a sunday night wedding
Imagine this: you and your husband are invited to a wedding.
Despite the fact that the card delineates that the wedding is on a Sunday night at 7:30 pm, boxed gifts are not welcome, and the venue is at least an hour away, you send in your affirmative RSVP.
You secure an overpriced and underqualified babysitter. You get into a very scratchy Indian outfit. You make an admirable attempt with your makeup knowing full well that you’re risking an eye infection and/or a striking resemblance to a clown.
You battle the LA traffic and get to the event at a respectable 8:00 pm. You follow the signs to the banquet rooms. You find the appropriate one and do a double take because:
- There is nobody there to greet you – not even a member of the wedding party.
- There are no appetizers, there are no drinks.
- There is nowhere to sit because the absent wedding party apparently demanded the banquet hall sealed shut before they went MIA.
As the hours tick by you feel your blood pressure rising. How can a Sunday night wedding not start at a respectable hour? What have these people been doing all day long? Do they not have to go to work in the morning?
I have no picture from the wedding I ditched so how about a photo from a wedding that was on time in every way instead?
By 9:30 pm you’re starving and consequently even bitchier than usual. And that’s bitchy.
At 10:00 pm you’ve still eaten nothing, neither the bride nor the groom has made an appearance, and even your normally calm husband is irritated. So you grow a brain, grab your husband, and depart. And on the way home, as you fluctuate between anger and confusion, you insist you may never attend an Indian/Pakistani wedding on a Sunday night again.
PS: I took my non-boxed gift with me too.
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
I had a day like that yesterday (though no wedding). Yesterday was indeed a total waste of makeup. You try to look good and have a nice time, and at the end of the day, you totally wondered why you bothered.
So glad you took your gift back daaaaahling. They didn’t deserve it. In fact, you should send them a bill for the hours of life lost and suffering incurred 🙂
LOL
*kisses* HH
If I could have billed them, I would. Especially for the babysitter!
I don’t even know where to start. Sunday – wrong. Late – wrong. THAT late – inexcusable! I would have departed with my non-boxed gift too! Hours of your life you will never get back. C’est la vie.
Haha…and Ali thought people would be shocked I took back my gift!
Ameena, I planned my wedding down to the minute (would have done it to the second if I could!) Only for everything to go perfectly to plan BUT half the guests show up late!! Pakistani weddings… There could be an entire BLOG just for ranting about them!
Usually it is the guests who are late but this time it was the wedding party! Not sure which one I detest more.
Haha wow- i know Indians have a reputation for being late but this is ridiculous–> i would have been infuriated! And then throw in the function being on a Sunday – what a nightmare! Going out for dinner on a Sunday night is one thing but being expected to party/stay out late is a recipe for disaster! Were the parents/family of the groom and bride at least apologetic??
No because we never saw them! I’m not kidding when I say that the entire family was MIA.
So shall I be the annoying one that asks … ‘but what was the POSITIVE in all of this?????’
eeeuuuugghhhhhhh
Hmmm….I can’t think of one thing. Not one thing!
From what I know of Indian weddings here in India is that even if the bride and bride groom are not in view atlas the food and drinks are always flowing from the appointed hour… your experience is crazy… i know the feeling of eating all dressed up and then things not working out as planned…
It would have been bearable if there was food involved. But I hear from other guests that dinner wasn’t served until close to midnight!
First and foremost – You two ladies look lovely in that picture.
Secondly I too have had a similar experience, and I felt embarrassed as a guest to turn up to a wedding when the family of both parties never made it, the food was no where to be seen and drinks were unavailable. All we had was a big hall, over packed with people and a DJ who seemed to loose the volume to his music.
That said, I think most Indian / Pakistan Wedding do require allot of organisation, and some times some events or activities do get late, but if a wedding reception simply does not take off the ground from the first moment the doors to the venue open then there is something seriously wrong.
Give you credit for controlling your frustration, not sure if Ali was on the receiving end of it in the end.
I had an Indian/Pakistani wedding and dinner was served at a respectable 8:30 pm. So it can be done…but that requires planning. And lets face it many Indian/Pakistani people aren’t particularly interested in planning things.
ooohhh that is tough luck. Really inconsiderate of the host to do that.
I can’t get past the lack of food. With food, anything would have been ok.
Awww that is one bad thing to happen. You did the right thing by walking out. The photograph is really cute. Loved Maya with the wreath 🙂
Thank you Nishi!
Hmm…the only Indian wedding I’ve been to at least had the buffet going and the drinks flowing for a good time before the wedding party showed. The wedding party didn’t even bother with formalities first and headed straight to the Northern AND Southern Indian food buffet. They made sure to include both. Sorry to hear your reception was not so accommodating. I would’ve taken my gift as well.
Dinner before the bride and groom arrive? That’s what I call the perfect wedding. 🙂
wow….no food would make me ….grumpy 🙂 Glad you took your gift.
wow that sounds crazy!! I would love to go to an Indian wedding in a traditional Indian outfit, but only if it starts on time 😉
No Indian wedding starts on time. Ever. Ever!
I would have lost it in the 2nd hour!
But when you deny me food after you said this is the arrival time and there is no food? I leave. I hate waiting.
Good for you for taking the box too. 🙂
No food = no gift? I think I’m on to something here…
Wait what?! I have so many questions and don’t even know where to begin! I know Indians generally start events at least an hour after the stated time, but this is ridiculous! I would’ve left too…geez!
Ridiculous is right. This even surpassed Indian Standard Time (IST).
Maya looks like an angel, so sweet. Did the wedding even happen? That is the strangest thing ever. And what does ‘boxed gift’ mean, I’ve never heard of it. Putting makeup on is huge, I would have been so mad.
No boxed gifts = they want money. Tacky in my opinion but that’s just me.
And yes, the wedding finally happened but I hear dinner wasn’t until much, much later. Close to midnight!
So, now you have me intrigued, Ameena. Did the wedding ever take place? There’s a story in there and it sounds like a sitcom episode! Love the picture! Ali looks handsome, you and Maya look beautiful!
First off, thank you for the compliment. Secondly, the wedding did take place but it was after we left. And dinner was close to midnight!
1. This is why we bring a flask to every wedding we attend (dark, but true).
2. What were the other guests doing? What sort of horrid corral did they have you all penned-in? My jaw literally dropped when I read this.
3. If you were giving them cash, you should probably funnel that money into the Ameena’s Self-Gifting Fund and use it over Thanksgiving weekend. I’m just saying. Retail Therapy can cure a lot of ills.
Oddly enough it appeared that I was the only one really flustered at the lack of a wedding…maybe others are just used to the craziness? Maybe they don’t have to go anywhere on Monday morning? Who knows?
What? Did they cancel the wedding after the guests had gotten there? What eventually happened? My goodness, this is ridiculous! 21/2 hours of waiting on a Sunday night? Take the non-boxed gift and pamper yourself with it in New York!
No, the wedding went on as planned just a whole lot later than I’d planned to stick around!
That’s rather rude, no seatings and no food nor drinks while guests are waiting? Especially on Sunday night. It’s just bad all around. I’m glad you took the gift with you.
Love the family picture! Have a great weekend.
Thank you Lydia! I hope you have a great weekend as well.
Did the wedding just not happen and they were still able to cancel half the stuff (ie the catering)? Geez… how awful for everyone involved.
The wedding did happen! It just happened a whole lot later than I expected.
Wow, that is insane!
That sounds, well…crazy. Who has a wedding on Sunday night in the first place? And if you’re gonna go with Sunday night, it had better be on time, because everyone else has work/school/a life to run on Monday morning. *shakes her head*
Exactly! A late Friday night wedding I can sort of understand. A late Sunday night wedding? Not so much.
First of all, anyone who invited me to a wedding at 7:30pm on a Sunday in November clearly doesn’t understand the importance of NFL football in my life and therefor would not be considered a good enough friend to make that voyage for.
But that’s just me. The fact you made it past 8:30 is astonishing.
Looking back I’m sort of astonished as well…
First of all, What the heck is a non boxed gift? What were the other guests doing? Were you all just milling about or was everyone else late too? I would have left too. That’s ridiculous.
Non-boxed gift = money! That’s their subtle yet tacky way of asking for money.
Huh. What a pain-in-the-arse wedding (although probably even more painful for the former bride and groom). They should have at least had appetizers and drinks. Without any drinks, I would have just turned high heel and left. You were a good friend to stay as long as you did. What was everyone else doing???
The bride and groom did end up getting married. That’s the strange part. It just happened a whole lot later than I was willing to wait.
This is even worse than an Indian wedding in India. I cannot believe that there was no one from the wedding party two hours after the starting time.
Based on the last few sentences I definitely think opposites attract. I am an irritable person by nature and my husband is a patient saint, it takes a lot to annoy him. Totally random comment, i know 🙂
Not random at all. Ali is 1000 X more patient than me. I don’t know how he does it!
Seriously?! They were that fashionably LATE? I’d be so pissed and cranky as well, especially on Sunday night! Even though it’d be fashionably late, at least someone from the wedding party should be there.
I don’t even think they were trying to delay the wedding for any fashionable reason…they just run late on everything!
What happened??? Was the wedding cancelled? Were there other guests present who were just as confused?? I can’t grasp this, I need more details!
The wedding went on as expected, with dinner close to midnight. So bizarre. I’m still trying to grasp this myself!
You must have found out what happened by now. Did they eventually show up? This is beyond comprehension. And beyond rude!
They did show up. Eventually. Way after I’d already left!
That happened to us too last Sunday! People were in line for appetizers and the RAN OUT.
The bride was our neighbor, so we knew what was going on, and we did stay past 10pm.
They ran out? Oh…how sad for them. How frustrating for the guests!
I say! Revenge well taken 🙂
I do not appreciate when people do not respect my time. I hate it. I am socially so unpopular that I have rarely attended weddings 😀 and even parties. Peace. 😀
Appeal for Irfan
I’m socially unpopular too. Even more so now that I write about these things on my blog. 🙂
my god-some hosts these people would be…and non-box gifts…lol-can they specify that?
the experience-very hopelessly sad
the picture-very sweet and beautiful:-)
last words of prayer:
may noone who knows you get married on a Sunday again:-)
Thank you for the compliment! I believe in your prayer…and will continue to pray for the same thing. 🙂
I feel your pain sistah! been there done that! I hate desi weddings especially the ones on Sundays…wtf
Finally…someone who can relate. Sunday nights should be reserved for TV time and getting ready for the work week. Not for weddings. Especially not late ones!
Oh that’s he** Ameena – I would have been cussing like a banshee! When ever I invite desi people to anything and give them the time, I always say – I mean German Standard time or else they’ll ring a door bell at midnight for a 7.00pm dinner.
I feel your pain!!! Och!!
hugs! Devaki @ weavethousandflavors
German Standard Time…I love it!
That is so rude!! I understand that it is “their” wedding, but part of their duty is to cater to their guests. Yeesh, I can’t stand people who are rude.
You would think they’d want to make their guests happy but apparently not?
!!! is all I can say! may be the bride and the groom eloped to the honeymoon before the wedding? who knows? very curious to know.. were there other guests too? what were they doing? i have never attended an Indian wedding in here (and hope i never have to do esp this kind).. i have heard one of my prof. who happens to be non indian encounter the exact same situation in an indian wedding.. looks like it is the norm or a badly thought of trick.
The other guests were just hanging out without seeming irritated. Not sure why?
Your poor professor…I feel for him!
It’s nuts right! We went to a wedding an hour after the stated time and we were still the first ones there. It was so bad, the guests thought we were the family that was there to welcome them. Needless to say, we made a Starbucks run before coming back to the wedding. Hope you guys got some Starbucks on the way home 🙂
The reason you are a much better person than me is because you hit up Starbucks and went back! I left and didn’t look back. 🙂
Oh my, did you find out why they didn’t let their guests know? I don’t get it. Btw.. you look so pretty in that dress. And I just wanna give maya a biggggg hug, she’s just too darn cute. Your heart must melt when you see her, she’s such a sweet kid.
They ended up getting married…just a whole lot later than I expected.
And thank you for the compliments. Maya is a sweet kid (despite my blogs stating otherwise).
OMG! That is a riot! Ever find out what happened?
They ended up getting married as planned Lindsay, just a whole lot later that night.
OMG,
Your Fam is Gorgeous.
So glad you took the non-boxed gift, too! You deserved it. x
Thank you! Despite my Ali’s shock I’m glad I took it back too…
What a weird evening! You HAVE to let us know when you find out what was up with all of this…like why were they so late? I feel like something went terribly wrong!
They were just late! The ceremony and dinner went on without a hitch, aside from the ridiculous timing of course. Very strange.
I really feel for you, but I have encountered such situation too, not exactly in a wedding. And you know when I lost my mind and asked people that why is it a unspoken norm to start any such event at least an hour or two late, the response I got was essentially (though not said so bluntly) that I am too un-cool and un-fun !!! Oh yes and another thing that makes me extremely un-fun is the fact that I want my child to eat/play/sleep at a particular time within limits of sanity!!!…Well meaning people have been courtious enough to take us out to dinner only to give us a lecture about how we need to loosen up about such stuff like being on time, and trying to keep my child on time and such !!!…Nonetheless I have learnt my lessons and moved on :-)…You did an awesome job Ameena, and all three of you look great, especially the little princess…
That’s the crazy thing! People think I’m un-cool and un-fun for wanting things to be on time. Drives me bananas. I just don’t get it?
And when I had Maya and needed a schedule to get through the day? Everyone thought I was nuts then too.
So glad that you can relate! It makes me feel less un-cool and un-fun. 🙂
How absolutely bizarre! I would have lasted 30 min max!
So I feel better that I hung in there for several hours!
what a waste of a sunday huh. I went to a sunday night wedding once…in the middle we left the place and did our own celebration at home. it was fun (at home part that is).
Sunday weddings need to be outlawed in my opinion. Unless Monday is a holiday of course.
Ok, I don’t know where to start…
I think the lesson here is to always have a little snack in your purse. And tacky invites lead to tacky weddings.
Tacky invites = tacky weddings. So true.
Ameena, no difference with a Chinese Wedding dinner here. The last one I attended started at 9.45pm when the card said 7.00pm. I was there 6.45pm eventhough I know they would not start on time. I just could not bring myself to be late. I would have left if the host was not my mum’s best friend. My mum will not talk to me again if I did. Also no box gift but “Ang paus” (money in red packet). It was unstated but all Chinese knew that box gifts will not be appreciated. When we had our wedding dinner 15 yrs ago. Our card says 7.00pm SHARP and we started at 7.00pm sharp with just 10 tables out of 15 tables filled. We could get away with it because my hubby is an American, if Chinese, I think those late comers would have blacklisted us or would have broken the friendship with us. That serious? OH YES. But I knew some viewed us as arrogant and did not gave them face to start the dinner without them. In this case giving face was only one sided. My hubby never attend a Chinese Wedding dinner after he went to a few when we first moved back to Malaysia from US and I don’t blame him. It is like paying to torture yourself to eat an overpriced dinner with cold tasteless food. Siting on a table with a bunch of strangers where everyone stares into space waiting for the next course to come out, eat and leave is so meaningless. Worst still if they have a Karaoke during the dinner! You are forced to listen to croaking for hours. I am glad you did not have a photo of you at that wedding because you probably won’t look so beautiful as this one LOL!
Even when I KNOW an event will be late I find it nearly impossible to get there late. Because I am just a very on-time person. So I understand where you are coming from!
As for your husband….I don’t blame him either. I went to a Chinese Wedding dinner once and it was long, the food was a bit too unique for my tastes, and yes – strangers were staring into space! You captured my evening perfectly!
And thank you for the compliment!
This is why I’ll never get married.
I’d never want any one to go through such a horrid experience. There should be some sort of law that if your treated horribly at a wedding, you get a percentage of the divorce settlement.
My wedding was on time! So not all weddings are so absurdly strange.
Wow! Ummm, yeah, wow. Craziness.
Sounds like a good “learning experience”.
By the way, why does that always involve something that is painful, in one way or another?!
We call these painful experiences “learning experiences” so we can justify going through them!
Desis need a reality check – BIG TIME!
I’m not sure I would have waited as long as you did. I struggle with lateness, it is just plain rude. So glad you brought home your non boxed gift (what is that anyway, boxed, non boxed?). I would feel a compulsion to let them know, ooh so politely, how frustrated I was. GG
Non-boxed gift = money. Or maybe a gift-card. Neither of which I think are acceptable to ask for!
I’ve attended a Sunday wedding before, which was weird enough, but no one was around? I’d be pissed. Unboxed gifts? WTF does that mean? They don’t want to be bothered to unwrap? If I were you, I’d exchange that unwrapped gift for whatever you wanted.
Non-boxed gift means they want money! How funny, this must be a totally tacky Indian/Pakistani custom only.
You did read the invite correctly right? It seems crazy having a wedding on a Sunday, cheap and tacky too. Did u find out what the GO was? How freakin annoying for you guys.
They ended up having the wedding, they just did it hours and hours later. Ridiculous!
This post made me laugh so hard.
I’ve never been a wedding person, but that sounds..just…ugh. I feel for you. 😉
I’m not really a wedding person either. I had zero interest in planning mine if that tells you anything!
Wow, thank you WordPress.com. I am KELLY @ Foodie Fiasco. Sorry to bug you again.
Wow. Just Wow.
OMG! That is seriously crazy.. even for Indians!!! I would have been so mad to have to get all dressed up, drive far all for nothing! How did you manage to wait so long? I wouldn’t have been able to wait so long. Lovely family photo. Maya looks adorable!
Looking back I regret that I waited so long. So…so long.
Oh dear I feel your pain! Arab weddings are the same way; it’s like why do you even bother inviting everyone so early when the bride and groom don’t even intend to come out until like 1am (NOT an exaggeration)…my cousin’s wedding they didn’t even serve the buffet food until 3am…then again, this was IN saudi arabia so I suppose if the wedding was in the states they would make some culturally-grounded time modifications.
So if the wedding isn’t until 1 am and the food isn’t until 3 am what time to people arrive? I could never attend a wedding in Saudi because I simply couldn’t stay awake that late.
Wow. With that attention to punctuation I’d be have convinced they were Arabs! Good on you for taking the gift haha, they hardly sound deserving.
So Arabs are just as late as Indian/Pakistani people. Good to know!
Punctuality, sorry! My brain was fried when I wrote that. And yes they most definitely are – must be a non-western culture thing?
I am so confused by this. I am used to weddings never ending on time or not ending for days but not starting on time? And what’s with the no boxed gifts? Does that mean cash only or livestock?
Livestock? I love it.
They want cash though, of course!
I always just thought that was an Indian thing. My mom has a friend whose wedding started WAAAYYY later than the scheduled time and she said it was just part of the culture. She even rushed to get there at the proper time to meet my parents because she said “they’re white, they’ll actually be on time.”
Yes, Indian people are notoriously late. But even this wedding defied the cultural norms!
It must have been a huge disappointment all the way till you reached back home! 😦
We were hugely disappointed for sure!
what, really? No show?? I would have crashed another banquet and eaten some food or just left. Thats crazy!
They showed up eventually. And there was no other buffet to crash…plus I was in Indian clothes so I would have looked a bit obvious!
Really, that is crazy!!! Desis share a joke of being past the usual time anyways, you know the Indian Standard Time is always one hour or more past the usual time…But this is too much, and that too on a Sunday Night!! Good thing, you left.
On a different note, amazing outfit, I love Black traditional dresses!
Thank you for the compliment!
And yes, this went way past IST.
Wow. My head would have exploded with rage. And I would have made the bride clean it up, white dress and all. I would say you showed immense patience!
My head certainly was exploding with rage! And every time I think about it my head feels heavy again….
That’s when at least they could have hired a baloon artist or have a crazy aunt to go around doing fortune readings, or a little break out a little rock paper scissor action.
Okay…you are breathtaking!
I think all the guests would have asked the fortune teller: will dinner ever be served tonight? 🙂
And you are too sweet. Thank you!
What?! What?!
#1. Who gets married on a Sunday night?
#2. Who has a reception start so late?
#3. I’m impressed you stayed as late as you did!!!
1. Indian people.
2. Indian people.
3. I regret staying so late now!
That was probably the worst wedding story I’ve heard. I’m so sorry you guys had to go through that, my dear. Chinese weddings are the same too. I’ve been to one that started at 9:00 when they were supposed to start at 7:00, but this one definitely topped that one. I cannot believe you guys never even got to see the bride and groom, oh dear.
Okay so it’s Indian, Pakistani, Arab, and Chinese people who are perpetually late for weddings. Noted.
WHAT!? That is SO rude… Did you ever find out what the hold up was? Did they actually get married?
How annoying! I love the picture of the three of you. I would have loved to see what you wore to the non-event.
What a nightmare – I’m surprised you stayed around that long! Did they even get married? Craziness! On another note: such a great family picture!!!
Ugh! I so know the feeling. Totally been there. I really don’t get how the hosts have the gall to be late. Rude!
I’m astonished that you stayed as long as you did.
Why oh why Indian weddings are so late in general? People are so late all the time. I understand the frustration – glad you guys didn’t leave the gift for the couple. Not deserving 😉
OMG – I would have been furious!!!