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the library book

June 5, 2012

Last weekend, against my better judgment, I let Ali borrow a book from the library.

I know what you’re thinking: “Ameena, must you control every single aspect of your poor husband’s life, including his reading material?”

Of course I must. And in a minute you’ll understand why.

Aside from worrying about overdue books this weekend, I also attended a very cute baby shower.

Me: “Ali? Did you forget that you don’t read books?”
Ali: “It’s a long weekend so I just want to have it on hand. Just in case.”
Me: “So then why don’t you pick a book with a 3 week time frame instead of a new release? This one has to be returned within 7 days.”

This last statement was met with silence. Likely because it made sense and Ali often has no response to things that make sense.

Me and my friend Nadia at the shower. Here’s the truth: If she wasn’t the nicest person in the world I’d be really jealous of how pretty she is.

Saturday: The book remains by the front door, untouched.
Sunday: I move the book next to Ali’s computer so he’ll notice it. He doesn’t notice it.
Monday, 8:15pm: Ali says, “There is nothing on TV tonight. See? I’m so glad I have a book now.” He shoots me a triumphant look.
Monday, 8:23pm: As expected, Ali puts the book back on the table and turns on Shark Tank instead.
Tuesday – Thursday: The book is staring me in the face. Begging me to return it before I forget about it.
Friday 5:30pm: I tell Maya, “Dad’s library book needs to be returned and he won’t be home tonight. We need to drop it off before we go to dinner with your uncle.”
Friday 6:15pm: I tell Maya, “We forgot to return Dad’s flipping book and now the library is closed.”
Friday 6:16pm: Maya says, “Dad doesn’t know anything about anything.”

Not sure exactly what “organic salmon” means but this was phenomenal. Farmed or not.

I wish I could say I told Maya “not to talk about her father like that” but I didn’t. I guess I forgot?

Kind of like someone forgot to return their library book….

86 Comments leave one →
  1. June 5, 2012 3:44 am

    Gorgeous pic of you and Nadia! The phrase “kids say the darnest things” comes to mind…hahah if my daughter said that about my future husband, I’m not sure I would be able to keep a straight face- too hilarious! Tell me though- did Ali ever read/return the book??

    • June 5, 2012 4:27 pm

      Ali read about 2 pages and then I returned it late. And blemished my perfect library record!

  2. June 5, 2012 4:19 am

    Maya should teach Ali the rules of the library. I’ll bet she knows them better than he does.

    And I really hate to throw this out there because I love my roommate dearly, but it’s too funny not to share with the subject of the post. My roommate thought, until about a month ago, that I was “renting” books and had no idea the library was not a free public service. She swore that in her town it was like they always had to pay when she went as a kid, but I told her it was most likely her mom paying late fines when they went, not renting the book….

    Sigh. I heart her.

    • June 5, 2012 4:27 pm

      How funny! Maya thought the same thing for a while. She figured it was like a car lease, which I explained to her not too long ago. But of course, she’s only 7… 🙂

  3. June 5, 2012 4:27 am

    I think that maybe your attitude is rubbing off on Maya… ;-)The baby shower does look adorable. Your friend should be jealous of you as well…you’re both beautiful! Great photo!

  4. June 5, 2012 4:47 am

    The way you feel about your friend Nadia? That’s how I feel about my sisters. They are the girls you’d love to hate except they’re awesome so you can’t really. The nerve of some people.
    Gorgeous baby shower with gorgeous attendees!
    My little one likes to check out library books and then leave them at school where I have no hope of rectifying the situation… he and Ali might need copies of library rules.

    • June 5, 2012 4:28 pm

      The nerve of some people is right…but how nice that you are close to your sisters!

  5. June 5, 2012 4:54 am

    “Likely because it made sense and Ali often has no response to things that make sense.” This cracked me up. I shouldn’t laugh, though—I’m often guilty of not getting around to reading or finishing a library book in time. Luckily, I can renew online!

    • June 5, 2012 4:29 pm

      Normally we could renew online but not the new releases…hence why I tried to talk him out of it. To no avail!

  6. June 5, 2012 4:56 am

    you ladies looks so pretty at the baby shower. I course the book when un read and unreturned. ali is so predictable and yet so amusing!! 😉

  7. June 5, 2012 6:02 am

    OMggggggggggg, now that is a Baby Shower that I’d want to attend. Gorgeous little details.

    Love your stories about Ali. Men Are just such predictable Asses.

    • June 5, 2012 4:29 pm

      Predictable is right! And thanks for reading my random stories…

  8. June 5, 2012 6:33 am

    My library experience lasted about a week. My dog ate the first book I checked out and then I kept a DVD like a week late and owed no less than $40 before all was said and done. Fail.

    • June 5, 2012 4:30 pm

      I love the library! When utilized properly it is quite a money saving service. 🙂

  9. June 5, 2012 6:35 am

    My husband loves Shark Tank. I just don’t get it – I always feel so bad for the people that don’t get any offers for their companies. It’s uncomfortable to watch.

    • June 5, 2012 4:31 pm

      Me too! I feel so sad for those people who stand up there with the most bizarre ideas, because as bizarre as some of them are I really admire their efforts nonetheless.

  10. samanthaangela permalink
    June 5, 2012 6:51 am

    So my whole time reading this I’m thinking: Tech-savvy, gadget guru, lover of all things electronic Ali is reading a book on paper? This makes no sense.

    • June 5, 2012 4:31 pm

      Exactly. If it makes no sense to either of us, how does it make sense to my husband?

      So odd.

  11. June 5, 2012 7:12 am

    I can’t say much here because I once racked up over $10 in late fees at the library! Oops!

    Like others above me, I’m surprised Ali opted for a library book versus something electronic. What’s going on!?

    • June 5, 2012 4:32 pm

      I wish I had answers! But I only have questions. Lots of questions.

  12. June 5, 2012 8:28 am

    As a frequent checker-outer of new release library books, I HATE how they only give you seven days to read the book. Plus, I’ve usually been on a long waiting list, so I have NO IDEA when it will be my turn. Inevitably the librarian will call to tell me to come pick up the book, and I think: Great, now I have to clear my entire schedule for the rest of the week so I can finish the book in time. Very stressful.

    • June 5, 2012 4:32 pm

      Funny how a relaxing activity turns into a stressful activity. The new releases should be avoided. 🙂

  13. June 5, 2012 8:35 am

    Hilarious! …it made sense and he often has no response to things that make sense!! I love it. I used to be a chronic late library book turner inner (so not real words I know). Luckily the fees aren’t that high and it was usually a day or two but still! There was a time when I could zip through the 7 day reader express books and actually get them back in time but those days are over. Thank goodness Mj isn’t into library books-I’d have to set up calendar reminders for him to remember to bring them back.

    • June 5, 2012 4:33 pm

      I used to be able to zip through a book quickly but now work and Maya and Ali get in the way!!

  14. June 5, 2012 9:03 am

    hahaha. What was the book? I need a new read. I have been reading way too fast lately and should probably actually use a library instead of shelling out $10+ everytime I finish a book. I could read some of Andy’s economic, political, or history books but I haven’t gotten that desperate yet.

    • June 5, 2012 4:33 pm

      I can’t even remember the name of it now! It was something I wouldn’t read in a million years. Of course. 🙂

  15. June 5, 2012 9:07 am

    Man, I have paid hundreds of dollars in overdue fines so I really shouldn’t say anything. We now buy books for that very reason (plus, I like having bookcases. It makes me feel less bad about reading US Weekly).

    PS: Um, you have FABULOUS hair. And I both like you because you’re nice and am totally jealous of your fabulousness 🙂

    • June 5, 2012 4:34 pm

      You’re compliments are so generous, especially since YOU have such fantastic hair. 🙂

  16. June 5, 2012 9:12 am

    If you’re collecting Maya moments, “dad doesn’t know anything about anything” needs to be on there…for the sake of your book. Also, I have to ask what book he checked out that he couldn’t read. There are moments where I think Ali and I would get along very well, but if he doesn’t read…I don’t know anymore. 😛

    • June 5, 2012 4:34 pm

      I can’t remember the name of the book! I assure you that I wouldn’t have read it and I doubt that you would have though. If that helps at all!

      • June 5, 2012 9:36 pm

        I only hoped he’d redeem himself by at least choosing a good title, haha.

  17. Lady Jennie permalink
    June 5, 2012 9:20 am

    Maya’s comment cracks me up!

    And both you and your friend are gorgeous.

  18. June 5, 2012 10:10 am

    Hehehehehe, I never return library books on times, so I stopped going to the library.

    • June 5, 2012 4:35 pm

      I’m obviously uptight enough to make sure my books (and Maya’s) are always returned on time.

      I think I need to loosen up.

  19. June 5, 2012 10:47 am

    Yah, there’s a reason I dont go to the library, I would NEVER remember to return anything. It’s a miracle I remember to put on pants before I leave the house, anything else is just asking too much.
    Still, I’m really glad Ali does these things, he makes for some of the best posts ever. 🙂

    • June 5, 2012 4:36 pm

      Sometimes I think it’s a miracle Ali remembers to put on pants before he leaves the house. I often to a quick once-over before he walks out, just to make sure!

  20. June 5, 2012 11:25 am

    Oh library fines, so very familiar with them. I usually check out 60 books at a time so there’s bound to be some that get kicked under rugs or hidden under beds or shoved in with the other million books in our home. It’s a start for Ali, maybe the next time he’ll actually read it. He’s probably the type of person that should just buy the book.

    • June 5, 2012 4:36 pm

      Ali’s the type of person who should not read. He doesn’t like it! He should stick to magazines like Tech World (or something like that) and The Economist. 🙂

  21. June 5, 2012 12:18 pm

    I think it is a tease in the first place to have a book for only 7 days, who reads a book in 7 days, unless they do not work or have kids, unless the book is very short.

    • June 5, 2012 4:37 pm

      I used to be able to read a book in half that time. But then I got married, found a job, and had a child.

      And those days are over.

  22. June 5, 2012 12:36 pm

    Maya’s comment is priceless! I wish I could say that I wasn’t guilty of putting down books 8 minutes after picking them up too…

    • June 5, 2012 4:37 pm

      I would read all day if I could! But life gets in the way of that…

  23. SIL permalink
    June 5, 2012 1:40 pm

    I buy books and I have a Netflix subscription for this very reason. NO LATE FEES in the event I forget to return the book or the movie! Which I always do.

    • June 5, 2012 4:38 pm

      But what do you do with all the books you buy? We have no garage so things were getting a little busy around here…which doesn’t work for a clutter-phobe like me.

      • SIL permalink
        June 6, 2012 12:42 pm

        If anyone I know is having a garage sale, I will put them in the sale and tell the seller to donate the money to the Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma. Yes, I’m that goodie-two-shoes. I have bought my last 6 books on amazon kindle though so there hasn’t been as much clutter recently. I too, am a clutter phobe.

  24. June 5, 2012 1:42 pm

    I’d make a clever jab at Ali’s forgetfulness here except that I am the WORST at remembering to return my own library books. I like to think that my ever-present fines are a public service to the cultural feasibility of my community. Sounds better than calling myself lazy. 🙂

    • June 5, 2012 4:39 pm

      Absolutely! You are doing your community a favor! Well spun Megan. 🙂

  25. June 5, 2012 4:17 pm

    As always- you had me laughing at the end!….the smile slowly moved across my lips as I anticipated the ending- and then when the ending came- it was a full on laugh.

    Liked the way you interspersed the baby shower pics– you look lovely! Your baby showers are alot more elegant than the ones I normally attend 🙂

    • June 5, 2012 4:39 pm

      Thanks Anjuli! This has to be the most well-crafted comment I’ve ever received. I love it!

  26. June 5, 2012 6:50 pm

    You both look great in that picture… you are just as pretty!!! Here is something that will turn you off about me, I HATE READING. the only difference is i order my “self-help” books from amazon, read the parts I need help with and leave them around the house. I haven’t been to the library since high school. Pathetic, I know. At least I read blogs. 🙂

    • June 7, 2012 8:46 pm

      Thank you my friend! You are so sweet.

      I LOVE the library…you should come over to LA and I’ll show you why it’s so great!

  27. June 5, 2012 7:45 pm

    Ha! That Maya cracks me up. Well, if she’s speaking the truth, no need to correct her;)

  28. June 5, 2012 8:27 pm

    I don’t know which is funnier, Ali’s reading habits, your predictions, or the way Maya summed it all up at the end. But I do know this, you looked beautiful at the shower — as always.

    • June 7, 2012 8:47 pm

      Emily – you are so kind. Thank you! And thanks for reading.

  29. June 6, 2012 3:24 am

    Please don’t say library book, our school sent notices home for books with 2 days left in the year. I may have purged them already but it’s very stressful. As for Ali, he can come talk to Marc, he owns many books but only reads/skims the paper. Organic doesn’t mean anything when it comes to fish and you and your friend look like sisters, this means you’re really pretty too.

    • June 7, 2012 8:48 pm

      So organic doesn’t mean anything? Good to know…so I shouldn’t shell out $35 for organic salmon anymore?

  30. June 6, 2012 5:44 am

    My husband claims he reads the Maxim magazines for their articles.
    So in other words, my husband does not read and would never step foot in a library.
    Oddly, he does know every sports players stats including what their favourite brand of underwear are…which is weird.

  31. June 6, 2012 11:42 am

    Don’t i just adore these stories 🙂 Well apart from reminding my husband about pending library books, doing certain chores that he promised, bringing the cd home from work after i reminded him to, getting those much needed quarters from the bank(after i reminded him multiple times a day) – this is what I love doing reading blogs that make me feel normal 🙂
    Hi to Maya and yes both you and Nadia look radiant! 🙂

    • June 7, 2012 8:51 pm

      Reminders at regular intervals multiple times a day seems to make NO difference.

      On a happier note, thank you Anu for the compliment! 🙂

  32. June 6, 2012 4:06 pm

    That photo of you and Nadia is lovely. You look amazing Ameena.

    And my husband is exactly the same. When we were dismantling a bookshelf, he forgot to put the screws in the tool box. So the person buying the shelf left with only wooden planks and no screws. They had to drive back to collect them. And somehow, this whole thing was my fault.

    • June 7, 2012 8:52 pm

      Of course it was your fault! Because you were supposed to take care of the entire project to begin with. Or didn’t you know that? 🙂

  33. June 6, 2012 6:02 pm

    “I know what you’re thinking…Ameena, must you control every aspect of your husband’s life, including his reading material?” You are so laugh-out-loud funny, Ameena!

  34. spiceandmore permalink
    June 6, 2012 7:19 pm

    My husband makes a big deal about my library fines…always tells the kids that they have my photo up on the wall of the library as a serial offender (!). But then he joined a new library, borrowed heaps of books and did not even think about returning them for months. When I took them back for him I had to pay an $85 fine. Needless to say, library fines are not discussed in our house anymore! Was worth the $85 just to shut him up for good!

    • June 7, 2012 8:52 pm

      $85! Wow. That is a hefty fine…maybe the largest ever? 🙂

  35. June 6, 2012 10:22 pm

    I’m surprised that Ali just didn’t buy the ebook version for his iPad!

    • June 7, 2012 8:53 pm

      I’m surprised too…the whole situation was a surprise actually!

  36. glamorous glutton permalink
    June 7, 2012 11:32 am

    That is the thing about library books, i always end up returning them late. It takes Mr Glam around a year to read a book so there’s no library borrowing here! GG

    • June 7, 2012 8:53 pm

      Mr. Glam beats Ali…I don’t think he’s finished a book in the 15 years I’ve known him!

  37. June 7, 2012 3:44 pm

    so finally when did you return it and what was Ali’s reaction ?? 😀

    • June 7, 2012 8:54 pm

      I returned it a day late and Ali said nothing. No acknowledgement of the situation at all. Which is typical around here!

  38. anywherethereisanairport permalink
    June 7, 2012 5:32 pm

    The only thing I can focus on here is the fact that you are raising a very intuitive child. At least you can be proud of that! 🙂

  39. June 7, 2012 6:51 pm

    I’m really surprised he wanted an actual book from the library and didnt just download or buy his own 🙂
    Pretty pretty ladies btw!


  40. squigglefloey permalink
    June 8, 2012 12:32 am

    Okay, I just borrowed two 7-day library books with my boyfriends library card (I lost mine and am too cheap to pay for another one!). Thanks for the reminder to return it before this Monday 😛

    PS. If you weren’t so funny I’d be jealous of how gorgeous you are!

  41. June 8, 2012 12:26 pm

    Yes you do need to control his Library decisions, and probably not let him rent movies that have a return time as well 😉

    • June 10, 2012 7:37 pm

      Luckily we do not rent movies…ever! I’d be scared to see how much we’d be paying in late fees…

  42. June 11, 2012 7:32 pm

    re: Nadia. +1. That you would say that about a girlfriend is how I know we’re soulmates.

    On that note, please imagine my surprise when my engineering husband told me he got a library card. There has probably been no greater shock in the history of our relationship.

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