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I Don’t Belong Here

July 18, 2010

As is almost always the case, I am going through severe vacation withdrawal right now.  I am not really sure if this is due to the fact that Maya seems to think we are STILL on vacation and asks me, “What should I do now Mama?” every 5 seconds, or if it’s due to the fact that every time I return to Los Angeles I realize again how much I really don’t like living here.  

Blasphemous, right?  I mean, how can anyone in their right mind possibly hate Los Angeles – a city known for perfect weather and beautiful people?  Well, allow me to list just a few of the negatives of living here: 

  • Skanky girls are a dime a dozen.  I was hanging out at Coupa Cafe with my brother last night and we saw girl after girl attempting to emulate Dita Von Teese, except they were walking down Canon instead of performing at a burlesque show.  Why is it that a good half of the girls out here find it so difficult to put on clothes? 
  • The traffic bites.  Factor in an hour to go pretty much anywhere and you’ll find it is much easier to stay at home.
  • Battling the 405 Freeway is the worst part of living in Los Angeles. Source: Wikimedia Commons/Downtowngal

     

  • Parking bites even more.  It is nearly impossible to get around valet parking your car in this city  – this includes having to valet at my doctor’s office, shopping malls (unless you want to drive around aimlessly for 30 minutes), and of course 99% of the restaurants here only offer valet.  This is a HUGE problem when my husband refuses to let anyone else drive his car. 
  • There are strange/creepy people everywhere.  Just five minutes into the script analysis class I took at CBS yesterday, a guy who knew I was married with a child asked me out, and an obviously stoned lady told me she was attending the class to learn how to “spend less money.”
  • The Beverly Hills plastic surgery clichés are in full force.  In addition to having coffee next to a girl with a freshly bandaged nose, I had the pleasure of dining at Porta Via last night while listening to two ladies compare notes on surgeons as they attempted to chew and swallow without breaking their botoxed faces.  (Note: I have no problem with people getting plastic surgery if they want it, I just have a problem with the whole cliché of them sitting in Beverly Hills chatting about it like they are discussing the weather.)

I am a conservative person in a sea of liberals.  I am a brunette in a sea of blondes.  I am a slightly less shallow person in an ocean of fake people.  I was born on the East Coast and I belong on the East Coast.  Now all I need to do is convince my husband that he doesn’t belong here either so we can finally move out of this city.  

Any ideas how to do this?

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53 Comments leave one →
  1. July 18, 2010 10:05 pm

    Where would you want to live? I thought your points of displeasure were valid…especially the traffic!

    • July 19, 2010 7:01 am

      I would love to move to NYC, London, Paris, or San Francisco. I could also do Chicago, DC, or Boston as my second round of choices!

  2. July 19, 2010 3:11 am

    Oh dear. Maybe it’s just because you like being on vacation more? I know I do!!

  3. July 19, 2010 3:17 am

    You definitely have good reasons. I can’t parallel park worth crap. Is it sad that’s one of the main reasons I fear ever moving to downtown Chicago?

  4. July 19, 2010 4:21 am

    Show him some east coast blogs. 😉 so you could throw it out there like “we could live ANYWHERE over there, on that coast—insert pretty picture here!!” (I’m saying this knowing I have no idea where on the east coast you want to move.) I’m sure he knows how nice it is here though. Entice him with the beauty of public transportation? Boston has an awesome Apple store. maybe that can be of some persuasion….

  5. July 19, 2010 4:27 am

    I feel you! Well, on the traffic but not so much the plastic surgery/shallow thing. Though if I lived in LA that would totally annoy me. Living in DC I’m also a conservative in a sea of very outspoken (and often mean!) liberals. It’s hard when you don’t like where you live but need to live there for jobs!

  6. July 19, 2010 4:32 am

    I totally understand your rant – while it’s a nice place to visit, I don’t know if I’d like to live in LA. I’d loooove to life in Cali somewhere, but LA is not my cup of tea. 🙂

  7. July 19, 2010 4:38 am

    Tell him Maya got asked out by a guy who was married with a child of his own, an obviously stoned lady told Maya she was attending the class to learn how to “spend less money,” you overheard Maya talking to two ladies comparing notes on surgeons as they attempted to chew and swallow without breaking their botoxed faces and finally, Maya swore like a sailor and got ticketed for road-rage (as a passenger) on the way home from her plastic surgery consultation.

    It might change his mind a bit…either that, or tell him you heard a rumor that the newest iPhone was being released only on the East coast. I couldn’t deal with that crap either, so good luck!

  8. July 19, 2010 4:50 am

    Move to Dallas!!

    JK 😉 I’m sorry you don’t love where you live. That has to be so frustrating. I’m sure there are positives as well?? Sprinkles cupcakes rings a bell… as does 70 degree weather year round!!

  9. July 19, 2010 5:19 am

    Boy, did this post make me sad. It’s horrible when you realize you’re living somewhere you don’t belong. Can’t get as polar opposite as the shallow newness of CA to the steeped in history depth of MA. Is a move even possible (were hubby to suddenly have a desire to do so)?

    • July 19, 2010 6:50 am

      A move is possible…the main problem is that Ali HATES the cold weather and everywhere I want to move has cold weather. Nothing like a chill to put him a terrible mood!

  10. July 19, 2010 5:23 am

    I agree, move to Dallas! No, I don’t. I just said that because I think you’re awesome and it’d be cool if you lived closer. Funny how all the things you mentioned (minus the traffic) make for great stories when one visits LA but I bet it gets tiring seeing it every day. Except the Kogi taco truck. I could see that everyday. Now, I only need to find a job in LA so we can move there 🙂

  11. July 19, 2010 5:34 am

    Well, they say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but I’m not exactly sure how to appeal to their better natures/reason. If all else fails, you can throw a temper tantrum, go on strike, and refuse to do anything until you get what you want 🙂 Childish, maybe, but it might get you the results you want 😉

    I feel for you, though… I felt so out of place the last time I visited LA. I’m definitely not one of those fake, plastic girls, and to bombarded by them on all sides made me feel extremely self-conscious. People always make LA out to be some dream destination, but I really don’t see it. It’s beautiful for sure, and the weather is gorgeous, but there are a lot of other places that boast those characteristics as well, without all the other unpleasantries attached…

    Good luck with the convincing!

  12. July 19, 2010 5:39 am

    lol @ the term “bites”! Haven’t heard that in forev!!
    I love the person’s comment above, about replacing everything that happened to you with saying it happened to Maya!
    Wait until Ali is away on business and move yourself and Maya to the East coast. Leave a trail of breadcrumbs for when he returns…

  13. Jessica permalink
    July 19, 2010 6:05 am

    Being from the South (and have never stepped foot near California), I’ve often wondered what it’s like to live there. I imagine a super busy town, with a ton of people who are bleached blonde and big boobed.

  14. July 19, 2010 6:27 am

    What would be your dream city in which to live?

    • July 19, 2010 7:04 am

      If I could pick just one I’d say NYC, but as I mentioned above I could do Paris, London, Boston, DC, and San Francisco too.

  15. highonhealthy permalink
    July 19, 2010 6:33 am

    All of that would piss me off too and I have no idea how you do it! I have a hard enough time driving in Vancouver, the idea of trying to drive in LA scares me senseless. The best way to move would be to bribe Ali with multiple items of technology.. or steal his iphone and tell him you heard someone found it over on the East Coast?

  16. July 19, 2010 6:38 am

    I live in so ca, I only like to visit LA!

  17. July 19, 2010 7:14 am

    stop hanging out in 90210 and come hang out with me in larchmont!!!

  18. July 19, 2010 7:45 am

    Would you consider moving to a different part of the city? I don’t think you would like the East Coast as much as you think b/c both of your families live in CA, right? I have always been interested in moving to the West Coast, but when push comes to shove, I never do b/c all of my family lives on the East Coast!

    • July 19, 2010 1:05 pm

      I wouldn’t mind San Francisco but otherwise, there really is no other place in California that I could live. I can’t do the suburbs! And I’d move somewhere even if we had no family there…our family could come visit us anytime. 🙂

  19. July 19, 2010 7:55 am

    How about a different city in Cali? LA sounds like a tough city to live in. I’ve driven in the traffic and been there for different reasons and not found it too pleasant. Maybe further South in San Diego?

  20. July 19, 2010 8:22 am

    I do get a very East Coast vibe from you. I think I’m more of an East Coast girl, but the weather is what keeps me here. If you’re serious, then make Ali create a list of reasons why he does NOT want to move, then come up with good rebuttals 😉
    Or move to Orange County or San Diego. I don’t think it’s as bad as L.A. I hate L.A.

  21. July 19, 2010 8:39 am

    I am lucky in that Keith moved to me…I don’t think I could have handled it the other way around. What brought you to LA in the first place?

    • July 19, 2010 6:27 pm

      My parents hated the cold weather on the East Coast and brought us here! How ironic that I want to move back, huh?

  22. July 19, 2010 8:55 am

    You know, I’ve yet to meet a married couple who are both satisfied with where they’re living. There’s always one unhappy person or two unhappy people. It’s rare to come accross a couple who are truly happy where they’re living. Gary and I have been contemplating the same issue as well for the past 2 years. He’s like Ali, hates the cold. He’s been wanting to move to somewhere warmer like Vancouver or even the States. Factor in kids, and things get double complicated. I guess if we want to move, it’ll have to be soon before K starts to make “bestfriends”.

    I can totally see your arguements. LA would actually be a top place on my list to move to but I know it’s QUITE different than Canadian living. It may seem like a great place to live in on the surface, but after you’ve lived there for so long you start to get bored and start seeing the bad. But that goes with all places, not just LA. Maybe you just have to take Ali to those places where you want to move to more. Show him why you really love it there, or why you really dislike LA. Gary finally convinced me to consider moving by constantly telling me how much he hated Edmonton. It was annoying, but I have to admit it worked. I don’t want him to be miserable so I’m considering moving to a place where we can both agree on. After all, marriage is a team effort right? I really hope you and Ali will find a place where you’re both happy too. Until then, we’ll just have to play this annoying game together. Haha.

  23. July 19, 2010 9:14 am

    i think thats both brave and incredible of you for going against the grain and admitting to what u dont like about LA. im pretty sure most people outside of the city just think “oh palm trees, celebrities, weather, and shopping!!” but anyone whos been there for quite some time will admit to LA being so much more than that! in terms of creepers, we have so many strange characters here too. since Victoria is secluded on its own island, not only do they crazies flock here, they STAY here, as if the boat dropped them off at their final destination. I cant wait to get off this island and move to California, but I know now, that LA isnt the place for me, at least i dont think so. And traffic sucks, any place with lots of traffic isnt a great place to be unless ur a rare few that loves that kind of thing. lol. oh well, hopefully the vacation-lag wears off, otherwise u may just have to hop a plane and journey somewhere else 😛

    xoxo ❤

  24. July 19, 2010 9:41 am

    COME TO DC!!!!!! That would be great if you move here 🙂

    Marin and Maya would be best buds 🙂

  25. July 19, 2010 10:04 am

    Come to Atlanta!! It is very diverse in the suburbs – great balance of people – and so friendly!! 🙂 And yes, the traffic… well Atlanta’s traffic can be horrendous too… BUT when I visited my aunt in LA it was Atlanta traffic times 100.

  26. July 19, 2010 11:37 am

    Aaah…the drama of 405 traffic. Sorry to hear that..btw would you consider moving down to OC or San Diego? SD weather is always not too cold nor too hot, I heard.

  27. July 19, 2010 12:45 pm

    Okay, I agree with you that traffic SUCKS in LA. I hate that the most. But honestly, I HATE living in the East Coast. The weather sucks. I hate how when it rains, it rains non-stop for the whole day, I hate how extreme the temperatures get, I hate how uptight and selfish and overly ambitious people are here, and I hate the traffic here, too.

    If I had to choose, I would live in Canada. Or SF.

  28. July 19, 2010 1:15 pm

    As much as I like california, those are all the reasons why I could not move there. Ok, I would consider San Diego or San Francisco. Not sure how to get your husband to move, but you could always do some job searching for him. Other than maybe it is wrong to go behind his back, you can send out his resume. 🙂

  29. July 19, 2010 2:29 pm

    I feel you. Andy and I have been saying for years that we don’t belong in LA. To be fair, we live in Ventura County in a suburb and not really LA but still. It’s too close for comfort. I would love to move to the east coast.

  30. July 19, 2010 3:39 pm

    I have never been to LA, but at the same time, I’ve never had ANY DESIRE to go. That whole materialistic looks based city doesn’t appeal to me.

  31. July 19, 2010 5:31 pm

    Hey Ameena, I originally found your blog through LeQuan, and I thought I’d visit again to see what your’e up to lately.
    You know, I live in Florida. Half of the things you listed are regular things here too, and we are shocked by them. For example, I’ll be at the store and see some little 12 or 13 year old girl with bootie shorts on with flip flops and a tight, low cut shirt-almost naked. I’ll gasp in horror and think something like ‘if her mother only knew what she was wearing right now’. Then, sure enough, Mom walks up to the scene wearing the same type of outfit. It’s something I’ll never understand. I guess I just feel that women are precious and that our bodies are not for everyone to see. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but it’s how I feel and I’m regularly shocked at the world around me.
    My Mom is religious and says the apocalypse is upon us. I always brush her off, but maybe I should be listening (smile).

    Anyway, your’e not alone in feeling this way. Hope your’e able to move to a more ‘wholesome’ place some day soon. Me too!

  32. Anjum permalink
    July 19, 2010 6:21 pm

    I understand what you mean about L.A. I want to escape too. Quickly. Very, very quickly.

  33. July 19, 2010 6:31 pm

    Miami is the same way! Don’t go there!

  34. July 19, 2010 7:49 pm

    Ameena, I’m sorry that you are so unhappy in L.A! When I first read that you lived there, I thought to myself, “oh that’s so cool” but then when I think about it, I know that I could never be happy there either. I’ve been there once in my life for a few days, and it was fun for a while, but I can’t imagine being there long term…for a lot of the reasons you mentioned above. BUT I just want to point out that strange/creepy people are everywhere…I’ve definitely met plenty of those in Toronto.
    I actually love Toronto for all it has to offer, and I think in some ways it is easier to be Canadian (and in other ways it’s not…) but I also hate the cold and I would move to California if I could. I wouldn’t move to L.A but San Diego is like a dream place to live for me…I’ve also looked into Sacramento and a few other cities. San Francisco is a lot colder, but it looks like an amazing city and at least it doesn’t snow like it does here.
    I hope you get your wish one day, and you can move! I know how hard it is to feel like you don’t belong somewhere.

  35. Michelle permalink
    July 19, 2010 9:40 pm

    That’s actually really funny. I’ve only been to LA once and I was about 8 so I don’t really remember it. However, I have quite a few friends from they area and they always laugh and say that everywhere else is “very different” from LA

  36. July 20, 2010 2:43 am

    No offense to your city, but I’m not the biggest fan of LA either. San Diego and San Francisco…those I can handle. Basically for all the reasons you mentioned above. Plus the fact that when my friends and I were in LA over spring break a few years ago, we got rear-ended at a red light. Thoroughly unpleasant.

  37. July 20, 2010 8:25 am

    I don’t think I’ll ever live where I feel perfect…unless I can get myself to the mountains or a tranquil lake.

    I could totally see you in Paris, you’re so chic!

    I better get my butt back up your way before I have another NY blogging buddy. haha

    once our teenager has graduated, we might move. The Moon has nice views I’ve heard! Plus there’s water now! yeah!

    xoxox

  38. July 20, 2010 9:22 am

    My friend has lived in LA for the past five years and I feel like this post could have been based off of my conversations with her!

  39. July 20, 2010 11:29 am

    I live in LA (Redondo Beach) for 2 years and felt like a fish out of water. While it was great to look at the ocean every day, I felt fat, blah, not-glam, etc etc. I think I learned new curse words by sitting on the 405 one too many times as well. Ugh..LA is no fun to live in. I live near SF now 😉

  40. July 20, 2010 11:39 am

    I have to say, I think that bearing the worst of Canadian urban traffic probably pales in comparison with the US. You know, speaking of scantily clad ladies, my husband tells me that he never saw more skin than when he was teaching some Paelo/Geology classes. Apparently lab stools and low rise jeans don’t mix so well.
    As for fitting in, I am like a sore-thumb liberal in a sea of conservatism. Let’s switch spots!

  41. Leah @ Why Deprive? permalink
    July 20, 2010 7:52 pm

    I know exactly what you mean! Thats why I dont live downtown, I just couldnt do it. I like being just a little outside of the city, that way I can go there when I want to, but I dont have to stay.

  42. July 20, 2010 7:54 pm

    Wow. I would be out of my element there too!

    At least it is entertaining – in a sad kinda way.

    I like chewing my food – with REALLY big bites the kind that would bust the botox straight out of my face. lol

  43. July 21, 2010 7:06 pm

    Above all, remember, you are a beautiful and authentic person. Stay true to who you are and tell your husband you are unhappy! Happiness is so crucial, and I think to many of us ‘forgo’ what truly makes us happy- in pursuit of what society thinks would make us happy. I can see your thriving on the East Coast! I’m sure your family will be happy there too!
    Barbara

  44. July 22, 2010 2:17 pm

    My daughter and son-in-law moved to Boston from CA three years ago. They love it. And I love visiting! Beautiful city and beautiful area. The snow hasn’t bothered them too much. There is some scraping of the windshields and shoveling, but overall they they haven’t minded. Last year was a “light winter”. 🙂 The spring and fall are so pretty.

  45. July 25, 2010 5:53 pm

    One of the many reasons I don’t live on the westside of the 405. You need to go east towards Glendale or Pasadena. 😉 It’s a little more subdued. I say a “little”

    Though, if I could I’d live in Paris, France.

  46. July 26, 2010 1:07 pm

    looks like i have to defend lil ole LA! okay okay, i’ll admit that you are spot-on with everything you said BUT totally cool people like you and i live here. so not everyone can be all that bad, right?? and we do have great weather (well, except the last two months). at least the palm trees are pretty??? i secretly love it all 🙂

  47. July 31, 2010 10:48 pm

    When I lived in Pasadena, I HATED flying back into LAX and driving home. Of course, there are always silver linings, but I really think you should be okay with NOT loving some of these things. The only thing that makes it worthwhile is your “community” do you have friends that you love? Things I miss about the area now that I live in Germany:
    The Rose Bowl, I used to walk/jog there 4 times a week
    My local coffee shop
    Sunny Flip flop weather 10 months of the year
    My wonderful neighbors

  48. August 1, 2010 10:22 pm

    I’m pretty new to your blog, and I just wanted to say I can SOOOO relate to your dislike of living in Los Angeles! I’ve lived here for over 3 years now, and it’s NOT really growing on me!

    Let me know if you figure out the secret for convincing your husband to move! 😉

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