A Few Good Friends
One of my many, many flaws is that I expect a lot from people. I have high expectations of Ali, Maya, my family, my friends, and even our usual Trader Joe’s cashier, who hasn’t let me down yet. Although he did come rather close last week when he told Maya he was out of free stickers. Lucky for him he found a secret stash just in time to avoid my blacklist.
I justify my high expectations by the fact that I give a lot of myself. For example, if anyone was in need of a kidney right now and I was a perfect match, I would give it to them without hesitation. I am not stating this fact to get kudos, but to explain that I would expect the same of someone else, especially if they were a friend or a family member. And if they didn’t come through for me? Well to me that kind of disappointment is hard for me to swallow.
So I shouldn’t be surprised that I don’t have many friends, right? I mean, who wants to feel obligated to give up their kidney? It is a lot to expect of someone, but no matter how much I try I can’t help but to expect it! And more often than not I am disappointed. Which leads me to wonder if I would even want to be friends with me?
In addition to having a spare kidney, other characteristics I look for in a friend include loyalty, kindness, timeliness, and general consideration. Kidney aside, I don’t really think my list of requirements is that unreasonable. But apparently these qualities are difficult to find in real-life.
After dwelling on being disappointed by yet another friend recently, I came to the realization that “real-life friends” are not the end-all, be-all. I mean, why do I need dozens of average people in my life when I have dozens of great friends who just happen to be “virtual?”
Or Amy who came up a response that had me laughing for about 10 minutes straight:
Or Kim, who, incidentally, I have met and is a great friend on and offline. She reassured me, as she often does, that I am not a horrible person for having just one kid. Or for killing my basil plant:
Thank you all for being some of the nicest people I have ever “met,” and for being good friends. I hope that one of these days we will all get an opportunity to meet up.
Assuming I haven’t scared you all off with the kidney thing, of course!