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August 9, 2011

Even though I’m the one who’s been waking up after just 4 hours of sleep for 8 consecutive days to eat at an ungodly hour of the morning, my husband is the one who slept for 12 hours straight this past Sunday. I think it was because he was exhausted from moving his breakfast dishes into the sink instead of just next to it.

I imagine it’s tough to be him.

But at 10 am, after finding a newly added teacup precariously balancing on top of his cereal bowl, I knew it was time to make Ali pay for the error of his ways.

Me: “It’s time to clean out your closet.”

Ali: “No way.”

After completely disregarding his opinion we spent two hours cloistered in his walk-in going through clothes, shoes, cables (always), event badges, mismatched socks, cuff-links, and ties.

Two tuxedos, a suit from Ali’s college days, 1,000,000 miscellaneous business cards, a very ugly pair of pants the color of vomit, and one rather suspicious Burberry knockoff later we dropped four bags off to Goodwill and 1 more to the dry cleaner.

Since I’d been awake since 3:45 am I was exhausted and decided to take a nap. Guess what I found when I woke up? My husband’s lunch dishes balancing on his breakfast dishes while he was fast asleep on the sofa.

Holy sh#$. I’m going to lose my mind.

116 Comments leave one →
  1. August 9, 2011 12:25 am

    Argh! Dishes! The bain of my existence!
    Also, I’m confused. Is Ali not fasting as well?

  2. August 9, 2011 12:33 am

    I can think of nothing more therapeutic than cleaning out a closet. Seriously. I love it.

    Now… having to do this WITH someone else? Bordering on nightmare. I can’t believe you got through that… especially while hungry!

    I wonder if Ali found his dishes precariously close to his computer(s) if they would make it safely back INTO the sink. Or dare I say IN the dishwasher!?

    • August 9, 2011 2:27 pm

      If it wasn’t necessary for Ali to try things on I assure you I could have weeded things out without his “assistance!” That would have been 1000 times easier…

  3. August 9, 2011 12:53 am

    I think it is time to take up some of these issues with my husband too.

    • August 9, 2011 2:27 pm

      I’m sending loads of patience and lots of luck your way Anita!

  4. August 9, 2011 1:00 am

    What is it with these event badges? I always throw mine out the minute I leave one. Why do men hang onto them? And don’t even get me started on the business cards. Our home is overflowing with those darned things.

    • August 9, 2011 2:28 pm

      I threw out no less than 10 badges. Ali even had someone else’s badge in his closet! Go figure…

  5. August 9, 2011 2:57 am

    I’m the worst with closets 😦 I clean mine… then it becomes a mess again. Why do I do those things? 🙂

  6. August 9, 2011 4:08 am

    Business cards… I feel like I find mine everywhere… ugh!

  7. August 9, 2011 4:30 am

    So annoying, I hate it when I feel that I have to be “the mother.” Sometimes it feels like us wives take on what their mother’s left of at. That sucks.
    *kisses* HH
    p.s. i wish i had a walk in closet

  8. August 9, 2011 4:35 am

    I wish I could get my husband to clean out his stuff. At least your husband has a closet; mine insists on putting them on shelves that belong in a garage right in the middle of our bedroom.

    • August 9, 2011 2:29 pm

      How are you okay with garage shelves in the middle of your bedroom? Maybe I should appreciate the fact his closet has a door. That shuts.

  9. August 9, 2011 4:55 am

    And I thought I had it bad 😉 I’m the biggest mess of all, just looking at the crap I have to clean is over-whelming – and it’s just me! No Ali’s here 🙂

  10. August 9, 2011 5:31 am

    MEN! good grief. I’d have completely lost it long ago. Actually, i do on a regular basis as I watch Adam’s clothes pile up 2 days after he does 3 loads of laundry. i don’t understand how this is possible

    • August 9, 2011 2:29 pm

      They change several times a day. That’s the only explanation for the constantly overflowing hamper…

  11. August 9, 2011 5:58 am

    Ahhhh, cleaning out a closet is so cathartic! Love it!

  12. August 9, 2011 6:01 am

    Reorganizing a closet is the best feeling! It’s so hard to get started but when you’re done it feels so good! …kind like working out or even washing dishes 😉

  13. August 9, 2011 6:18 am

    I can’t decide what I’m most concerned about – the overabundance of old event badges or the Burberry knockoff.

    For what it’s worth, when I took the walk-in closet, Marcus commandeered the entire second bedroom as his “office.”

    • August 9, 2011 2:30 pm

      Oh Kat. I would never let Ali have the walk-in if it was the only one. Luckily I have one all my own!

  14. August 9, 2011 6:35 am

    Oh my, Ali’s walk-in closet looked so disastrous. I have to be in the mood to clean out my own closet, let alone someone else’s. You’re good, especially to do that during fasting. I could not do it, I would have an emotional problem. And what’s up with men and mismatched socks? Almost all of my husband’s socks are mismatched too!

    • August 9, 2011 2:31 pm

      It had to be done Lydia. I’d left it too long! But I learned my lesson this time…I’ll never let it get to that point again.

  15. August 9, 2011 6:50 am

    You have the touch, Ameena!! Can you please come to NJ and work on Ralph…he needs your talent for cleanout!!

    • August 9, 2011 2:31 pm

      I LOVE cleaning closets…if NJ was a bit closer I’d be there in a flash Fran!

  16. August 9, 2011 6:52 am

    Can you please come to my house next? My husband has shirts from before we met which was 8 years ago. SERIOUSLY??

    • August 9, 2011 2:32 pm

      I got rid of stuff Ali had from before we were married. We’ve been married no less than 11 years. I hope that makes you feel better Jessica!

  17. August 9, 2011 7:12 am

    And this is exactly why my boyfriend isn’t allowed to have any closet space in my apartment!

  18. August 9, 2011 7:14 am

    Crazy! Dishes def. get to me in my house.. my mom gets the most upset over the trash being over filled haha

    • August 9, 2011 2:33 pm

      Our trash doesn’t get overfilled because I throw it. If it were up to Ali that would be a different story…

  19. August 9, 2011 7:42 am

    I hate when people don’t do their dishes. Over here, it’s like they’re allergic to cleaning up after breakfast. I can be out for two, three hours in the morning and when I come back the dishes will still be on the kitchen table. So, I feel your pain!

    • August 9, 2011 2:34 pm

      It’s like they/Ali don’t see it? Or they/Ali don’t feel the underlying rage that you are sending their way? I don’t get it.

  20. August 9, 2011 7:42 am

    Gah what a disaster zone lol. My OCD clean freak-ness wouldn’t be able to handle something like that. Actually, I’m not looking forward to going through my closet and picking some stuff to donate before I move. I love the feeling of getting rid of unnecessary things, but the whole process is just maddening.

    • August 9, 2011 2:34 pm

      If it’s your own stuff it’ll be a piece of cake! When it’s someone else’s stuff things are a bit more complicated. Good luck Amanda!

  21. August 9, 2011 8:10 am

    Thank goodness for you, this blog, and your honesty about men…well, in this case, more specifically Ali. The other day my husband got mad at me for making a derogatory comment about him on my blog (I said he had a fat head…no, really, he’s got a huge noggen!) Then I showed him your blog, and said, “She writes about her husband all the time! Watch your step buddy or I’m going to go down that route.” I’m going to anyway. You inspire me!

    • August 9, 2011 2:35 pm

      I’m so pleased to finally be an inspiration to somebody. Seriously! And really? Your husband has a fat head? How interesting.

  22. August 9, 2011 8:19 am

    —Holy shit. You need a maid, girl!

    Men Drive Me Insaaaaaaaaaane 🙂 xx Can’t live with them…..Can’t live without them.

  23. August 9, 2011 8:36 am

    It sounds like cleaning that closet is the perfect way to make him pay, lol! Guys are so frustrating when it comes to their space (that they don’t like to clean!)…I don’t even like to set foot in Mike’s study! I can’t complain about it too much though because he’s been threatening to get me a maid…might sound nice, but I would never want to relinquish that much control in my own home, lol!

    • August 9, 2011 2:36 pm

      He’s “threatening” to get you a maid? That’s like every single person’s dream! Jump on it before he changes his mind Faith!

  24. August 9, 2011 9:24 am

    What, no giant collection of free tech company t-shirts? Sadly, I kinda miss the size XXXL t-shirts in ugly colors with random logos. They woulda come in handy as I hit my biggest. Any left from your great closet purge? 🙂

    • August 9, 2011 2:37 pm

      Oh yes…I gave away at least 10 of those ugly shirts in sizes that could fit me, Ali and Maya. Together. Including at least 5 that read, “I’m a PC.”

  25. August 9, 2011 9:24 am

    I know how you feel Ameena. To me, There is nothing worse than doing the dishes. So I can Imagine how you would feel if the dishes are piled up one after another 🙂

    • August 9, 2011 2:38 pm

      The only thing worse than doing dishes is doing them when you are hungry. Trust me on this!

  26. August 9, 2011 9:31 am

    Oh man you and my mom should vent together, Ameena! We’re in the process of decluttering our house/getting rid of stuff and my mom is making my dad go through his closet…but he tends to get distracted and do other “unnecessary things” like repaint the deck, so she ends up doing it quite frustratedly. Oh and the dishes is a whole other thing…my mother is the one who wakes up 15 mins before my dad to prepare his imsak meal and of course he leaves everything on the table despite the fact that he DOESN’T go back to sleep after eating.

    • August 9, 2011 2:39 pm

      Wow. Your mom gets up to make his food in the morning? Now that is a dedicated wife. I need to take a lesson. Although I suppose with Ali fasting this wouldn’t really apply here. But still!

  27. permalink
    August 9, 2011 9:37 am

    Ameena, you’re so patient with Ali. Is he not fasting? If he’s not, he’s really being kinda clueless to leave his plates out during the day, reminding you that you can’t eat.

    I’m completely a Type A personality when it comes to closets. Everything is ordered first by type of clothing, then by color. All the hangers have to match – identical chestnut wooden hangers. And don’t get me started with my lingerie – ok, if you insist. Again ordered by color with special drawer dividers, then each section gets a romantic, lavender-scented sachet with the french words of …. L’Amour…. La Joie….Le Bonheur…La Fete. It’s so much fun to get dressed. Bien sur, it’s more fun getting undressed 😉

    • August 9, 2011 11:13 am

      Dear Ameena, sorry for speaking to one of your readers here directly. But I am dying to see a picture of her closet!

      • August 9, 2011 2:42 pm

        I second that request Lin. I’d love to see a photo too!

    • August 9, 2011 2:40 pm

      No Ali isn’t fasting. And yes he is clueless. 🙂 I bet my closet is a mirror image of yours! Except that I don’t have drawer dividers and now I kind of feel left out. Thank you for inspiring a trip to Organized Living Leslie!

  28. August 9, 2011 10:04 am

    That’s what Jonathan’s side of the bedroom looks like. I honestly don’t know how he can comfortably sleep at night with all that clutter surrounding him. Blegh.

    • August 9, 2011 2:41 pm

      I’m sorry you have to see this kind of mess daily! At least I can close Ali’s closet door…

  29. August 9, 2011 10:06 am

    oh girl. Id put all his fave technology in a box and tell him he can have it when his dishes are clean. 🙂

    • August 9, 2011 2:42 pm

      Unfortunately there isn’t a box big enough. I’ve searched and searched. 🙂

  30. August 9, 2011 10:46 am

    I’m joining the chorus of questioners. Ali’s not with you on the fast? That would make it doubly difficult.

    I’m a type Z when it comes to the closet. You wouldn’t want to come near mine, trust me.

    • August 9, 2011 2:49 pm

      No Ali isn’t fasting so it’s just me going solo this Ramadan. But it makes it a bit easier because then I don’t have to hear anybody’s whining except my own!

  31. August 9, 2011 10:49 am

    So I take it he’s not fasting with you for Ramadan. Bummer. You both need to suffer. Not just you.

    • August 9, 2011 2:49 pm

      It’s easier this way Deb because if I had to listen to Ali’s complaints, along with my own, Ramadan would be doubly as hard.

  32. August 9, 2011 11:08 am

    Hahahahahah… You two crack me up! You need to post an “after” pic of the closet now that you’ve cleaned it out – show off your hard work!

    • August 9, 2011 2:45 pm

      Actually, I totally should have posted an “after” picture. Not sure why I didn’t think of that?

  33. August 9, 2011 11:11 am

    HAHAHA. You two need a sitcom!

  34. August 9, 2011 11:54 am

    I see you have caps again, finally the new laptop is home:)

    I am seriously scared of what I’ll find in my husbands closet,if I ever muster the courage to enter it!

    • August 9, 2011 2:46 pm

      Yes, I have a new laptop! I’m so relieved to be able to type correctly again.

  35. August 9, 2011 12:21 pm

    Oh, you make me laugh! My husband’s okay with getting rid of clothes. It’s the cables. So many cables. Cables for things like the old Commodore 64 he had in middle school. But you know, he just might need them again someday! And still, people will be shocked when one morning the cops show up and he’s been strangled with them…

    • August 9, 2011 2:47 pm

      I love it. Someone can relate to the cable issue! We are going to need to move soon just to have space for Ali’s cables…

  36. August 9, 2011 12:42 pm

    I want my husband to clean out his closet too, but if I help him, I am going to need a head flashlight because his outfit consist of all dark colors, mostly black and I’m going into the black hole when I go into his closet. I’m scared, lol!

    When we renovated our kitchen, we got a sink that is deeper than normal sink, which means I don’t see the dirty dishes piling up until it’s too late.

    • August 9, 2011 8:53 pm

      A head flashlight. I love it!

      I mentally just made a note never to supersize my sink. Ever.

  37. August 9, 2011 1:10 pm

    Ohhh there is nothing I love more than cleaning out, organizing & tossing stuff. I could do it all day.
    So is Ali not participating in Ramadaan? Just curious.
    ( I had to look up how to spell Ramadaan in the earlier comments and it was spelled 3 different ways so sorry if I misspelled it).
    I fasted on Sunday for religious reasons and I thought of you all day. Hang in there!

    • August 9, 2011 8:54 pm

      No Ali isn’t observing Ramadan – I am on my own this year. But the organizing certainly helps time go faster!

  38. August 9, 2011 2:01 pm

    I love the reference to the “pair of pants the color of vomit”. That leaves quite the image. 🙂

    At least you were able to donate a bunch of things, even though I’m sure the closet will fill up again quite quickly.

    • August 9, 2011 8:54 pm

      I’m crossing my fingers the closet does not fill up again. Since neither of us are shoppers it will likely take a while!

  39. Erika permalink
    August 9, 2011 2:46 pm

    I love your blog Ameena really I had a good laugh. Now he should take you shopping or out to dinner for all that hard work in his closet you had to do..Have a fun week, oh and he should do the dishes while your fasting since he isn’t.

    • August 9, 2011 8:55 pm

      Thank you Erika for the compliment and for reading!

  40. August 9, 2011 4:09 pm

    Take a deep breath. Then go balance the dishes on his face.

    • August 9, 2011 8:56 pm

      I took a deep breath. It stopped me from throwing the dishes at him. 🙂

  41. August 9, 2011 5:48 pm

    Major props for fasting by yourself this year. I don’t know if I could do it! And I made Ryan get rid of hundreds of t-shirts before we got married. You only need so many t-shirts with bengel tigers on front. Thank you for sharing another delightful post. I hope you had a great Tuesday. I’m looking forward to an evening of baking. Take care and much love.

  42. August 9, 2011 6:08 pm

    It’s not easy to fast by yourself….sorry 😦

  43. August 9, 2011 6:45 pm

    You might’ve already answered this but you have so many comments i couldnt read through all of them! Is ali not fasting?

    • August 9, 2011 8:56 pm

      No Ali isn’t fasting this year so I am on my own!

  44. August 9, 2011 8:06 pm

    Paul does that too. He begs for a baby every day and then leaves stacks of dishes on his nightstand and the coffee table… and socks and boots and flight suits EVERYWHERE!

    Let’s run away and spend all their money. this is out of control ridiculous =) but we love em

    • August 9, 2011 8:57 pm

      He begs for a baby? Really? I think running away is a very wise suggestion Jenn. 🙂

  45. August 9, 2011 8:14 pm

    I still can not understand why you wake up so early, just skip breakfast and sleep in, it will be easier to be hungry for 10 hours if you get up at 9 then for 15. You are so good though. If it makes you feel any better this fasting is progressing my marriage really fast to divorce court too 😉

    • August 10, 2011 8:27 pm

      There is no way I could get through the day without getting up to eat at 4am!

  46. August 9, 2011 8:19 pm

    OMG! I can’t stop laughing!! You and Ali are too stinking cute! True Love my friend….LOL


  47. August 9, 2011 9:50 pm

    Oh how nice it must be to be a man.

    I think he should buy you something pretty to make up for this. 🙂

  48. August 9, 2011 10:02 pm

    hahahaha. That must have been truly a punishment for him. Cleaning closets that is…… by the way what is ali’s zodiac sign if you don’t mind me asking.

    lol @ dishes fiasco :D. You should write a book of this hahah … title “husbands : handle with care “

    • August 10, 2011 8:28 pm

      Brilliant book title! You might be on to something…

  49. August 9, 2011 11:11 pm

    Our old kitchen sink held all of two dishes before overflowing. We just got this new (very large) sink and the first thing my Husband says is: “Now we only have to do dishes every few days.” Seriously. I can’t believe they say these things out loud.

    • August 10, 2011 8:29 pm

      The problem is they don’t have a filter or something…they just say whatever comes to mind.

  50. August 10, 2011 2:37 am

    ooops 🙂 I dont know what to say .. 🙂

  51. August 10, 2011 4:01 am

    I think if H moved his dishes into the kitchen, he’d require a week in a hyperbaric chamber. So you guys are doing okay. 🙂

  52. August 10, 2011 4:45 am

    haha it seems you will never get bored with Ali…lol atleast you got to take that nap!

  53. August 10, 2011 5:14 am

    Ack – his learning curve on this is completely flat! But at least his closet is clean now.

  54. August 10, 2011 10:53 am

    Sounds familiar. I think they are all the same. No! I AM SURE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. I highly suspect annoying us is their priority.

  55. August 10, 2011 1:24 pm

    I do not understand it… hubby does that….stacks up the dishes – the dish washer is RIGHT beside the sink!! Is it that hard to open?

    • August 10, 2011 8:30 pm

      The dishwasher rarely gets opened around here. Unless I do it of course.

  56. August 10, 2011 2:35 pm

    I honestly got chills seeing the sight of that closet. Yes maybe that means I’m a bit on the OCD side, but good lord man! I’m praying for you, and for him so that he doesn’t loose his head this month.

    • August 10, 2011 8:31 pm

      Thank you. We need prayers that the closet doesn’t revert back to it’s original state. Lots of prayers.

  57. August 10, 2011 4:34 pm

    Holy shit indeed. Gawd, I’d have blown a gasket.

  58. August 10, 2011 6:00 pm

    I finally made my husband clean out his closet. He did a half-ass job, but did fill 2 garbage bags.

  59. August 11, 2011 8:01 am

    So, I must admit that I’m the slob in our household who occasionally leaves a dish here and/or there. Michael has the patient of a saint! That said, I am a big fan of tossing out stuff. We aren’t too minimalistic now that we live in a larger space, but I would really like to go through a lot of our shit and give a few bags to the Salvation Army or Goodwill.

  60. August 11, 2011 8:36 am

    I see you are not faring too badly with the fasting! I can’t sleep after suhoor but the last thing I want to do is clean out a closet! My hubby is pretty good, his side is more organised than my sloppy side. I’ll send my hubby over to teach Ali how to load a dishwasher (I have him well trained :))

  61. August 11, 2011 10:12 am

    My closet is a bit SPARSE…maybe because I take something out of it almost monthly. But I can’t imagine the sense of irritation, impatience, self and other loathing that ensues after LITTLE SLEEP and LITTLE CARBS! I wish you a ton of pats on the backs and gold stars, and mercy on Ali.

  62. August 11, 2011 11:35 am

    Sometimes you travel the world to satiate your appetite for reading only to come back home to find one ..and this post – Hi-larious even though its hard to imagine how you did all of that hungry ..
    and you must write that book no matter how long it takes !!

    • August 11, 2011 6:27 pm

      Thank you so much Priya for the compliment and for reading! 🙂

  63. August 11, 2011 6:30 pm

    My husband could stand to do a thorough clean out of his closet as well. I have to admit, I’m a bit scared of what I might find if we ever get around to doing it. I always love reading your posts – they never fail to put a smile on my face. 🙂

  64. August 12, 2011 1:17 pm

    Why does Ali get to eat lunch? 🙂

  65. August 13, 2011 9:59 am

    I hate to admit it but I smiled at the end–though I know those dishes get annoying. Sigh. And hello married life. 😉

  66. August 14, 2011 11:39 am

    actually, i also create as much mess are your husband. now im feeling really sympathetic for my mum :/

  67. August 17, 2011 2:36 pm

    For a control freak like me .. that closet just gave me a heart attack! When I had gone home to India for a month, Arvind was this type and after coming back I got a head ache looking at the closet .. the bed .. the house!

  68. August 18, 2011 8:22 am

    My hubby has now started taking over the kids’ closets b/c he doesn’t believe in folding his clothes so I’ve kicked him out of ours. Lol. Until he learns how to fold, maybe he’ll be let back in again. Although you and I both know this is not a solution. Just let me enjoy it until the OCD me starts getting annoyed. Out of sight, out of mind for now 😉


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