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the most ridiculous post ever

October 9, 2013

I didn’t get too much done this past week.

This was mostly because I was preoccupied with important things like tracking where a certain someone’s red swimming trunks might turn up next.

Love Instagram...makes all flaws 10 X better.

Love Instagram…makes all flaws 10 X better.

  • Sunday: Ali and Maya go swimming. Clean red swimming trunks make their way from Ali’s closet to the pool. Upon his return they are relegated to the hallway floor.
  • Monday: Wet red swimming trunks remain on the hallway floor.
  • Tuesday: Housekeeper comes, picks up damp red swimming trunks. Cleans the hallway floor. Puts damp red swimming trunks back on the hallway floor.
In between the swimming trunk tracking we lunched at Gramercy Tavern. So overrated it was kind of absurd.

In between tracking swimming trunks we lunched at Gramercy Tavern. This restaurant is so overrated…it was kind of absurd.

  • Wednesday: Damp red swimming trunks get moved to the bathroom tub. This is only because I said, “Is there any particular reason why your swimming stuff is sitting by the front door? It’s been 3 days.”
  • Thursday: Red swimming trunks are finally dry and can now be put in the hamper! But then Ali takes a shower and the swimming trunks get wet again. Back to square one.
  • Friday: Damp red swimming trunks turn up in a corner of the bedroom that I rarely frequent. This is because this particular corner is slightly out of my line of vision and thus serves as a dumping ground for things Ali doesn’t know what to do with. Like his damp red swimming trunks.
The sky before and after an amazing storm. I'm from California so these things fascinate me.

The sky before and after an amazing storm. I’m from California so these things fascinate me.

On Saturday a mostly dry pair of red swimming trunks turn up under my nightstand. I understandably lose my @#$#.

  • Me: “Why are your swimming trunks under my nightstand?”
  • Ali: “Because they’re slowly making their way across the room. That’s why.”

So many questions. So little time.

Mostly I’m just fascinated that Ali said the above with complete conviction and a straight face.  Fascinated.

69 Comments leave one →
  1. October 9, 2013 2:05 am

    Who’s idea was it for them trunks to in colour Red? In my short lifetime I have never seen a male wearing red trunks, and I go swimming once a week and in summer twice a week. Now it’s fascinating me.

    • October 9, 2013 5:36 pm

      Red trunks seem common here…people wear LOTS of color. The UK is bit less daring I think….which is why I fit in there much better!

  2. October 9, 2013 2:09 am

    Fascinating indeed. Only you could make the tale of a swimsuit’s journeys so readable. Well played.

  3. October 9, 2013 4:14 am

    HAHA! I love his line of logic. I find all kinds of random things on Vishnu’s side of the bed when I vacuum on the weekends. I never have a reason to venture to “his side” of the room, so I have no clue as to what I’ll find. Then when I ask him why he can’t just throw his clothes in the hamper, I get a blank stare. Give me a few more years and I think I’m going to give up!

    • October 9, 2013 5:37 pm

      Oddly enough the hamper was closer to the hallway than the corner of the room that’s out of my vision. There really is no rhyme or reason….

  4. October 9, 2013 4:38 am

    I wonder where he thinks they will ultimately end up!!

    • October 9, 2013 5:38 pm

      He likely figured I’d have picked them up on Monday…not sure he thought that far ahead!

  5. seana permalink
    October 9, 2013 5:15 am

    Sounds like he likes to egg you on 🙂 My husband used to leave his wet towels on the bed. I started putting them under his pillow.. It actually worked. We have the same problem with swimsuits. He’ll come in from the pool into the kitchen and leave them on the kitchen floor. It must be a guy thing? At last I don’t have to deal with that til next summer as our pool has been closed for the season.

    • October 9, 2013 5:38 pm

      Under his pillow! So funny. If I did that Ali would just throw them off. He probably wouldn’t even bat an eye!

      Indoor pools…they are a blessing and a curse. 🙂

  6. October 9, 2013 6:25 am

    Oh my gawd… I’m glad you lost your @#$# when you did. What if the trunks were making their way to you… on the bed… while you’re sleeping :-S Its like a mini horror story, haha

    • Amelia Grace - permalink
      October 9, 2013 9:27 am

      Hahahah 🙂

    • October 9, 2013 5:39 pm

      At the risk of being dramatic, these shorts ARE a horror story!!

      So funny…

  7. October 9, 2013 7:08 am

    bah! it’s like he wants the blog attention.=)

    i’ve been taking pictures of the sky too. i’m near philadelphia, and we’ve also been having some crazy storms and sunsets.

    • October 9, 2013 5:40 pm

      Good point. I wonder if he does things so I’ll blog about them? Never thought of that!

      Never been to Philadelphia either. Hope to do that soon!

  8. October 9, 2013 7:12 am

    ALI!!! I think you should just put them outside and leave them there. I also love how the housekeeper just put them back on the floor. My dad and step-mom’s housekeeper would have put them in a room they don’t belong, though, so perhaps leaving them there is better. Also, LOVE the New York pictures. I think the NYC life is suiting you well.

    • October 9, 2013 5:40 pm

      We have no outside…we live in high-rise. Although technically I could throw them outside? LOL

  9. Lydia permalink
    October 9, 2013 7:45 am

    Hahaha… OMG! Ali, never a dull moment!!! 🙂 well.. at least that red swimming trunk under your nightstand is not wet…
    I love those storm pics you captured! Winter is coming Ameena, hopefully it will go easy on us here in NY.

    • October 9, 2013 5:41 pm

      Crossing my fingers that winter takes it easy on us too! It’s going to be interesting, that’s for sure.

  10. October 9, 2013 8:46 am

    I have this exact. same. thought process where my husband is concerned. And it drives me nuts!!! Why can’t they just put their crap away???? So frustrating. I’d have lost it sooner then you.

    • October 9, 2013 5:41 pm

      I feel like I post about this all the time but yes, why can’t they just put their crap away!!

  11. October 9, 2013 8:58 am

    I would first talk to the housekeeper about why they returned to the floor but as I had that thought it occurred to me maybe “by the front” door is a good place for the next swim outline although I know that will not fly in the house of Ameena.

    • October 9, 2013 5:42 pm

      Not much will fly in the House of Ameena. Love that you wrote that Lauren. LOL

  12. October 9, 2013 9:29 am

    Sounds like a Seinfeld episode! I hope the trunks made it to the draw where they belong.

    • October 9, 2013 5:42 pm

      They will eventually…because I’ll put them there. Of course!

  13. October 9, 2013 9:30 am

    ahahhahahhaha that joke was totally on you. Also Instagram is like the opposite of a high def camera. It’s pretty much my favorite.

    • October 9, 2013 5:42 pm

      Love Instagram. It does amazing things! I need a filter 24/7.

  14. October 9, 2013 9:58 am

    oooohh new york in the fall is just lovely you cali girl! enjoy x

    • October 9, 2013 5:43 pm

      So far it’s great. Not too chilly, not too rainy!

  15. October 9, 2013 10:06 am

    This is such a well written post! Thoroughly enjoyed reading this 🙂

  16. October 9, 2013 10:10 am

    You made me smile 🙂

  17. October 9, 2013 10:57 am

    Men. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

    I am also fascinated by the storm, although it would be little frightening for my CA living self to see in person. Glad you’re loving NYC, I am hoping to move in two years.

    • October 9, 2013 5:43 pm

      Two years? For school?

      Hope I’ll still be here so we can meet up. 🙂

  18. October 9, 2013 11:44 am

    hahah i bet you fell for his humor first!

    • October 9, 2013 5:44 pm

      His humor? Ali’s humor is usually indirect. Which I guess makes it even funnier!

  19. October 9, 2013 12:23 pm

    I don’t know if it is a man thing or is Ali testing how far he can go with ” getting away with it “!

    • October 9, 2013 5:51 pm

      I’m really not sure either…but I never stop wondering!

  20. October 9, 2013 1:17 pm

    I’ve come to realize, marriage was made for a man, not for a woman. I think women will do perfectly fine without a man. I don’t know how you handled the trunk being by the door 3 days… it’s like that episode of Raymond and the suitcases. You’re really patient, Ameena.

    • October 9, 2013 5:51 pm

      Well said…it’s made for a man for sure.

      But me patient? That’s pretty much never used near my name. LOL

  21. October 9, 2013 3:13 pm

    Hahhhaha That’s the best thing I have read all day!

    • October 9, 2013 5:52 pm

      Thanks Tanvii! I appreciate the compliment and you reading. 🙂

  22. Tands permalink
    October 9, 2013 4:21 pm

    I literally screamed aloud when I read that the housekeeper placed the trunks back in the hallway. Honestly, I would have lost my #$%& a lot quicker than you. I cannot stand wet clothes sitting about. I just can’t deal with it.

    • October 9, 2013 5:52 pm

      Isn’t it just wrong? I mean the wet factor makes it seem like mold / bacteria is growing and multiplying at record rates.

      Or maybe I just have a whole lot of mental problems?

  23. October 9, 2013 6:05 pm

    Oh too funny! Thank goodness they are a pair of red swimming shorts and not a dead rodent….I can just see the same story panning out with a dead mouse….sorry! perhaps too much wine tonight. You are always a joy Ameena! You must email me when you’re in D.C. and I will when I’m in NYC.

    chow! Devaki @ weavethousandflavors

    • October 12, 2013 4:30 pm

      A dead mouse! My worst nightmare. I don’t like rodents…

      I would love to visit you in DC! So many good restaurants there…

  24. October 9, 2013 7:59 pm

    So many questions, so little time. Lol. Love that moody sky over there. I can just imagine they are getting all moldy, ewww.

    • October 12, 2013 4:30 pm

      I dislike mold about as much as rodents (my reply above). Gross!

  25. October 10, 2013 12:28 am

    Men: someone needs to write us an instruction book.

  26. October 10, 2013 10:23 am

    Laughing so hard 🙂

  27. willgoh2 permalink
    October 10, 2013 1:39 pm

    Next day: Red swimming trunks are mysteriously tied tightly around Ali’s neck.

  28. October 10, 2013 3:49 pm

    ROFL! Especially to willgoh2’s comment! Well red swimming trunks or not I think Ali has you all figured out! And those images of storm make me wish there was something called a Rainy season out here!

    • October 12, 2013 4:37 pm

      Ali knows how to drive me crazy so in that way yes, he has figured me out! 🙂

  29. October 10, 2013 9:05 pm

    My Goodness, I cannot even imagine what my Mother would do, if my brothers swimming Trunks ended up on our floor, No they know better and I think they want to live, so they will never do that. I find this very amusing and you are high achiever Dear Ameena and very disciplined, your regular posts are a testimony to this. I think you did very well in the week. Blessed be. xx Wishing you and your beautiful Family a Very beautiful Eid in New York:)

    • October 12, 2013 4:38 pm

      Eid snuck up on me! Thank you for the reminder Maha and an Eid Mubarak to you as well!

  30. October 10, 2013 10:47 pm

    hahaa! We have the same “corner” in our bedroom too and the strangest things find their way there. I think you did good with the temper. I would’ve blown it the first day.

    • October 12, 2013 4:39 pm

      Sorry you have the same corner in your room! I wouldn’t wish that “corner” on anyone/

  31. October 11, 2013 6:45 am

    I think that’s as goof an explanation as any!

    • October 12, 2013 4:39 pm

      Maybe it’s one of those super obvious things…that we are all missing??

  32. October 13, 2013 8:21 pm

    Wow. The New York skyline is AMAZING.

    I wonder if these swimming trunks even need to be washed now with all the water it has been exposed too. :P!

  33. glamorous glutton permalink
    October 15, 2013 3:15 pm

    I’m more astounded that the housekeeper cleaned the floor and put them back!! I think I’d just ban swimming ; ) GG

  34. October 16, 2013 7:21 pm

    Hilarious! Love the way you write.
    I am also a little surprised that the housekeeper just kept the trunks right there on the floor.

    • October 17, 2013 3:17 am

      Yes, me too. Very strange. But she also doesn’t empty the dishwasher so I’m not really sure about her….

  35. October 20, 2013 10:21 am

    I’m still thinkin’ how nice it would be to have a freaking housekeeper.

    Ahhhh, the life of Ameena.

    I WANT! Xxx

  36. October 28, 2013 8:48 pm

    I’m very sure it’s a universal problem. We can all sympathize, my friend 🙂

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