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a definition

September 25, 2013

Are you also afflicted by Running Commentary?

definition

Example : A husband leaves his plate in the spotlessly clean kitchen after dinner.

  • A Normal Person’s Reaction : I’ll just put this last dish in the dishwasher before I sit down.
  • A Person Suffering from Running Commentary : Well allow me. No, really. I’m not tired at all! But thank you for being concerned. I mean, despite the kitchen being spotless, I’ll just put this plate in the dishwasher too. Because while I’ve cleaned the kitchen three times already today, it’s really NO problem to move your plate. Really.
Dinner at Bice. Food was just okay, but the best part was that I didn't have to move a single dish.

Dinner at Bice. Food was just okay, but the best part was that I didn’t have to move a single dish.

Example : An 8-year-old asks one too many ridiculous questions including (but not limited to), “Mama…which socks should I wear today?”

  • A Normal Person’s Reaction : “Just wear the pink ones.”
  • A Person Suffering from Running Commentary : She has at least 40 pairs of socks in her drawer. No joke. 40. Pairs. Of. Socks. How hard is it to choose a pair? I mean, is the day going to go any differently if she picks white over pink? I wish I had the same problem. I literally have 2 pairs of socks and one has a hole. Note to self: Must stop buying socks at Target.
Lobster Salad @ Bice (I don't recommend it), Lunch @ Greek Kitchen, Homemade Biscotti(!), Shrimp @ Serafina

Lobster Salad @ Bice (I don’t recommend it), Lunch @ Greek Kitchen, Homemade Biscotti(!), Shrimp @ Serafina

Example : A family of four obliviously walking their dog (all in a row) on Columbus.

  • A Normal Person’s Reaction : Hmmm. I wonder why they are walking so slowly? They must be on vacation.
  • A Person Suffering from Running Commentary : Maybe I can get around them on the left. No, that didn’t work. Maybe the right? Nope! So confused. Do they not see all of these people trying to get around them? Are they immune to the glares as people pass by? How can they walk four in a row on a busy street like Columbus? I mean it’s not like it’s Sunday. Not that Sunday is an excuse either!
The view I wake up to.

I might have to move dishes, but at least I’m doing it in this fabulous city.

Treatment for Running Commentary : A cure has not been identified for this genetic disorder. Treatment is also limited. Experts suggest that those afflicted take deep breaths and try to ignore. And when all else fails, seek the help of a professional.

(Which I obviously need to do…)

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76 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2013 12:15 am

    Do you also suffer from Fake Sarcastic Dialogue? For example (when husband appears to be deaf) “Did you have a good day, dear?” “Yes, thank you I did, how lovely of you to remember…” “What did you guys get up to?” – continuing until a response is elicited…

    • September 25, 2013 1:53 pm

      I am very much afflicted with Fake Sarcastic Dialogue. Unfortunately.

      I obviously have more afflictions than a normal person…

  2. September 25, 2013 3:45 am

    Oh yes, I definitely have a constant running commentary :P, its a very sarcastic one at that. But my running commentary is kind of awesome and makes me laugh, I wouldn’t want to be without it.
    *kisses* H
    p.s. did you actually make your own biscotti???

    • September 25, 2013 1:54 pm

      I actually did! It was sort of a remarkable day for me because something in my kitchen turned out well!

  3. September 25, 2013 3:47 am

    This is totally me! Although sometimes my commentary emerges from the mind and becomes actual spoken words – oops. Driving is a common scenario: “Why is he driving so slowly on the left? Someone driving that slow should be in the right lane. Are they texting??” And so on.

    • September 25, 2013 1:54 pm

      Driving used to bring out the worst in me. Since moving to NY and giving up my car I seem to be having difficulty being a good person as a I walk instead!

  4. September 25, 2013 4:30 am

    🙂

  5. September 25, 2013 5:11 am

    [insert something about breathing and counting to ten and then realising it is a waste of time here]

    The running commentary in your head keeps you from losing your rag out loud. I say stick with it, sista.

    And yes, I *did* just call you sista.

    • Laurie McGuire permalink
      September 25, 2013 7:42 am

      yep, I agree. It is your subconscious telling what ought to be when no one else seems to know. It keeps you from losing your head out loud!!!

    • September 25, 2013 1:55 pm

      This is a good point Razwana and Laurie. So I guess I should just appreciate the fact that I am not saying these things out loud? Most of the time anyway?

  6. September 25, 2013 5:36 am

    ha! take deep breaths, they say it helps. i still have to try it. my husband calls me kelli questions bc he’ll get : what’s this dish doing here? are these socks on the coffee table for a reason? did something happen to your legs and you’re not able to walk your jacket to the closet? are you saving this toothpick to use again later? yeah, i’m a real pleasure to live with too. (ha, and so’s he!=)

    • September 25, 2013 1:56 pm

      I have a lot of Kelli questions. A lot of them!

      And the reusable toothpick? Must be an epidemic that spans both coasts. So gross.

  7. September 25, 2013 5:43 am

    thats me! and the plate – drives me INSAAAAANE!!!! why can’t these men just put the damn plate in the dishwasher.. my running commentary goes something like ” yeah sure, leave it there for me, coz you are the king of somewhere, and ofcourse you have people to take care of everything. And those people are me! I have to find a way to make my point. Oh my life is hell. How did I get so domesticated that I care about dishes. I’ve ruined my life. What am I even doing here. I was meant for other (greater!!:)) things. Now I’m stuck doing dishes. I have to change that. I’m NOT going to clean anymore. They can live in a mess and then clean up themselves” and then my chain of thought is broken by something else I have to clean! This cleaning habit is so ingrained its become second nature.
    And why oh why do people walk slowly in NYC – this place is not for leisurely walks……

    • September 25, 2013 2:05 pm

      “the king of somewhere…” my God that was so funny.

      I don’t care about dishes actually, I just care about everything being spotless AT ALL TIMES. I do hate most things domestic though…I’m with you on that.

      Slow walkers…I am NOT one of them. Always in a rush. Always.

  8. September 25, 2013 5:59 am

    OMG I was laughing all the way through this post! All the while thinking this so me! While the hubby is good in the kitchen by washing up after meals its the other things like the Iron has little legs it will walk back to its designated place, the ironing board has magical powers will close itself as soon on. But the one that gets to me is bad drivers and people walking too slowly or like you said in a row on busy London streets. I am screaming in my head!

    • September 25, 2013 2:06 pm

      So wait…does he actually use the ironing board? Because that right there? Amazes me.

      • September 26, 2013 6:21 am

        Yep he does! Isn’t it amazing?? He thinks I am being ridiculous taking pictures of him ironing! But sometimes I don’t believe my eyes so I look back at the pics!

  9. September 25, 2013 6:05 am

    Without your running commentary, your readers would not be delighted and amused. It’s a good thing!

  10. Lydia permalink
    September 25, 2013 6:31 am

    Hahaha… it sounds like I have this very same disorder and also in need of treatment. Let me know when/if you have the remedy. And glares are not going to do anything to that family blocking everyone else by walking in a row like, just say “excuse me” and walk right in the middle of/pass through them. Ha!

    • September 25, 2013 2:07 pm

      They seemed impossible to walk through, if that makes any sense. Or maybe I was too timid?

      Maybe I need to work on that now that I’m a larger city!

  11. Taking On Magazines permalink
    September 25, 2013 6:51 am

    Yeah, I suffer the same affliction and some of the same issues (not the dog one though). Heck, we don’t even have sidewalks. 🙂 Your biscotti does look fantastic. Seeing the photo made me smile.

    • September 25, 2013 5:32 pm

      No sidewalks? I am intrigued!

      And your biscotti recipe was fantastic. Thanks again.

  12. seana permalink
    September 25, 2013 7:18 am

    Don’t even talk to me about putting dishes in the dishwasher. If I am lucky enough, my husband seems to sometimes put them in. However, he doesn’t put them in straight. So I have to rearrange the dirty dishes in the dishwasher before I run it. Then I have to wash my hands after touching said dirty dishes. 40 pairs of socks? I would remove some of them and store them away so she won’t have to make such tough decisions 🙂 As for therapy, I think this is an incurable disease. Xanax may help though. .

    • September 25, 2013 5:33 pm

      I am very particular about the dishwasher as well. It must be loaded in the right way in order to maximize space!

      I need to look into Xanax. Oh, and I wash my hands too much too….

  13. September 25, 2013 8:04 am

    This. is. awesome! I do this every day when I’m walking home for lunch. Why can’t people move to the right when someone is walking towards them?!?! And don’t even get me started on groups of people!

    • September 25, 2013 5:34 pm

      You can walk home for lunch? What a nice option!

      I’d overlook slow people if I could do that. 🙂

  14. Muugii permalink
    September 25, 2013 8:43 am

    This is sooo me :). …having socks with the hole :))). I love your blog. I always can’t wait to read your blog.

    • September 25, 2013 5:34 pm

      So nice of you to say Muugii…thank you for reading! And commenting. 🙂

  15. September 25, 2013 11:09 am

    lol – you are not alone in this. I do have a severe case of running commentary too. I am constantly amused by people and people walking in rows- argh!!!!!

    • September 25, 2013 5:35 pm

      At least where you live in TX everything is big…there must be enough space to walk 10 in a row!

      Although I haven’t been to TX so this might be a total misnomer?

  16. September 25, 2013 1:20 pm

    Some of that running commentary sounds very familiar! And the thing is; it takes so much more energy and emotional stress to have that commentary then to just deal and move on. Let’s both work on it.

    • September 25, 2013 5:35 pm

      I’m constantly working on it…just haven’t seen too many results. 😦

  17. September 25, 2013 1:47 pm

    Yup… many times people walk soooooo painfully slow and it’s rush hour, it’s frustrating, but then my commentary in my mind is… “hey, at least you’re healthy, it could be a lot worse.” Then I calm down. And I don’t know what’s worse… leaving a unwashed dish in a clean sink or rinsing your plate and leaving it in the sink. my husband rinses his plates and all and leaves them in the sink. He acts like he’s doing me a favor. I relate.

    OMG… you went to Greek Kitchen… for someone who has been obsessed with Greece, I haven’t been there and it’s the closest restaurant to my work.
    I have to go soon. Did you like it? IF so, maybe we can go there too next to next time.
    🙂

    • September 25, 2013 5:37 pm

      I wouldn’t say Greek Kitchen is a dining destination but it’s still pretty good. The rice is fantastic, the shrimp is good, Ali loved his chicken.

      I think it’s more geared to meat eaters than fish eaters but I’ll definitely give it another try!

      Sometimes, when Ali really wants to be “helpful” he rinses his place and leaves it ON the counter. So then the counter gets wet and I have to dry that on top of everything else….

  18. glamorous glutton permalink
    September 25, 2013 1:58 pm

    That’s all so me, I’d always thought I was being petty. I’m obviously just being normal! GG

    • September 25, 2013 5:37 pm

      Petty…normal. There’s such a fine line. 🙂

  19. September 25, 2013 4:07 pm

    Hi! I can only imagine this in real life…

  20. September 25, 2013 5:07 pm

    you sound like a true newyorker already in the third scenario ! lol

    • September 25, 2013 5:38 pm

      I was like this in LA…unfortunately! I’m always in a rush. Even when it’s not necessary to be in a rush!

  21. Andrea @ The Skinny Chronicles permalink
    September 25, 2013 7:51 pm

    My husband also manages to leave his dish on the table after every meal. Pisses me off. Running commentary has too many cuss words to type here. I leave the dish on the table until it rots and start the dishwasher without it. Sometimes you just have to draw the line.

    • September 29, 2013 4:33 am

      Does he ever move it? The dish? Or does it sit there like it would around here?

  22. September 25, 2013 8:02 pm

    I love your wit, humor, and sassiness, Ameena! Xx

  23. September 25, 2013 10:43 pm

    haha I suffer from that too mostly in my head… so that is not normal hmmm .. but fun nonetheless 😀 food looks interesting. and NY, OH LORD that is the place to be.

    • September 29, 2013 4:34 am

      Love it here Eddie…you should visit NYC if you haven’t already!

  24. September 26, 2013 12:45 am

    Come now, what would we be reading here (and looking forward to each week) if it wasn’t for that crazy brain of yours? Love your wit Ameena!
    But such an annoying thing right, that nagging commentary in my head. Only most times in my case, its out loud too. Amit is most certainly getting yelled at for leaving dishes after I am done cleaning. Though I think its because my husband is allergic to spotless spaces.

    • September 29, 2013 4:35 am

      Ha. I think Ali has the same allergy. As does Maya for that matter!

  25. September 26, 2013 1:02 am

    Good to know I am not alone….:)

  26. September 26, 2013 2:20 am

    Ha! Yes, I totally have that. I use it against myself an unfortunate amount too….

    • September 29, 2013 4:35 am

      I’m sorry you are afflicted Ellen…let me know if you come up with a cure. Please!

  27. September 26, 2013 6:48 am

    I wanted to let you know that I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Award. Check out my post for details. Reading your posts always brightens my day!
    Check out this link for details. Hope you get the time to participate. xoxo
    Z

    • September 29, 2013 4:36 am

      Thank you for the compliment and the award Z! I appreciate it. 🙂

  28. September 26, 2013 9:05 am

    Ha ha ha – great post! Loved it! So, – Greek kitchen ha? – we are sooo happy that finally a Greek restaurant opened in Mumbai- in case we get bored of Indian food… (likely-on a scale ..?) Warm thoughts:-)

    • September 29, 2013 4:36 am

      So interested in how a Greek restaurant will fare in India! Please let me know if you try it out.

      And thanks for the comment Eli. 🙂

  29. September 26, 2013 10:10 am

    So glad that you are enjoying your new home in my old home (I was born in NYC)! I feel as you do in your last comment, all the annoyances don’t matter as much as living in a city you love 🙂

    • September 29, 2013 4:37 am

      NYC and now Paris…you live in the best places Elaine!

  30. September 26, 2013 11:29 am

    I confess – I have it too! Our poor families…. 😦

    • September 29, 2013 4:37 am

      Sorry to hear that Ken!

      I also feel sorry for our families…. 🙂

  31. September 27, 2013 2:19 am

    Ameena, I have your answer funny lady- you just find others who suffer from the same disorder. And “at least I’m doing it in a city like this” made my day. When do I see you?

    • September 29, 2013 4:38 am

      Would love to see you Lauren…lunch this week or next? Let me know when you are free.

  32. September 27, 2013 7:20 am

    The last one (family of four walking in a row)… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had that running commentary in my head on the streets of London!!

    • September 29, 2013 4:38 am

      Yes, London definitely has so many people walking in rows. Very difficult to navigate!

  33. September 27, 2013 4:20 pm

    im looking at a mirror image right now… The only thing is i’ve been pretty vocal about a lot of these things and my husbands at the receiving end.. Hopefully ill learn to keep mum and just keep the commentary in my head 🙂 Have a lovely weekend!

    • September 29, 2013 4:39 am

      Keeping the commentary inside is not an easy task, I feel your pain.

      Hope you are having a great weekend as well Anu!

  34. September 27, 2013 10:18 pm

    If running commentaries didn’t exist, nor would blog post topics ;)! Let’s just say that it’s a blessing that thought bubbles don’t appear over our heads otherwise we would be on several hate lists ;)!

  35. September 29, 2013 7:10 pm

    OK this is making me laugh b/c I have passive aggressive dish washer loading tendencies too. But I’m also wondering why we haven’t had lunch yet. WHY? You are in NYC-finally. I’m 35 minutes to Penn Sta. Let’s do it! Email me snapsandbits at gmail dot com!

  36. Leah permalink
    September 29, 2013 9:11 pm

    hahahahaha we are the same. I noticed it was especially bad in Vegas when no one could figure out how to walk at a normal pace, or just not be weird and irritating.

  37. September 30, 2013 6:03 am

    I’m convinced headphones were invented for Guys to help them with such running commentary.

  38. purabinaha permalink
    September 30, 2013 10:25 am

    Hey, I can relate with this too! Nice post!! And your daughter has 40 pairs of socks?! (And you just two?!) Very interesting post…had a great time reading this!
    http://www.cosmopolitancurrymania.com

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