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safety first

July 15, 2011

“Why are you okay with putting Maya on a bus in a city she’s been to once to attend an ice skating class where she doesn’t know anyone?”

I don’t know why I’m okay with this Ali. I just am. 

Anyway, Maya’s safety is the least of my concerns right now because after eight long months of being away I am thrilled to be going home tomorrow. And by home I mean New York City – the place that I eventually plan to move to.

I say eventually because thanks to his hatred of crowds and cold weather, my husband is being uncharacteristically stubborn about letting me have my way. Since this so rarely happens I was sort of at a loss on how to deal with him.

So I did the only thing I could do – I  promised Maya she could have her next birthday party at  Dylan’s Candy Bar… if only her dad would let us move to NYC. Needless to say Maya is 100% on board with the move and I have a feeling Ali’s going to realize he has no choice but to secure a real-estate agent and a warm coat very soon.

In the meantime, allow me to address Ali’s earlier insinuation that I am an unfit parent (because we all knew I couldn’t leave it alone). My husband should be the last person judging me when it comes to Maya’s safety seeing as I asked him to watch her for 5 minutes and this is what I came back to:

My kid is dressed in her ballet tutu and her apron, and is sitting barefoot in a chair on the balcony of our high-rise condo blowing bubbles. Unsupervised.

Call me crazy, but I think she can handle 30 minutes on a NYC bus.

83 Comments leave one →
  1. July 15, 2011 1:21 am

    Holla for the east coast! [To be clear – east coast of the U.S. not east coast of the Atlantic where I reside.] There is nothing like New York!

    My first steps on U.S. soil [err…asphalt] after moving abroad was in New York. 4 glorious days later I proudly boasted in my best Dorothy voice, “There is no place like home!” [To be clear – no I have never “lived” in NY.]

    As for Maya’s safety – from what I know about her – I have 100% confidence she will not only survive, but thrive in the jungles of the big city. Props to you for recruiting her in your mission to convince Ali of the obvious. 🙂

  2. July 15, 2011 3:05 am

    I wanna live in NYC one day too. 🙂
    And haha, your husband is probably like my dad. He ALWAYS wants me to be safe, and sometimes it gets pretty scary.

  3. July 15, 2011 3:19 am

    I hope you do live in NYC – but seriously that photo is scary. Kids are so unpredictable and adventurous that anything is possible – even if we adults cannot see the danger.

    But no doubt a brave girl, to be sat alone so high up – who does she take after you or Mr Ali?

    • July 15, 2011 9:48 am

      Neither Ali nor I are afraid of heights which is good seeing as we live in a high-rise. But Maya is fearless when it comes to everything! I like to think she takes after me in that respect. 🙂

  4. July 15, 2011 4:36 am

    Move across the country for a birthday party at a candy store?

    I’d do it, too.

  5. July 15, 2011 4:38 am

    I’d much rather live in NYC than LA. Yes, the being cold a large part of the year thing sucks, but I think NYC has much more to offer. Tell Ali this – it may convince him! 🙂

  6. July 15, 2011 4:56 am

    I’m so excited that you may be moving to NYC! A party at Dylan’s is worth it. I can see into it from my living room window and the parties that take place there look like they must be crazy fun! Can’t wait to see you soon!

    • July 15, 2011 9:45 am

      If you can see into Dylan’s than you are a hop skip and a jump away from Bloomingdale’s, right? You are living in my dream place…I just know it.

  7. July 15, 2011 5:00 am

    I love your strategy and would love if you moved to NYC. My family loves NYC. It is only a 3-4 hour drive from us, but we still don’t get there often enough.

    Usually when we visit NYC we stay in the same hotel and last year my youngest started calling it our New York house. I wish! If she only knew what a New York house would cost.

    And the balcony picture is scaring me!

  8. July 15, 2011 5:11 am

    I had no idea you wanted to move to NYC?! …the winters are harsh there though!

    • July 15, 2011 2:26 pm

      I can handle the winters but Ali says he cannot. 😦

  9. July 15, 2011 5:49 am

    Oh daaahling, all I see is NYC and I am so super jealous. I so wish I come too. I want to gorge on bagels all day long. I dont even care how fat my arse will look. I just want bagels. If you move to NYC I hope you have a guest room. I can cook some really fab Ameena friendly curries that will make it worth your while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll even babysit Maya (but she will get fat).
    I’m dying. I want to go.
    *kisses* HH

    • July 15, 2011 9:43 am

      Even if I don’t have a guest room you could stay with us anytime and we’ll eat bagels all day long..stomach aches and fat arses aside. Aren’t you headed to Paris soon? How is your Louboutin fund coming along??

  10. July 15, 2011 6:08 am

    I went to NYC for the first time last fall and fell in love with it so I can understand you wanting to live there!
    When I first saw that picture of Maya I thought he had put her there as a punishment or something, lol.

    • July 15, 2011 2:27 pm

      Ali punish Maya? We have a better chance of moving to NYC!!

  11. July 15, 2011 6:10 am

    First, that photo of unsupervised Maya in the balcony is scary. And with that, I think Ali loses his credibility of talking about safety .. 🙂

    Second, YAY for NYC!! I don’t live in NYC area (about 3-4 hours away) but I could come and visit and we could go shopping together! Wouldn’t that be great?! I so vote for that. You and Maya will rock & conquer Manhattan (Upper East Side – Woo hoo!). The food is great too. You could find all kind of food from all over the world. You could meet people from all over the world as well. There are great museums, great baseball stadiums, great restaurants, stores, parks, the list is long!

    Although I have to admit that winter could be harsh (bitter & long) here in the Northeast but that’s part of the package. You get to experience all the 4 seasons. Snow and all. It’s so worth it. So come on Ali!

    • July 15, 2011 2:28 pm

      The idea of actually having 4 proper seasons is a big reason why I love NYC. This may sound ridiculous but I am tired of the constantly sunny and 70 degree weather here in LA!

  12. July 15, 2011 6:33 am

    YES! Move to NYC!! Are you here today? We should meet up for some window shopping 🙂

    • July 15, 2011 9:51 am

      I will be there tomorrow night and would love to meet up!!

  13. July 15, 2011 6:44 am

    I’d be a bit nervous about putting Maya on a bus by herself in NYC. However for some perspecitve, when I was 18years old and my sister 20, our parents went on a 2 week vacation to Hawaii. Our grandparents, who lived in the house behind us, had to move into our house for the 2 weeks to make sure we were ok. I rest my case.

    I’d just suggest you have an honest serious talk with Maya prior to the trip to make sure she is VERY aware of what’s going on around her. I’m sure you’ve already done that.

    I love NY also. I have never lived there, but I’ve always wanted to. Have a wonderful visit to your once and future home!!

    • July 15, 2011 2:29 pm

      To clarify it’s a bus run by the ice skating camp and only has students on it. I wouldn’t put her on the regular city bus…I’m not that bad of a mother. Yet…

  14. July 15, 2011 6:52 am

    Eek, that picture had my heart stopping a little. And yay for New York!! I’ve never been there but it is number one on my list of places to go.

  15. July 15, 2011 7:05 am

    I would, hands down, take NYC over LA anyday of the week. I haven’t been to NYC in years but I have fond memories of the trips I took there to interview in college and then the week I spent out there at a bond conference for work (fond memories of the city not so much the bond stuff). Wandering around Soho, eating bagels until I was ready to pop, and don’t even get me started on the MOMA. Have fun on your trip!!

    • July 15, 2011 2:29 pm

      Thank you Heather! I see some bagels in my future…

  16. July 15, 2011 7:29 am

    I so hope you can now gang up on him and make your move possible.

  17. July 15, 2011 8:00 am

    Ahh move to NYC!!! I think your family would love it there!

  18. Cindy permalink
    July 15, 2011 8:05 am

    I let my teenager ride a city bus for the first time..last month.


    I’m a ninny!

    you would ROCK NYC but don’t leave too fast, we still need to have tea and visit!

  19. July 15, 2011 8:10 am

    I love how you write: “York City – the place that I eventually plan to move to” Not *we*, but *I*. Too funny!

    • July 15, 2011 2:30 pm

      The sad truth is that Maya and I are going to move there…with or without Ali!

  20. July 15, 2011 8:16 am

    Moving to NYC? Uhm. I’m kind of jealous! I haven’t been there since I was really little and the twin towers were still stnading, but I have a huge crush on that city after all the things I keep hearing about it, and I really want to go! My city is so boring, and it would be a nice change to live in a place where things are actually happening. As for Maya, seeing as how she’s YOUR daughter, I’d put a safe bet on the fact that she’s got a good head on her shoulders and can take perfect care of herself 😀

    • July 15, 2011 2:31 pm

      Well thank you Amanda for your confidence in me AND Maya!!

  21. July 15, 2011 8:33 am

    I could totally see you living in New York. It suits you.

  22. July 15, 2011 8:49 am

    nyc isnt that bad! (i dont like public transportation b/c im spoiled like that, but its pretty safe!) and welcome here…its a great place to live!!

    • July 15, 2011 2:31 pm

      I LOVE public transportation. If I could sell my car and take the subway here in LA I would. In a second flat. But public transportation in LA is scary. And useless.

  23. July 15, 2011 9:41 am

    Dylan’s Candy Bar would have definitely been a legitimate incentive for me to move to NYC as a kid. I’ve never lived in LA or NYC, but I can imagine I would be far more on board with living in NYC- and yes I think Maya will be absolutely fine on a bus there 🙂 Have loads of fun and do some shopping for yourself (or perhaps purchase Ali a real nice irresistible coat as a persuasive mechanism)

  24. July 15, 2011 9:57 am

    I love NY even though the only reasons I’ve ever been there have been terrible (bar exam, swearing in ceremony, layovers). Halal food cart- 53rd and 6th. It will change your life 🙂 Can’t wait to see NYC pictures friend!

  25. July 15, 2011 10:02 am

    Ah finally Ali will agree to move to NYC or is this only for a short time business trip/vacation?

    • July 15, 2011 2:33 pm

      We are only going for a week…this time. The next time may be permanently??

  26. July 15, 2011 10:11 am

    Yuck. You couldn’t get me to move to NYC for anything. Leaving Chicago was an absolute dream and the wooded, lake-strewn rural area we’re in now is worth the lack of good food stores (and Bloomingdales, for that matter).

    I guess the question is what kind of bus? Is it the dance school’s bus or just a city bus. If the dance school, then yeah, I’d understand and maybe do the same (but probably not). I’m as bad as Ali, I guess.

    • July 15, 2011 2:34 pm

      I should clarify that the bus is run by the ice skating camp and only buses students to and from the camp. I’m a bit scared to ride the city bus by myself so I definitely wouldn’t put Maya on it. 🙂 I can’t believe you left Chicago! I love it there as well…it’s a close second or third to NYC!

  27. July 15, 2011 10:23 am

    I agree- East Coast all the way! And at least there were bars on the balcony…? Ok, yeah it’s pretty bad.

  28. July 15, 2011 10:43 am

    I don’t consider myself a paranoid parent at all, but knowing my kids they would have that balcony scaled in no time. Unfortunately there are few things my kids are afraid of. I do appreciate my fearless children, it just makes my job harder.

    • July 15, 2011 2:35 pm

      Maya is fearless but has some common sense. I suppose she gets that from me seeing as Ali lacks a bit in that department…

  29. July 15, 2011 10:44 am

    No no, it’s the other way around! Maya left Ali unattended with 3 ipads, a mac and 89 meters of cords of undetermined need. THAT is a crime and Maya needs to be punished severely. I say, let her go to the candy bar but tell them that she’s diabetic so all they give her is celery and carrots. See why I never procreated? I’m horrible.

    Have a blast!

    • July 15, 2011 2:36 pm

      Deb…Deb…Deb…we do NOT utilize MAC’s around here. We are a PC family!! Ali would be extremely disappointed that you would think otherwise…

      • July 19, 2011 4:00 pm

        Lulz. My sweetie upturns his nose at anyone who would even insinuate that we were “Mac people” too. The thing is, he hates Apple because they do things like refuse to support Flash. But he also hates it when websites use Flash! Computer science people can be very difficult to please.

      • July 19, 2011 6:45 pm

        Seeing as I’m married to a computer person I completely get where you are coming from!

  30. July 15, 2011 10:59 am

    The East coast rocks 🙂 I like New York – very pretty!! Hope you get your wish!!

  31. July 15, 2011 12:18 pm

    Birthday at Dylan’s Candy Bar???

    I think you would recieve the “best mom ever” prize for a few years.

    While I love staying in LA during school time, I don’t ever see me staying there permanently…I miss trees!!

  32. July 15, 2011 4:12 pm

    Dance camp bus sounds just fine to me! I have to side with you and yeah that picture freaks me out a bit. I’m always worried about my kids in high rises like that. I’ve become a chicken since I became a mother.

  33. July 15, 2011 7:12 pm

    NYC is my dream city!!!!

  34. Leslie permalink
    July 15, 2011 8:37 pm

    New York City is divine. I’m only worried it’s going to be mega-humid for you this time of year. Stay cool in Bloomingdales as much as possible! We think alike on all the other points. The seasons are marvelous- and there’s nothing like wearing all the beautiful winter coats and boots – it makes the winter tolerable from a fashion standpoint.

    Have you and Ali ever had a date night at The River Cafe in Brooklyn under the Bridge? Tres, tres romantique!

    I know you’re leaving tomorrow, and I wish you quick, painless passage through Carmageddon!

  35. July 15, 2011 10:11 pm

    You remind me of my ma. I love it. Your so cool and chillaxed about stuff most parents go mentle about. Respect to that dear girl. Thanks so much by the way for the few suggestions for NY fun. Havent seen Mr HG yet to properly discuss, but digging the idea of doing NY in Vegas. 🙂 Ill write you by the end of the weekend. Which I hope you are enjoying. 🙂

  36. July 15, 2011 11:21 pm

    Alas, NY is fun to visit, but so cold! I can’t take the cold, though I love everything else about New York.

  37. July 16, 2011 12:02 am

    If you can get Ali to move, then you go girl! My husband said that the next time I want to move, I should hit him over the head with a shovel and bury him in the backyard…you could always try that if Ali won’t budge….sorry Ali, I mean you no harm!

    • July 17, 2011 6:38 pm

      Since we live in a condo we have no yard…thus I think Ali feels pretty secure that he has nothing to worry about… 🙂

  38. July 16, 2011 8:45 am

    HAHAHA at, “I promised Maya she could have her next birthday party at Dylan’s Candy Bar… if only her dad would let us move to NYC.” I LOVE! Totally sounds like something I would do. How is it that we haven’t met yet?!

    You’re going to gasp when I say this, but I’ve yet to visit NYC. Hopefully when I do, I’ll be able to visit you there ;). By that time, Maya would’ve gotten her B-Day party, you would’ve gotten to move, I would’ve gotten to visit YOU and NYC, and I’m sure Ali would’ve gotten something out of it too. See, everybody wins, happy happy joy joy :D. Ali if you’re reading this, moving to NYC is obviously the right choice ;). Have a super weekend, guys!

    • July 17, 2011 6:39 pm

      Oh LeQuan, you would LOVE it here! I think you definitely need to take a little trip east at your earliest convenience. I’ll come back to NY and meet you here!

  39. July 16, 2011 2:12 pm

    Busses are basically against my religion (though in my twisted values system, subways/metros are not). But even though I avoid them at all costs, I was reading along and thinking, “Maya? On the bus? Go for it.”

    I’m not sure if I’m more concerned that Maya is on the balcony in that snap or that she’s being a fashion criminal with the tutu-apron combo.

    Oh hell, Rodarte will probably do something just like it next season anyway.

    • July 17, 2011 6:40 pm

      It’s a toss up Kat, isn’t it? I’m with you although her ensemble is slightly more disturbing…

  40. July 16, 2011 6:46 pm

    Birthday party at a candy store? I’d be up for anything, too 😀

  41. July 17, 2011 5:39 am

    yea, she’s the toughest kid on the block! 🙂
    as long as this photo doesn’t mean its a foreshadowing to a possible security job in the future, i think everything will be okay… i mean clearly she knows the city needs some vigilant watchmen/women to protect it from the terrible people out there!! 🙂

    xoxo ❤

    • July 17, 2011 6:41 pm

      Maya’s my little hall monitor…she’s the best security guard ever!

  42. July 17, 2011 6:25 am

    I wouldn’t trust me on a NYC bus, but I’m not as smart as your daughter, so I think she can handle it 🙂 Call me crazy, but I’m super jealous of her in that picture…she looks so content. I’ve never been to NYC, and Marcus offered to take me as he has a “friend” there who would be happy to show us around. “Friend” is his exgirlfriend. Umm, no dear. We’ll stick to Chicago.

    • July 17, 2011 6:13 pm

      His “friend” showing you around would certainly provide an interesting dynamic…

  43. July 17, 2011 12:11 pm

    Why is that every time you come to NYC, I’m not there? Are you avoiding me Ameena? silly Ameena. 🙂

    Wait, so is Maya like going on the bus completely by herself? How will she know which stop to get off at?

    • July 17, 2011 6:10 pm

      Seeing as you are the lucky one who flew off to France, I thought you were avoiding me! And Maya is taking a bus specific to the camp – with camp counselors and everything!

  44. July 17, 2011 12:45 pm

    I am in love with NYC, I really want to go back again! We are planning to make a trip down to LA and LV this December, wish I can say the same about these places when I come back 🙂 Hope you are enjoying NY, Ameena!

  45. July 17, 2011 8:19 pm

    she will be fine on that bus 🙂 i hope you get to move to NYC!!!

  46. July 18, 2011 7:08 am

    Have fun in NYC and good luck with your plot!
    I hope that you don’t lose your laptop (or someone doesn’t steal it) like other people I know did this summer while in NYC…
    And good luck with the humidity! I honestly was so happy to return to the dryness of LA after a two-week stint on the East Coast that I almost kissed the sidewalk outside of LAX.
    But you should have fun – and so should Maya!

  47. Erica permalink
    July 18, 2011 8:28 am

    Introduce her to so she can navigate. Just incase, always best to be prepared, but I’m sure she will be just fine!

    • July 18, 2011 1:17 pm

      Thank you for the suggestion Erica! Seeing as I am terrible with directions I think I totally need that website myself. 🙂

  48. July 18, 2011 10:29 am

    I love to visit NYC and the east coast, but I much prefer the west in general!

  49. July 18, 2011 9:44 pm

    My parents let me walk to school by myself when I was Maya’s age. She’ll survive. It made me more independent, that’s for sure.

  50. July 19, 2011 11:00 am

    In a city that never sleeps…I can see you flourishing walking through central parks and finding a small neighboorhood to rule over!

  51. magicofspice permalink
    July 19, 2011 12:56 pm

    I just want to go shopping in NYC…hope you have a great time 🙂

  52. July 19, 2011 7:45 pm

    I am undecided as to what is best for my kids. At times I think some of the tougher times at home shaped me into a more humble appreciative person but then I find myself catering to my kids in a way I know can’t be healthy. I want them to be independent but I want it to be in a totally safe environment. Sounds like you and Ali struggle in the exact same way.

  53. Galit Breen permalink
    July 22, 2011 7:45 pm

    OMG Dying at your picture title!

    Also? I hope that the moving to NYC route is via MN! 🙂



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