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Why Do I Grind My Teeth?

September 29, 2010

I take everything my dentist says with a grain of salt.  I do this because I am pretty sure I am single-handedly paying for the new Mercedes she drives. 

Recently she insisted I need a mouth guard.  As much as I wanted to ignore her, just the thought of another root canal made me cough up the $300 quicker than you can say, “September lease payment due.”

As  I spent time alternating between admiration and bitterness at my dentist’s fear/marketing tactics, I pondered the reasons I supposedly need a night guard, and I came up with the following: 

1. There is nothing like hearing your 5-year-old sing, “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” to make you grind your teeth at night. 

2. The fact that Ali was sitting on the couch supervising my child at the time only adds to my anxiety.  

3. I suppose that videos of Nicole Scherzinger in next to nothing may also be to blame for the  fact that a little boy in Maya’s class has been looking up all of the little girl’s skirts?  I think I’ve worn away my enamel over this one.

4. The school’s solution to a 5-year-old peeping Tom is to tell all the girls to wear shorts underneath their dresses.  This doesn’t exactly lull me to sleep at night.

5. And the fact that Ali’s reaction to the whole fiasco was a simple “hmm” is putting my TMJ into overdrive.

So I guess in the end it all comes down to this: my dentist is driving around in a luxury car thanks to a bunch of grown women who call themselves the Pussycat Dolls.  Funny how things work, huh?

63 Comments leave one →
  1. September 29, 2010 2:24 am

    Lol, that’s too funny! I love #2! 🙂

  2. September 29, 2010 3:03 am

    bahahahah. i have definitely turned the radio when driving with my little sister because of what she was singing along to.

    and yes i’m still interested in a house trade. i think this post just confirmed that i need to experience time in the life of ameena! 🙂

  3. September 29, 2010 3:12 am

    Ughhh the pussycat dolls…the bane of women’s existence worldwide. If I had a daughter, all of these things would definitely be inducing TMJ. In fact, I might have pre-emptive teeth grinding for my future children. I should probably invest in a mouth guard.

  4. September 29, 2010 3:23 am

    Hahaha I love how you always put motherhood into perspective for me!

  5. September 29, 2010 3:33 am

    Holy crap – you’re TV is the size of my wall …seriously 🙂 Wow.

    Yipes..I haven’t had insurance in over a year, so I haven’t been to the dentist…some people say “no big deal” but it is when I have actual pain and problems there…but I won’t dare go…same with my eyeglasses…I have very fuzzy vision, can’t read the TV or clock or anything, but I broke my glasses over a year ago, and I refuse to pay for anything.
    Oh, insurance and benefits…but a dream!

    Fun post Ameena!

  6. September 29, 2010 3:50 am

    Lol…yeah, I’d grind my teeth at that too. Every time I turn on E!, I pretty much find some reason to grind them. 🙂

  7. September 29, 2010 3:57 am

    Oh, boys. They never do change, do they? By the way, I grind my teeth, too, and wear a mouth guard at night. I put off getting one because I figured, like you, that my dentist was just trying to scam me. But it’s helped a ton. And I can see the cracks in my teeth from all of the grinding I had done previously. Grind too much and your enamel can start to pop off–which is not fun at all, trust me.

  8. September 29, 2010 4:19 am

    UGH – I feel your pain! After awful tooth aches and a root canal, I, too, sucked it up and paid for one of those pricey suckers. I still clench at night but I guess the mouthguard absorbs the pressure?! Considering Maya is only 5, I think you have plenty of “excitement” in store and should definitely pony up for the guard.

  9. September 29, 2010 4:28 am

    Oh, so sorry to hear about the mouth guard thing :(… , but I gotta say, you do make me laugh! Actually, i have a dentist appointment today. I hope I dont get any bad news.
    *kisses* HH

  10. September 29, 2010 4:49 am

    Oh my goodness on the peeping Timmy (too young to be a Tom) and how the school handled it. And I find Peter supervising M with the most ridiculous things going on around her too. They just don’t get it.

  11. September 29, 2010 4:53 am

    Since the 5 year old boy shouldn’t have the right mix of hormones to actually care what’s up a girl’s skirt for another 8 years, he’s probably doing it for attention. But the school’s response is worrisome. Imagine if they were running a high school: “Due to complaints of cat-calling and slack-jawed stares made by certain statuesque beauties, we recommend all female students wear burqas on campus.”

  12. September 29, 2010 5:23 am

    Dude, a peeping Tom already? I’m surprised they didn’t do more about it. How gross.

    The Pussycat Dolls would make me grind my teeth too if my 5 year sang along to them, LOL

  13. September 29, 2010 6:32 am

    I recall looking up my mom’s skirt when I was Maya’s age. I saw Drop Dead Fred do it so i thought it was funny. I had NO CLUE what it meant or that it was bad.

    I got in some major trouble for it.

    I think it’s pretty preposterous that the school is telling the girls to wear shorts under their skirts. Maybe they should teach the boy that looking up girls skirts is NOT OKAY.He obviously doesn’t know any better

  14. September 29, 2010 6:32 am

    I knew the Pussycat Dolls would lead to something like this! I hope they make that boy wear shorts under his shorts so he can suffer also.

  15. September 29, 2010 6:42 am

    Haha I have grinded (ground?) my teeth for every finals week since sophomore year of high school. Headaches!

    5 year old creeper! Ahh!

  16. September 29, 2010 6:45 am


    I grind my teeth too and have been pushed to get a mouthguard. I blame work. Too stressful.

    Get a mouthguard or quit work? I vote for the latter 😉

  17. September 29, 2010 6:51 am

    It is funny love way you put things.
    Regarding Dentist when ever i make visit to them they found gold mine in mouth with all fillings. They want take most of them out and put new one. finally giving me a bill of 2500 dollars after sucking from insurance also. So I stopped going to them. only visit when i needed. Finally I find one guy who is not that greedy.
    Regarding peeping tom i have no idea, i need to wait until my little princess has to make trip to school.

  18. September 29, 2010 7:01 am

    I wonder what would happen if little girls started laying the smackdown on little boys who did that? It freaks me out to have a daughter, so props to you for raising such a lovely little girl 🙂
    And yup, I grind my teeth too (even without having a child to worry about).

  19. September 29, 2010 7:09 am

    Lol I LOVE how you tie it all together in the end! I really enjoy reading your blog! Your little girl seems like a piece of work! 🙂

  20. September 29, 2010 7:12 am

    I love visiting blogs first thing in the morning cause they help me get off to a good start for the day. But when I don’t have time to visit blogs in the morning and have to visit them at night, your blog always puts a huge smile on my face (any time of the day). Thank you! Sorry to hear about the mouth guard. Hopefully once you get used to it, you won’t even notice it’s there.

  21. September 29, 2010 7:21 am

    i patronize my dentist because he is HANDSOME. last year’s tab alone would have bought me another closet full of shoes. would i consider him a whore since i pay to see him and he makes me go to la-la land (with nitrous oxide silly!)? He broke my heart though when he announced that he and his wife were expecting. such a cheating son of a….

    just go get one of the jock mouth pieces you can find at walmart. itll sve you $298

  22. September 29, 2010 7:21 am

    I wish you could visit our NEW dentist.

    our last one told us that hubs needed 18,000$ worth of work (HUH) and I needed $7,000.

    we were obviously putting it off because that’s like our pool..haha

    but worried nonetheless that our teeth were rotting out of our faces.

    when her tatics became high pressured we’d had enough and got a referral for a new one.

    $800.00 bucks for us both.
    we’re all caught up now and most of my work was “made up”
    doesn’t that just frost your cookie, it’s robbery!

    I knit. it’s how I deal with life’s frustrations!

    I knit a lot!

  23. Leah @ Why Deprive? permalink
    September 29, 2010 7:52 am

    You can get a mouth guard at the drug store. They mold to your mouth just like the ones at the dentist. Theyre also cheaper and then you can spend the $300 you save on shoes! 🙂

  24. September 29, 2010 7:58 am

    haha, i feel like every time I go the dentist they tell me that I need to return in the next week or so for something. They’re trying to convince me to get my wisdom teeth out. Not happening. lol

  25. September 29, 2010 8:11 am

    Hahaha! Very funny!
    I’ve been a teeth-grinder since I was a little kid (disturbing, I know). I used to wake up my parents. They said it sounded like I was cracking nuts with my teeth. Yikes. I’ve had an orthodontist-made guard for 15+ years. I know I still grind and it gives me headaches sometimes, but at least my teeth are protected. You can try the drugstore kind. Personally, I destroyed those with my grinding within 2 days. I would splurge for the guard.

  26. September 29, 2010 8:17 am

    I would be grinding my teeth too if I had a little girl (or boy!) There is so much trash out there, and it seems like it is becoming easier and easier for kids to access it. And my husband grinds his teeth too…we’ve yet to buy a mouth guard, and we probably won’t.

  27. September 29, 2010 8:36 am

    Seriously?!?!?! 5? I was the most clueless 5 year old alive. Oh boys.

    I blame college for my teeth grinding action 😦

  28. September 29, 2010 10:24 am

    It makes perfect sense to me that everyone should change their wardrobe because of one kid. It sounds like our government!

  29. September 29, 2010 10:32 am

    I’m practically in tears laughing over here. oh my good god, peeping toms at age 5. not ok.

    my dentist told me i need one of those too. Why they hell doesn’t my insurance cover it!?! BS!! (I didnt get one…)

  30. oc2seattle permalink
    September 29, 2010 10:52 am

    Love the witty way in which you handled this subject. And they say tv and movie images have no effect on people – Hah!

  31. Liza permalink
    September 29, 2010 11:17 am

    I enjoy your blog. I love how you incorporate daily life…with food…family…pop culture…etc. You do it a very clever way. As a Mother of a 6 year old, I can relate to many of your posts. Just wondering if you had any thoughts about the recent Katy Perry controversy? Just wondering how other “Moms” feel about it. LOL.
    Thanks again for all your posts.

    • September 30, 2010 1:16 pm

      Hi Liza – First off, thank you for the compliment! I am not a big fan of Katy Perry! My dislike for her aside, I had to wonder how Sesame Street could put a fairly slutty popstar like her on their show, especially one that sings a song about kissing a girl and liking it? I just don’t think that kids that young should know about kissing in general? I am pretty conservative though so thats just my two cents. Thanks for reading Liza! I really appreciate it. Ameena

  32. September 29, 2010 11:58 am

    LOL…I’m sure your dentist loves you. I tend to grind my teeth, too…but for different reasons…mostly work related.

  33. September 29, 2010 12:22 pm

    Andrew’s dentist said he needed one of those too, but then whispered to him that he could actually just get one from a sporting goods store and that would work just as well. So he took her advice, but does he ever where it? No. So I’m glad he didn’t waste our money on an expensive one!

  34. highonhealthy permalink
    September 29, 2010 1:04 pm

    Wear shorts underneath their dresses? Really? That’s the best solution they could come up with? I’m kind of thinking the solution should have something to do with the peeping Tom and not the girls but hey, what do I know.

  35. September 29, 2010 1:19 pm

    Hilarious, Ameena, and probably true that one is! The things on T.V./Radio today are unbelievable, and no one seems to think any of it is a big deal. Hmm! That’s a snotty ‘hmm’ with my nose way up in the air too (smile).
    Oh, and I now trust dentists and medical doctors less than my local reptilian attorneys. No offense if any of your family members are of these professions. My Cauldron Boy is, indeed, an attorney so you know…;)

  36. September 29, 2010 1:31 pm

    She probably jams out to Pussycat Dolls during her morning workout every day.

    Very disturbing about that little boy!

  37. September 29, 2010 2:07 pm

    That is too funny Ameena!! They’re in cahoots I tell you 😉

  38. Kath (Eating for Living) permalink
    September 29, 2010 2:25 pm

    I also have to wear a mouth guard because I grind my teeth at night due to stress, and it has damaged my teeth quite a lot and made my jaws hurt. Now I wear this funny little plastic thing every night and again feel like when I was in school and had to wear brackets because my teeth were so skew.

  39. September 29, 2010 4:55 pm

    those pussy cat dolls… the bane of our society! for sure.
    I grind my teeth once in a while…not every night though. I have never noticed it! Raine says it sounds like I’m crunching hard candies.
    And kids these days are growing up too fast! back in my day it was all about cutting your own hair with stolen scissors in the bathroom.

  40. September 29, 2010 6:22 pm

    The little “sexiest” rating in the corner of the television screen is really what kills me. And I thought we were finally rid of The Pussycat Dolls.

    Just give that dentist everything you’ve got.

  41. September 29, 2010 8:53 pm

    Your description of this reminds me of that scene on Mean Girls where the little sister is dancing around to some inappropriate song–I can’t remember what song it is…..milkshake maybe? Anwho–she is dancing with her arms up and a mid drift–soooo funny.

  42. actorsdiet permalink
    September 29, 2010 10:34 pm

    i have to get a night guard too…is that how much it is $300?!?

    • September 30, 2010 8:22 am

      The first quote I got was $500! I was able to negotiate $300.

      • October 26, 2010 8:15 pm

        Seriously, that’s a deal.

      • October 27, 2010 1:12 pm

        Hi Deb – It was a really good deal! The first dentist I went to quoted me $800. Dentists are like mechanics – you never know if they are ripping you off!!

  43. September 30, 2010 3:25 am

    i never knew I ground my teeth at night till my dentist told me..turns out I do it when I’m stressed…I would be stressed for you too if I lived with two hoarders.

  44. September 30, 2010 4:28 am

    Wait … did Maya’s school REALLY just say that, about the shorts?? I can see why you have a lot of stress in your life right now :/ I like the connection you made there between the car and … is that really the name of a group? :O

    I’m sorry to hear about the mouth guard – I hope you get used to it quickly. I’ve been thinking about seeing my dentist about grinding teeth, too. Whenever I’m stressed, Peter says that he hears “this grinding noise coming from your head that wakes me up”, while I’m sleeping. Yikes! I hope things are looking up for you, Ameena!

  45. September 30, 2010 6:59 am

    oh I love you. you are freakin hilarious.

  46. September 30, 2010 7:38 am

    I told myself when faced with a similar situ. Mouth guard it is – just make sure to use it so the money will be worth it. I think dentists and doctors learn how to charge the patients and code the insurance claims first thing. Has the school talked to the boy’s parents about the issue? It sounds as if school is not dealing with it the right way.

    • September 30, 2010 1:25 pm

      The school has supposedly talked to the little boy’s parents but who knows? I feel like they are putting a bandaid on a problem that is only going to get worse as the year progresses!

  47. September 30, 2010 2:08 pm

    Wow. Either schools completely over or under react….no middle ground when it comes to inappropriate behavior!
    I recently discovered that I grind, but after having tons of dental work in the past (most of it extraneous, and while my old dentist didn’t have a Mercedes, his office waiting room did have personalized water bottles and M&Ms with his logo on them. Good use of discretionary funds), I have a serious trust issue with anyone who wants to get near my mouth.

  48. September 30, 2010 2:52 pm

    #4…..what the %$#&?? that got me grinding my teeth too!! please tell me that boy’s parents were at least spoken to. :O

  49. September 30, 2010 9:52 pm

    BOTH my parents has serious grinding issues, now I feel guilty that its all because of me!!! O dear, what have I done! well maybe all children furnish dentists malibu homes I guess.

  50. September 30, 2010 11:49 pm

    As always, you make me laugh so hard.

    I’d have to go with #1. Kids should not sing. Especially Pussycat Doll songs.

  51. October 1, 2010 3:58 am

    Thats so right.., giggling away here. It sorta puts a dampner on things when you walk out of your Dr’s office to see that big flashy car, you get that funny feeling about whose curing who huh…

  52. October 1, 2010 9:24 am

    Thanks for stopping by. I love my dentist, and I think it’s time for you to get a new one, no? I’ve been a night guard wearer for years. This being said, I think they are worth the cost because the damage caused by not wearing one will cost you more in the long run with cracked teeth, recessions, etc. FYI, I’m not a dentist and I’m not a sucker for everything that the medical field tells me I should do. Outside of routine care, I never see the dentist for anything so I think it must be paying off. My two cents.

  53. October 3, 2010 8:25 pm

    I grind my teeth too! I have realllyyy bad TMJ 😦 I havent opened my mouth all the way in over a year…. I really really really need to get a mouth guard.

  54. October 4, 2010 10:21 am

    Haha, you’re great fun 😀 and hey, I’m paying for my dentist’s fancy car too. UGH.

  55. October 8, 2010 11:24 am

    I clench my teeth while sleeping whenever I have upcoming exams! My jaw is so sore in the morning!

    That is worrisome about the school’s response to the peeping tom . . . it’s almost like blaming the girls — “well, if they just wore shorts underneath it wouldn’t be a problem” — wonder if they are the same type who ask what a rape victim was wearing. geesh.

  56. October 26, 2010 8:17 pm

    As a dentist I have 3 things to say about this whole story:


    Except in reality it’s not at all funny that little boys are looking up girls skirts and the solution is for the girl to change! And that 5 yr olds are singing that stuff (although they really don’t understand what they are saying I hope). At least you can deal with these situations with humor!

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