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I Caved

December 6, 2010

When I was a kid I knew better than to ask for anything.

I never asked for toys, I never asked for a snack while we were out, and I never, ever complained that I was tired and I wanted to go home. Why? Well because annoying my parents was tantamount to signing my own death sentence. And for some bizarre reason I wanted to live to see another day.

Here’s the crazy thing – even though I inherited and put to use their crazy parenting  tactics, Maya has no fear.  I don’t get it?

At The Grove - Maya + a free Nordstrom balloon = Happiness.

Example A – we attempted to engage in a bit of family bonding time yesterday. I say attempted because the afternoon was marred by a variety of  West L.A.-ish comments from Maya including, “I’m starving and parched. I need a snack now!” and “Well, if you aren’t going to buy me something than I don’t want to look. Can we go home now?”

At L.A. Live - Maya + a free foam finger = Happiness Squared

No dammit, we can’t, I wanted to reply as my blood pressure shot through the roof. We are bonding right now!  As a family! And we will enjoy it NO MATTER WHAT!

This is, after all, what my dad would have yelled at me and my siblings while we quivered in fear.

But what did I really say? “If you stay quiet for 5 whole minutes I swear I’ll turn on the The Fresh Beat Band the second we get home.”

I have a feeling that my parents are very disappointed in me. Very, very disappointed.

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68 Comments leave one →
  1. December 6, 2010 3:03 am

    I foresee myself in this exact situation as Marin gets older!

    p.s. Maya looks so cute in her Hello Kitty outfit 🙂

  2. December 6, 2010 3:49 am

    Good call on the free gifts to keep her entertained. Now that’s creative thinking.

  3. December 6, 2010 4:00 am

    Maya is adorable!!! I love that HK outfit!!!
    My kids have no fear either!

    Jen

  4. December 6, 2010 4:19 am

    My parents were exactly the same way… sometimes, you’ve just gotta cave to get them to close their mouths though. 🙂

  5. December 6, 2010 4:23 am

    i’m afraid that maya might be the child version of me. or i’m the older version of her . perhaps in a few years i’ll have to give you lists of things to look out for 😉 (obsession with lipgloss anyone…?)
    in the meantime, i think anything you do will be just fine!

  6. December 6, 2010 4:45 am

    How old is Maya? She looks like the little girl that is on the Disney channel – I think in “Corey in the House” and also in that movie with The Rock Dwayne Johnson – “The Game” ? (I think! something about football….).

    Your a GOOD mom. I would have said something else 😉

    • December 6, 2010 3:08 pm

      Maya says she is “5 and six quarters” but she’s really just almost 6.

  7. December 6, 2010 5:12 am

    I, on the other hand, am very proud of you. At least you didn’t promise Yo Gaba Gaba. Every time I see Maya I’m amazed at how much she looks like Dudette.

    I love your new header!

  8. December 6, 2010 5:13 am

    A little bribe never hurt anybody. Also, is it bad I don’t know what The Fresh Beat Band is?

    • December 6, 2010 3:07 pm

      Consider yourself lucky that you don’t know who the Fresh Beat Band is.

  9. December 6, 2010 5:37 am

    Ahhh, kids these days, right? 🙂

  10. December 6, 2010 5:40 am

    Kids these days, right? 🙂

  11. December 6, 2010 6:40 am

    I love how matter-of-fact she is!

    “Well if you aren’t going to buy me something, I don’t want to look”

    Sensible. :p

  12. December 6, 2010 7:05 am

    I GET IT, I TOTALLY GET IT, and you know I do too. The funny thing is, I know exactly what Fresh Beat Band is. Ask me 1 year ago and I would’ve replied, “are they the newest NKOTB?”. Let’s just say kids free toys = happy mommy (until kid breaks free toy). Try to have a non-hair pulling my dear, as will I 😉

    • December 6, 2010 7:09 am

      I’m obviously still sleeping. Kids PLUS free toys = happy mommy (until kid breaks free toy). Try to have a non-hair pulling DAY my dear, as will I. Or FB chat? Lol.

  13. December 6, 2010 7:21 am

    Parenting sounds so hard. Why do children have minds of their own?

  14. December 6, 2010 7:26 am

    “..And for some bizarre reason I wanted to live to see another day.” Too funny. I wish I could write my thoughts out as candidly as you do. You say what we’re all secretly thinking.

    I was the same way as a kid. I never questioned my parents, never demanded anything, and always tried to get people’s approval. I was an annoying little perfectionist, I guess.

  15. December 6, 2010 7:35 am

    Maya looks very cute with that lovely smile. love her in that outfit. your shopping in nyc was well worth.

    i think you should be happy that maya has no fear and is probably more confident and clear than you were as a kid.

    i agree with the disciplining though.

  16. December 6, 2010 7:55 am

    oh my, that is kinda funny though. I am not sure what has happened to kids these days. It’s not you, it is actually the kids.

  17. December 6, 2010 8:04 am

    I used to be the same way with my parents: terrified to ask for anything because I was afraid they would say no and question my greed.

    My grandmother on the otherhand was much easier to approach. I’d ask her for anything!

  18. December 6, 2010 8:06 am

    Love her little outfit and boots. Kid’s these days……say that and you feel old but it’s really true!! Looks like Maya managed to have a fun time anyways…hope you did too.

  19. December 6, 2010 8:07 am

    Lol, for some reason I’m not nearly as scary to my niece as my mom is…I totally feel your pain! 😉 Aww, Maya is adorable sporting her new outfit!

  20. December 6, 2010 8:30 am

    Ameena,
    Now kids are the rulers of house. What they doings now which I did I will be getting real scolding from dad.

  21. December 6, 2010 8:47 am

    hahaha kids these days are soooo ahead of the game! If my parents yelled I would be quiet that instant. Sometimes, my mom would threaten to send me to an orphanage (evil, I know) if I didn’t behave. That one got me every time. hehe

  22. December 6, 2010 8:51 am

    back when i was growing up it used to be ‘the stare’ that got us to shut up and cower in a corner until we were needed. no when you do the stare kids just look at you like, whats wrong with your face? lol.

  23. December 6, 2010 8:57 am

    my son gave us all “fresh beat” personas.

    I’m mirena.

    hubs is Shout…the teenager is twist.

    JJ is Kiki.

    we have to address each other in our pseudo names and play the right instrument accordingly or we get corrected.

    he’s insane and he hasn’t seen the show in a while (like a few months)

    but at least we are past the “gabba” phase. I was tired of being Fuffa.

    I was like you as a child. Never ever would consider poking at authority…i think it depends on the child. I fear what life would have been like for JJ if he had been born my mother’s child.

    he lives on a very short leash he does earn a few minutes of tv time for good behavoir. Plus in our house, hunger gets what hunger wants.

    for a second I thought you were at Disneyland in front of that huge tree! Haven’t been there in a decade.
    LOVE HER OUTFIT!!!!!

  24. December 6, 2010 8:59 am

    I am suddenly having flashbacks to yesterday. I suppose as long as I live at home I will continue to fear my parents.

  25. December 6, 2010 9:16 am

    Maya looks cute in that outfit 🙂 I guess kids in the US are more outspoken here. US environment is totally different from us the Asians.

  26. December 6, 2010 9:30 am

    I was always scared to ask for things…I’d just stare at them and wouldn’t leave so my parents would know I wanted it..haha.

  27. December 6, 2010 9:42 am

    she is such a diva! but how do you say no to that gorgeous face?!

  28. December 6, 2010 9:43 am

    “I’m starving and parched. I need a snack now!” and “Well, if you aren’t going to buy me something than I don’t want to look. Can we go home now?”
    These could be the words of a mini housewife in training… be warned daaaaahling. LOL
    *kisses* HH

  29. December 6, 2010 9:58 am

    She’s just so adorable! And I love how she got a balloon from Nordstoms. What did you get? ^_^

    • December 7, 2010 7:38 pm

      I am proud to say that I bought absolutely nothing. From Nordstroms anyway.

  30. December 6, 2010 10:34 am

    I’m thinking these ‘new kids on the block’ must come from another planet coz I still get a bit freaked out if my Mom looks at me a certain way. The other day I had way too many kids dashing about amongst all the tables (Mothers Christmas Function) so I thought I’d do my Mom’s scary “your in a lot of trouble look”….., the kid took one look at me & laughed then got her friends to come look at me and they all laughed….. ‘another planet for sure’… 😉

  31. December 6, 2010 11:19 am

    Maya is going to be a number one stunna when she grows up. I don’t know if you should feel proud or frightened by that.

    I was that kid at the grocery store pulling stuff off of the shelves and putting it in the cart. My mom threatened to get me a leash. That usually did the trick.

  32. Leslie permalink
    December 6, 2010 11:20 am

    I, like you Ameena, grew up in fear of misbehaving. No corporal punishment was needed – just the threat that I would be left at home with the baby sitter instead of going out. I adored going out and knew I had to behave perfectly or I’d be staying home. For me, staying home was tantamount to a prison sentence. Because I behaved I got to go all sorts of wonderful “grown up” places, especially restaurants, theater, even “supper clubs” like they had back east.

  33. December 6, 2010 11:50 am

    I was more fearful of having my parents upset with me too. I have to wonder if taking our daughter “out and about” so much made a difference. I think it was more of a treat when myself and my siblings went out. So maybe we were more quiet because we knew it would be a long time before another trip, out to eat, shopping, etc.
    I do look back and am glad my daughter had all the experiences she did though. Hopefully, she feels the same. 🙂

  34. December 6, 2010 12:32 pm

    Maya is such a doll. You probably don’t agree with me in scenarios like this, but my opinion stands 😉

  35. December 6, 2010 12:33 pm

    My kid doesn’t fear me either. I think we have failed in some way. My mom used to quiet me with a look. There’s nothing, not even the Fresh Beat Band, that can stop my daughter from talking.

  36. December 6, 2010 12:34 pm

    Haha, loving the outfit you bought her. And at least caving to music is not the same as caving in to worse demands. I hope the bonding ended well after that 🙂

  37. December 6, 2010 2:37 pm

    I so love this and relate to this. My girls ask for EVERYTHING at every moment of the day. Treats are not treats. They are givens. This parenting stuff? Not easy. But it helps when our little girls are so freaking cute, huh? Maya is a precious one even if she is frustrating you and making you question your parental patterns 🙂

  38. December 6, 2010 3:24 pm

    I love that she said “parched”! Growing up, my sister’s BF had a sure fire way to get whatever he wanted, he started having a meltdown in the store until his mom bought it for him (this would not have worked with my mom). At least Maya isn’t doing that and is still made happy by balloons and giant foam fingers 😉

  39. December 6, 2010 3:51 pm

    So adorable…I am afraid my love that Maya has a spirit that will flourish through pains of her beloved parents. If it helps I was such a child, I guess that does not help much…

  40. December 6, 2010 3:53 pm

    Haha! That is so funny. I know, I feel my kids get away with a lot more than I did when I was a kid (kind of).

    Your daughter looks exactly like you. So pretty 🙂

  41. December 6, 2010 4:25 pm

    I feel as though I am totally a wimpy mom compared to when I was a kid. But then again, my dad had a spanking stick hanging on the mantel, so maybe I’m not doing that bad after all. I think you are a great mom!

  42. December 6, 2010 4:30 pm

    She uses the word “parched”? Funny.

    And seriously, lady, how do you get so many comments? Your post has practically just gone up and there they are, 40+ people showering you with adoration. I’m not jealous. Not at all.

  43. December 6, 2010 8:09 pm

    And there Maya is, rockin’ her inner-diva and the bedazzled track suit. Thank god for pink balloons and foam fingers and snacks, really.

    I have to admit, I’m with girl on one point…sometimes window-shopping totally mystifies me.

  44. December 6, 2010 8:59 pm

    Um, how smart are you with the free gifts?! Awesome thinking!

  45. December 7, 2010 9:13 am

    Oh, I love the name “Maya”. She’s a doll, even if she does have a bit of sass 🙂

    Thanks for stopping by the Saucy Dipper!

  46. December 7, 2010 10:15 am

    Gosh. She is precious. I would never be able to say no to her. That is my problem…my niece and nephews are just too darn cute. They ask for toys or cake or icecream each time we get together, and they are just too adorable to turn down. Thank you so much for sharing, sweet woman. I hope you have a festive Tuesday!

  47. December 7, 2010 11:06 am

    hey, ya gotta do whatcha gotta do sometimes right. And don’t worry, I won’t tell your parents. 🙂
    LC

  48. Samantha permalink
    December 7, 2010 2:59 pm

    omg Ameena–she is sooo adorable! On the subject of no fear—I swear the high school students I teach have no limits. When I was in high school I was terrified to get in trouble—Now these kids eat my food, take stuff off of my desk, etc, etc. There is no sense of personal property and space; it drives me insane!

  49. December 7, 2010 7:22 pm

    That’s so funny! I was always scared to ask for things when I was little!

  50. December 7, 2010 7:57 pm

    Maya is so sassy! Reminds me of myself 🙂

  51. December 7, 2010 9:06 pm

    I demanded everything as a kid, from Pokemon Snap to Baskin Robbins. Now I hate to ask for things. Lol, I’m an extremist.

    Love Maya’s sassiness! She reminds me a little of my sister.

  52. December 7, 2010 9:43 pm

    Christmas is NOT the season to diet, to start a new workout regimine, to quit drinking coffee. Instead of my rules, there should be more grace. With all the stimulation, adults and kids are MORE tired and cranky which means their brains are often aroused and fried…which means more conflict and GRRRRRR-ness (Yep, I can do a guest post for ya as a pediatric psychologist here) but we still expect MORE (as if our kids or moms are suddenly going to resist touching every little button we attempt to hide under tree speckled sweaters)….when we really should plan for less, and be surprised.

    Maya is totally me….at her age, and then life happened. And now? I am re-claiming her wonder.

  53. December 8, 2010 6:54 am

    LOVE Maya’s adorable Hello Kitty outfit! If happiness isn’t a huge foam hand, what is? 😛

    I’ve been secretly filing away tidbits from your posts to prepare me for when we have kids in a few years. I will now include “Well, if you aren’t going to buy me something than I don’t want to look.” Haha, aww, poor Ameena 🙂 I guess bonding time comes in many forms, even if it does cause your blood pressure to skyrocket!

  54. December 8, 2010 7:46 am

    Daughters growing up in America are DIVAS. Actually let me correct myself, daughters nowadays (irrespective of where they grow up) are no less than divas. But she deserves it, look at her, she is so cute!!

  55. December 8, 2010 10:25 am

    Hey Ameena! I used to be so scared of my parents too. Mine were crazy though. Like really crazy…
    I have no doubt that I will have kids like Maya (if I ever have kids) b/c, well, I will probably be a pushover (to some extent at least). I have to, as I can’t risk being anything like my out of control and overly irritable parents who just didn’t know how to treat children. Yeah, I can’t let that happen (smile)…
    XO

  56. December 8, 2010 5:38 pm

    Honestly, I hope you don’t take offense in this, but you are a much better parent. Your parent’s age of commandeering the kids like they’re in the military is over. I’d rather a parent bond with their kid (and it’s not always giving in to them, because I know for a fact that you won’t give in on things that matter) than earn their fear.

    Plus, Maya is different. She’s your one and only baby, and she knows it. I think things might be a bit different if she had a younger sis or bro. 😉

  57. Ayla permalink
    December 8, 2010 6:15 pm

    Parched? Did she actually use the word PARCHED? Maya is my hero.. I don’t even think I knew that word when I was her age.

  58. December 8, 2010 7:54 pm

    Oh. My. Gosh!!! did she seriously sat parched? i’m falling out of my seat here!!! ahahaha! I can’t imagine the teenage years… enroll in a spa. stat. You’re going to earn a lot of pampering with that one =)

    xoXOxo

  59. December 8, 2010 8:36 pm

    awww… don’t be so hard on yourself! Ofcourse, I don’t have children of my own but I can only imagine how hard parenthood really is. I was discussing the same thing with my sister and she feels that children today are exposed to so many messages across media that do make them immune to discipline. They develop a mind of their own much much earlier in life, which is where I think the difference lies between us as kids and today’s children. Until I can truly relate and say something more profound – I’m sure Maya will turn out just fine 🙂

  60. Kath (Eating for Living) permalink
    December 9, 2010 4:17 am

    This is family continuity … 😉 LOL

  61. December 9, 2010 7:53 am

    Haha… “West La” like comments! I love it!

  62. December 10, 2010 8:52 pm

    I hope that you will have access to a lot of medications as she gets older. She’s a stunner and she’s gonna break some hearts.

  63. December 14, 2010 4:33 pm

    lol. Oh the things you’d do for Maya. Uncondtional love for your child? Maybe?

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