a “niys” mother’s day
When I was a kid and played house with my cousin, I was always the “childless professional.”
I’m not surprised that you’re not surprised.
I’d like to say that my feelings towards children changed in my teens but really, the extent of my maternal instinct was me screaming at my little brother to go wash his hands every 10 minutes.
When I was in my early twenties, I finally held a baby for what was probably the first time. It was awkward. And after 20 minutes I was secretly thrilled to hand the baby back to its rightful owner.
The baby was thrilled too.
But then suddenly I was 29 and the first 5 years of my marriage had flown by. And my father-in-law kept saying, “It’s time you and Ali settle down, buy a house with a yard, and give me a grandchild.”
The house thing? It never happened. And seeing as I go into a panic just thinking about it, it probably never will. As for the grandchild, I’m still not sure why I acquiesced. Maybe because my father-in-law never asked me for anything else. Maybe because I thought…it’s now or never.
In any case, it’s been 6 years and as much as I bitch and complain about Maya (Often unnecessarily. Often to ensure a funny blog post. Often for real.) I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
What I’m trying to say, in a very roundabout sort of way, is that I never had a burning desire to be a mom. But I’m happy to be one. Just don’t ask me if I’m going to have another. And please don’t insist I’ll change my mind when I tell you I won’t have another. Ever.
Because no matter how “niys” Maya is, and how much I love to “hag” her, it just isn’t going to happen.