Picasso’s Work
After a 36 hour hiatus my shadow returned, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I have to say that I was quite pleased to have her back! Until we had some words about the fact that she decided to draw pictures…on the balcony…in crayon.
It appears Maya can't even draw stick figures...much like her mother.
I noticed this wonderful fresco a while back but kept forgetting to address it, and since I was hell-bent on ruining our happy reunion I decided what better time than today?
“Maya, why did you draw on the balcony in crayon?”
“I couldn’t find the chalk.” How can I argue with logic like that?
“Well now it won’t come off, so what do you suggest that I do?”
“I don’t know.”
So I did what any other sane mother would do…I handed Picasso toxic chemicals and made her step out unattended on the balcony so she could scrub the floor on her hands and knees.
I won't let her watch more than 1/2 hour of TV a day but I am okay with her using chemicals on the balcony of a high-rise. My own logic astounds me.
Naturally the entire episode was an exercise in futility because I know that nothing short of turpentine is going to get that crayon out. (Does turpentine get crayon out?) Still, I am my father’s daughter and a point needed to be proven, safety be damned.
“It won’t come out Mama.”
“So what do you suggest I do now Maya?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well neither do I.”
Story of my life. Anybody out there know how to get crayon off tile?
And she’s off…
I am excited to report that I accomplished more by 12:30pm today than I did in the past 2 weeks. I managed to:
- Form a complete thought.
- Clean up Maya’s room and the kitchen.
- Do a yogadownload.com class and take a 3 mile walk to pick up Ali’s dry cleaning. (Not impressed? What about if I say I read a book while walking 3 miles to pick up Ali’s dry cleaning? Am I multitasker or what?)
- Make an enormous amount of headway on 9 separate marketing balances for work.
- Memorize my Toastmaster’s speech for tomorrow.
- Form another complete thought, and believe me when I say it had nothing to do with what Maya could eat as a snack next.
Are you wondering how this was all possible with my little shadow lurking about? It isn’t.
Yes, you guessed it, I sent Maya and her little Dora backpack off to my mother-in-law’s house. I felt guilty for about half a minute but then I realized she wasn’t exactly shedding a tear over it. If anything, the relief that registered on her face when she realized she was shipping out was even more impressive than mine.
I also realized that between our DC trip last week and Maya’s school hiatus this week, the two of us have spent more time together lately than we have in the last 5 years. I believe I have redeemed myself enough to merit a break from entertaining her.
Speaking of entertaining, Maya and I were lucky enough to have Lynn join us for lunch yesterday. This is the fourth time I’ve had the opportunity to meet up with Lynn and I once again feel like I’ve known her forever. But as is always the case when Maya is around, I was distracted and completely forgot to take pictures of lunch. I did manage to get one good photo right before Lynn left though:
Please ignore the nearly dead plant in the background. My green thumb and I? Well...we struggle. Trees, kids...it seems to make no difference.
Luckily Lynn is far more organized than me and not only took fabulous pictures of the afternoon but she also put them up on her blog yesterday. You can check them out here.
Thank you Lynn for bringing us gluten-free chocolate chip cookies and more importantly, thank you for helping me keep Maya busy… don’t be surprised if she shows up at your door next week, Dora backpack in hand!
Want to know the weird thing? Maya’s been gone all day and it’s been great, but now that it’s bath/story time the house seems empty and I have no idea what to do with myself??
Living Room Golf
By 8:30 am yesterday Maya and I had already read 3 books, we finished her math “homework,” we Methoded the kitchen, and we both prayed for it to magically be August 2nd when summer camp starts.
I also answered the following questions:
- Why does my frog shirt reflect in the window?
- How come Dad gets to have tea and sugar every morning but I don’t?
- Can I watch TV 2 times today?
- Can I have a cookie? (Against my better judgment I will share my answer to this one with you, “Frickin’ A Maya, it is 8:30 in the morning!”) Sorry, it just slipped out.
- Mama, what am I supposed to do now?
At 8:35 am I asked Maya to please give me 5 minutes of peace and quiet so I could close my eyes and count backwards from 1,000.
At 8:36 am Maya was playing golf in the living room.
Do you see the scuff marks? I see the scuff marks.
Now normally I’d tell her to stop before she ruins the wood floor but yesterday I was so desperate for a break that I didn’t care if the floor had craters in it by the time she was done channeling her inner Jack Nicklaus.
At 8:39 am conversation resumed.
“I’m playing golf with my invisible friends, Mama.”
“That sounds like fun Maya. Why are they invisible?”
“Well we don’t want to bother you while you are doing your work so it’s better if they are invisible and quiet.”
Even my heart of stone couldn’t withstand that sad little comment. So at 8:38 am I shut my computer down and tried to appease both Maya and my conscience by taking her to the park for 2 hours, and then by making popsicles with her.
Nothing speaks to her like food.
I've resigned myself to a perpetually messy kitchen for the duration of Maya's summer vacation.
Appease Your Conscience Popsicles
1 peach
1/4 cup of raspberries
1 small banana
1 cup of whole milk
Add everything to a blender, mix on a high-speed, and pour into one of the cheap $4.99 popsicle molds that abound at Target.
Not sure how long I can trick her for...she is getting too smart for her own good.
I almost feel guilty when Maya asks me if she can have a popsicle for dessert and I pretend to think about it. But what I really feel guilty about is that I am already trying to figure out who I can pawn her off on tomorrow so I can actually get through a few work-related emails before I have to troubleshoot the blue screen of death on her Leap Frog again.
Seriously, how on earth do stay-at-home-moms do this every single day?
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 