I felt like a wholesome weekend was in order after I encountered this rather scary sight:
Yes friends, it appears that “Panda Express” is a now cross-dresser. I was understandably upset. I mean, what Panda Express does on his own time is his own business but I refuse to tolerate his behavior while he’s living under my roof.
So while Panda Express enjoyed a time out and no dessert, we took Maya to The Grove for some wholesome family fun.
- We shopped (or I shopped) while Maya and Ali trailed behind, wholesomely arguing and pushing each other.
- We had lunch at Cheesecake Factory where I wholesomely swore at the fact that Maya had to go potty – numerous times – in quite possibly the dirtiest bathroom I’ve ever seen.
- We encountered not-so-wholesome Jason Alexander who once again reinforced my belief that most stars look nothing like they do on TV.
- We took photos at the conclusion of our afternoon, to commemorate our 4-hour wholesome family bonding marathon.
I was pleased that Panda Express was sufficiently repentant by the time we got home but then I encountered this even scarier sight, in the living room:
A scantily clad Fancy Nancy and Trampy Indian Barbie with a slit up the middle of her sari.
I’m about to enroll my child in a strict Catholic school. Seriously.