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Judging Suri

February 18, 2010

While judging others is totally wrong, I have faced the fact that it is an inevitable part of life. Although I knew what I was getting into when I decided to open up my life on the internet, I am still fairly amazed at some of the more random conclusions people come to.

MYTH: I must hang out with movie stars all the time since I work in entertainment.
TRUTH: What I really do is hang out with my Excel spreadsheets and computer. Usually, the closest I get to seeing movie stars is on

MYTH: Since I am thin I probably don’t eat.
TRUTH: Well this is partially true. I don’t eat much, but not because I am trying to lose weight. It’s more because I am both lazy and can find very few things that I am not allergic to.

MYTH: Since I make obnoxious comments about Maya and Ali, I am a terrible mother and wife.
TRUTH: Again, this is partially true. I am a terrible mother and wife but not because of my obnoxious comments on this blog. I am simply lazy, selfish, and neglectful.

Obviously nobody should be judged based on what a situation appears to be because more often than not the reality is completely different. Unfortunately, as much as I’d like to deny it, I am also guilty of making snap judgments. Sometimes when I’m wearing my glasses and sweats and I feel particularly hideous, I might think that a pretty girl in skinny jeans walking down the street probably doesn’t eat, is not friendly, and has had surgery. On another occasion when I look halfway decent? I’d probably admire her purse and say hi.

I don’t need a psychiatrist to tell me that my judgments are simply a reflection of what I think of myself, because this is clearly the situation.  Obviously, if I could improve the way I see myself than I probably wouldn’t need to pick on a girl who is likely as nice as she is pretty.  My appearance that day shouldn’t play into things at all.  So I’ve concluded that in addition to working on my habit of judging others, I need to work on my self-confidence. 

In the meantime, while I make a half-hearted attempt to remedy a terrible habit, can I please make one last judgment?

It came to my attention yesterday that little Suri Cruise carries around an $850 Ferragamo, which matches her mother’s larger $2,700 version.

Am I the only person who thinks:

1. This is absurd?
2. Both of these bags are quite hideous?
3. I am a horrible, horrible person for judging a 3-year-old?

48 Comments leave one →
  1. February 18, 2010 9:58 pm

    Suri and the bag…yes, absurd. It just sends the WRONG message and I am all for m LV and Chanel bags, but not when I was 3.

    Judgments. Sometimes I admit to myself that there is a place where judgment and common sense and the natural deduction process overlap. So I am not judging, I am using common deductive reasoning skills 🙂

  2. February 18, 2010 10:14 pm

    It’s the parents who dress their kids so the absurdity judgement goes to the parents. In the poshy Stanford Shopping Ctr there were 10 y/o’s walking around with their LV’s and it made me wonder – what the ……? I reckon it’s about purchasing power and values people hold. Someday my daughter will ask for something I cannot afford to get for myself because her friends have it – that’s scary to think right now.

  3. February 18, 2010 11:22 pm

    Well my beautiful friend I have been known to judge out loud in the past very often….I realized it was my reflections of myself….so now I still here it in my head everyday 😉 At least no one else does anymore! This is something I am working on…..

    That Bag – Not my style. Cant say I wouldn’t buy my little one a bag when I am that rich as well….haha!


  4. February 19, 2010 2:39 am

    Ameenaaaa! FIRST OF ALL: You are deffffffinitely not a terrible mother and wife! I don’t know you IRL but that’s the JUDGEMENT I make from reading your blog 😉

    It’s definitely true that the judgements I make about the people around me are more a reflection on myself than a true statement about that person – I mean, seriously, what do I know about the people I see on the subway every day? Haha.

    But yeahhh – Suri & the bag, just wrong, to me, but I guess for TomKat, $850 is nooo big deal! I’ve grown up in/near affluent areas all my life and I just think there are some ways to teach a child fiscal responsibility and handing an infant an Louis Vuitton bag isn’t one of them. I used to work as a personal assistant to a film producer, and she flat-out refused to buy her ten year old daughter designer clothes, despite the fact that all of her Upper East Side friends were buying their kids designer clothes. She thought it wasn’t appropriate, and I tend to agree. I mean, the woman does have a Gucci dining room set (among many, many other things) but she worked her whole life to get them!

    Annnd I secretly kind of love that bag? I have such mixed feelings about Katie Holmes lol.

  5. February 19, 2010 3:43 am

    I agree that you are a great mama. We all make comments about kids draining us (because its true) but your love still shines through. That should be part of your self confidence without a doubt! But I totally relate to how its easier to judge others when you aren’t feeling your best. I’ve done the same thing with others’ physical appearance. It’s easier to get nasty about others when you feel nasty about yourself. I know I’ve had to work on it before…and even now too.

  6. February 19, 2010 4:45 am

    Do NOT get me started on Suri Cruise (or her parents)!!! Seriously. 🙂

    I’m bad about judging others too, and, as you said, it almost always has to do more with my own insecurities than with an actual judgement on them. I’ve gotten better, but it’s hard, especially on days when I’m feeling down on myself.

    I think you seem like an EXCELLENT mother and wife, and it’s refreshing that you don’t sugarcoat things like raising a child or marriage.

  7. February 19, 2010 4:55 am

    I completely agree with you on the Suri thing. First off, those bags are not attractive… second, no child should have a bag that costs $850… its ridiculous.

    We are all guilty of judging. I try not to, but it happens… The best thing I can do is to keep those judgements to myself.

    By the way… you are an amazing mother 🙂

  8. February 19, 2010 5:10 am

    The thought never crossed my mind that you were a bad mother or wife. I know you adore and love your family by the way you talk about them.
    Yes, it is absurd for a 3 yr. old to own anything that much.

  9. February 19, 2010 5:48 am

    It is crazy. The $3550 they spent on those bags could feed half of africa…
    I don’t think you are judging the 3 years.. as she doesn’t have the money or really understands that here purse is 850 whoooping dollars? you are judging her parents… and I am ok with it. 😉

  10. February 19, 2010 5:50 am

    it’s cute they have matching purses??

  11. February 19, 2010 5:57 am

    If Tom and Katie want to spend thousands on a pair of matching bags made from fabric left-over from the costume department of a 1970s B-rated sci-fi flick, all power to them. At 3 years old, Suri can’t tell the difference between Gucci and Walmart. She probably doesn’t care. She just carries the blindingly shiny thing Mommy gave her. If she turns 13 and starts clubbing in designer mini-dresses, then I’ll judge.

  12. February 19, 2010 5:59 am

    I haven’t been reading long but I don’t think you are a horrible wife and mother.

    I think the surri thing is just absurd.

  13. February 19, 2010 6:00 am

    I agree that it is absurd and the bag is not particularly attractive, but I don’t think you are judging Suri as much as Tom and Katie. Kids are spoiled only because their parents spoil them, especially at that age.

    I am completely the same when it comes to making judgements. I like the way you phrased it “my judgments are simply a reflection of what I think of myself”. I do the same thing and I couldn’t have put it better myself.

  14. February 19, 2010 6:10 am

    I agree that it’s absurd that a 3-year-old carry such a bag! I also think that really it’s her parents who you are judging — who buys such a thing for their child? Actually, I don’t think I could even buy one for myself!
    I really think you are a wonderful wife and mother! You are always thinking of fun activities to do with Maya, and didn’t you make breakfast in bed for Ali? Fear not, you are fabulous!

  15. fitandfortysomething permalink
    February 19, 2010 6:13 am

    It is absurd and it is not my style either.

    I agree that how you feel about yourself reflects on your impressions of others.

    Great post!

  16. February 19, 2010 6:18 am

    First, I am SURE that you are an awesome mother and wife. No one is perfect!!

    Second, that is incredibly ridiculous. What does a 3 year old need with an $850 bag… I mean, really? Do you have nothing else better to do with your money?!

  17. February 19, 2010 6:51 am

    An awful mother and wife? If you wouldn’t have mentioned it, the thought would have never crossed my mind. I think you’re a genuinely wonderful person, Ameena.

    I find I’m a lot more judgmental and critical on days where I feel bad about myself… it’s just a horrible way to try and make ourselves feel better. But instead of putting others down, we should work on bringing our self-image up.

    The Suri thing is ridiculous, especially because both bags are ugly. But then again, since when did celebrities do anything normal and with good taste?

  18. February 19, 2010 7:18 am

    You are right everyone judges and it is an “inevitable part of life”. Our judgments definitely reflect how we feel about ourselves. When I am feeling down and things aren’t going well, I am quick make judgments on other’s happiness. Though we may not mean/want to judge others, I think its a mechanism that makes us feel better.

  19. Danielle permalink
    February 19, 2010 7:23 am

    Haha that IS absurd. I feel like there’s plenty of ways celebrities can use their money for good.

    I think anyone who claims they never judge a person would be lying. It’s sort of in our nature. But I have a hard time believing you’re a terrible mother/wife!!

  20. February 19, 2010 7:38 am

    You seem to know yourself pretty well, and the fact that you’re willing to admit your flaws and laugh about them just shows that you’re real. 🙂

    Suri cracks me up- the other week, I saw a pic of her in Sephora, picking out lip gloss. Since when do 3 year olds know what Sephora is, let alone pick out their own lip gloss? She’s too cute for words, but there’s just no way that she’s going to end up normal. 🙂

  21. February 19, 2010 7:43 am

    p.s. I forgot to comment on the fact that you being a “terrible wife and mother” is not the TRUTH. We’re all a little selfish, and just b/c you’re busy juggling a bunch of things, that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad mother OR wife. I think that Ali is quite lucky to have such a pretty, intelligent & witty wife!

  22. February 19, 2010 7:57 am

    Guilty. I do the same thing and I’m equally as ashamed. I do a lot of celebrity judging with is, of course, my jealousy over the fact that they can afford to buy a $850 purse–never mind for their 3-year-old. Sigh.

    I don’t think you’re a bad mom or wife, either. It’s funnier to air your grievances online than to brag. At least in my opinion.

  23. February 19, 2010 8:09 am

    Ferragamo = Fair game!

  24. February 19, 2010 8:50 am

    oh yeah the $850 bag is absurd…jeez im jealous, i’m 32 and i don’t think i can afford a bag with that price ever in my lifetime, hahaha!

  25. February 19, 2010 9:48 am

    Oh, I am such a judgmental person, and, like you, I’m aware that it’s a reflection of how I critical I am with myself, etc, etc. That said, I’ve never had any judgments about you. Not sure what that means. I find it annoying that people would have those thoughts about you being a bad mother/wife. I love your humor and your honesty. Anyway, I try to direct my judging at celebrities since I don’t know them. I frequent for this purpose. Not sure if this is healthy or not. Ha.

  26. raya permalink
    February 19, 2010 10:30 am

    Definitely agree that any 3 year old with an expensive bag = absurd.

    But I did read on a site I saw that photo on that Ferragamo actually sent the Cruises those bags, for free… so at least Tom and Katie didn’t actually consciously dish out 850 for that little unworth-looking bag.

    But the same site said Suri’s wardrobe is estimated to be worth $2.5 million or something.. soooo……

    • February 19, 2010 11:26 am

      Hi – My husband actually pointed out that they possibly received these bags for free…of course I am so wrapped up in judging that it wouldn’t have occurred to me. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it!

  27. lowandbhold permalink
    February 19, 2010 11:05 am

    I try really hard not to be judgemental and kind of pride myself on my success. But we definitely all judge in some way or another.

    And there’s NO WAY you’re a terrible wife or mother.

  28. February 19, 2010 11:09 am

    The bags are remarkably ugly, so no 🙂

    And anyone who can examine her own foibles with such honesty has a gold star in my book!

  29. February 19, 2010 1:12 pm

    You write a lovely blog, and I enjoy it. I think the best we can do for ourselves and for others is to be conscious of our judging. Not to kick ourselves for it, but just to realize it’s happening. That can help us to maybe realize that our judgments are just thoughts, not facts.

    A negative judgment I make about someone today might be contradicted by something nice they do tomorrow.

  30. February 19, 2010 1:37 pm

    You are NOT a terrible mother OR wife! Every time you talk about Ali and Maya, I can tell how much love you have for them.

    And um… yeah, that’s pretty silly.

    Have a great weekend, Ameena!

  31. February 19, 2010 1:43 pm

    oh my god, i love this post….you are so freaking clever!

    love the myths and facts…u are so real ameena.

    and yes, suri ticks me off…sorry but high-heels that cost a 1000 cucks….can someone please buy me some gas for my car 😦

  32. February 19, 2010 2:00 pm

    I wish everyone had this much insight… about Suri.

    Just kidding! I mean about being judgmental. You know, there are stereotypes, and then there is instinct… I think it is mostly stereotypes, but sometimes when you get a bad vibe from a person, they really are bad.

  33. February 19, 2010 2:18 pm

    Happy Friday Ameena.

    (sneaking in for a second)

    I think her parents must have an obscene amount of free cash. I am jealous! I would love a small bag that cost over 25 bucks! haha

    You’re awesome! I love your sarcasm and your honesty….but I still think you rock!

    I dress JJ in the same colored shirts as me! Some people think I am a dork!


    he rolls his eyes like me too. but that stuff is free!


  34. February 19, 2010 2:48 pm

    Suri and her mommy make me want to throw up. Yes, both bags are ugly.

    I love how honest you are, but I am quite certain you are not a bad wife or mother. I think it’s quite the opposite!! 🙂

    Have a lovely weekend, Ameena! 🙂

  35. February 19, 2010 2:50 pm

    I really enjoy your blatant honesty. Who else admits to being lazy and selfish to everyone on the WWW?

    Probably not a lot of us – even though it is true at times for everyone!

  36. whydeprive permalink
    February 19, 2010 3:02 pm

    I dont like how they dress poor Suri. Does a 3 year old really need to be wearing high heels all the time?

    Also, if people who read your blog judge you, then they arent reading very carefully. The comments you make about Ali and Maya arent obnoxious either. I think its pretty clear they’re said with love.
    I LOVE that your blog is so honest. Its refreshing.

  37. February 19, 2010 5:25 pm

    I think that when you are a celebrity, your concept of money changes. It has to. Because that purse could feed a village in Africa. Every time I see shit like that, I think of all the hungry people it could feed. Why don’t celebrities think like that? Because they already gave like a million dollars to a million different charities. The concept of money changes.

  38. February 19, 2010 6:07 pm

    i’m such a judgmental person sometimes it scares me! but i think i’ve toned it down a lot and i credit blogging for that (is that weird?) whatever. that being said….wtf suri. that purse is ugly in midget size or otherwise, and what a waste of $!

  39. traynharder23 permalink
    February 19, 2010 6:27 pm

    OMG ! are you serious! it’s so weird, my skin isn’t that great now, but i think it might have to do with nuts and peanuts! i’m going to keep on not eating nuts/peanut butter and see what happens!

    banh mi- vietnamese sandwich. =D
    bahah no no don’t subject your skin to the breakout if you eat peanut butter! =D

  40. February 19, 2010 6:42 pm

    They didn’t have the pink Coach bracelet when I went back to the store! I was completely bummed out! I wish I was Suri she has an awesome wardrobe, jewelry, purse and shoe collection.

    • February 19, 2010 8:19 pm

      Suri has the best life and she is set up forever!!

      Sorry about the Coach bracelet…fyi I tried to leave a comment on your blog but when I clicked on the comments section the window froze. Tried again and it froze again??

  41. Kyle permalink
    February 19, 2010 10:05 pm

    FUNNY. Just wanted to let you know your posts make my day :)! and YES those bags ARE hideous!!!

    • February 20, 2010 9:33 am

      Thank you Kyle for your nice comment…reading this literally just made my day!!

      Have a great Saturday!


  42. February 20, 2010 9:40 am

    Oh, I judge myself ALL the time, especially about being a bad wife, daughter, teacher… It’s tons of fun.
    Living in LA and just in this country, I think we are inundated with images like this. As much as I love flipping through my USWeekly (total guilty pleasure), I also find it really revolting how much people’s bags and shoes cost. The fact that these Hollywood celebutants spend so much on their children takes it to an all new level.

  43. Erika permalink
    February 21, 2010 8:59 pm

    Being taught to be materialistic comes early for some doesn’t it?

  44. nadia khan permalink
    February 24, 2010 10:36 pm

    oh my, ameena, can i say i’m your biggest fan? these comments are priceless and so is your blog…can’t get over it:)


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