fate
Remember when I wrote that touching Maya’s baby teeth is grosser than cleaning vomit? Well fate decided to test that little statement.
We were at the library when Maya said the dreaded words, “Mama, my tummy hurts. I think I need to go to the doctor.”
That’s all it took to put the fear of God in me. I packed up Maya and drove home faster than Google can pull up results for “how to clean vomit off leather seats.” (About 53,900 results in 0.15 seconds in case you’re interested).
I settled Maya in on the sofa and got our environment vomit-ready:
- I braided Maya’s hair to minimize the barf-in-hair quotient.
- I covered the couch with Maya’s Dora blanket.
- I covered the wood floor with old towels.
- After much debate I chose and strategically placed the XXL barf bucket (we have 2 sizes) next to Maya’s head.
Despite my preparations, vomit still made its way…everywhere. So while I hauled her dirty clothes into the laundry room, wiped the floor clean of things I’d rather forget, and dragged Maya into the shower (both of us gagging all the way) Ali remained on high alert too.
Do you notice the foot massage? Comfort all the way, right?
He whipped out his laptop and take-out containers of butternut squash soup and chicken salad, and picked up where he left off…typing away. All in a vomit-free environment of course.
Must be nice to be him, right?
While I'm not going to win Mother/Wife of the Year Award anytime soon, I haven't killed anyone yet or shot myself in the head. And that, my friends, is how I calculate success these days. 
FANCY THAT FANCY THIS 
Wow. My kids don’t vomit. I think god gave me these boys because I couldn’t handle it. Regardless of what google says I’d have to move or get a new couch. Hope she feels better. Hope you do too. BTW butternut squash soup is very puke-like in appearance, can’t believe your husband could “go there”.
I’m surprised you didn’t start vomiting daaaaahling :(. Hope Maya is feeling better and it wasn’t anything to serious.
p.s. fun idea: a little bit of soup leftovers in Ali’s foot massager might look like barf :)…
he he he… maybe he was quietly googling how to most quickly get vomit smell out of the house?
Yuck… I hope Maya’s feeling better soon, though!
Hahaha, I so much loved when I saw you had put that picture of Ali! Hope Maya is feeling better now, and you as well! 🙂
Hope Maya feels better soon! Maybe Ali’s thinking, “It looks like Ameena has it all under control.” LOL!
oh vomiting..the worst!!! i hope maya is feeling better now! so do you think touching her baby teeth is worst than vomit now??? lol
Oh no, I hope Maya feels better! I can’t stand the smell, look or sound of vomit too. 😦 Yuck.
Right after you snapped that picture, he got up to clean up the vomit, right? Right?!? 🙂
Hope she’s feeling better!!!!
Yuck – I can’t do vomit. My Husband would NOT be getting a free card on that one!!
Aawwwhhh, hope the little barfa is feeling better & all traces of the wretched stuff is gone. Ali does look like he’s in the zone doesn’t he? 🙂
I am sure that he is just googling ways to make you feel relaxed and taken care of after you clean up her vomit. Right?
I hope Maya feels better! Vomit is my kryptonite as well. Although I’m kind of curious to know how large the XXL bucket is. Wait, nevermind!
I love how 90% of the pictures of Ali on your blog also include his laptop ; )
i cant believe you got her home in time, nevermind having a spread set up in preparation of what was to come. though it does not sounds like a pleasant experience.
Aww, poor little Maya. This is NOT something I’m looking forward to about motherhood…must train my hubby starting now…
I don’t have kids, but when the cat coughs up a hairball, my Sweetie thoughtfully places a paper towel over it to bring attention to the spot and goes right back to his programming. No foot massager, though 😀
Would it be bad parenting to have her sit on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet bowl rather than in the comfort of her blanket on the couch?
That stinks Maya is sick. Hope she gets over it quickly. I hate when my son gets sick. Luckily I can’t even remember the last time he threw up…He has my iron clad stomach for sure.
I bet Ali was also one of those dads that did the whole dry heave when it came to dirty diapers? What is it about men that make them think they are exempt from cleaing their kiddo’s bodily fluids? As if WE like to do it. I guess it’s just a given that the mom takes care of it…why though I have no clue.
Don’t you trust yourself cleaning it all up though more than Ali? I know I would! Not that he would do a *bad* job, but you know what I mean!
He’s just googling “How to get vomit smell out of house.”
Why do kids throw up so much? I feel like they puke 10 times as often as adults.
Haha, this is one part of motherhood that I can’t say I’m looking forward to whenever we have kids.
Oh…the joy’s of motherhood! All that preparation…you were ready and it was still a MESS!
Yes, I bet Ali is just googling directions to the doctors or more vomit removal methods. Good to keep the feet comfy while he helps out so diligently!
gosh, ameena. your blog does a really good job at scaring me out of motherhood.
It seems that vomit is making its rounds lately – sorry you had your turn. It is truly unfortunate that somehow all bodily fluid messes default clean-up to the mothers…the women’s right movement should take that stereotype on!
Is he wearing pj bottoms? Must be nice to be him, indeed.
PS: Is that the Shopaholic series on the bookshelf behind him? If so, we have the same taste in books 🙂
Poor Maya! I hope she’s feeling better ASAP!
Oh, and i’ve officially decided if I’m ever in Cali we must meet!
xoxo
hahah oh Ameena, where would we be without Ali? He gives you SO much to talk about! 🙂
That picture is priceless.
Hope your little one is feeling better. XO
Ameena, thank you for the comment! you can do this with Goat yogurt (which is so healthy and so easy to digest; currently doing a study on goat proteins etc), and it seems to help people who cannot injest dairy. Soy Yogurt and Coconut yogurt would work just as well!
Hope Maya is doing better! poor girl, she has not had the best week between the vomit and the ‘mean’ girl! I think it is so sweet that she calls you “Momma’!
Miss talking to you more!
XOXOXO
Barbara
ahhh vomit! I remember throwing up inside an ex boyfriend’s car after some not-so-good food made it’s way into my belly. He deserved it. whatever.
You totally do not deserve it though — hope maya is feeling better!!!!!
The photos you capture of Ali are priceless! 🙂
Oh no! I hope Maya is okay now and that it wasn’t anything serious. I’m sorry, I had to laugh when you said you used Maya’s Dora blanket to protect the couch. Maybe next time try one of hubby’s favorite shirts. I’ve done that, it works great (in both senses) 😉
Hi Ameena,
Thanks for your comment to me a couple weeks ago (better late than never, right?) I can relate to this post. My Hubs does a ton but you should see him in the a.m. I am like a machine with 3 kids getting ready for three schools, making lunches, etc. Mine just gets up and showers and dresses himself and goes. With a made lunch by me.
Been enjoying your blog. I grew up in West L.A. but I have lived in Georgia for a long time.
Oh man oh man. Being around a barfy kid takes some serious guts. You are awesome. I would have ran and hid.
Hope Maya is feeling better.
All I can say is, you have the patience of a saint to let him be so calm and comfortable in the middle of such a big barf crisis. I can never imagine being so patient.
I can relate. I got up 3x last night, but not for the kids, it was for our dog! The first time I ignored him. The second and third time I didn’t. Glenn did, and always does ignore anything that happens while he is sleeping. But since I don’t work I consider it part of my job. Kid and dog vomit are definitely not the fun stuff.
Oh no. At least she gave you fair warning, right? It sounds like she has bad aim though…
I hope Maya’s feeling better now!
I’m of the belief that children are like cats. It’s all about them and they puke constantly.
But, vomit high-alert. Isn’t that the truth? I SO remember my mother strategically draping blankets and sheets EVERYWHERE. Thank you for choosing the braid instead of the ponytail. Combining fashion and function is a must in those situations.
That sounds super traumatic. On an unrelated note, I love that you have Confessions of a Shopaholic on your bookshelf!
Aww, poor Maya (and you!). But I was cracking up at your preparations. My mom would just throw one of those puke trays at me or drag me in front of the toilet. Dang, that toilet smell…if my belly had been successful of holding it together, that smell finished it off.
Hope Maya is feeling betterr. My dad used to make me sit on a towel with my head next to the toilet–which I believe was a strategy to not only avoid the mess but to get me vomit that much faster. Yuck. Although I can’t say I won’t do the same to my child! lol
My own mother is on your side, Ameena. She so loathed vomiting that the allegedly one-time I did it as a child, she still talks about it…decades later. Talk about trauma. Then of course, she had to help me all the times I vomited during chemo therapy in the hospital. Poor Moms!
I do hope Maya is feeling much better now. What do you give her post-vomiting? Ginger ale? Sprint? You’re quite the logistics chief there. I must say I hope that the Dora the Explorer blanket aka Ali’s favorite survives Maya’s upset tummy.
I truly almost fell over laughing at Ali’s foot massager. That man knows how to rock comfort!
I have Maya stick to a BRAT diet post-barf…Bananas, Rice, Applesauce (she refuses), Toast. This minimizes the return of the vomit!!
No comment. Well alright I will. I would generally scream in such situations. Doesn’t work but well I try. Why didn’t you?
I couldn’t love that picture of Ali more than I do. Especially knowing that vomigeddon is going on around him.
HAHA – i bet he was googling some cure for Maya… right 😉
Lemon Juice is the best solvent for vomit smells…try it with a smidgen of vinegar and he’ll be great…no googling required!
Haha. Love your sense of humor. Wondering how Maya is doing? Hope she feels better.
Oh no!! We had the same thing this weekend. I was up ALL night taking care of my heaving child.
Every 30 minutes and my hubby slept through it all! Men.
I don’t think anything is worse than vomit!! Thats one thing that I REQUIRE my hubby to help out with!
Hopefully Maya is better?!! And the vomiting didn’t last long!!
Oh no, poor Maya and poor you! *hugs* I hope you both feel better and get lots of R&R… I’m super impressed with your preparedness! And Ali owes you! 😉 When our cats throw up (every day) Zach says “they’re your cats!” and magically disappears. Sigh.
Can I give Ali some credit and say he may be Googling how to deal with vomit in the house?! Is that a stretch? 🙂
Thank God for moms!
awwe poor Maya!!!my 3 years old is also prone to vomiting .Now the good thing is he has learnt to grab the vomit bowl as he feels sick.But the kids grow out of it as they grow big.Hope Maya is feeling better already.Yogurt also helps to minimize the chances of vomiting again.
Yeps. Hey, you should see vomit off the top of a bunkbed. It is…well, something else.
Oh. Em. Gee.
I laughed so hard (in Starbucks, mind you) when I saw the picture of Ali, looking chill as usual when chaos is erupting.
I hope Maya is feeling better now!
I hope she is feeling better…sick kids are definitely no fun.
my niece vomited while in the plane seat in front of me today. how gross. and of course she didnt make it to the barf bag. i feel your pain.
Sorry about the barf!! On the plane it must be…unbearable. Where were/are you going Rose?
No wonder we say, I want my Mummy and not daddy when we are in need! I do like Ali’s zoned out expression, he is totally into it.
I treat stomach bugs like the plague. If I know a friend or family member has one…I avoid them at all costs. I don’t know what I’ll do when I have kids! Thanks for sharing, my dear friend. It feels good to return to the blogs I love after such a hard and trying week. Your words and photographs bring a smile to my face. I hope your sweet girl starts to feel better and that none of you get sick!
Okay, dying as always! That’s just so…always the way, isn’t it?!
Eeewww and gross- I’m sure you didn’t need me to say that, but still: Eeeewww and gross.
And btw, that foot massage? Is really the cherry on top of this post!
Oh joy. Is this what I have to look forward to?
During one conversation when the Spaniard and I discussed children he literally said to me, “all you have to do is have the child, I will do everything else. Feed it (yes “it”), take it to school…”
I am tacking on vomit duty to our agreement!
Hope Maya feels better.
My husband said these exact words to me 6 years ago….lies…all lies…
LOL – poor little girl! I remember being scared to death of vomiting when I was younger. Ick.
Ali is like hard-core, man-of-steel. Does anything phase him!?
I fell a little bit in love with you because of this post…
And it is NOT because I have a thing for vomit…
OH poor Maya and Mama!
JJ got sick for the first time a few months ago and it scared him, and he would NOT let me direct him to a sink or bowl or toilet…so guess who needed a shower?
we both did.
we just sat in the tub till it was over.
and than we did it again.
I feel for ya.
I was actually glad when my husband stayed clear. It made it easier on us both.
Hope Maya feels better soon!!!
I would vomit over him if I were you. Let’s see how clean he stays. 🙂
I have YET to make it through a vomit fest with one of my kids without vomiting myself. Gag reflex. I think I’ll take the mini teeth. 🙂
Poor baby:-( Hope she is feeling better.
with 2 at home, I am with u with the prevention, towels and tying hair, but A(rjun) is with me too even if it happens in the middle of the night, any time any where. Cannot at all relate to your A’s zoning out. kind of makes me mad. (sorry)
The last time my son threw up, it was after he’d had a hot dog for lunch. Vomit didn’t bother me until that moment. And of course, my husband was downstairs gagging b/c of the smell, while I was in a tiny room cleaning up chunky puke, and trying not to puke myself. Men.