wrong, I have faced the fact that it is an inevitable part of life. Although I knew what I was getting into when I decided to open up my life on the internet, I am still fairly amazed at some of the more random conclusions people come to.
MYTH: I must hang out with movie stars all the time since I work in entertainment.
TRUTH: What I really do is hang out with my Excel spreadsheets and computer. Usually, the closest I get to seeing movie stars is on people.com.
MYTH: Since I am thin I probably don’t eat.
TRUTH: Well this is partially true. I don’t eat much, but not because I am trying to lose weight. It’s more because I am both lazy and can find very few things that I am not allergic to.
MYTH: Since I make obnoxious comments about Maya and Ali, I am a terrible mother and wife.
TRUTH: Again, this is partially true. I am a terrible mother and wife but not because of my obnoxious comments on this blog. I am simply lazy, selfish, and neglectful.
Obviously nobody should be judged based on what a situation appears to be because more often than not the reality is completely different. Unfortunately, as much as I’d like to deny it, I am also guilty of making snap judgments. Sometimes when I’m wearing my glasses and sweats and I feel particularly hideous, I might think that a pretty girl in skinny jeans walking down the street probably doesn’t eat, is not friendly, and has had surgery. On another occasion when I look halfway decent? I’d probably admire her purse and say hi.
I don’t need a psychiatrist to tell me that my judgments are simply a reflection of what I think of myself, because this is clearly the situation. Obviously, if I could improve the way I see myself than I probably wouldn’t need to pick on a girl who is likely as nice as she is pretty. My appearance that day shouldn’t play into things at all. So I’ve concluded that in addition to working on my habit of judging others, I need to work on my self-confidence.
In the meantime, while I make a half-hearted attempt to remedy a terrible habit, can I please make one last judgment?
It came to my attention yesterday that little Suri Cruise carries around an $850 Ferragamo, which matches her mother’s larger $2,700 version.
Am I the only person who thinks:
1. This is absurd?
2. Both of these bags are quite hideous?
3. I am a horrible, horrible person for judging a 3-year-old?
Book Review – The G Free Diet
The G Free Diet – A Gluten Free Survival Guide
by Elizabeth Hasselbeck
I believe I have already mentioned (far too many times) how great my life was before I had a child. But have I specifically addressed how, prior to Maya’s arrival, I could eat absolutely anything and not feel even the slightest twinge of a stomach ache? In my pre-Maya days digestive problems belonged to my grandparents and my only familiarity with Tums was their irritating TV commercials.
Oh, the good old days, how I miss them.
I am not proud of my old eating habits. Really, I should have known better than to eat six brownie bites at a time. Or almost half an Entemann’s chocolate cake in one night. Yes, I actually did eat half a cake. I am disgusted when I look back on the gross things I used to eat in mass quantities. But back then my eating habits were never a problem because I had a stomach of steel and a fabulous metabolism.
Enter Maya being born and hitting 30. All within 1 year of each other. Talk about a double whammy.
My stomach started bothering me 2 months after Maya was born and it hasn’t stopped since. I’ll spare you the details but over the last (almost) five years I have gone from eating everything to just a few things that I am sure don’t bother my stomach. I have visited dozens of doctors and I’ve spent a small fortune on co-pays and blood tests, and even an endoscopy. But when test after test came back inconclusive, I finally took measures into my own hands by doing the Fat Flush Plan.
After two weeks of eating nothing but protein, flax, fruit, and vegetables, I felt like a million bucks. Then came the hard part…re-introducing foods to identify my allergies. The day I ate my first piece of bread I not only had a stomach ache but I also felt itchy and achy and had trouble focusing. So I stopped eating bread and after a few days felt great again. Then I ate another piece of bread, felt sick again, stopped eating bread again, and felt great. It was confirmed – I could not tolerate gluten.
I was elated to find the culprit but nervous too. How was I going to live without bread? Was I going to be able to eat out anymore? Was every single meal going to be an exercise in anxiety and planning? Yes, yes, and unfortunately, yes.
I haven’t ingested gluten since November of 2009 and while 90% of my symptoms have cleared up, I still experience stomach aches from time-to-time. The more I read about gluten the more I realize it is hidden in so many unexpected places! So while I’ve been avoiding the obvious things, I realized I needed a comprehensive list of what to avoid and that is exactly what The G Free Diet is.
I’ve seen this book in the bookstore but frankly I never considered purchasing it because, well, Elizabeth Hasselbeck irritates me. Sorry, but it’s the truth. I don’t watch The View, but the things I hear and read about her? They don’t exactly portray her in the best light. She just seems immature and too opinionated and if I’m being honest (and petty) her voice annoys me too. I don’t know why. But I put my feelings aside to read this book and I have to admit that I loved it and finished it in two days.
The G Free Diet is a fast, easy read. It starts off with the author explaining how she diagnosed herself with the help of her stint on Survivor. She goes on to give a thorough description of celiac disease, advises how to avoid gluten at home and in restaurants, and even discusses going gluten-free for weight management and to help the symptoms of autism.
Did you know that some salad dressings and soy sauces have gluten in them? Blue cheese and brown rice syrup? Rice Crispies and french fries? Toothpaste and sunscreen? Makeup and lotion? Me neither. This book is an enlightening source of detailed information on hidden sources of gluten. I especially loved the section on eating out as that is always such a challenge for me. The appendix with a list of gluten-free brands is also very helpful.
Now the negatives of this book: I’m not crazy about the fact that Elizabeth claims you can “sweat out” accidentally ingested gluten. Sorry but to quote Principal Belding, “That is wrong and ridiculous.” I was also kind of surprised to see her marketing a gluten-free lifestyle as a weight management technique. But those are small details in an otherwise excellent book and overall I would recommend this book to anyone struggling with celiac or those who think they might have a gluten-intolerance.
A big thank you to my friend Shahbano for buying me this book for my birthday. She and all of my friends and family are so understanding of my eating habits (maybe not my brother, but I forgive him cause he’s my brother) despite the fact that I probably drive them nuts with my incessant ramblings of what I can and cannot eat. I feel sorry for them having to listen to me, but I especially feel sorry for me. I know going gluten-free is not such a hardship in the grand scheme of things but sometimes I just really want some hot bread and butter!!
I Am Not A Quitter
I have issues leaving things incomplete. Only my mom can say for sure if I’ve always been this anal but as I get older I find myself even more obsessed with making sure everything is fully finished and checked off my list.
Example A: If I plan to run 30 minutes on the treadmill, you better believe that I won’t leave the gym until that machine reads an even 30 minutes. I physically cannot stop, even if I’m nearing death until the timer hits 30. 29.59? Not going to happen unless someone carries me out on a stretcher. And in that event, knowing that I skipped a second of my workout will probably kill me quicker than my injuries will.
Example B: When I decide to organize or clean something (and this happens often) I won’t take a break until the project is completely finished. Maya can attest to this after she helped organize my closet a few weeks ago. (Okay, I’ll admit she took a short, unauthorized break but I made allowances due to her age. When she turns 5 next month? There will be no more excuses for her behavior.)
Example C: A few years ago I had this great idea to channel my inner Christian Siriano by sewing Maya a dress to wear on Thanksgiving. Easier said than done. I was hunched over my mom’s sewing machine for so long that my mom likened conditions in my condo to those of a sweatshop. But I was determined to finish it. And finish it I did:
Don’t worry Christian, I think it’s safe to say that I’m no competition. Although my kid is pretty cute.
Anyway, so we’ve established that I can’t leave things undone. That’s why it pains me to say that I could not finish Say You’re One of Them by Uwem Akpan.
Since some of my favorite books are human interest stories this one seemed right up my alley, and I was thrilled to receive it for Christmas. The book is comprised of five short stories all narrated by children, capturing the horrible and often painful realities of those living and struggling in Africa. I started reading it right after Christmas and so it upsets me to admit that nearly two months later I am only finished with the first story. And I simply cannot go on.
The main problem with this book is the author’s writing style. Talk about confusing! Uwem Akpan, a Jesuit priest from Nigeria utilizes an odd French-English hybrid that I find impossible to follow. The fact that the author has an MFA in creative writing baffles me even further because the dialogue, the characters, and the timing is all very confusing and disjointed. Frankly, I am amazed that this book received such kudos by the reading community. How is this a bestseller? Other than the fact that Oprah put her stamp of approval on it I have no idea.
While I do believe the topic is relevant and important, I don’t understand how the average reader is supposed to make heads or tails of this book. All I know is that I simply can’t.
Per Ali the world will not come crashing down if I leave this book unfinished and for once I listened to his advice. So I am now a quitter. I hear that quitting one thing can result in a domino effect. So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised if I stop finishing other books. Or if I quit making dinner. Or if I refrain from doing laundry.
I bet Ali will live to regret his advice.
Have you ever been excited to read a book but couldn’t get through it?
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
