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celery stalks on the floor

May 31, 2017

Last Night @ 9:00 pm: My husband went to the freezer, removed a Trader Joe’s molten lava cake, popped it into the microwave, removed it from the microwave, settled himself on the sofa, and devoured 370 calories and 25 grams of sugar (I checked the back of the box) in about 90 seconds.

Last Night @ 9:20 pm: My husband went to the fridge, removed three stalks of Trader Joe’s organic celery, settled himself on the sofa, and devoured 5 calories and 0 grams of sugar (an estimate).

This Morning @ 3:15 am: I walked into the kitchen, noticed a wayward celery stalk on the floor near the trash can, became anxious that it may have attracted cockroaches, imagined an overnight cockroach feeding frenzy (I FEAR cockroaches and like to imagine worst case scenarios at all times), and then by sheer will decided not to pick it up, just to see if Ali or Maya would.

This Morning @ 6:38 am: Maya walked into the kitchen, stepped over the celery stalk, poured herself an enormous bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (I’ll let you guess who facilitated the purchase of this healthy breakfast choice), stepped back over the celery stalk and proceeded to the dining table.

This Morning @ 7:02 am: Ali walked into the kitchen, stepped over the celery stalk, made himself tea and a giant bowl of oatmeal with raspberries, flaxseed, and approximately 8 tablespoons of brown sugar, stepped back over the celery stalk and proceeded to the dining table.

This Morning @ 7:55 am: Ali and Maya left for school, celery stalk still on the floor.

This Morning @ 8:02 am: I wondered why I was surprised Ali and Maya didn’t notice the giant green vegetable on the floor, threw the celery stalk in the trash, and left for work.

This Morning @ 8:03 am: I concluded that I live with two lazy, bug-welcoming, sugar-obsessed, potentially nearsighted individuals, who care little about having a clean kitchen, me, or really anything but themselves.

On the plus side I didn’t have to drop Maya to school. So victory?

 

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. May 31, 2017 1:43 pm

    I think my sister (also roommate) should live with them and you and I can be roommates and everyone will be happy. Also, this is annoying, but at least it wasn’t smeared cake lava on the floor? (See my reaching attempt to find a bright side?)

    • June 1, 2017 5:05 am

      I draw the line at cake on the floor. I think I’d seriously need to be committed if I saw that!!

  2. hcoving permalink
    May 31, 2017 6:09 pm

    If it makes you feel better my family would have ignored that celery too. I was laughing about Ali’s oatmeal because my husband does the same thing. Healthy oatmeal, fresh fruit and about a half gallon of honey.

    • June 1, 2017 4:53 am

      Sort of defeats the purpose…but somehow they don’t see it? Might as well eat a Snickers….

  3. Ngitanjali permalink
    June 1, 2017 4:32 pm

    Yay, another blog post :). This is too funny, and while Ali might never change, maybe there’s still hope for Maya? At some point she’d have to notice the celery stick, right??

    • June 1, 2017 8:14 pm

      She’s her father’s daughter so I’m going to say …. No. 😊

  4. June 8, 2017 12:22 am

    I’m giggling, but also imaging you moving the celery stalk to their pillows to see if they’d notice 😉

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